Is every relationship like that ?
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We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication. -
Maybe she still haven't forget the past and you're also getting more and more bochap with things as you get disheartened along the way...?
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The way I treat now is exactly the way I treat her on day 1 .Originally posted by Devil1976:Maybe she still haven't forget the past and you're also getting more and more bochap with things as you get disheartened along the way...? -
Sounds a bit familiar.Originally posted by Mudslide:We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication.
Before I give any comments..can I ask a question?
How long are you two together? -
it quoted in my post . 6 months.Originally posted by laosu:Sounds a bit familiar.
Before I give any comments..can I ask a question?
How long are you two together? -
My post from your former thread still stands.Originally posted by Mudslide:it quoted in my post . 6 months.
Exactly the same thing i'd say now.
Cheers -
Guys : thanks for reading .
Pardon me for my paraniod. I cherish her as much as I cherish my life .
She is important to me , a striking goal in my life . -
Do you think you're important to her?Originally posted by Mudslide:Guys : thanks for reading .
Pardon me for my paraniod. I cherish her as much as I cherish my life .
She is important to me , a striking goal in my life .
Cheers -
frankly speaking , I dont know ....maybe I dun think so.Originally posted by M©+square:Do you think you're important to her?
Cheers
Why do you ask this question ?
maybe you are correct, i am not important to her. : ( -
you mean who do i ask this question?Originally posted by Mudslide:frankly speaking , I dont know ....maybe I dun think so.
Why dun you ask this question ?
Because you're in your own world and you don't know the situation you're in.
Offensive it may sound. I'll burst your bubble one by one if necessary.
I doubt your ideal in love is a sound one.
Cheers -
no it doesnt sound offensive , speak your heart ...Originally posted by M©+square:you mean who do i ask this question?
Because you're in your own world and you don't know the situation you're in.
Offensive it may sound. I'll burst your bubble one by one if necessary.
I doubt your ideal in love is a sound one.
Cheers -
I realised something after a long time.Originally posted by Mudslide:no it doesnt sound offensive , speak your heart ...
It was a long long time since i've assured anyone that their partners loved them, or that they need to leave their partner.
Sometime since i've posted opinionated comments.
1st one in 2006(?)
This substance could lead/motivate a person to make believe that he/she could sustain a relationship solely on one sided basis even though the other party isn't making effort at all.
Unfortunately, it is somewhere near Love but not close enough.
It's called obssession.
Your next few moves will possibly lead your downfall of esteem and confidence.
It's either you waste up your 'energy/motivation' faster and escape from wrath or you'll be consumed.
Be cautious.
Cheers -
Uh, I may be missing something here, but if you're going to refuse to communicate, how are you going to find out the reason?Originally posted by Mudslide:I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication.
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Wah Special GUEST!!!!!Originally posted by Gedanken:Uh, I may be missing something here, but if you're going to refuse to communicate, how are you going to find out the reason?
I see you've been lurking in AA. **Rubs chin**
Cheers -
I am open to commuication , communication doesnt work in one way , its both way ... but she doesnt wants to ...Originally posted by Gedanken:Uh, I may be missing something here, but if you're going to refuse to communicate, how are you going to find out the reason?
I am really confused at this moment , I cant cool-down , too many things happen , I cant take it , she taking me as a toy .... -
haha , well said , cool analysis .Originally posted by M©+square:I realised something after a long time.
It was a long long time since i've assured anyone that their partners loved them, or that they need to leave their partner.
Sometime since i've posted opinionated comments.
1st one in 2006(?) This substance could lead/motivate a person to make believe that he/she could sustain a relationship solely on one sided basis even though the other party isn't making effort at all.
Unfortunately, it is somewhere near Love but not close enough.
It's called obssession. Your next few moves are possibly leading you to your downfall of esteem and confidence.
It's either you waste up your 'energy/motivation' faster and escape from wrath or you'll be consumed.
Be cautious.
Cheers
Too bad , I can only potray my relationship in words , if you could see what happened , you will think likewise . -
Next.
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how both of u get together in the first place?Originally posted by Mudslide:We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication. -
Jus becos she dosent love u the way u want, dosent mean she dosent love u with all she had.
see how she sms to ask bout u? she is puttin effort into showin that she cares -
Me, lurking? Nah, I was just passing through the neighbourhood and saw this thread pop up on the "newest topics" list.Originally posted by M©+square:Wah Special GUEST!!!!!
I see you've been lurking in AA. **Rubs chin**
Cheers
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Hmm.Originally posted by Mudslide:I am open to commuication , communication doesnt work in one way , its both way ... but she doesnt wants to ...
I am really confused at this moment , I cant cool-down , too many things happen , I cant take it , she taking me as a toy ....
Yes, communication isn't a one-way street, but here are a few things to consider:
1) Communication is not limited to the verbal - just because she's not saying anything doesn't mean she's not telling you anything.
2) For some reason or other, she obviously doesn't feel comfortable telling you what's on her mind. Note, though, that this may not be any of your doing - she may simply feel that what she says needs an audience of a different mindset to yours if she's to be understood.
3) On the other hand, if your normal pattern of communication is reflected in how you've written your posts here, it's not ideal for such a situation. Obviously, if she's saying it's "nothing", it's going to be something that she does not find easy to talk about. Judging PURELY by the way you've been writing here, there's a lack of the patience that's required if she's to feel safe enough to speak her mind.
To illustrate the extent of patience I'm talking about, I'll present the Seven-Hour Clock. Shortly after my girlfriend and I started dating (we've been together for more than two years), I noted that she took roughly seven hours of saying "nothing" before she finally spat out whatever was bugging her. The next time it happened, I simply told her that I'd get back to her in seven hours - she was startled by that until I explained the pattern that I had identified, and it became our running joke. I don't have to use the Seven-Hour Clock often these days, but she knows that she can talk about what's bugging her whenever she wants to. The point is that if you don't get an immediate answer, don't apply pressure - she'll just clam up if you do.
4) Going back to point 1, look past what each of you is saying, and try to identify the ways in which she expresses herself. You may just find that she is indeed showing that she cares, simply in ways that have escaped your attention.
All the best! -
Very true for the 2nd point. Such scary things can be done to a person in the name of Love.Originally posted by M©+square:I realised something after a long time.
It was a long long time since i've assured anyone that their partners loved them, or that they need to leave their partner.
Sometime since i've posted opinionated comments.
1st one in 2006(?) This substance could lead/motivate a person to make believe that he/she could sustain a relationship solely on one sided basis even though the other party isn't making effort at all.
Unfortunately, it is somewhere near Love but not close enough.
It's called obssession. Your next few moves will possibly lead your downfall of esteem and confidence.
It's either you waste up your 'energy/motivation' faster and escape from wrath or you'll be consumed.
Be cautious.
Cheers -
i sense a hidden message. Maybe its just meOriginally posted by M©+square:I realised something after a long time.
It was a long long time since i've assured anyone that their partners loved them, or that they need to leave their partner.
Sometime since i've posted opinionated comments.
1st one in 2006(?) This substance could lead/motivate a person to make believe that he/she could sustain a relationship solely on one sided basis even though the other party isn't making effort at all.
Unfortunately, it is somewhere near Love but not close enough.
It's called obssession. Your next few moves will possibly lead your downfall of esteem and confidence.
It's either you waste up your 'energy/motivation' faster and escape from wrath or you'll be consumed.
Be cautious.
Cheers
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Maybe this is exactly the reason why-- It is one thing to treat someone as important in your life but another to make the person the MOST important thing in your life. It gives your partner a sense of pressure and burden all the time, like everything they do or don't do becomes soooo important to you, they can't be themselves anymore.Originally posted by Mudslide:Guys : thanks for reading .
Pardon me for my paraniod. I cherish her as much as I cherish my life .
She is important to me , a striking goal in my life .
Also, when you become obsessive, instead of enjoying time together, all the time you spend together end up being full of imagined(or real) suspicions, then accusations, and it gets tiring instead of enjoyable.
Time spent together need not be long, but it is important that both of you are happy. Is your desire for her to belong in your life more important than your desire to enjoy her company, make both your lives fulfilling, for both of you to be happy? Even if one day you lose her, at least you are building up on the happy memories.
It isnt easy but I find these type of frustrations, insecurity, unhappiness is the biggest source of breaking down a relationship than any other reason. -
She likes you but she is not sure if she really loves you.
She does not know what to do. She is fine being with you but just very unsure of what to do.