What Kind of Person am I ??
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Wah gd bk...
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u mean u ar?Originally posted by M©+square:So long le still fresh ah?
Cheers
how i know whether u are still fresh or not?
serious mode*
yup.. still hurts very badly.
I survived, but the shadow is there.
I can never love again. -
ur choice, it doesnt dictate the kind of person ur..
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That is my current mentality also...Originally posted by browniebaobao:
yup.. still hurts very badly.
I survived, but the shadow is there.
I can never love again. -
None of the above, I'm a Pisces.Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Are you a Taurus, Leo, Scorpio or Aquarius?
Cheers
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i guess u r rite.... maybe i'm jus not good at making choicesOriginally posted by Devil1976:Advice? It's your choice, isn't it?
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Everyone makes choices and decisions.Originally posted by MiX Metal:i guess u r rite.... maybe i'm jus not good at making choices
It's whether if it's good or bad one.
For you. You just didn't manage to make the best decision for yourself.
Cheers -
Yup !! to tell u the true, wasn't sure what kind of reaction i would get from wat I've written, have never join any forums before .....Originally posted by M©+square:Everyone makes choices and decisions.
It's whether if it's good or bad one.
For you. You just didn't manage to make the best decision for yourself.
Cheers
Thanks for the advise !! -
Originally posted by MiX Metal:Yup !! to tell u the true, wasn't sure what kind of reaction i would get from wat I've written, have never join any forums before .....
Thanks for the advise !!
stay here and contribute ok? -
SURE !!Originally posted by M©+square:
stay here and contribute ok?
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Nay.. It's just an opinion which you might change from time to time at various points of your life...Originally posted by MiX Metal:i guess u r rite.... maybe i'm jus not good at making choices -
sometimes...
i dont mind being single...with some very good frens around...
at least..thats for now.. -
I guess thats jus smthg tat we all have to go through ......
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WahÂ…donÂ’t think so negatively.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I guess thats jus smthg tat we all have to go through ......
So many things in life require some experimenting.
All you need to do is to step out of your comfort zone and try a new approach when what you are doing isnÂ’t working.
Two things you must understand from your case
A lot of women prefer to talk to guys about some issues that are intimate to them.
They are women, they understand their gender and know what will happen when they tell their counterparts all these secrets.
Women are more prone to gossip and spreading rumors than men.
So donÂ’t raise your hopes too high when they confide in you.
Just because they confide in you donÂ’t mean they must be interested in you or they particularly like you.
Just be indifferent and listen attentively.
Women are the kings of conversation, but they are weaker in action compared to men.
That is why they prefer to talk most of the time.
That is why they flirt and wait for guys to make the move.
That is why they hide inside the toilet to talk about men instead of asking them for dates.
Action is their weak spot.
Which is why my advice for you is to simply listen and donÂ’t give advices. You donÂ’t want to spend so much time analyzing things that have got nothing to do with your relationship with her.
Unless you are Shakespear or someone who can make their knees weak by just talking,
Focus on doing things with her instead of talking to her.
Good luck! -
there are other's things involved ..... anyway at least we are still friends and I can live with that for now .....
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You are a nice man.Originally posted by MiX Metal:anyway at least we are still friends and I can live with that for now .....
I want success for you. What else can I say?
For so long, you have been busy trying to be yourself.
Maybe do yourself a favor...give yourself another 5 years to be yourself.
If what you did still don't work, then perharps it is time to experiment.
There is no harm in doing things slightly differently.
Take care. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:You are a nice man.
I want success for you. What else can I say?
For so long, you have been busy trying to be yourself.
Maybe do yourself a favor...give yourself another 5 years to be yourself.
If what you did still don't work, then perharps it is time to experiment.
There is no harm in doing things slightly differently.
Take care. -
Originally posted by MiX Metal:None of the above, I'm a Pisces. Probably you are so good at empathy and absorbing 'environmental' feelings that it becomes quite difficult for you to place the bridge on the divide between Love and friendship. You excel in connecting with friends emotionally, which probably grant you the ability of having platonic friend without romantically involved with one.
Your passive nature could also influence you the lack of drive to do much. Maybe it's not doing nothing; you may feel that a relationship or not may not matter as much IF the bonds between two is strong.
Explore yourself and you may find your own answer. We live for ourselves, not that of others.
Cheers -
part of what you say about me is quite true except for 1 thing, it is not my lack of drive to do much that got me in this situation, its jus that I always feel that the friendship or bond that i share with them are very important and that i do not wish to do anything to damage it.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Probably you are so good at empathy and absorbing 'environmental' feelings that it becomes quite difficult for you to place the bridge on the divide between Love and friendship. You excel in connecting with friends emotionally, which probably grant you the ability of having platonic friend without romantically involved with one.
Your passive nature could also influence you the lack of drive to do much. Maybe it's not doing nothing; you may feel that a relationship or not may not matter as much IF the bonds between two is strong.
Explore yourself and you may find your own answer. We live for ourselves, not that of others.
Cheers
I guess unless I am able to learn to take the risk, I'll always end in the same situation over and over again ....... for now, I am happy that she has found someone that is able to give all the love and attention that she needs....
Thats what friends are for right ????? -
maybe the key thing is that after learning so many dark secrets from gals your heart is also scared.Originally posted by MiX Metal:part of what you say about me is quite true except for 1 thing, it is not my lack of drive to do much that got me in this situation, its jus that I always feel that the friendship or bond that i share with them are very important and that i do not wish to do anything to damage it.
I guess unless I am able to learn to take the risk, I'll always end in the same situation over and over again ....... for now, I am happy that she has found someone that is able to give all the love and attention that she needs....
Thats what friends are for right ?????
Maybe you realise that inside that pretty and beautiful outer shell each gal has is only dark and evil mindset.
Thats why maybe you do not want to be hurt by them so that is why is you feel is the best to remain just only friends. -
I'm not afraid of getting hurt, I'm afraid that I might become the one hurting them instead ..... I treasure their friendship and I do not wish to do any stupid to destroy them ...... but I also know that in life, we are meant to make stupid mistakes in order to learn ...... its jus that knowing what to do and actually doing it are 2 totally different things ....Originally posted by zeny:maybe the key thing is that after learning so many dark secrets from gals your heart is also scared.
Maybe you realise that inside that pretty and beautiful outer shell each gal has is only dark and evil mindset.
Thats why maybe you do not want to be hurt by them so that is why is you feel is the best to remain just only friends. -
Mate, I donÂ’t want to burst your bubble, but you are already being foolishÂ…right from the moment you realized you cannot get what you want.
You want her as a lover in the first place, but when you realized that was not possible, you settled for the second best option! That is being foolish because you are not being true to yourself.
You can tell me how she isnÂ’t really that bad as a friend and how you donÂ’t mind giving her attention when she needs it
But the point is you SETTLED for the second best and you arenÂ’t really happy about it!
There are two types of friendship us men can have with a women.
The first type is a purely platonic one. Common interests, shared history and passions in life keep the friendship alive. And both parties realized that there was no physical attraction involved.
The second type is when the guy wanted the girl but couldnÂ’t raise her interest. He still opted to stay around as a friend secretly hoping that one day she will wake up and suddenly decides that he is the right one for her.
You belong to the latter category.
If you are happy with that arrangement, you wouldnÂ’t be here in the first place.
HereÂ’s what you wrote to Yunhaier:
What you wrote to Yunhaier is the root of your problem.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I guess unless I am able to learn to take the risk, I'll always end in the same situation over and over again
Your unhappiness stems from the fact that you always ended up settling for the second best option due to your unwillingness to take risks.
You should memorize this phrase you wrote above and make it a part of your life.
And what you wrote to Zeny:
No one is telling you to destroy friendships.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I treasure their friendship and I do not wish to do any stupid to destroy them ...... but I also know that in life, we are meant to make stupid mistakes in order to learn ...... its jus that knowing what to do and actually doing it are 2 totally different things ....”
In fact, leave all these relationships with your female friends as they are.
There isnÂ’t a need to change anything there because it is too late for you to do anything to get out of the friend zone.
Rather, focus on new relationships.
Before you start telling yourself how it’s “complicated” and how there are a lot of things involved, go back and read what you wrote to Yunhaier.
Like I said before, I really hope you can do well one day.
But you need to face your fears because that is the main difference between "knowing what to do and actually doing it."
Brush all your other thoughts aside. Those are the product of your fear.
The only barrier you are facing, is yourself and your perception of risk.
Take care. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Dear curiousOrange,
The only barrier you are facing, is yourself and [b]your perception of risk.
[/b]
I get what you are telling me and yes I agree that that is my biggest problem.....
only time can tell if I've learn my lesson
and I hope i have this cos its not the first time that this has happen that's why i feel i have to let it all out before it gets the best of me.....
Lucky for me, I always try to look at the brighter side of life.... -
Originally posted by MiX Metal:part of what you say about me is quite true except for 1 thing, it is not my lack of drive to do much that got me in this situation, its jus that I always feel that the friendship or bond that i share with them are very important and that i do not wish to do anything to damage it.
I guess unless I am able to learn to take the risk, I'll always end in the same situation over and over again ....... for now, I am happy that she has found someone that is able to give all the love and attention that she needs....
Thats what friends are for right ????? This causes you the lack of drive to do anything because you don't wish to 'damage' your friendship, isn't it? Or to tune my words, you find yourself unable to work upon the relationship further than what you are given.
It doesn't matter how the it is rearranged... a fact remained: you did nothing else.
Read Orange's post carefully as it is something I would like to tell you as well.
You can forever try to be a passive fish and gets nothing ultimately. Or you could attempt a sudden decision to forgo that stability for a moment and you might actually gain a whole new world.
Cheers -
I agree, that is something that I've been trying to change ..... but its not easy for me, but I'll keep trying and hopefully one day soon stop being a "PASSIVE FISH"Originally posted by Yunhaier: This causes you the lack of drive to do anything because you don't wish to 'damage' your friendship, isn't it? Or to tune my words, you find yourself unable to work upon the relationship further than what you are given.
It doesn't matter how the it is rearranged... a fact remained: you did nothing else.
Read Orange's post carefully as it is something I would like to tell you as well.
You can forever try to be a passive fish and gets nothing ultimately. Or you could attempt a sudden decision to forgo that stability for a moment and you might actually gain a whole new world.
Cheers