If given a chance...would you erase your painful past?
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We were never in a r/s. It was just an one-sided wish of my own part. We were close friends though, and hence we have shared a lot of happy moments together.Originally posted by Heartzzz:Aiyo...Thats life mah...I'm sure everyone will have a happy and sad story behind him and her....Of course a failed relationship is one of the worst feelings a human has to experience...But as i said, its life....
Be glad that you two once shared happy moments together, even though it may or may not be long....As many people said, better to have love and lost rather than to have never love at all...I'm also moving on in life, although i admit it's tough...But only you yourself can stop yourself from being sad...In the end, saying is easier than done.....CNY coming i also sadded.... -
My feel on this is that.. your past and present.. determines who you are.. its your life history.. it makes us as a person whole and unique.. cos you can bet no one is going to share the exact same track that we have taken.. you take that away.. either by selective amnesia or whatever means.. it just hollows you out.. takes a big chunk of what it is that is you away..
for someone that has experienced "pains of the past", i think there are lessons learnt.. either to avoid being stuck at a similar situation or to be where you are now and in the future to stop and smell the flowers and appreciate the good things better...
so if i think that i have a painful past.. i would think that i m lucky and maybe even grateful.. cos it will make me treat my life onwards better..
I can't think that life would be as wonderful if you are always in a state of "good" but then not having to be where it is bad.. i think its really missing out on something... -
I know that I am grateful for all the lessons that I have learnt from the past...the reason I really want to erase it as soon as possible is because it hinders the process of me moving on into the future.Originally posted by Ecxentrique:My feel on this is that.. your past and present.. determines who you are.. its your life history.. it makes us as a person whole and unique.. cos you can bet no one is going to share the exact same track that we have taken.. you take that away.. either by selective amnesia or whatever means.. it just hollows you out.. takes a big chunk of what it is that is you away..
for someone that has experienced "pains of the past", i think there are lessons learnt.. either to avoid being stuck at a similar situation or to be where you are now and in the future to stop and smell the flowers and appreciate the good things better...
so if i think that i have a painful past.. i would think that i m lucky and maybe even grateful.. cos it will make me treat my life onwards better..
I can't think that life would be as wonderful if you are always in a state of "good" but then not having to be where it is bad.. i think its really missing out on something... -
icic....No matter what, give yourself time to move on lor...Don't know how long this will take, but the first step is not to cling on to the past lor....Cause past must go before the future can come mah...I always like to give people advice but i can't advice myself!! Crap isn't it....haOriginally posted by rainee:We were never in a r/s. It was just an one-sided wish of my own part. We were close friends though, and hence we have shared a lot of happy moments together. -
i know somethings can be painful.. but just consider the possibility of being actually able to erase things just like that.. it might be possible.. not sure if those hynotic things will work...Originally posted by rainee:I know that I am grateful for all the lessons that I have learnt from the past...the reason I really want to erase it as soon as possible is because it hinders the process of me moving on into the future.
anyway i m not sure if it is what i think it is, if its due to a choice that you have made, then i suppose you have to respect yourself and your decision,
extracted from a book:-
"accept that what is done is done.. whatever the past was, its gone and there is really nothing you can do to change anything that has gone before. so you must turn your attention to the here and now"
don't let the past influence the choices that you have to make today.. this is the choice that you have to make today for you to move on..
i can only advise from what i feel.. and hopefully it will apply to the specifics of your case.. -
It is often easy to advise but harder to practise the advice on ourselves. Happens to me tooOriginally posted by Heartzzz:icic....No matter what, give yourself time to move on lor...Don't know how long this will take, but the first step is not to cling on to the past lor....Cause past must go before the future can come mah...I always like to give people advice but i can't advice myself!! Crap isn't it....ha
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you cant try to forget... the more you do the more u cant... cux while trying to do so, you are actually rembering to forget...Originally posted by rainee:True...but sometimes, things are not under our control.
And to me, forgetting is a priviledge. The more I want to forget, the more those thoughts will invade my waking hours.
when one day you reali forget it u wont even think of trying to do so.... -
hi rainee,Originally posted by rainee:It is like someone waiting for the train in the train station. He/she wants to leave the place that holds a lot of painful memories for them, the ticket is bought and the train is here. But something in the past prevents him/her from boarding the train, and because of that, the train leaves that person behind.
Like the train, time does not wait for us. Life goes on, no matter how much we have been hurt, doesn't matter that we are doubling up with the pain and we wish we are given a period of grace when time can stop moving until we are fully healed.
I know my train of happiness is waiting for me. Do I have enough courage to leave this City of the Past behind?
i will board the train on time,
but before that, i'll take one long look at everything behind me and promise myself,
it won't end like this,
i'll be back......
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probably not...
yr past, makes yr present and shapes yr future...
although the past may be painful, u came out of it, making u a better person, smarter and wiser..
jst like a child, would never understand ' hot water is hot' till he touches it and learn from it....and would think be4 touchin something 'hot' again....
although sometimes, walking down the road, u might see something tt trigger the memories of yr past failures, but i tink...u should feel great abt it, however painful it is, cause its something that u have and others cant steal from u...yr memories...
tts mi comments...
hav fun... -
To erase the past painful memory isn't it trying to create a life of smooth sailing? A smooth sailing life is nothing but just a plain monotonous life which i think is no different then living as a robot.
Also happiness and unhappiness is something that is not given by other to us. We are the sole decider to decide if we want to be happy or not? Even if the whole world are to treat you like a god/goddess, but if you choose to remain unhappy what can they do? On the other hand even if the everything is not going smoothly for you, you can still remain a happy person so basically it about are we willing to let go and move on or remain on the spot and linger about the past.
People can give us any advise or consolation, ultimately, the decision is up to ourselve and not other.
Also painful memory is something that gave us the experience and ability to handle the problem when it happen again in the future to us or to other.
A life of plain sailing is not a life that is enjoyable because it a incomplete life where we won't get to taste the sour, sweet, bitter and hot in life. -
I think I will..
yet to watch that movie.. i din even know it was showing.. i had been waiting and waiting.. then no more in cinemas.
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XMY, you never try you never know.Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:M©, sit on the fence not nice de.
Become more confused only because got too many choices...
That's what makes other option so interesting, you know in the end you'll choose the (right) option. But the other options are not wrong and worth a try.
Fun to boggle your mind for a while.
____________________
I tot of this senario. Just for the fun of it.
You're married for 4 years and love your husband. When you think everything is going strong, you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you.
One day, you found out that he had a affair. He apologised profusely and beg of your forgiveness. He wept and cried.....both of you got seperated for 1 year; prepare for divorce procedure, you never looked back because looking back means opening those deep wounds even though he tried hard to win you back.
You've got into an accident and only knowing he is sleeping beside you.
But you don't know who he is. You lost your memories, but you know this guy who was by your side when you're in hospital is the only person who cared.
He took care of you and showered you with every single thing you need in life.
You got married to him(again) and you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you....
He never looked back and loved you to the end....
:::: If You didn't lose your memory. It could have ended different.
Two broken souls.
::: In that story. There is a chance of restoration and another chance of re building innocence and pure sweetness in the relationship.
No bitter memories to overcome, just LOVE....
_______________
Is it wrong? No.
Worth a try? To me, i dare not. But then again, why not?
Personally, i wouldn't choose to give the 'right' answer like - if i forget, i'll never learn. This answers are good answers.
But for a personal opinion, i would ask - What would i lose in this lost?
Would i lose the ability to love the girl i've been loving? Would i
OR
What if my ex whom i love so much comes back and i forgot about her???
Fear of lost.
:::nonetheless, it'll be another kind of experience if we have this ability to erase our past.
p.s sorry ah. I'm not a good storyteller. Yunnie still does a better job.
Cheers! -
wah good plot for a Korean drama seriesOriginally posted by M©+square:XMY, you never try you never know.
That's what makes other option so interesting, you know in the end you'll choose the (right) option. But the other options are not wrong and worth a try.
Fun to boggle your mind for a while.
____________________
I tot of this senario. Just for the fun of it.
You're married for 4 years and love your husband. When you think everything is going strong, you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you.
One day, you found out that he had a affair. He apologised profusely and beg of your forgiveness. He wept and cried.....both of you got seperated for 1 year; prepare for divorce procedure, you never looked back because looking back means opening those deep wounds even though he tried hard to win you back.
You've got into an accident and only knowing he is sleeping beside you.
But you don't know who he is. You lost your memories, but you know this guy who was by your side when you're in hospital is the only person who cared.
He took care of you and showered you with every single thing you need in life.
You got married to him(again) and you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you....
He never looked back and loved you to the end....
:::: If You didn't lose your memory. It could have ended different.
Two broken souls.
::: In that story. There is a chance of restoration and another chance of re building innocence and pure sweetness in the relationship.
No bitter memories to overcome, just LOVE....
_______________
Is it wrong? No.
Worth a try? To me, i dare not. But then again, why not?
Personally, i wouldn't choose to give the 'right' answer like - if i forget, i'll never learn. This answers are good answers.
But for a personal opinion, i would ask - What would i lose in this lost?
Would i lose the ability to love the girl i've been loving? Would i
OR
What if my ex whom i love so much comes back and i forgot about her???
Fear of lost.
:::nonetheless, it'll be another kind of experience if we have this ability to erase our past.
p.s sorry ah. I'm not a good storyteller. Yunnie still does a better job.
Cheers! -
Interesting,
People are optimistic about the making of a better person and wiser person if they encounter painful past.
M© analyze.
Cheers -
Well, as they say, adversity helps to build character.Originally posted by M©+square:Interesting,
People are optimistic about the making of a better person and wiser person if they encounter painful past.
M© analyze.
Cheers -
tsk dun say that la.Originally posted by rainee:wah good plot for a Korean drama series 
I ask yunnie to write a long story on this.
Cheers -
anyway..its hard to 4get abt sad memories...because our brain works this way.. (from a book)
we tend to remember in three ways...
1) funny and catchy things..( eg: bet tt u still remb the funny commercials and nursury rhymes rite?)
2)life skills( as in those tt would cause hurt yrself if u forget....eg. u nvr forget how to cycle swim or run if u learned it be4...rite) ..yr body rembs it...
3) is sad memories....( no elaboration needeed)
so...its U tt could 'change'....
not easy though...(i cant do it too)
hav fun..(^.^) -
I think a lot of people tend to learn from their mistakes more than from othersOriginally posted by M©+square:Interesting,
People are optimistic about the making of a better person and wiser person if they encounter painful past.
M© analyze.
Cheers
Another thing is - the assumption is that there is something you can DO about the painful past that if you have not done, could have changed it.
Sometimes painful pasts simply can't be changed. However, how you handle it CAN make you a STRONGER person (not necessarily better and wiser) when it comes to future pain. Of course, if you can't handle it at all, Darwin's law takes place and takes you away from human evolution. -
Yes! to ShrodingersCatOriginally posted by ShrodingersCat:I think a lot of people tend to learn from their mistakes more than from others
Another thing is - the assumption is that there is something you can DO about the painful past that if you have not done, could have changed it.
Sometimes painful pasts simply can't be changed. However, how you handle it CAN make you a STRONGER person (not necessarily better and wiser) when it comes to future pain. Of course, if you can't handle it at all, Darwin's law takes place and takes you away from human evolution.
I'm actually waiting for someone to refute my statement. Then you came and add power to it.... The lessons from experience may not be a right one. It could have backfired and caused a person to go into extremes. Then again, if you can survive...you are definitely a stronger person(not BETTER or WISER).
Cheers~ -
for me, painful memories shldnt be erased, but learnt how to manage them..
All memories serves as reminder or lesson to be learnt..
If you conquer it, it will no longer be painful, but a good reminder of what you shld or shldnt do...hehe...
As the old sayings, time will heal your wounds.... -
Enlightening. I get your point.Originally posted by M©+square:XMY, you never try you never know.
That's what makes other option so interesting, you know in the end you'll choose the (right) option. But the other options are not wrong and worth a try.
Fun to boggle your mind for a while.
____________________
I tot of this senario. Just for the fun of it.
You're married for 4 years and love your husband. When you think everything is going strong, you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you.
One day, you found out that he had a affair. He apologised profusely and beg of your forgiveness. He wept and cried.....both of you got seperated for 1 year; prepare for divorce procedure, you never looked back because looking back means opening those deep wounds even though he tried hard to win you back.
You've got into an accident and only knowing he is sleeping beside you.
But you don't know who he is. You lost your memories, but you know this guy who was by your side when you're in hospital is the only person who cared.
He took care of you and showered you with every single thing you need in life.
You got married to him(again) and you've never been so happy until you've meet him, now he belongs to you....
He never looked back and loved you to the end....
:::: If You didn't lose your memory. It could have ended different.
Two broken souls.
::: In that story. There is a chance of restoration and another chance of re building innocence and pure sweetness in the relationship.
No bitter memories to overcome, just LOVE....
_______________
Is it wrong? No.
Worth a try? To me, i dare not. But then again, why not?
Personally, i wouldn't choose to give the 'right' answer like - if i forget, i'll never learn. This answers are good answers.
But for a personal opinion, i would ask - What would i lose in this lost?
Would i lose the ability to love the girl i've been loving? Would i
OR
What if my ex whom i love so much comes back and i forgot about her???
Fear of lost.
:::nonetheless, it'll be another kind of experience if we have this ability to erase our past.
p.s sorry ah. I'm not a good storyteller. Yunnie still does a better job.
Cheers! -
No.Originally posted by rainee:I especially like this quote by Alexander Pope:
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned"
If you are given a chance, would you erase the painful memories of your past? Cos once you forget, you will be able to move on again with your life.[/i]
The painful memories are here to stay. -
You don't have to forget. Just be ignorant.
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maybe but no for the time being XD
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Originally posted by rainee:I especially like this quote by Alexander Pope:
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned"
If you are given a chance, would you erase the painful memories of your past? Cos once you forget, you will be able to move on again with your life.[/i]