Im breaking down soon..
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have you talk to her yet?
Try to talk to her...
and don't think about the things u do, but things u never do ? -
is her colleague a guy?
if so jialat liao. -
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give him a break willya?Originally posted by dragg:is her colleague a guy?
if so jialat liao. -
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hmm .. mayb make more effort ?? like when she off work go pick her up or wat?? deprive the other male the chance to perform .. try to be more attentive n catch more hints .. like ur gf say she like this or that .. try to suprise her ?? so she wont find u boring n prefer the colleague over u ?? hmm .. try to add spice in the rls ? kinda hard i guess .. i guess the other colleague may hav a motive here .. well take ur step slowly .. this is all about the mind .. if u let ur emotions get better of u .. like say u suddenly had a big quarrel with her .. she sad .. the only person she would go to is the colleague .. thus u will let their relationship lvl raise ..
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you dont know abou the guy. thats the problem.Originally posted by mamamamama:He's a guy.. but i doubt she's interested in him.. think she only enjoys his company.. -
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I mean talk to her about the guys action, maybe just ask her how she feels about him.Originally posted by mamamamama:We talked over it many times before.. but it still doesn't seem to help.. there's definitely nothing fishy going on between them but i just can't accept the fact that she places him in a higher priority than me..
Do u mean trying out new stuff to catch her attention or some sort?
Do tell her how you feel.... -
HOw old are the both of ya...?Originally posted by mamamamama:Yea i know that this is just another one of the ordinary post u see in Aunt Agony but i really need a place to confide in..
It isn't easy substaining a 2 year relationship.. in this case, my relationship.. For the past 1 1/2 year, we were really close and loving.. Friends even refered to us as the Velcro Couple..
However all good things come to an end..
After she started working and making new friends.. i seem to play a less important part in her life.. that colleague of hers would always be there for her.. depriving me a chance to do so..
Recently my girlfriend started having breathing problems and in the past, it was always me bringing her to the doctor.. but now, that colleague of hers would accompany her there.. Shouldn't i be the one bringing her to the doctor?
That colleague of hers would also accompany her to repair her phone and stuff.. Where does that leave me then?
Even when i want to catch a movie.. i have to do an "advance booking" with her.. since she might already promise her colleague to watch it together..
I feel that she should place me in first pirority, showing me more concern and all that.. after all, im her boyfriend.. We have talked over this many times but it all ended up in me losing my temper.. i tried controlling myself.. telling myself not to get angry but i really can't stand it longer..
Please.. i really do need some advice..
Is it her colleagueS or is it just about this PARTICULAR GUY...
Personally, I feel that you should just accept the fact that she would change at least a bit as she starts to work and step into the society... No point being overly possessive... And understand that there're some things which the others can do with her, while some other which often only bf would do with their gf... Be MORE MATURE about it... Are you not having enough confidence in yourself or your gf... If that's the case, it's simply time to BUCK UP... NOT TIE HER DOWN... You can't be tying her forever now, can you...? -
hey dude!i haven't seen u ard here..haha..Originally posted by mamamamama:I guess you guys are right.. i don't know about that guy.. Thanks for all the advice though! im glad that at least some people cares
welcome to sgforums man..of course we'll help u!FOC TOO lor..
where got so good a place one..
anyway...good luck mamamamamamaamammaamaa!im sure u can do this by urself!glad that u confide in us!
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Originally posted by mamamamama:Yea i know that this is just another one of the ordinary post u see in Aunt Agony but i really need a place to confide in..
It isn't easy substaining a 2 year relationship.. in this case, my relationship.. For the past 1 1/2 year, we were really close and loving.. Friends even refered to us as the Velcro Couple..
However all good things come to an end..
After she started working and making new friends.. i seem to play a less important part in her life.. that colleague of hers would always be there for her.. depriving me a chance to do so..
Recently my girlfriend started having breathing problems and in the past, it was always me bringing her to the doctor.. but now, that colleague of hers would accompany her there.. Shouldn't i be the one bringing her to the doctor?
That colleague of hers would also accompany her to repair her phone and stuff.. Where does that leave me then?
Even when i want to catch a movie.. i have to do an "advance booking" with her.. since she might already promise her colleague to watch it together..
I feel that she should place me in first pirority, showing me more concern and all that.. after all, im her boyfriend.. We have talked over this many times but it all ended up in me losing my temper.. i tried controlling myself.. telling myself not to get angry but i really can't stand it longer..
Please.. i really do need some advice..
What's her astrological sign? (Yunhaier unable to determine 
)
Cheers -
read the post clearly la, he has already said it and there your asking...Originally posted by Sekundes:have you talk to her yet?
Try to talk to her...
and don't think about the things u do, but things u never do ?
are you here to advice or here to add salt to the wound??Originally posted by dragg:is her colleague a guy?
if so jialat liao.
stop it la, if your not here to help, then jolly well get out of this, stop stabbing someone who is already bleeding in his heart...Originally posted by dragg:you dont know abou the guy. thats the problem. -
Dragg wish to gain more infomation.Originally posted by weijian:stop it la, if your not here to help, then jolly well get out of this, stop stabbing someone who is already bleeding in his heart...
Chill yeah? -
you know what you should do, but just end up losing temper soon during discussion...are you currently having puberty?? if that's the case, then try to work things out in a clam way...go to some place that will make the both of you relax....don't go to some noisy place...that will only worsen the atmosphere during discussion...as discussion bout this things are bound to have unhappiness...so if you must discuss with her, find a quiet place..in the park...by the beach..or inside a posh restaurant (if you can afford it)Originally posted by mamamamama:Yea i know that this is just another one of the ordinary post u see in Aunt Agony but i really need a place to confide in..
It isn't easy substaining a 2 year relationship.. in this case, my relationship.. For the past 1 1/2 year, we were really close and loving.. Friends even refered to us as the Velcro Couple..
However all good things come to an end..
After she started working and making new friends.. i seem to play a less important part in her life.. that colleague of hers would always be there for her.. depriving me a chance to do so..
Recently my girlfriend started having breathing problems and in the past, it was always me bringing her to the doctor.. but now, that colleague of hers would accompany her there.. Shouldn't i be the one bringing her to the doctor?
That colleague of hers would also accompany her to repair her phone and stuff.. Where does that leave me then?
Even when i want to catch a movie.. i have to do an "advance booking" with her.. since she might already promise her colleague to watch it together..
I feel that she should place me in first pirority, showing me more concern and all that.. after all, im her boyfriend.. We have talked over this many times but it all ended up in me losing my temper.. i tried controlling myself.. telling myself not to get angry but i really can't stand it longer..
Please.. i really do need some advice..
as she starts working, you have to accept the reality that her social cycle has widened, and this is one thing that you 100% have no control over...instead of getting jealous over the guys...face it...and send her off to work and fetch her back home after work..when u see her feeling tired...give her a massage on your own intiaitve...surprise her...make her feel comfortable...let her losen up...by picking her to and off work...you have more time with her...and you can let her rest more..in the public transport...let her take a nap...when the both of you reach her work place, then wake up her gently...it will be great if you can turn up to fetch her after work (if it's raining)
all this are small little things that GUYS TEND TO FORGET...remember them and show your gal that you are meticulous in this area...so you stand out from the other guy or all other guys...
hope you can put those that i have said into action...good luck!!
this is what you should accept - and understand why...because they work together...they tend to talk more and eventually they reach a mutal understanding for each other...so if you don't want to lose out...meet her up at least twice a week...take her out at least once or twice per month for movies or for restaurants (just order some simple things in the chinese restaurants...1 visit will cost around $50-$80..don't be afraid to spend on food...it means you care that she might overwork and didn't eat enough...but if she wants you to buy clothes...can...once or twice per year...Originally posted by mamamamama:We talked over it many times before.. but it still doesn't seem to help.. there's definitely nothing fishy going on between them but i just can't accept the fact that she places him in a higher priority than me..
Do u mean trying out new stuff to catch her attention or some sort?
having a gal by your side means that you have to practise your money issues...
plan well my fren...
this is when your wrong, my fren...when she is comfortable with that guy...means they are already close frenz...since you said she do almost everything with her...the you should jolly well wake up your idea...and get her back to you...substaining a relationship is harder or on par with finding a gf if you dunno..committment is a must..don't take things too lightly...will you??Originally posted by mamamamama:He's a guy.. but i doubt she's interested in him.. think she only enjoys his company.. -
i will try to...but at least he shld be there suggesting some advice and not talking bout things that will make him feel worse..rite??Originally posted by M©+square:Dragg wish to gain more infomation.
Chill yeah?
i will try to... -
what u should do is communicate more often with your gf, your 'late and missed' chances sounds like u didnt talk enuff with her.... but dun be so particular abt the missed actions so better dun make a big fuss out of it, but do tell her that u feel less activities between the 2 of u... try to plan a holiday trip with her so u can have private time... no need for all the breaking down la...Originally posted by mamamamama:Yea i know that this is just another one of the ordinary post u see in Aunt Agony but i really need a place to confide in..
It isn't easy substaining a 2 year relationship.. in this case, my relationship.. For the past 1 1/2 year, we were really close and loving.. Friends even refered to us as the Velcro Couple..
However all good things come to an end..
.......
Please.. i really do need some advice.. -
siao liao....may god bless u in advance...
I guess even if u have talked countless times, and still no change in her, i think u shld be more "demanding" in asking her why is tat colleague placed above u?
Even though u mentioned that there is nothing bet them, but ri jiu sheng qing.
I am not trying to create discord bet u n her. But come on lah... How can nothing be happening right? If tat colleague is single, sure will have motives one..dun believe, u ask any forumers ard lor... -
well HONESTLY, if shes placing her frends higher priority over u, then she most probably finds them more fun. u gotta show her ur fun side too!! bring her out more often, get her gifts that she REALLY REALLY wants, not just ANY gift. talk with her about almost anything under the sun, gotta have some fun, relax, talk like u both are best friends and can discuss any topic without feeling guilty or anything...try to spend your time with her such that shes practically smiling and laughing all thw while with u...dont get serious over small stuff...have some fun.
another thing is u gotta ask her to spend more time with u.. tell her what u feel inside uknowwadimsayin =P tell her that u really like her and would not wish to have any barriers within your relationship with her. cos if she starts spending less time with u, u better start doing smthing b4 it gets too late!!
however!!!! being women, they will definately need some space for themselves to enjoy away from YOUR company, she needs to have fun with her own friends too, but tell her if shes overdoing it if she really is.
u could also offer to hang out with her and her friends. that way u can get to know their personalities and whether their reliable or safe for your GF to hang out with u know!!!
well hope this helps!!! ^^ -
Your case is similar as me... Office relationships are so common now and so discreet somemore. Haf u watched GetReal by Diana Ser? They haf this segment on Office relationship...Originally posted by darknessfall:siao liao....may god bless u in advance...
I guess even if u have talked countless times, and still no change in her, i think u shld be more "demanding" in asking her why is tat colleague placed above u?
Even though u mentioned that there is nothing bet them, but ri jiu sheng qing.
I am not trying to create discord bet u n her. But come on lah... How can nothing be happening right? If tat colleague is single, sure will have motives one..dun believe, u ask any forumers ard lor...
These are the signs that she wants a breakup. I am not scaring u but I want u to be prepared mentality when the time she breaks the news to u. I am a victim of your case too and I am here to help even though I am having my problems too. Some guys are really bastard. They know that gal got BF still want to get up close and personal with that lady. These kind of guys deserved to be given a tight slap. -
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GL!!Originally posted by mamamamama:Sorry i didn't reply till now.. i was at work last night.. so tired now.. haha.. Really wanna thank everyone for the advice.. i'll let u guys know if things get better k? -
I can see you love your gf very much but does she love you in return?
If you say she loves you, then in what way does she show it?
Is your gf the type that can only soak IN love than dish out love back?
Get Real ...on mutual love.
If it's just one way (your way), don't waste your love on her anymore - save it up for someone else. -