Im breaking down soon..
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Originally posted by weijian:i will try to...but at least he shld be there suggesting some advice and not talking bout things that will make him feel worse..rite??
i will try to...
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Honest fact pls. Do you normally throw your temper?Originally posted by mamamamama:Everytime i learn about her going out with that colleague of hers.. my heart really aches.. i must admit that im jealous even if there's nothing going on among them.. if they were to go out in a group with other colleagues.. i certainly wouldn't mind a bit..
One of my friends even thought we've already broken up.. 'coz he saw them acting as though they were really close to each other.. can you imagine how devastated i felt.. Being with someone of the opposite sex doesn't make you his/her boyfriend/girlfriend.. but they were actually so close that my friend thought they were together..
It's ok being with someone of the opposite sex.. but there's a limit to it.. a limit to how much i can take..
p.s. pardon my english.. it really sucks.
Have you looked into your relationship and see what could have gone amissed? (not talking about the guy here...) -
In fact i do.. but only when i really feel neglected..
We were really going on fine until she met that guy.. i guess she really feels bored during her time spent with me.. or maybe it's me being over-possessive over her.. -
that guy must zhi dong mahz. like if my female friend has a bf i will go out wif her less right to avoid bad things to happen
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mamamamama,
I think seriously there is something wrong. It seems to me your gal no longer consider you as tt impt anymore. There is a chance that she no longer loves you but she does not want to be the one initiating the breakup and soon after that, being seen with another guy.
I suspect she might just be waiting for u to initiate.
Guys do lose temper once a while...its really normal esp when face with the situation you are in. I can fully empathsize with your situation.
Ask her out... trash it out..have a heart to heart talk. Dont lose your temper...if things cant work out, just let her go. clinging on to her will do u no further good.
If things can be work out, good for u. -
have a nice talk and keep your cool...try to sort out the differences you and your gf have...
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1. Sekundes may have missed out the part about the poster mentioning about having spoken to his ex/gf. Did you have to be so RUDE?
2. Dragg is making a comment. It may have been just a harmless remark. Besides, it's Not like he's making baseless allegations that the gf must be doing something bad. You're being over-sensitive. By the way, if you're questioning him about whether he's here to give advice or so-called "rubbing salt in wound", then are you here to give advice or to simply scold all the others who may have had good intentions?
3. Dragg was making another remark, & he DOES have a point. He's saying that the poster Not knowing about the guy could be the reason for his frustration. If the gf is more transparent, the guy may Not have cause to be so worried. Again, you're being over-sensitive. And you should NOT be telling other people to get outta this, he has as much of a right to be here as YOU do.
In other words
You do NOT own AA. Stop telling others to get out. YOU have a choice to leave if you do Not wish to see others' advice.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by weijian:i will try to...but at least he shld be there suggesting some advice and not talking bout things that will make him feel worse..rite??
i will try to... -
that's the thing in relationship..
don't count on freedom too much.. she has the right to make friends and spend some time with them..
and that's the problem with me now too.. i was expecting my gf to call me in the morning and night at least to talk abit.. but i suppose i was expecting too much then.. -
agree with feow. Try not to shoot down comments by others in AA please. We are here to help not to hit each other.Originally posted by FeowFeow:1. Sekundes may have missed out the part about the poster mentioning about having spoken to his ex/gf. Did you have to be so RUDE?
2. Dragg is making a comment. It may have been just a harmless remark. Besides, it's Not like he's making baseless allegations that the gf must be doing something bad. You're being over-sensitive. By the way, if you're questioning him about whether he's here to give advice or so-called "rubbing salt in wound", then are you here to give advice or to simply scold all the others who may have had good intentions?
3. Dragg was making another remark, & he DOES have a point. He's saying that the poster Not knowing about the guy could be the reason for his frustration. If the gf is more transparent, the guy may Not have cause to be so worried. Again, you're being over-sensitive. And you should NOT be telling other people to get outta this, he has as much of a right to be here as YOU do.
In other words You do NOT own AA. Stop telling others to get out. YOU have a choice to leave if you do Not wish to see others' advice.
FeowFeow -
I seriously can understand ur feeling rite now. It's burning and killing inside ur heart, it will be worse if u keep everything inside urself.
In my opinion, i feel that that guy is pretty interested in ur gf, he's taking no chance and spend as much time as he can with her, to accumulate his affections.
Although, i have no doubt ur gf is pretty much in love with u, on the hand, she might have give that guy a chance or may even alittle feeling for him, which mean it may be quite risky on ur relationship.
However, there's no chance for u to be too emotional and burst out ur temper, which will mess out everything and exposed a gap for the guy to come into ur relationship.
I have no idea how ur gf character is like. My suggestion is if u think u are confidence enough, do something unexpected for her, touch her deep inside her heart, letting her know u can do anything for her. Most impt, control ur temper, try to compromise.
Well, my analyse is quite extreme, but this is how i can see in a hostlic manner. -
i will work on point 2 and 3, thanks for the reminder...and as for point 1 (what poster thingy??), i don't get it...thanks for the ur enlightment..Originally posted by FeowFeow:1. Sekundes may have missed out the part about the poster mentioning about having spoken to his ex/gf. Did you have to be so RUDE?
2. Dragg is making a comment. It may have been just a harmless remark. Besides, it's Not like he's making baseless allegations that the gf must be doing something bad. You're being over-sensitive. By the way, if you're questioning him about whether he's here to give advice or so-called "rubbing salt in wound", then are you here to give advice or to simply scold all the others who may have had good intentions?
3. Dragg was making another remark, & he DOES have a point. He's saying that the poster Not knowing about the guy could be the reason for his frustration. If the gf is more transparent, the guy may Not have cause to be so worried. Again, you're being over-sensitive. And you should NOT be telling other people to get outta this, he has as much of a right to be here as YOU do.
In other words You do NOT own AA. Stop telling others to get out. YOU have a choice to leave if you do Not wish to see others' advice.
FeowFeow
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Originally posted by weijian:i will work on point 2 and 3, thanks for the reminder...and as for point 1 (what poster thingy??), i don't get it...thanks for the ur enlightment.. The problem is because HE doesn't know the guy... which made things worst. If this guy is someone he knows, things are different... at least mama can base his knowledge about what he knows about the guy to decide what to do with his situation.
Poster refers to the person who post. (The one who post is the poster... get it?)
P.S: Surprisingly you never say me leh... I ask for astrological sign, which most people would think that is damn wu liao lor.
Cheers -
It can help if u try to numb e pain for a while and look back to the period just before yr gf got her new job and colleague. Importantly...
did u both have some underlying issues that remain unsettled?
any persisting arguments or disagreements that haven't been resolved?
how do you both, as a couple, solve problems concerning yr relationships?
etc...
if both of u are still dating, still together and haven't break up, it may not mean that she's interested in that colleague of hers. There're many reasons, and since as it appears that there isn't any going on between them, it'll help by you dropping this issue together and instead, work on improving your relationship between you and yr gf before things really go wrong. This is to trust yr gf, and also give her the space that she needs, and also e benefit of the doubt. On your part, do try to keep yourself in check whenever you're with her, so that you do not overreact when trying to talk about the "colleague issue"
Very importantly, there is a concern that if this pattern persist, things can happen the way you don't want it to be. A breakup at worst - i'm sure u'd want to avoid. Stay calm, try yr best to. Go back to the days you were dating and having conflicts. Explore the conflicts you both had..disturbing or unsettling it might be...exploring (on your own) your difficult times together can give your insights to how you can be a better boyfriend to her, or even answers to why she might be behaving the way she is today.
i hope this helps -
let her know how you feel deep inside of you. that you don't like it the way that bastard hangs around her. let her know you're very jealous and wishes to be much more importance than that guy is. tell her you're doing this because you love her and doesn't wishes to lose her.
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Hi, you should widen your social circle like what your girlfriend did. Get to know more new friends and go out with them. This would pull you out from the tiny little corner which consist only the two of you. Painful at first, but slowly you would get used to it, and you will find yourself handling people and relationships much better. Stop trapping yourself and open up! Hope it helps.Originally posted by mamamamama:Yea i know that this is just another one of the ordinary post u see in Aunt Agony but i really need a place to confide in..
It isn't easy substaining a 2 year relationship.. in this case, my relationship.. For the past 1 1/2 year, we were really close and loving.. Friends even refered to us as the Velcro Couple..
However all good things come to an end..
After she started working and making new friends.. i seem to play a less important part in her life.. that colleague of hers would always be there for her.. depriving me a chance to do so..
Recently my girlfriend started having breathing problems and in the past, it was always me bringing her to the doctor.. but now, that colleague of hers would accompany her there.. Shouldn't i be the one bringing her to the doctor?
That colleague of hers would also accompany her to repair her phone and stuff.. Where does that leave me then?
Even when i want to catch a movie.. i have to do an "advance booking" with her.. since she might already promise her colleague to watch it together..
I feel that she should place me in first pirority, showing me more concern and all that.. after all, im her boyfriend.. We have talked over this many times but it all ended up in me losing my temper.. i tried controlling myself.. telling myself not to get angry but i really can't stand it longer..
Please.. i really do need some advice.. -
I simply agreed with u. Some guys are buayas. Gals got bfs still want to try to make their presence felt. Why are these guys like that? School never teach them what are Moral Values meh?Originally posted by anhydrouscoppersulphate:that guy must zhi dong mahz. like if my female friend has a bf i will go out wif her less right to avoid bad things to happen -
i fuly agree with this man..Originally posted by AnimalArmy:I simply agreed with u. Some guys are buayas. Gals got bfs still want to try to make their presence felt. Why are these guys like that? School never teach them what are Moral Values meh?
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Oh great.. she told me last evening that her feelings for me are unlike in the past.. Yea she still loves me but yet she feels we lack the chemistry that couples have.. She feels i'm more like her brother.. just a brother whom she loves..
This explains why she changed so much since.. -
nice excuse. works every time.Originally posted by mamamamama:Oh great.. she told me last evening that her feelings for me are unlike in the past.. Yea she still loves me but yet she feels we lack the chemistry that couples have.. She feels i'm more like her brother.. just a brother that she loves..
This explains why she changed so much since.. -
[size=small]Seek my advice and you shall be saved internally.
Past is past. Present is present. The earth is changing every second. Feelings changed over time. Get your backside up and act like a man.
It's your fucking fault that you screwed this relationship up.
Men like your ought to be shot at the back for someone directly stealing the girl you loved for 2 years in front of your nose.
You are like a girl in this relationship. A girl with no dick.
So much plenty of girls out there now, but i feel you cannot move on without the proper guidance with a Guru like me.
Pour your sorrows on me and I lead you out of this hellhole.
size]
Out.
[/i]Originally posted by mamamamama:Oh great.. she told me last evening that her feelings for me are unlike in the past.. Yea she still loves me but yet she feels we lack the chemistry that couples have.. She feels i'm more like her brother.. just a brother whom she loves..
This explains why she changed so much since.. -
Mind your language.Originally posted by Oyathatsme:[size=small]Seek my advice and you shall be saved internally.
Past is past. Present is present. The earth is changing every second. Feelings changed over time. Get your backside up and act like a man.
It's your fucking fault that you screwed this relationship up.
Men like your ought to be shot at the back for someone directly stealing the girl you loved for 2 years in front of your nose.
You are like a girl in this relationship. A girl with no dick.
So much plenty of girls out there now, but i feel you cannot move on without the proper guidance with a Guru like me.
Pour your sorrows on me and I lead you out of this hellhole.
size]
Out.
[/i]
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Maybe things really ain't as 'fine' as you thought it was? It's just a matter of time for a guy to appear and pull her out of the track...?Originally posted by mamamamama:In fact i do.. but only when i really feel neglected..
We were really going on fine until she met that guy.. i guess she really feels bored during her time spent with me.. or maybe it's me being over-possessive over her.. -
So since you've already 'got it', why you still haven't accept it?Originally posted by mamamamama:Oh great.. she told me last evening that her feelings for me are unlike in the past.. Yea she still loves me but yet she feels we lack the chemistry that couples have.. She feels i'm more like her brother.. just a brother whom she loves..
This explains why she changed so much since.. -
bro...cuz this world is made of BASTARDS wat..
bo bian ma...
i SUGESt U GIVE A STRONG FIGHT HERE...USE AFFECTION N UNDERSTANDING...
LOSE AS U MIGHT,SHOW THE GUY TAT UR NOT SOME WHIMP WHO ALLOWS UR LOVED ONES TO B SNATCH LIKE TAT...
WE SUPPORT U
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think it's time for u to have a nice long talk with her..i think u shd sort of compile a list of what u want to talk to her about..and clarify everything ur afraid about..
after that,break it off..my only advice to u..
not wanting to be bad or anything,but if u love her,u shd let her have her happiness..at least after that u can still be friends with her..