Can someone help me?
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Sometihing went really wrong between my gf and I and i dont really know why. It happened this week as she went overseas with her best friend. We promised each other that we'd message one another daily, just one msg a day. I sent heartwarming ones to her till thurs night when she return. However, her reply was rather curt to me. I know something went wrong, most probably family problems again. We used to talk to each other daily...without fail. so i left her alone and hopfully she will contact me the next morning. sdaly, she didnt.
We have been together for nearing two mths. And there's one occasion when she met up with some family arguement, she confided in me and i cheered her up and really did make her feel much better. However, this time round, she didnt tell me anything. I've sent messages to her asking what's happening and non of them had been replied. She didnt pick up my call and i havent talk to her for 3 days since her came back from overseas. I'm so worried what have gone wrong between us. I didnt do anything to upset her, all she told me is to let her be alone for a while.
Maybe I'm just selfish and longing for her after so long. But how long must she take? I'm clueless on what's happening around and what can a bf like me do at this point in time. I'm feeling very low and I have lots of random wild negative thoughts about possible happenings which often pain my heart. I was sent into the hospital early this week due to severe abdominal cramps as I worried too much. She knows about it and not a single bit of concern was shown(no reply, no call). Perhaps she's really down with her family problems. But then, why couldnt she share her burden with me. Doesnt she knows that there's always me out there, who's willing to provide a listening year and offer her with advices?
My numerous calls of around 4 to 5 and messages came unanswered and unreplied, I might think that im irritating her. Deep down, i feel so miserable. I went out as what my friend had told me but things just went back to same. Feeling so low and sad. I feel that our love isnt as strong as what it was during courtship and inital days together.
I would appreciate any advice from you guys..what should I do now? Stop whining, move on and treat nothing has happen and wait till she calls me? I dont know how much longer i can hold on till i go bonkers.. -
mayb sometime happened to her. give her the time to go thru, sort out her mind...
when she's ready she'll come back to solve everything...
PS: i said mayb. hopefully nt arh.
i oso xperienced dis b4. suddenly my gf wanted time off...i gave her all the time she needed n dat was like 1 mth...
wad happened i shan't go into it...but eventually she did come back to explain everything.... -
i c....i guesss this is what many of my friends tell me too. But giving her time off = me feeling like hell. Sch reopening, tmr will be the 2nd mth and wonder if she'd come to me and at least have a good time together. AFter all, first day of school is jsut simply having fun...sighh.
did u really give her 1mth? no contact or anything? how did you move on in life to make urself feel better? -
yeah...give her some time...maybe to let her know u are still around to love her...send her 1 msg everyday...to show that u are always there for her...most probably she is hitting a tough patch...so u have to be patient with her...
if u are really worried about her...why not look for your common friends...especially the girls...my guess is girls will often confide in girls...try to sound them out...see what is actually happening...
good luck dude... -
I've contacted one of her best friend school. No news yet but she even sent him a New Year greeting sms. What about me? I've sent her countless yet non of them came back to me...
Upon knowing this, my heart gave me a searing pain as if it had been ripped apart.
What's exactly was she thinking.... -
relax, the more u think about it, the worst it gets. chill. no point thinking about all the likely scenarios that will happen. it only gives u a bigger headache anyway. now, just let everything unravel itself. sounds stupid but it's better then intervening and spoiling everything. So good luck and happy new yearOriginally posted by lost_aeon:I've contacted one of her best friend school. No news yet but she even sent him a New Year greeting sms. What about me? I've sent her countless yet non of them came back to me...
Upon knowing this, my heart gave me a searing pain as if it had been ripped apart.
What's exactly was she thinking....
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I've called her. She picked up the phone and refuse to answer. And I was there, mumbling at one end, not knowing if there's any person out there.
I message her, and received another curt reply.
I guess im left with no choice, but to leave her alone. But then, my heart will yearn for her hours later. Things will unravel itself. But it gonna take days...sometimes, I just coudlnt help it. It hurts me esp when she doesnt reply to my smses but to her best frined in school.
Sometimes, why girls take their bfs for granted...she doesnt put her in my own shoes. If i were her, I wouldnt do such a thing....
Loving is such a misery. -
Originally posted by lost_aeon:
Love hurts.
I've called her. She picked up the phone and refuse to answer. And I was there, mumbling at one end, not knowing if there's any person out there.
I message her, and received another curt reply.
I guess im left with no choice, but to leave her alone. But then, my heart will yearn for her hours later. Things will unravel itself. But it gonna take days...sometimes, I just coudlnt help it. It hurts me esp when she doesnt reply to my smses but to her best frined in school.
Sometimes, why girls take their bfs for granted...she doesnt put her in my own shoes. If i were her, I wouldnt do such a thing....
Loving is such a misery. -
its fated.
when she wants to tell you, it will.. whether it be good or bad. the worse is in the end, you still end up clueless. but it happens. -
give her time.
u are now undergoing a period of time when one day, if she makes a decision, it may or may not be good to you.
brace yourselves. -
Should i take it as a sign that a break up is coming very soon?
Time passes so slowly...I wonder how am i going to go to school with this kinda emotional burden. Haiz... -
well..it maybe true, but you never know. Give her sometime, maybe send an sms and says that you will let her think whatever she wants and tell you what happens when she feels better..Originally posted by lost_aeon:Should i take it as a sign that a break up is coming very soon?
Time passes so slowly...I wonder how am i going to go to school with this kinda emotional burden. Haiz...
U and her only have been tog for short time only, so even if you be sad, not as bad as some other pp lah..cheer up...i m sure, things will turn out fine. If not, pick youself up and move on! cheers for 2006! -
sometimes, best friends understand each other more than boyfriends and girlfriends, especially during the early stages
give her some time to think. everyone needs time and space to think things through, organize their thoughts. from what i see, you seem to be rather posessive. perhaps im wrong, but you have to realize in a relation its always a give-and-take situation
she knows that you are there for her, and thats good enough. show her support, show that you are there for her. 1 or 2 msgs a day should be enough. dont irritate her with too many, especially since she said she wants some time off -
just take it as it is....pretend nothing has happened.
DUN PRESS HER FOR ANSWERS....just pretend nothing happened and continue with the relationship you all have as before, like see movies, coffee etc.
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you got a medical problem and can't even take care of yourself, what makes u so sure u can take care of her problem also?
get ur medical problem sort out first. -
Well she did call at last but then she refuses to tell me what had happen. Everything seem to her that nothing had actually happened. Sighh.
Regarding to apollo_sg, well, my medical problems is actually because of her. When you get so stress out over something, it actually induces gastric pain.
Anyway, I'm thankful for your advice. I just hope that such kinda situation will not happen.
Cheers. -
She's a girl. She is allowed to behave in weird, moody ways
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and even when we are 70 and grey, we will still not really understand.Originally posted by alexkusu:She's a girl. She is allowed to behave in weird, moody ways -
like the universal fact goes "Girls are weird".Originally posted by LazerLordz:and even when we are 70 and grey, we will still not really understand. -
she said she needed some time off...so i din ask hw long n din really follow up.Originally posted by lost_aeon:i c....i guesss this is what many of my friends tell me too. But giving her time off = me feeling like hell. Sch reopening, tmr will be the 2nd mth and wonder if she'd come to me and at least have a good time together. AFter all, first day of school is jsut simply having fun...sighh.
did u really give her 1mth? no contact or anything? how did you move on in life to make urself feel better?
every wk i'll juz sms her once n asked if she was ready to speak out.
hw i made my life better...hahz, during dat 1 mth i was in the army training... -
when she's ready, she will tell u on her own accord. wat i suggest is dun force it out frm her, it wun b gd to do it. if she pretend dat nth actually happened den go on wif things normally but when u come to quiet times like a stroll in the park or somewhere quiet, u might wan to bring it up lightly to her like askin so hw was the past wk or so (during dat period) instead of goin directly at her askin her, so wat happened during dat period. its juz the way u phrase it basicallly...hope dis helps..Originally posted by lost_aeon:Well she did call at last but then she refuses to tell me what had happen. Everything seem to her that nothing had actually happened. Sighh.
Regarding to apollo_sg, well, my medical problems is actually because of her. When you get so stress out over something, it actually induces gastric pain.
Anyway, I'm thankful for your advice. I just hope that such kinda situation will not happen.
Cheers. -
dun ask her when she's rdy to speak up...the weekly reminder will make her feel irritated.
din she tell u to leave her alone?
juz let her be.she might have her difficulties that she doesn't even feel like telling her loved ones. -
Originally posted by lost_aeon:
U mean you have both been together for a few months ?
Sometihing went really wrong between my gf and I and i dont really know why. It happened this week as she went overseas with her best friend. We promised each other that we'd message one another daily, just one msg a day. I sent heartwarming ones to her till thurs night when she return. However, her reply was rather curt to me. I know something went wrong, most probably family problems again. We used to talk to each other daily...without fail. so i left her alone and hopfully she will contact me the next morning. sdaly, she didnt.
We have been together for nearing two mths. And there's one occasion when she met up with some family arguement, she confided in me and i cheered her up and really did make her feel much better. However, this time round, she didnt tell me anything. I've sent messages to her asking what's happening and non of them had been replied. She didnt pick up my call and i havent talk to her for 3 days since her came back from overseas. I'm so worried what have gone wrong between us. I didnt do anything to upset her, all she told me is to let her be alone for a while.
Maybe I'm just selfish and longing for her after so long. But how long must she take? I'm clueless on what's happening around and what can a bf like me do at this point in time. I'm feeling very low and I have lots of random wild negative thoughts about possible happenings which often pain my heart. I was sent into the hospital early this week due to severe abdominal cramps as I worried too much. She knows about it and not a single bit of concern was shown(no reply, no call). Perhaps she's really down with her family problems. But then, why couldnt she share her burden with me. Doesnt she knows that there's always me out there, who's willing to provide a listening year and offer her with advices?
My numerous calls of around 4 to 5 and messages came unanswered and unreplied, I might think that im irritating her. Deep down, i feel so miserable. I went out as what my friend had told me but things just went back to same. Feeling so low and sad.[b] I feel that our love isnt as strong as what it was during courtship and inital days together.
I would appreciate any advice from you guys..what should I do now? Stop whining, move on and treat nothing has happen and wait till she calls me? I dont know how much longer i can hold on till i go bonkers..[/b]
Then the mistake is for you that, it is not long.
A beginning of the relationship for you is just short.
You might think its long, but its only the beginning.
Try to talk to her now and then.
What coming from her now seems to be she's confused or her heart has "died"
So its just up to you to decide whether to break up or to slavage. -
i think her heart is somehow "Dying". I couldnt feel the "warmth" from her. But I'll try to salvage it..but I'm not sure how to. Other than trying to relive the good times, showing care and concern..what should I do?
Maybe some will say, if it's meant to be mine, it will be. If not, letting go might just be better. I just want to keep it as long as possible...haiz. I fel so troubled. -
so you would rather a long rltnshp that is not enriching for the both of u? dont lead each other on.. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.Originally posted by lost_aeon:i think her heart is somehow "Dying". I couldnt feel the "warmth" from her. But I'll try to salvage it..but I'm not sure how to. Other than trying to relive the good times, showing care and concern..what should I do?
Maybe some will say, if it's meant to be mine, it will be. If not, letting go might just be better. I just want to keep it as long as possible...haiz. I fel so troubled.