how to save a rushed courtship?
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ok i was chasing a girl.
her friends told me i was too rush.
like always i didnt know what was too rush.
now that i realised it. it is too late.
just a while ago, her friend gave me the most obvious hint.
she suggested that i talk to the girl face to face.
there are somethings her friend cannot say out.
her friend also invited me to her house on sat.
the girl is going too.
she said i had best talk to her after sat. take things slow and easy.
or else sat when i go, things will get very awkward.
ok. guys, time to teach me how to save this rushed courtship.
thanks...this girl means quite alot to me. i have done things i never done before for her. now that i realised this. i regret being so hasty. -
You've just answered your own question my friend. Just take it easy, nothing wrong with chilling and being friends... if the time is right you can try to be closer.Originally posted by bladez87:ok i was chasing a girl.
her friends told me i was too rush.
like always i didnt know what was too rush.
now that i realised it. it is too late.
just a while ago, her friend gave me the most obvious hint.
she suggested that i talk to the girl face to face.
there are somethings her friend cannot say out.
her friend also invited me to her house on sat.
the girl is going too.
she said i had best talk to her after sat. take things slow and easy.
or else sat when i go, things will get very awkward.
ok. guys, time to teach me how to save this rushed courtship.
thanks...this girl means quite alot to me. i have done things i never done before for her. now that i realised this. i regret being so hasty. -
haiz...
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help!!! please!!!
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too rush as in u confess u like her very early?
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actuali u answered ur question... take it easy lor.... u didnt provide much details to how it was too hasty so we reali cant help with much advise
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as in, everything happened too fast.
she knew i liked her even before we went out the first time.
and after the first time...lets say we met up almost daily, almost la.
then talk on msn almost daily.
then last week i gave her stars.
i only confessed my feelings last sunday.
and by last friday, i screwed everything up.
she told me i got chance last sun.
her friends said she got good impression of me.
then just now, her best friend said i had best talk it out with her.
communication breakdown with her. i was too rushed. rushing her.
her bestfriend also hinted that i ruined everything up.
said there are somethings, she cant say as a friend, arbo people think she sowing discord between me and the girl.
HOW!!! i very sad now. i realised or i think i did too late.
truth be it, i only know her for like 1 month plus...haiz...and we went out for the first time on the 3rd week. and it progressed nicely, until last week. when everything overshot. last thurs already something wrong. last fri confirm liao. today was the revelation from her friend. -
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mc2 HELP!!! pleaseeeeeOriginally posted by M©+square: -
From the topic title, it shows that you want to save this courtship, not relationship. Totally different ball game.Originally posted by bladez87:mc2 HELP!!! pleaseeeee
You can't do anything until you meet her up and talk.
If she likes you, you still have the chance. But she dont? You'll also need to take a step back.
______________________________
I've told you before le...
I think you should learn your lesson this time and think through what i've told you. Gain experience from it and do better next time.
Cheers -
you too rushed until make the girl uncomfortable. Now the girl thinks you are a nuisance. And scare of you liao.
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Originally posted by bladez87:ok i was chasing a girl.
her friends told me i was too rush.
like always i didnt know what was too rush.
now that i realised it. it is too late.
just a while ago, her friend gave me the most obvious hint.
she suggested that i talk to the girl face to face.
there are somethings her friend cannot say out.
her friend also invited me to her house on sat.
the girl is going too.
she said i had best talk to her after sat. take things slow and easy.
or else sat when i go, things will get very awkward.
ok. guys, time to teach me how to save this rushed courtship.
thanks...this girl means quite alot to me. i have done things i never done before for her. now that i realised this. i regret being so hasty.
CloUdiSm speaks about Morning Foundation; referring to relationship born on weak 'materials' prepared hastily. The relationship is extremely raw and vulnerable, even to a scratch and is usually caused by Uranus transiting effect.
I recommend setting your pace slower, but not abandoning the initial drive completely because chances are, it will have adverse effect if you jam brake. In simple, don't pause and give her all the freewill and space, instead give allowance, but maintain your stand. In reality, this 'mistake' is pretty fatal because even if you succeeded in getting her, negative unseen effect will spill over into your BGR. You don't really experience this negativity head-on, rather, it is likely be a highest common factor that give rise to later conflicts and issues.
Go with the plan; meet up at your friend's house (and especially watch your body language: Don't be so eager - don't gaze, but maintain good friendship contact. Care physical distance - don't avoid, yet don't hang too close). Plan what you want to say to her. Here are some pointers to take note:
I) Don't get too emotional. Wild emotions are like untamed stallions - they are dangerous. Judging you from my perspective, you are probably someone who can't control emotions well, so don't get into a situation where you get all emotional and loses your position. You must control your stance properly if you hope to achieve anything.
Appear professional even if you know nothing.
II) Less of 'Me' and more of 'You' type of communication. Yes, I know you love her, etc - but it's all self absorbed. You must devise a way to allow her (even if it is only an illusion) to think that she has some freewill in making decisions and that the choice she make (which is you) is a good decision BECAUSE you made her feel that it it will be.
Basically, your 'hard selling' must succeed in persuading her.
III) State timing to counter indecisiveness. If you sense that she is backing out with confusion, put time into the picture. (E.g. Yes, we understand that things are getting too fast, we shall give ourselves another 30 days to decide).
Knowing how to sell is useless if you don't know how to close the deal.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
sounds pro? how many girls u cheat before???? CloUdiSm speaks about Morning Foundation; referring to relationship born on weak 'materials' prepared hastily. The relationship is extremely raw and vulnerable, even to a scratch and is usually caused by Uranus transiting effect.
I recommend setting your pace slower, but not abandoning the initial drive completely because chances are, it will have adverse effect if you jam brake. In simple, don't pause and give her all the freewill and space, instead give allowance, but maintain your stand. In reality, this 'mistake' is pretty fatal because even if you succeeded in getting her, negative unseen effect will spill over into your BGR. You don't really experience this negativity head-on, rather, it is likely be a highest common factor that give rise to later conflicts and issues.
Go with the plan; meet up at your friend's house (and especially watch your body language: Don't be so eager - don't gaze, but maintain good friendship contact. Care physical distance - don't avoid, yet don't hang too close). Plan what you want to say to her. Here are some pointers to take note:
I) Don't get too emotional. Wild emotions are like untamed stallions - they are dangerous. Judging you from my perspective, you are probably someone who can't control emotions well, so don't get into a situation where you get all emotional and loses your position. You must control your stance properly if you hope to achieve anything.
[b]Appear professional even if you know nothing.
II) Less of 'Me' and more of 'You' type of communication. Yes, I know you love her, etc - but it's all self absorbed. You must devise a way to allow her (even if it is only an illusion) to think that she has some freewill in making decisions and that the choice she make (which is you) is a good decision BECAUSE you made her feel that it it will be.
Basically, your 'hard selling' must succeed in persuading her.
III) State timing to counter indecisiveness. If you sense that she is backing out with confusion, put time into the picture. (E.g. Yes, we understand that things are getting too fast, we shall give ourselves another 30 days to decide).
Knowing how to sell is useless if you don't know how to close the deal.
Cheers [/b]
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i tot she's a female..?Originally posted by binZ:sounds pro? how many girls u cheat before???? 
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Originally posted by bladez87:haiz...
even online forum also u rush! how to help you like this.Originally posted by bladez87:help!!! please!!! -
Originally posted by sinicker:even online forum also u rush! how to help you like this.
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no not only this courtship, i want to save this relationship also. but it aint a relationship until it progress there from courtship right?Originally posted by M©+square:From the topic title, it shows that you want to save this courtship, not relationship. Totally different ball game.
You can't do anything until you meet her up and talk.
If she likes you, you still have the chance. But she dont? You'll also need to take a step back.
______________________________
I've told you before le...
I think you should learn your lesson this time and think through what i've told you. Gain experience from it and do better next time.
Cheers -
Wtf?Originally posted by binZ:sounds pro? how many girls u cheat before????
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
aunty yun the best sia. lol. give sooooo indepth stuff. i have a hard time understanding. but if it is so easy to understand, how useful can it get? haha. thanks. but the less of me and more of you type of communication...very hard. i cant get her to talk more about herself. CloUdiSm speaks about Morning Foundation; referring to relationship born on weak 'materials' prepared hastily. The relationship is extremely raw and vulnerable, even to a scratch and is usually caused by Uranus transiting effect.
I recommend setting your pace slower, but not abandoning the initial drive completely because chances are, it will have adverse effect if you jam brake. In simple, don't pause and give her all the freewill and space, instead give allowance, but maintain your stand. In reality, this 'mistake' is pretty fatal because even if you succeeded in getting her, negative unseen effect will spill over into your BGR. You don't really experience this negativity head-on, rather, it is likely be a highest common factor that give rise to later conflicts and issues.
Go with the plan; meet up at your friend's house (and especially watch your body language: Don't be so eager - don't gaze, but maintain good friendship contact. Care physical distance - don't avoid, yet don't hang too close). Plan what you want to say to her. Here are some pointers to take note:
I) Don't get too emotional. Wild emotions are like untamed stallions - they are dangerous. Judging you from my perspective, you are probably someone who can't control emotions well, so don't get into a situation where you get all emotional and loses your position. You must control your stance properly if you hope to achieve anything.
[b]Appear professional even if you know nothing.
II) Less of 'Me' and more of 'You' type of communication. Yes, I know you love her, etc - but it's all self absorbed. You must devise a way to allow her (even if it is only an illusion) to think that she has some freewill in making decisions and that the choice she make (which is you) is a good decision BECAUSE you made her feel that it it will be.
Basically, your 'hard selling' must succeed in persuading her.
III) State timing to counter indecisiveness. If you sense that she is backing out with confusion, put time into the picture. (E.g. Yes, we understand that things are getting too fast, we shall give ourselves another 30 days to decide).
Knowing how to sell is useless if you don't know how to close the deal.
Cheers [/b]
and decisions, so far when we go out, most of the decisions are made by her. -
time not on my side ma! must faster remedy the situation before it worsen.Originally posted by sinicker:even online forum also u rush! how to help you like this. -
saturday is still 4 days away, u noe?Originally posted by bladez87:time not on my side ma! must faster remedy the situation before it worsen. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:Wtf?
Cheers
cheers~ -
female also can cheat female de mah... >.<Originally posted by HolySniper:i tot she's a female..? -
Bladez.Originally posted by bladez87:no not only this courtship, i want to save this relationship also. but it aint a relationship until it progress there from courtship right?
In this world. It's not only about girls and BGRs.
____________________
re·la·tion·ship Pronunciation (r-lshn-shp)
n.
1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.
4. A romantic or sexual involvement.
Let's say your best friend (guy) is beaten up by a group of guys, would you intervene the fight?
If you do, it only mean the relationship between your best friend and you is close.
A poor mother sacrifices her meals for her son, because she doesn't want her son to go hungry.
It's the relationship which surpasses beyond courtship.
Sometimes we thought we have done alot for the girl and stuff, and felt like it's unbearable.
Maybe we haven't realise what our parents did for us.
(Don't have to take this part into consideration. It's my personal thought)
Cheers -
U made a few mistakes.. Im sorry to say that u may have little chance of saving it once u made mistakes with gals.Originally posted by bladez87:as in, everything happened too fast.
she knew i liked her even before we went out the first time.
and after the first time...lets say we met up almost daily, almost la.
then talk on msn almost daily.
then last week i gave her stars.
i only confessed my feelings last sunday.
and by last friday, i screwed everything up.
she told me i got chance last sun.
her friends said she got good impression of me.
then just now, her best friend said i had best talk it out with her.
communication breakdown with her. i was too rushed. rushing her.
her bestfriend also hinted that i ruined everything up.
said there are somethings, she cant say as a friend, arbo people think she sowing discord between me and the girl.
HOW!!! i very sad now. i realised or i think i did too late.
truth be it, i only know her for like 1 month plus...haiz...and we went out for the first time on the 3rd week. and it progressed nicely, until last week. when everything overshot. last thurs already something wrong. last fri confirm liao. today was the revelation from her friend.
1st, u said she knew u liked her. U cud have acted in a way that suggests that u are not interested in her. Talk to her other friends instead of her only.
Then u said u met up almost everyday. So whos the one making the appointments? U or her? Or is it a group outing? It's already hard to tell if a gal is interested in u in a one-on-one outing, let alone group outing.
U made a bad move by talking to her on MSN. U seem like u are too eager to strike a conversation with her dude. Play it cool. U seem despo. Don't talk to her everytime u see her online. And don't talk to her for so long in MSN. Don't act like u come online jus to talk to her.
U said u confessed ur feelings. Dude, bad move again. Don't act like u are so desperate for her even if u are inside. U confessed in the hope of getting her..but u know what? It turns her off! So next time u see a gal u like, dun ever confess to her. U have to see if she really likes u!
So what even if she ''says'' has a good impression of u? What she says may not be what she really means. She can have a good impression of many guys..but it does not mean she likes u!
Hey, here's what u can do:
Option 1: Don't go her friend's house. Don't act like u are so desperate to see her. Say u got plans. Don't give her a call or sms her. Don't talk to her online.
Don't do anything. Give her a chance to breathe.(Highly recommended)
Option 2: Go to her friend's house. Talk to her but make it a very brief conversation. Then talk to other gals also. Talk to other people. Then leave the house early. Say u are busy and got to go. And same thing, dun contact her anymore.
Give her space!