Can someone help me?
-
'Strength' is much helpless and useless in this context.. Heard of this saying about the 'general who doesn't get his chance at a battle'? You're about it...Originally posted by lost_aeon:I havent had the chance to talk to her these days. Even my message came unreplied. Well, basically is just that she needs to have some time to sort out her thoughts. Not too long and not too short as mentioned by her, just like a mth or so (gosh..that's like so long to me) and I feel like asking her how can i helped so as to accelerate the process and perhaps tell her how i feel. Yet I'm not sure if i'll screw things up if i do so.
And regarding about this 'withdrawal', she told me honestly few days ago and hope that i can understand and it just happenned since starting of the new year.
Tender loving care, how am I able to shower her with it when she's keeping a distance away from me. There's this invisible barrier between us. I really do feel like telling her how i feel right now, so that she can be aware. And just to add on, during our previous conversation, she told me that she's serious and she said that she didnt say she still doesnt like me so I've got nothing to worry about. And I wonder, if she's serious, why bother to go thru this sort of crap.
I dont know how to find peace in my mind. Hwk are just temporary solutions. The harsh truth always haunts me whenever I'm alone, whenever I see the things around me which are related to her.
I dont want to be a wimp, yet I cant get much strength to take this whole thing like a man.
What's her star sign?
Things certainly don't look good for you... It seems quite very unlikely that she'll be able to walk out of this alone... And even if she decides to come back for you on her own in the end, things probably won't be quite that good for the future...
Chances are she's already under much pressure like yourself. Last thing should be either of you building up the pressure for the other party. From her side, there's little helping it... I reckon nobody much is really there to give her good proper advices... From your side, I hope you can see a clearer and better picture?
You need to reach 'messages' to her but not through force. Not through constant pressuring. Examples of ways to do it would be to simply drop a message ideally with something which might touch her. Either through something you're doing for her or something you've both done previously during the earlier stage of your relationship. Ideally something romantic or memorable. It's an assurance and reminder of the good time. Hopefully one of the best ones? Remember to just choose one for now.. Overdoing it would only put her through much pressure... The most ideal situation is to be there in person when she receive the 'message'... Could be a note or letter or card which you would need her to read through in front of you... See how she reacts and act accordingly...
Seems like she could be having too much emotional baggages... Must assure her that you genuinely wish to help her. No pressure. No obligation of any sort. Show her your willingness to fight through this with her... And assure her that it's ok even if things don't turn out fine... At least she gives you the chance and you've both tried...
Show through a gesture like giving your hand for her to hold, a hug or a dearing kiss... But note that you initiate the 1st part (offer) and she has to complete (accept) it.... Such a gesture cannot be forced.. It's a symbol of her willingness to embrace in you and the relationship and give things a try... And hopefully you shall be given the CHANCE to bring all these further... But BE WARNED that it should be a VERY DIFFICULT BATTLE AHEAD after that and not the end of things.... Only do what I've suggested for you're TRULY DEVOTED and READY...
Otherwise it'll be wiser to bid her well and say goodbye... -
Thanks for your advice.Originally posted by Devil1976:'Strength' is much helpless and useless in this context.. Heard of this saying about the 'general who doesn't get his chance at a battle'? You're about it...
What's her star sign?
Things certainly don't look good for you... It seems quite very unlikely that she'll be able to walk out of this alone... And even if she decides to come back for you on her own in the end, things probably won't be quite that good for the future...
Chances are she's already under much pressure like yourself. Last thing should be either of you building up the pressure for the other party. From her side, there's little helping it... I reckon nobody much is really there to give her good proper advices... From your side, I hope you can see a clearer and better picture?
You need to reach 'messages' to her but not through force. Not through constant pressuring. Examples of ways to do it would be to simply drop a message ideally with something which might touch her. Either through something you're doing for her or something you've both done previously during the earlier stage of your relationship. Ideally something romantic or memorable. It's an assurance and reminder of the good time. Hopefully one of the best ones? Remember to just choose one for now.. Overdoing it would only put her through much pressure... The most ideal situation is to be there in person when she receive the 'message'... Could be a note or letter or card which you would need her to read through in front of you... See how she reacts and act accordingly...
Seems like she could be having too much emotional baggages... Must assure her that you genuinely wish to help her. No pressure. No obligation of any sort. Show her your willingness to fight through this with her... And assure her that it's ok even if things don't turn out fine... At least she gives you the chance and you've both tried...
Show through a gesture like giving your hand for her to hold, a hug or a dearing kiss... But note that you initiate the 1st part (offer) and she has to complete (accept) it.... Such a gesture cannot be forced.. It's a symbol of her willingness to embrace in you and the relationship and give things a try... And hopefully you shall be given the CHANCE to bring all these further... But BE WARNED that it should be a VERY DIFFICULT BATTLE AHEAD after that and not the end of things.... Only do what I've suggested for you're TRULY DEVOTED and READY...
Otherwise it'll be wiser to bid her well and say goodbye...
She's a scorpio and I'm a Libra.
Based on what you've stated earlier like mentioning about the good times and smth to remind her of the wonderful period we shared. I had actually done part of it and did mention to her and talk about the past. She frankly told me thru the phone that she's the kind of person who doesnt dwell on the past but always looking forward to the future.
Right now, I just wish to tell her how much I wish to help her later tonight when we talk thru' the phone. Yet I wonder if things will or will not turn out right.
she's the only one who can solve my problems. yet im trying to keep myself positive about everything. Knowing that she doesnt even reply to my msg i sent hours ago and another one which i sent last night. It really does bothers me if I still have a place in her heart. I just dont want to do anything silly that might irritate her or aggravate the situation. -
Scorpio!?Originally posted by lost_aeon:Thanks for your advice.
She's a scorpio and I'm a Libra.
Based on what you've stated earlier like mentioning about the good times and smth to remind her of the wonderful period we shared. I had actually done part of it and did mention to her and talk about the past. She frankly told me thru the phone that she's the kind of person who doesnt dwell on the past but always looking forward to the future.
Right now, I just wish to tell her how much I wish to help her later tonight when we talk thru' the phone. Yet I wonder if things will or will not turn out right.
she's the only one who can solve my problems. yet im trying to keep myself positive about everything. Knowing that she doesnt even reply to my msg i sent hours ago and another one which i sent last night. It really does bothers me if I still have a place in her heart. I just dont want to do anything silly that might irritate her or aggravate the situation.
Most secretive sign among zodiac.
Cheers -
She is stressed or more like calm?Originally posted by lost_aeon:Thanks for your advice.
She's a scorpio and I'm a Libra.
Based on what you've stated earlier like mentioning about the good times and smth to remind her of the wonderful period we shared. I had actually done part of it and did mention to her and talk about the past. She frankly told me thru the phone that she's the kind of person who doesnt dwell on the past but always looking forward to the future.
Right now, I just wish to tell her how much I wish to help her later tonight when we talk thru' the phone. Yet I wonder if things will or will not turn out right.
she's the only one who can solve my problems. yet im trying to keep myself positive about everything. Knowing that she doesnt even reply to my msg i sent hours ago and another one which i sent last night. It really does bothers me if I still have a place in her heart. I just dont want to do anything silly that might irritate her or aggravate the situation.
Main problem for you. She's quite a deep believer in herself and probably at this point, she doesn't quite believe that things can carry on fine... How old are the both of ya?
You're more of an 'artist' than a 'talker'. A gentle guy in a sense? Besides... She probably won't buy 'talks' and think that words are cheap.. If you wish to touch her, it'll probably be through lots of PERSISTENT ACTIONS... SINCERE ONES.. EACH NICELY DONE so that they're not overdone yet yield excellent results... Yes, quite very difficult thing but you should very well know by now that she isn't an easy girl to please....
The future... Have you offended her in any way? I hope not because that's a BIG 'no no' to start off with.. But I suppose you haven't...
The 'future' I propose, could be about something in you... Some ways which you do things, she doesn't quite like it...? Been irritating her for quite some time...? No commitment? No 'stability' in you...?
So how was the 'talk' last night? My personal guess would be either it doesn't turn out well or it's just quite abruptly ended?
One thing I sense that she might not like about you... You're too oversensitive and perhaps could have been too blunt in your words to have offended her somehow...? You rely much on her, yet the way you're trying to shorten the distance between you and her is like pulling up something upfront to her... Which she doesn't really wish to face... Yes... There's something about you which she might not have really told you about... Don't think too negatively now if you still wish to revive things.. It's not healthy that way.. Accept things with an OPEN MIND...
Things are really getting much more complicated here.. ALOT I SENSE... You've not explained to me in words...? -
Bro i think is time i step in.Originally posted by lost_aeon:Thanks for your advice.
She's a scorpio and I'm a Libra.
Based on what you've stated earlier like mentioning about the good times and smth to remind her of the wonderful period we shared. I had actually done part of it and did mention to her and talk about the past. She frankly told me thru the phone that she's the kind of person who doesnt dwell on the past but always looking forward to the future.
Right now, I just wish to tell her how much I wish to help her later tonight when we talk thru' the phone. Yet I wonder if things will or will not turn out right.
she's the only one who can solve my problems. yet im trying to keep myself positive about everything. Knowing that she doesnt even reply to my msg i sent hours ago and another one which i sent last night. It really does bothers me if I still have a place in her heart. I just dont want to do anything silly that might irritate her or aggravate the situation.
I have seen what you have posted and understand your problem.
your problem lies with yourself not her. Stop asking her to change to suit you.
Go back to your posting and read carefully. Is all about you what you want your gf to do for you and she is expected to call you and sms asap when you want her to.
Wake up bro. look at what you have become. Your whole life is around her and you no longer are yourself anymore.
True love lies in giving as much as possible and not asking for anything in return. Stop asking her and calling her and ask yourself what you did for her?
Have you ever thought of it honestly? If she wants to break with you is her choice you cannot force her to come back to you. To love someone is to respect her decision.
The real reason for her not to call or sms you is because you are very "fan". I can even feel the heat from here and she is holding the string so tight that is only time that it will break.
Honestly what can you offer her? -
Somehow you hit the nail on the head?Originally posted by drx:Bro i think is time i step in.
I have seen what you have posted and understand your problem.
your problem lies with yourself not her. Stop asking her to change to suit you.
Go back to your posting and read carefully. Is all about you what you want your gf to do for you and she is expected to call you and sms asap when you want her to.
Wake up bro. look at what you have become. Your whole life is around her and you no longer are yourself anymore.
True love lies in giving as much as possible and not asking for anything in return. Stop asking her and calling her and ask yourself what you did for her?
Have you ever thought of it honestly? If she wants to break with you is her choice you cannot force her to come back to you. To love someone is to respect her decision.
The real reason for her not to call or sms you is because you are very "fan". I can even feel the heat from here and she is holding the string so tight that is only time that it will break.
Honestly what can you offer her? -
But perhaps the wrong way....Originally posted by Sekundes:Somehow you hit the nail on the head? -
Hey guys,
thanks for your reply.
Things went well last night and I've reviewed my doings and actually find that myself, to a certain, didnt really understand her situation facing all the workloads as both of us come from different colleges. We did talk and joke about our daily happenings as usual and I had actually forgotten what i've planned to tell her earlier.
To Devil1976:
Both of us were calm as usual and both of us just past our 17 b'day last year. So I guess you should know that this year is an important year for us aye? =)
ya, perhaps you're right thru' the persistent actions.
Ah well, the talk yesterday just ended as usual, a plain simple goodbye and goodnight. Wasnt like last time, the way we used to hold on to the phone, tellinh sweet nothings to the one on the opposite end. Of course, this happened when her "withdrawal symptom" comes in. And this actually somehow affected me.
I know things are getting complicated. It's really hard to know what she's thinking and I'm just clueless about it.
Just on a brief summary:
-she's not as warm to me as last time
-i gave her space but she's unaware of my feelings
-i dont know what to do to get her back
To drx:
I agree to a certain extent.
The problem is not totally lies with me, I'm the same as before, the way I express myself in front of her. Just she changed for no apparent reasons and my usual doings had seemed to bring back negative results.
Yes, I might be fan, but does that means that having ONE message sent a day and ONE missed call a day is consider as fan? I did it so as to keep her reminded that I'm still there and havent yet forgotten about her. Even my messages sent arent heartwarming as before as the day goes by.
What i can offer her? I can offer her care, concern, and love of course. There's Many many more...
If break up occurs, I wonder how can i take it gracefully like a man. -
In short, girls get tired of relationship and I believe she's experincing it.
-
Originally posted by lost_aeon:In short, girls get tired of relationship and I believe she's experincing it.
Girls? -
Your reply quoted in blue. Then why still send her sms? Have you thought, instead of giving her encouragements... You're actually giving her discouragements..? So all in all, won't you suppose you're also indirectly responsible for things....?Originally posted by lost_aeon:Hey guys,
thanks for your reply.
Things went well last night and I've reviewed my doings and actually find that myself, to a certain, didnt really understand her situation facing all the workloads as both of us come from different colleges. We did talk and joke about our daily happenings as usual and I had actually forgotten what i've planned to tell her earlier.
To Devil1976:
Both of us were calm as usual and both of us just past our 17 b'day last year. So I guess you should know that this year is an important year for us aye? =)
ya, perhaps you're right thru' the persistent actions.
Ah well, the talk yesterday just ended as usual, a plain simple goodbye and goodnight. Wasnt like last time, the way we used to hold on to the phone, tellinh sweet nothings to the one on the opposite end. Of course, this happened when her "withdrawal symptom" comes in. And this actually somehow affected me.
I know things are getting complicated. It's really hard to know what she's thinking and I'm just clueless about it.
Just on a brief summary:
-she's not as warm to me as last time
-i gave her space but she's unaware of my feelings
-i dont know what to do to get her back
To drx:
I agree to a certain extent.
The problem is not totally lies with me, I'm the same as before, the way I express myself in front of her. Just she changed for no apparent reasons and my usual doings had seemed to bring back negative results.
Yes, I might be fan, but does that means that having ONE message sent a day and ONE missed call a day is consider as fan? I did it so as to keep her reminded that I'm still there and havent yet forgotten about her. Even my messages sent arent heartwarming as before as the day goes by.
What i can offer her? I can offer her care, concern, and love of course. There's Many many more...
If break up occurs, I wonder how can i take it gracefully like a man.
She's one who weigh quite alot on her studies and future. And perhaps at this point she really just wanna FOCUS on her STUDIES.Originally posted by lost_aeon:In short, girls get tired of relationship and I believe she's experincing it.
From this point, I suppose there would be little I wish to add. If there's really anything I need to say, it has already been said. You're confused. You think too much but on the wrong things. Perhaps as time goes on, she just realise this 'incompatibility'? She should be one of much tolerance for the other because of love. But facts are facts and cannot be placed away everything. One day, you'll still have to face it.