how to save a rushed courtship?
-
He won't do what you've suggested. 100%Originally posted by dokono:Hey, here's what u can do:
Option 1: Don't go her friend's house. Don't act like u are so desperate to see her. Say u got plans. Don't give her a call or sms her. Don't talk to her online.
Don't do anything. Give her a chance to breathe.(Highly recommended)
Option 2: Go to her friend's house. Talk to her but make it a very brief conversation. Then talk to other gals also. Talk to other people. Then leave the house early. Say u are busy and got to go. And same thing, dun contact her anymore.
Give her space!
Cheers -
It's up to him to follow. Once a gal dislikes u, it's time to withdraw ur approach and maintain as friends. If he wants the gal to even avoid him, he can continue to pester her.
Unless he likes to be labelled as the dreaded 'stalker'. -
you know me too well. wahaha.Originally posted by M©+square:He won't do what you've suggested. 100%
Cheers
i didnt have to confess, she knew it. -
how did she know? u were not tactical enuff?
-
ya my actions were very obvious. everyone knew i like her. first time i went out with her, it was her who asked. others were made mostly by me. sometimes her friends ask me join them. sometimes we went out 1 to 1, sometimes in a group, sometimes group then become 1to1. some of the times we met in school so i can help her with her project.Originally posted by dokono:U made a few mistakes.. Im sorry to say that u may have little chance of saving it once u made mistakes with gals.
1st, u said she knew u liked her. U cud have acted in a way that suggests that u are not interested in her. Talk to her other friends instead of her only.
Then u said u met up almost everyday. So whos the one making the appointments? U or her? Or is it a group outing? It's already hard to tell if a gal is interested in u in a one-on-one outing, let alone group outing.
U made a bad move by talking to her on MSN. U seem like u are too eager to strike a conversation with her dude. Play it cool. U seem despo. Don't talk to her everytime u see her online. And don't talk to her for so long in MSN. Don't act like u come online jus to talk to her.
U said u confessed ur feelings. Dude, bad move again. Don't act like u are so desperate for her even if u are inside. U confessed in the hope of getting her..but u know what? It turns her off! So next time u see a gal u like, dun ever confess to her. U have to see if she really likes u!
So what even if she ''says'' has a good impression of u? What she says may not be what she really means. She can have a good impression of many guys..but it does not mean she likes u!
Hey, here's what u can do:
Option 1: Don't go her friend's house. Don't act like u are so desperate to see her. Say u got plans. Don't give her a call or sms her. Don't talk to her online.
Don't do anything. Give her a chance to breathe.(Highly recommended)
Option 2: Go to her friend's house. Talk to her but make it a very brief conversation. Then talk to other gals also. Talk to other people. Then leave the house early. Say u are busy and got to go. And same thing, dun contact her anymore.
Give her space!
msn part, ya i admit i was super eager. we started out having fun talking, videoing and webcam.
her friends said she had a good impression of me. and thus they were willing to help me chase her. but i blew it.ya i knew good impression =/= like.
both options...haha. logically thinking, very good. emotionally thinking, very bad. thanks for your help. i shall take it into serious consideration -
Yes control ur emotions . If u do that she will respect u.
What do u mean u blew it up? Can u give me any egs? -
i scared her off with my rushness and hastiness?ya lor...
-
then play it cool for now.
Courtship is a marathon, not a race. Take it slow and easy.
If she likes u she will let u know. -
point taken.Originally posted by dokono:then play it cool for now.
Courtship is a marathon, not a race. Take it slow and easy.
If she likes u she will let u know.
was supposed to meet her this week for project. now i cancel le. i do it for her.without meeting her. now in school doing it.
my birthday next week on 8. i wanted ask her out. now i think i should abolish the idea? -
Let her ask you out...Originally posted by bladez87:point taken.
was supposed to meet her this week for project. now i cancel le. i do it for her.without meeting her. now in school doing it.
my birthday next week on 8. i wanted ask her out. now i think i should abolish the idea? Sounds like a long shot... but... 
-
everyone who is nice enough to help me pray for that to happen. thanks!
-
mc2. you know what. i think i will do just what you all suggested. so far my decisions have always been a mistake. hopefully by listening to you all, i might still stand a chance next time. going to continue waiting for her though...
-
My guess is that she probably likes ur looks initially but does not know abt ur personality until u come and rush into her which turns her off.Originally posted by bladez87:point taken.
was supposed to meet her this week for project. now i cancel le. i do it for her.without meeting her. now in school doing it.
my birthday next week on 8. i wanted ask her out. now i think i should abolish the idea?
If u really wanted to see her so much, why not suggest a group outing on ur birthday instead? But from her actions it shows that she's been turned off, which is hard to get her out.
If she seems hesitant like ''busy'' without giving any excuse or ''let me think abt it'' or some other excuses, i suggest u shd forget abt wooing her becos u are just wasting ur time. -
dun waste ur time waiting for her la..go look for other galsOriginally posted by bladez87:mc2. you know what. i think i will do just what you all suggested. so far my decisions have always been a mistake. hopefully by listening to you all, i might still stand a chance next time. going to continue waiting for her though...
The truth is that no matter how long u wait for a gal, once she gets turned off by ur actions she will never ever be intereseted in u again. Be ready to accept this real-world situation.
Who knows the next gal who comes along u will be interested haha. -
Do what you think is good for you. AA is opened for you.Originally posted by bladez87:mc2. you know what. i think i will do just what you all suggested. so far my decisions have always been a mistake. hopefully by listening to you all, i might still stand a chance next time. going to continue waiting for her though...
Cheers -
i got no looks to begin with. wahaha. group outing with who? her friends or my friends? ya she is quite turned off la.Originally posted by dokono:My guess is that she probably likes ur looks initially but does not know abt ur personality until u come and rush into her which turns her off.
If u really wanted to see her so much, why not suggest a group outing on ur birthday instead? But from her actions it shows that she's been turned off, which is hard to get her out.
If she seems hesitant like ''busy'' without giving any excuse or ''let me think abt it'' or some other excuses, i suggest u shd forget abt wooing her becos u are just wasting ur time.
hopefully things dont fall until that extend where she avoids me ba. i will not give up on her ba. waste of time? maybe but who call me to like her. i shall not ask her out.
i think i wait for her to ask me out? if she does i of course will be happy. if not i shall just leave her alone for a while? like a few weeks or 1 month? -
dunno abt the rest but generally... gals won't like/appreciate desperate/ganjiong guys.. unless u enjoy being stepped on like a carpet?
Muz act cool (not dao hor) & have patience. Can show ur concern but don't be too possessive or do super extra things to piss her off. Small acts @ the right time can touch her heart too. Slow & steady wins the race.. -
my choices always seemed wrong. i shall listen to you guys this time...because i cant keep repeating my mistakes. especially on this girl.Originally posted by M©+square:Do what you think is good for you. AA is opened for you.
Cheers -
of cos go out with friends she knows la and of cos her buddies.Originally posted by bladez87:i got no looks to begin with. wahaha. group outing with who? her friends or my friends? ya she is quite turned off la.
hopefully things dont fall until that extend where she avoids me ba. i will not give up on her ba. waste of time? maybe but who call me to like her. i shall not ask her out.
i think i wait for her to ask me out? if she does i of course will be happy. if not i shall just leave her alone for a while? like a few weeks or 1 month?
If u dun give up on her u are giving up on the abundance of gals out there for u dude.
if she is turned off, even if u wait for 100 years she wun go out la. -
Would you believe me if i say you can't keep up to what you say now?Originally posted by bladez87:my choices always seemed wrong. i shall listen to you guys this time...because i cant keep repeating my mistakes. especially on this girl.
You'll go weak if she respond in your favour.
Maybe this might seem a mockery from what others will interprete.
Let this post be a awareness for you.
Cheers -
how long you want me to act cool?Originally posted by M©+square:Would you believe me if i say you can't keep up to what you say now?
You'll go weak if she respond in your favour.
Maybe this might seem a mockery from what others will interprete.
Let this post be a awareness for you.
Cheers -
my friend said, if i dont want to give up. i had best leave her alone for some time, like 1month or so? then slowly start talking to her again. but must take it slow and easy. you think i can do it? you think this idea will work? this is a long term plan. short term plan i still dont know how. wahaha...
except that sat i go to her friend house, i will mix with the rest too. i will try and forget i like her and just treat her as a friend.
then for my birthday, if she dont ask me out, i shall not ask her out too.
valentine day...i think i should just forget about it too.
then see how? i will constantly update this thread.
just got the song she wanted so much. should i send her tonight? just send and not talk? haiz... when it comes to this kind of problems, my super indecisiveness shows all. -
nah dun have to send even if she requested for it..
jus go online and allow her to initiate the conversation first.
if not nvm. -
You can't be totally wrong since they also mentioned that you're earning good impression of this girl...?Originally posted by bladez87:my choices always seemed wrong. i shall listen to you guys this time...because i cant keep repeating my mistakes. especially on this girl.
Try 'APOLOGISING' to her at your friend's house... Let her know how you feel and you're sorry for any awkardness that you might be causing her... Hopefully she's respond and open up in chatting more in how she might be feeling...? -
I don't want anything from you, I stand neutral between views of Yun and Dokome.Originally posted by bladez87:how long you want me to act cool?
You should decide and stop asking people to help you in all the details.
Got to learn why you lose the bait to the fish and how you catch the fish.
Cheers