Can someone help me?
-
sinicker's rightOriginally posted by lost_aeon:i think her heart is somehow "Dying". I couldnt feel the "warmth" from her. But I'll try to salvage it..but I'm not sure how to. Other than trying to relive the good times, showing care and concern..what should I do?
Maybe some will say, if it's meant to be mine, it will be. If not, letting go might just be better. I just want to keep it as long as possible...haiz. I fel so troubled.
What meant to be your it will be.
Just get a talking chance with her now,
This will decide whether you would have to give up.
Good luck man.
A girl who doesn't gives you warmth shows that she might be toyinh with u only. -
of course we cannot really understand gals la...
get this clear ba...they are gals...we are guys...
unless u undergo a operation and take female hormones pills and experience their period then u will truly understand...get it??
so back to the understanding part...
we don't need to understand what a gal feels...
we just need to make her have interest in us...and keep and entertained, and feel secured...thats all that we have to do...
we are not god...we cannot understand everything de...ok?
think simple...sometimes its good to think simple...Originally posted by LazerLordz:and even when we are 70 and grey, we will still not really understand. -
Sekundes, u're right too.
Weijian, true, maybe sometimes, we just need to think simple.
I just hope that everything will go well and not another thread about me breaking up. hahaz... -
Tk it ez pal.. If the worst comes, time will heal yr pain.
-
I feel like having a hearttalk of what i feel about this whole thing to her, will it actually mess things up?
-
Dont bother, when a woman had a change of heart.. nothing can bring her back.Originally posted by lost_aeon:I feel like having a hearttalk of what i feel about this whole thing to her, will it actually mess things up? -
really? how true is it? sighhOriginally posted by Wolfwoof^^:Dont bother, when a woman had a change of heart.. nothing can bring her back. -
good luck pal
-
Simmer down or your might just burn the both of ya...Originally posted by lost_aeon:I've called her. She picked up the phone and refuse to answer. And I was there, mumbling at one end, not knowing if there's any person out there.
I message her, and received another curt reply.
I guess im left with no choice, but to leave her alone. But then, my heart will yearn for her hours later. Things will unravel itself. But it gonna take days...sometimes, I just coudlnt help it. It hurts me esp when she doesnt reply to my smses but to her best frined in school.
Sometimes, why girls take their bfs for granted...she doesnt put her in my own shoes. If i were her, I wouldnt do such a thing....
Loving is such a misery.
Keeping yourself occupied is an important part of a relationship too. Shouldn't always harbour yourself with negative thoughts, it's certainly not healthy. How old are you?Originally posted by lost_aeon:Should i take it as a sign that a break up is coming very soon?
Time passes so slowly...I wonder how am i going to go to school with this kinda emotional burden. Haiz...
Somehow I feel you're THINKING TOO MUCH and YET not on the POINT.Originally posted by lost_aeon:i think her heart is somehow "Dying". I couldnt feel the "warmth" from her. But I'll try to salvage it..but I'm not sure how to. Other than trying to relive the good times, showing care and concern..what should I do?
Maybe some will say, if it's meant to be mine, it will be. If not, letting go might just be better. I just want to keep it as long as possible...haiz. I fel so troubled.
So you wanna GIVE UP or you wanna HELP HER?
Do NOT PUSH her. May it be that she's having problems of her own or not... There isn't such thing as "you MUST let me HELP you".... You could in fact not be helping but causing her more headaches.. Do you really love her? Have you thought of that before? Do you really care about how she feels? Or just how you're feeling right now?
The least you could 'help' now is not to give her further headaches... -
I'll listen to your advice. Thanks. It really did allow me to think logically now. =)Originally posted by Devil1976:Somehow I feel you're THINKING TOO MUCH and YET not on the POINT.
So you wanna GIVE UP or you wanna HELP HER?
Do NOT PUSH her. May it be that she's having problems of her own or not... There isn't such thing as "you MUST let me HELP you".... You could in fact not be helping but causing her more headaches.. Do you really love her? Have you thought of that before? Do you really care about how she feels? Or just how you're feeling right now?
The least you could 'help' now is not to give her further headaches... -
Guys..please help. I had talked to my gf about her coldness towards me. She said that she's suffering from some sort of "withdrawal" symptom as she told me it's some problem of hers as she just couldnt stick to a guy for so long. She even mentioned that she managed to overcome this problem for her previous relationship and things went well after that.
Right now, she's at this problem again and I feel that smth is missing in my life. I lacked her love, care and concern.
I dont know what to do now cept giving her time and sending messages to her like not more than 3 a day and also talk to her at night where she will just rant about the day. Love is missing. I still love her alot, but i dont know if she still love me.
Please help! What should i do now? Occupying myself with homework is only a temporary solution and i get's really down and upset when i lie on the bed, trying to fall asleep. -
hey dude i tell u something, she is jus BS!! She's giving u some excuses and later on when the cold war starts she will dump u like a thrash. SO ddon give a shiT!
-
what's BS? so u mean i shld just dump her and brood for a few weeks and let go?
what's about other's opinion? -
Aiya , girls very mah fan 1 .
Relax dude ! You need to be very strong to take this gf. If you are weak, its better to break up .. It is juz the beginning only ..
Instead what you muz do is , message her every 3 days then forget about her the rest of the time.
Do what you suppose to do. You are a man. When you do your things well , trust me she will appreciate u better. Even if she dun, some1 will.
If you cannot accomplished anything now, not even she will not come back, u r not attractive to other girls also.
Continue your work , do what you enjoy to do.
Girls like man to know what they wants and give them without telling . She obviously need sometime alone. So leave her alone !!! She will come back if she still likes you regardless , if not, no point waiting at all ! -
so what should i exactly do now? I've absolutely no idea about what she's thinking. Oh ya, she's stress with her homework and she placed it in a way high up piority than me.
I thought girls are good in caring... -
they are... but u shd give her a break.. if she wants, she will come n talk to u..it takes 2 to clap...Originally posted by lost_aeon:so what should i exactly do now? I've absolutely no idea about what she's thinking. Oh ya, she's stress with her homework and she placed it in a way high up piority than me. I thought girls are good in caring...
besides.. i noe of frens that are willing to dump their bf jusst cuz their results are weakening compared to nt have a bf -
if she said that, then it means she is definately confused about this relationship
just give her time, if you love her, then let her have the time, but in the same time, try to forget her...your love for her is too much...too much of one sided love can spells disaster sometimes...when she has cleared her own air of confuseness...then if she feels that she still likes you...then she will come back to you...
when it does, she will love you more compared to you loving her more...til then..just forget her if you can...you are at the edge of the cliff...she is at the bottom of the cliff...one wrong move from you...your gone...she needs time to climb up the cliff to the top...whereas you need time to cool off, forget about her...and come down to the top of the cliff..if she can climb up, then it will work...
at the same time, give other gals a chance too...
bcoz, for you to forget her, is hard so it will take a long time...which on her side..she can slowly figure out her love for you if it has decrease or increase..
if she is yours, there's no running away from her even if you were to go into hiding...if she isn't yours..no matter what you do, camping waiting at her unit or block also will not help..Originally posted by lost_aeon:Guys..please help. I had talked to my gf about her coldness towards me. She said that she's suffering from some sort of "withdrawal" symptom as she told me it's some problem of hers as she just couldnt stick to a guy for so long. She even mentioned that she managed to overcome this problem for her previous relationship and things went well after that.
Right now, she's at this problem again and I feel that smth is missing in my life. I lacked her love, care and concern.
I dont know what to do now cept giving her time and sending messages to her like not more than 3 a day and also talk to her at night where she will just rant about the day. Love is missing. I still love her alot, but i dont know if she still love me.
Please help! What should i do now? Occupying myself with homework is only a temporary solution and i get's really down and upset when i lie on the bed, trying to fall asleep. -
Ahem.. Do you have more constructive advice than just throwing an insensitive remark like that...?Originally posted by FBI:hey dude i tell u something, she is jus BS!! She's giving u some excuses and later on when the cold war starts she will dump u like a thrash. SO ddon give a shiT!
-
You love her a lot doesn't guarantee she will also feel the same way. Maybe she is already feeling bored with the r/s, maybe she wants to focus more on her studies etc.Originally posted by lost_aeon:Guys..please help. I had talked to my gf about her coldness towards me. She said that she's suffering from some sort of "withdrawal" symptom as she told me it's some problem of hers as she just couldnt stick to a guy for so long. She even mentioned that she managed to overcome this problem for her previous relationship and things went well after that.
Right now, she's at this problem again and I feel that smth is missing in my life. I lacked her love, care and concern.
I dont know what to do now cept giving her time and sending messages to her like not more than 3 a day and also talk to her at night where she will just rant about the day. Love is missing. I still love her alot, but i dont know if she still love me.
Please help! What should i do now? Occupying myself with homework is only a temporary solution and i get's really down and upset when i lie on the bed, trying to fall asleep.
You can't force her to be with you all the time. If she says she places more priority on her school work, that's her right. And might be good thinking too, since both of you are still young, and if she doesnt pay attention to her studies but instead dedicate all her time to the r/s, do you want her to fail her courses because of you?
The more you love someone, the more you shouldn't hold him/her too tightly. Give them some space to breathe. It is like holding sands in your hand, clutch it tightly and it will slip thru your fingers, hold it loosely and most of them will stay.
So right now, give her some time to think this over. If she wants to break up with you, there is nothing much you can do to stop it. And the more you cling to her, the more irritated she will feel and she will start to label you as needy. And girls have enough on their hands to bother with needy guys seeking their attention all the time when all they want is just some space and time to think things over.
Good luck
-
she is stressed out about her hw and you shud encourage her on her studies instead of putting more pressure on her about the state of the r/s. Lend your support to her during this time...Originally posted by lost_aeon:so what should i exactly do now? I've absolutely no idea about what she's thinking. Oh ya, she's stress with her homework and she placed it in a way high up piority than me. I thought girls are good in caring... -
Try to find out more from her about how the last relationship went and possible reasons as to how the 'withdrawal' could be 'overcomed'... Personally, I believe it's more of a belief / mentality block that she's holding to now...Originally posted by lost_aeon:Guys..please help. I had talked to my gf about her coldness towards me. She said that she's suffering from some sort of "withdrawal" symptom as she told me it's some problem of hers as she just couldnt stick to a guy for so long. She even mentioned that she managed to overcome this problem for her previous relationship and things went well after that.
Right now, she's at this problem again and I feel that smth is missing in my life. I lacked her love, care and concern.
I dont know what to do now cept giving her time and sending messages to her like not more than 3 a day and also talk to her at night where she will just rant about the day. Love is missing. I still love her alot, but i dont know if she still love me.
Please help! What should i do now? Occupying myself with homework is only a temporary solution and i get's really down and upset when i lie on the bed, trying to fall asleep.
Try to find out also, have she been having this 'withdrawal' in this relationship from the start of the relationship or is it just recently... NOTICE also how long she takes to answer this question of yours (whether she takes long time to think of the answer...)
Sorry to tell you, but if you really decide to stay with her.. I suppose it won't be such an easy battle. Both of you have worn down and there would hardly be any warrior standing to 'fight'. But you should decide to carry on with the battle on your own for now, you'll have to understand that any possible love and care from her probably won't be coming from these hours... Perhaps only during the later stages when things have more or less been overcomed or has already settled down. If you start to doubt if she loves you then I'm sorry to tell you, it's very likely that love is already starting to diminish.. Not because of her, but solely on your part alone is sufficient to dissolve it...
For now it's really TLC... Try not to make 'demands' of her for now as it'll only stress her and make the relationship suffer even further... Unless you don't really have intention to keep the relationship, then I'll rather advise you to end it for now than to stress her further.. Answer to my questions and provide me with more information... I'll try to guide you along...?
Interestingly enough... Read the last paragraph in the 1st quoted part and perhaps you might get a better understanding of how she might be feeling...?Originally posted by lost_aeon:so what should i exactly do now? I've absolutely no idea about what she's thinking. Oh ya, she's stress with her homework and she placed it in a way high up piority than me. I thought girls are good in caring...
From the way I see it, both of you could be waiting for 'TLC' from each other... That's no way to row a boat.... -
i believe that's wat she is thinking and i don want him to make any mistakes annymore and in the end found out that he has been cheated on when more feellings are put inside this relationship. By that time he will really have of 40 kind of sadnessOriginally posted by Devil1976:Ahem.. Do you have more constructive advice than just throwing an insensitive remark like that...? -
I havent had the chance to talk to her these days. Even my message came unreplied. Well, basically is just that she needs to have some time to sort out her thoughts. Not too long and not too short as mentioned by her, just like a mth or so (gosh..that's like so long to me) and I feel like asking her how can i helped so as to accelerate the process and perhaps tell her how i feel. Yet I'm not sure if i'll screw things up if i do so.Originally posted by Devil1976:Try to find out more from her about how the last relationship went and possible reasons as to how the 'withdrawal' could be 'overcomed'... Personally, I believe it's more of a belief / mentality block that she's holding to now...
Try to find out also, have she been having this 'withdrawal' in this relationship from the start of the relationship or is it just recently... NOTICE also how long she takes to answer this question of yours (whether she takes long time to think of the answer...)
And regarding about this 'withdrawal', she told me honestly few days ago and hope that i can understand and it just happenned since starting of the new year.
Tender loving care, how am I able to shower her with it when she's keeping a distance away from me. There's this invisible barrier between us. I really do feel like telling her how i feel right now, so that she can be aware. And just to add on, during our previous conversation, she told me that she's serious and she said that she didnt say she still doesnt like me so I've got nothing to worry about. And I wonder, if she's serious, why bother to go thru this sort of crap.
I dont know how to find peace in my mind. Hwk are just temporary solutions. The harsh truth always haunts me whenever I'm alone, whenever I see the things around me which are related to her.
I dont want to be a wimp, yet I cant get much strength to take this whole thing like a man. -
Originally posted by FBI:
Well.. That is just what you think based on...? What...?
i believe that's wat she is thinking and i don want him to make any mistakes annymore and in the end found out that he has been cheated on when more feellings are put inside this relationship. By that time he will really have of [b]40 kind of sadness[/b]
Of course it's easy to say such a thing because she ain't your gf and you're not the one in the relationship... Even if it's a mistake by any CHANCE, pain would already be inevitable... But not jump to such a conclusion based on nothing? Have you thought about how he COULD BE HURTING HER if she really isn't what ya described her to be...
-
Originally posted by FBI:
Besides... What you SIMPLY 'BELIEVE' doesn't imply anything about what she might be thinking....
i believe that's wat she is thinking and i don want him to make any mistakes annymore and in the end found out that he has been cheated on when more feellings are put inside this relationship. By that time he will really have of [b]40 kind of sadness[/b]