Is every relationship like that ?
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This "Seven-hours rule" sounds like a great idea! Have you patented it yet?Originally posted by Gedanken:To illustrate the extent of patience I'm talking about, I'll present the Seven-Hour Clock. Shortly after my girlfriend and I started dating (we've been together for more than two years), I noted that she took roughly seven hours of saying "nothing" before she finally spat out whatever was bugging her. The next time it happened, I simply told her that I'd get back to her in seven hours - she was startled by that until I explained the pattern that I had identified, and it became our running joke. I don't have to use the Seven-Hour Clock often these days, but she knows that she can talk about what's bugging her whenever she wants to. The point is that if you don't get an immediate answer, don't apply pressure - she'll just clam up if you do.
All the best!
Mudslide you should try that rule. But you will need to control your emotion better to pull that off. -
Sorry buddy, if she is already like this for the initial 6 months (issit?) then chances are, it's hard for her to change herself for the rest coming months and years towards you.
What u think about it? I mean, the future.
Whether she, and u, can change and be closer.
I think she doesnt really like you bah.....And I think u also uncomfortable in this situation.
Analyze, conclude, take action. -
I think she met someone better than you. You better Jia You or you'll lose out to another guy.
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Nah, I've already been through the patent process once - patent research is a pain in the arse.Originally posted by curiousOrange:This "Seven-hours rule" sounds like a great idea! Have you patented it yet? 
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gold digger?Originally posted by Mudslide:We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication. -
What gold is there to dig from a student and someone who's just graduated?
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Bochap as in mentality and not 'actions'.. Actions are just ACTIONS... If a person buys flowers and say the 3 words 'I love you', doesn't necessarily means that he mean it... Even if he mean it, doesn't necessarily means that it'll definitely be preceived by the other party as so...Originally posted by Mudslide:The way I treat now is exactly the way I treat her on day 1 .
Your personality is on a confused state in this relationship. Probably because you have a sense of... 'Lack in control' over her... Whether through superiority, ego, satisfactions... You feel that your actions are not giving results and efforts not in effects.. In fact, your orientation could be so very wrong...
She on the other hand could be spoilt by you (this is just a partial guess) and refuse to let you exercise your 'superiority' over her... Both of you probably have an ego which couldn't be easily compressed... Especially yours...
And you're 'hiding'... From alot of things probably... Not 'seeing'... Narrow perspective.... very much on your own even as you come here to seek for an answer.. You look and search, but you don't really figure out... End of the day from your trip in AA, you just goes back to where you came from... -
If a girl wishes to talk she will talk. If she wishes to sms she will sms. There is nothing fake about it.Originally posted by Mudslide:We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication.
Your expectation of relationship is very high and always want a lot from your other half. Do not exepect too much if you really love her from the bottom of your heart.
What effort do you really want from her? She never did anything wrong maybe she just need some personal space that all.
Since you have exhausted all channels of communications then just forget about talking to her at all..
Give her some time off. -
I will .Originally posted by drx:If a girl wishes to talk she will talk. If she wishes to sms she will sms. There is nothing fake about it.
Your expectation of relationship is very high and always want a lot from your other half. Do not exepect too much if you really love her from the bottom of your heart.
What effort do you really want from her? She never did anything wrong maybe she just need some personal space that all.
Since you have exhausted all channels of communications then just forget about talking to her at all..
Give her some time off.
As most of you have guess , she and I , is now at a very critical stage .
Let's hope we go thru this difficult period ...
Its tearing me apart , I am closed to tears already . -
Maybe it's just time to take a small step back.. Relax and loosen things up a bit..?Originally posted by Mudslide:I will .
As most of you have guess , she and I , is now at a very critical stage .
Let's hope we go thru this difficult period ...
Its tearing me apart , I am closed to tears already . -
Taken a step , have calmed down and analyse ..
Sighz , due to her heavy work commitment , I havent been seeing her lately ...
We havent been going out , we havent been talking much to each other , even we spoke , it was only thru SMS or meetup during lunch ...
I think I may be too selfish sometimes . I hate myself for being so ....All I want is security , a definite answer , manipulation of her thinking sometime ...
I had only 1 relationship in the past when I was 18 ...I called it puppy love.
I am not prepare to lose her now , maybe I should try to learn that n accept this -
How old are the both of you again?Originally posted by Mudslide:Taken a step , have calmed down and analyse ..
Sighz , due to her heavy work commitment , I havent been seeing her lately ...
We havent been going out , we havent been talking much to each other , even we spoke , it was only thru SMS or meetup during lunch ...
I think I may be too selfish sometimes . I hate myself for being so ....All I want is security , a definite answer , manipulation of her thinking sometime ...
I had only 1 relationship in the past when I was 18 ...I called it puppy love.
I am not prepare to lose her now , maybe I should try to learn that n accept this
So you found out that she wasn't really ignoring you, but too busy, immensed in work, or lost in thoughts?
I believe the next best thing you can do now is to support her through this hard time, and to show her you care.
If she's really as important to you as you claim, you'll want this relationship to last, and this is probably the only thing you can do now.
Relationship is a delicate process... i like to think of it as a simple give and take. If one person gives too much, he/she will feel tired after some time, and thats when problems surfaces.
Take one step at a time. There's really no need to rush in a relationship. -
Read up this thread first.Originally posted by _Aaron_:How old are the both of you again?
So you found out that she wasn't really ignoring you, but too busy, immensed in work, or lost in thoughts?
I believe the next best thing you can do now is to support her through this hard time, and to show her you care.
If she's really as important to you as you claim, you'll want this relationship to last, and this is probably the only thing you can do now.
Relationship is a delicate process... i like to think of it as a simple give and take. If one person gives too much, he/she will feel tired after some time, and thats when problems surfaces.
Take one step at a time. There's really no need to rush in a relationship.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=173798 -
6 months and already like dat?? This relationship does not sound so good. A relationship can only last if 2 put in effort. The words " I will try " are just plain crap... one simply does not want to change and no point in trying to change if one is not interested.
U have put in a lot of effort. This I admire u, but dun u think u have put in too much effort just to keep this going?
Please, do think abt yourself. Find some close friends for some good old chi-chat -
It is very obvious she is lack of love.What u give her is not love but care and concern only... Love is sometimes special that is not like just normal asking of yr well-being or taking care of her! It is an action to make her special and stands out from all the rest u care abt.Or even stands out from the rest of the gal. I bet u r a blockhead and don know how to make her become the special!Originally posted by Mudslide:We quarel and quarel ever since we graduated and came back to singapore , over small things , the issues are small things such as my friends , the way I do things , the way she questioned me ...etc ..
we moved on ...patching up things everytime.
I was injured due to a fall from my bike. I get the stuffs for her despite my pain in the injury ... I gave her some $$$ as well as she say she was hard on cash ...
She neglected me and I dun no due to what reason, she doesnt wants to see me to work (my working place was near to her), she left me alone walking out of the MRT train , she didnt even want to hold my hands ...
I was , of course , angry n sad , do I deserve this kind of treatment from her ?
what really happen ?
I question her , she say sorry to me .... I probe , she said nothing . In the later day, she called/sms me to check on me about how I was . It was so fake .....
We have been into our relationship into 6 months already, in this 6 months , I nv hear a word of "I love you" from her ...Its always me who put in effort in this relationship which I sometimes feel so tired . Why my effort put in doesnt have any effect on her at all ?She promise she will put in effort , but I seriously doubt so ....
I sometimes wonder if I give her too much attention and concern or just too little ?
I feel so hurt and disappointed . what should I do ? I wanted to find out reason why she behaved like that . Dun tell me to ask / write letter / sweet talk / sms / call / communicate , I have exhausted all channels of communication. -
maybe if he made a statue of her and offfer incense is wad u call love?Originally posted by CannyOng:It is very obvious she is lack of love.What u give her is not love but care and concern only... Love is sometimes special that is not like just normal asking of yr well-being or taking care of her! It is an action to make her special and stands out from all the rest u care abt.Or even stands out from the rest of the gal. I bet u r a blockhead and don know how to make her become the special!
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Surprise,new experience,creativity,unusual,original....Originally posted by Ito_^:maybe if he made a statue of her and offfer incense is wad u call love? -
Love with another is never meant to be selfish.. What is not meant to be yours would be lost even if you grab it by your hand... Just like grabbing a young chick by its neck...Originally posted by Mudslide:Taken a step , have calmed down and analyse ..
Sighz , due to her heavy work commitment , I havent been seeing her lately ...
We havent been going out , we havent been talking much to each other , even we spoke , it was only thru SMS or meetup during lunch ...
I think I may be too selfish sometimes . I hate myself for being so ....All I want is security , a definite answer , manipulation of her thinking sometime ...
I had only 1 relationship in the past when I was 18 ...I called it puppy love.
I am not prepare to lose her now , maybe I should try to learn that n accept this
If you love her, simply love her... If you don't, why bother to hold on...