should I or should I not?
-
Well, ur source of agony is "a guessing game" from the context u put. Dat's is why we are looking at the source. Solving immediate problems is just temporary...
About that phone call, i'm not sure what to advice u on, maybe the others would have? -
haha it's nv easy to confess la. wat me and my crush/love/bla bla did was he told me on MSN, and I said i also feel the same way. It may seem like the guy always has to confess, but if u don't tell him, u will nv be able to let go n stuff. n if u guys r close, even if he don't agree, u still can go on to be frenz. like me n my best fren. i used to think i like him, then one day he sent me this crushcalculator thing n i wrote i liked him, and they sent it to him! haha then he knew. but he told me he was gay haha then i obviousy lost interest. but until now we are still best of frenz...
my point is it's totally alright haha it's not as hard as u imagine it to be. just say can liao. u'll noe wat to do when the situation arises. -
haha so is he really gay?Originally posted by theoneguru:haha it's nv easy to confess la. wat me and my crush/love/bla bla did was he told me on MSN, and I said i also feel the same way. It may seem like the guy always has to confess, but if u don't tell him, u will nv be able to let go n stuff. n if u guys r close, even if he don't agree, u still can go on to be frenz. like me n my best fren. i used to think i like him, then one day he sent me this crushcalculator thing n i wrote i liked him, and they sent it to him! haha then he knew. but he told me he was gay haha then i obviousy lost interest. but until now we are still best of frenz...
my point is it's totally alright haha it's not as hard as u imagine it to be. just say can liao. u'll noe wat to do when the situation arises. -
Hello.
May I offer an opinion?
I think u better don't tell him that u like him. Don't.
When you do that, you are fast-forwarding a process, skipping a process essential to your success in having a relationship with him.
I think it's better that you spend more time trying to make both of you closer and closer first......until such time when you don't feel uneasy or doubtful to say you like/ love him. Or from him to you.
I hope you understand what I mean.
For now it's better not to tell him. Otherwise, yeah, it will be like a gamble, and it will throw both of you off balance because the change is too sudden.
I think when u say u wanted to tell him u like him, you want to be more active. You want to turn the relationship into a romantic/ dating one. But better not say it out loud, better just by doing more approach first, like asking him out one-on-one. Call him, chit chat. Show attention. That kinda thing first. Shift gear from a platonic friend to a wooer. He will subtly notice. Then later see how. If he warm up, u can continue, and then reach a point where u can formalize the relationship. If he's cold, then maybe he really wants you as a friend or sister instead. By doing this I think it's much better than outright saying it out at the beginning.
-
Understand how it's like to be in this.............mine didn't turn out good. So I never tried againOriginally posted by Happy22:what if he avoids me? Then it will be so awkward.. and we know each other so long already.. very sad if we cannot continue to be friends just because I have a liking for him.
But i will still advise you to try, who knows everything will work out well for you. GOOD LUCK & ALL THE BEST in ur quest for LOVE
-
Hmm, I used to have this same problem? I have liked this guy more than a year before I could bring myself to confess to him. Before that, it was pure nightmare. I kept second guessing his motives everytime he did something as innocent as to message me suddenly and asking me out, and everytime he did something for me, I would ask myself,"Does this mean he loves me?"Originally posted by Happy22:I have a liking for a friend for some time already. I only confirmed my feelings for him when I felt my heart beating very fast when he was sitting beside me and I was looking forward to meet him everytime.
Now I am contemplating whether to let him know or not.. past hurt in relationships is holding me back from taking a step forward. As much as I wanted to move on, I still fear.. fear of being hurt again. Actually I also do not dare to expect anything from him. But I just feel so silly that I am feeling happy over the little things that happened and yet it is all one sided.
I guess he look upon me like a little sister. I never thought that I will feel this way for him but it just happened. What should I do?
So I see my confession to him as a closure. I told myself that if the response is positive, then we will move on to become a couple. If not, then at least I know the answer and I will never ask myself the "what if" question again.
He told me that he only sees me as a friend, a very close one. Even though we can spend hours just talking to each other, but he says he feels comfortable with me, but he has no feelings towards me. So we agree to remain friends, and until this day, the friendship is still intact
So, I think it would be good for you to confess to him how you feel. Because you will not have any regret even if it ended in rejection. And if you worry about risking the friendship, I believe that a strong friendship can withstand this kinda test.
What happened to me after the rejection? Yes, I was hurt but after a while, I can see that maybe Life has something else in store for me, and I moved on. If not because of the rejection, I would not have met my ai ai today
Good luck
-
whatever happened to subtle flirtation? sheesh.
flirt lah and get him to see you as a possible girlfriend and not just a small girl, instead of blurting out your feelings when you don't even know if he likes you. -
don give a shit to him!! if a guy likes u he will take initiative, not u!!!
-
Some guys are just so thick-skulled that they don't get whatever signs that you send outOriginally posted by theSquelch:whatever happened to subtle flirtation? sheesh.
flirt lah and get him to see you as a possible girlfriend and not just a small girl, instead of blurting out your feelings when you don't even know if he likes you.
-
have to wait until when?Originally posted by FBI:don give a shit to him!! if a guy likes u he will take initiative, not u!!!
I guess if she wants to continue torturing herself with mind games, then she can continue to wait
If not, girls must realize that there are times when they can take their own initiative and pop the question too -
girls taking initiative at first isn't a prob, but after that the rest of the job should let the guys do it. THat's wat i think
-
Yea, but thing is she is asking about the initiative itself, whether she shud do it or not.Originally posted by FBI:girls taking initiative at first isn't a prob, but after that the rest of the job should let the guys do it. THat's wat i think -
i think u should drop some hints and that's enough. If he still doesn't know or mayb u don like u then forget it. He will jus gonna regret if other guy get to know u.
-
erm, not a good suggestion cos like i have mentioned earlier, some guys just dun get itOriginally posted by FBI:i think u should drop some hints and that's enough. If he still doesn't know or mayb u don like u then forget it. He will jus gonna regret if other guy get to know u. -
if a guy doesn't get the obvious hints, the girl shouldn't fool herself.
he is not interested. -
why give hints when can just tell the truth? Cos in the end, both will cause the guy to know her intention oso rite?Originally posted by theSquelch:if a guy doesn't get the obvious hints, the girl shouldn't fool herself.
he is not interested. -
ya guys not stupid wat.. they are jus pretending not to know and that means not interested at alL!!
-
I think he received my signal and I got his subtle hint that we can only be friends.
Thank you all for the precious comments.
I guess I should give up.
-
u think only, but u didnt ask him, ask liao then at least next time when u think back, you wouldn't have regret not confessing now...
if he hints to u that only can be friends, then be it...
maybe he didnt know u quite well as a fren yet...if both of u are the hi bye type then get to know each other more...then things will work from there...Originally posted by Happy22:I think he received my signal and I got his subtle hint that we can only be friends.
Thank you all for the precious comments.
I guess I should give up. -
No point in still staying in doubt here.... A direct question would be more appropiate...
Even if you keep hinting, you still have to guess his reaction to your hints which in the first place he may not have caught it at all.... so your are not only trying to guess his reaction, your are also trying to guess whether he caught it or not...
no point leting it bother you all the time you see... it's either you like him and he likes you, or you like him bt he doesnt feels the same as you do....
nevertheless, i think you should put a firm conclusion to it rather than letting it drag on forever like this -
not to forget that it reali takes a lot of courage to tell the other party your feelings... regardless of gender....
so if you reali like him u gona pluck up some courage, quite a bit needed here though, and let him noe...
As in Fish leong's song, yong qi, there is this verse that goes
"ai zhen de xu yao yong qi......."
You have all the support here in AA!!