how to save a rushed courtship?
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im not scared leh.Originally posted by M©+square:Last year le.
So many ppl so scared to meet me.
Cheers
quite curious abt u de.
my dear got meet u before or not? -
Your dear Coolger03? You ask her lor.Originally posted by browniebaobao:im not scared leh.
quite curious abt u de.
my dear got meet u before or not?
You curious about Jason or Yunnie can le la....
I'm very average Joe.
Cheerz..........sob..... -
Think and you shall become.Originally posted by bladez87:thank you da jia for your support and understanding. this little boy here is growing up. at least that is what he thinks. next week his birthday liao. 19 yo still acting like a stupid boy who refuses to learn. haiz...
Keep thinking you are stupid and you will not have the confidence to do anything.
Keep thinking in a positive manner and you will be formidable.
In your case, you left the ball in her court way too early.
You have lost control of the situation long ago. There is no point worrying about it.
What can you do now?
Stop giving yourself too much pressure about what you are going to do to make her happy. She is not the priority in your life.
About the party...the only decision you need to make is whether you are capable of enjoying yourself if you go.
If you think you are going to enjoy yourself there...why not? Just go and treat all the girls the same way. Meeting new people is a good idea afterall.
Your aim is to enjoy the process of learning.
I think your attitude towards relationship is good, but you need more confidence and need to do some things slightly differently.
Stop blaming yourself.
Remember this; think and you shall become.
take care -
one is so far away.. the other one is duno male or female.Originally posted by M©+square:Your dear Coolger03? You ask her lor.
You curious about Jason or Yunnie can le la....
I'm very average Joe.
Cheerz..........sob.....
orh i ask my dear.. -
So this case is close already? Sort of think this is the only possible outcome that could have happened...Dun worry, u will learn from the mistakes you made....
You nv know what may happen in the future...Who knows u 2 may meet again next time and when both of u are mature enough there may be a diff outcome? Cheers -
na bei.. see girls only nia??Originally posted by M©+square:I don't know what to say about you, i did offered to meet you up. But you shy here shy there and don't want la...
Hai, now you say things which condemn yourself.
Cheers
why nv see me??? u shy too?
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Originally posted by M©+square:Last year le.
So many ppl so scared to meet me.
Cheers
Me not scared.... -
Don't anyhow push and put my name hor...Originally posted by M©+square:Your dear Coolger03? You ask her lor.
You curious about Jason or Yunnie can le la....
I'm very average Joe.
Cheerz..........sob.....
Cheers -
ok! i moved on le.
thanks for your help people!
her friend told me, that she initially got a little feeling for me. touched by my actions. but later she started finding me irritating around last thurs. the climax came last night, when i threatened her. yup. wrong move wrong things wrong time.
she ignoring me now.
but at least i learnt what happened. thanks people. -
bladez87 = girl?Originally posted by binZ:na bei.. see girls only nia??
why nv see me??? u shy too? -
hi s.. know who i am ma? sorry to hijack your topic but i facing similar problem now.. i want ask ah how to jio a guy.. as in i interested in him then i got try talking to him and stuff but i think i also rushing it a little.. then scared he think im desperate.. but im not i only want get to know him better first.. so how what should i do in my case? do the same rules apply towards guys? thanks for advice..
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i am lost. tomorrow my birthday. i tried to ask her out. she sounded very cold.
i dont know what to do now. haiz... -
Do nothing. She hates you. Forget about her.
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Wa sey...heartless sia...Will hurt him u know....Originally posted by choco B:Do nothing. She hates you. Forget about her.
Anyway, not much advice can give at the moment...Like yuan fen already gone liao...Time 2 say the dreaded word...Haizz... -
ya lor. haiz...
i am so lost. no words can express how i feel. -
cant seem to be able to not think of her. haiz...
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Relax pal...I understand how u feel...It really sucks when u think of that person every second and you really want to see her so much...Even hearing her voice you also happy....But in the end, you realise there's nothing you can do...Originally posted by bladez87:cant seem to be able to not think of her. haiz...
What i can advise is to go out with your friends and do things which you liked...like your hobbies or what...If you wanna be alone, do something also, like play games or what...Can prevent your mind from wandering....As for what more can you do regarding you and her, i don't know le...Maybe others can give more advice....Cheers...Life's too short to be unhappy le... -
haiz. what i wanted to do without her also cant be done. thought of going sparring tomorrow. sad case is my cca not on tomorrow. haiz. now play game also think of her. in too deep liao. what to do...what to do...how how how. haiz.
i hate that word, how. because it shows how helpless one can be at times...haiz. -
heys.. sorry to hijack this thread blade. sigh.. i have visited this forum for so long.. loved surfing around, lots of interesting stuff for me to comment, but nothing like this one. i m really close to tears. i can't help but dump my work aside and just post here. really my case is worse than yours.. im so glad that urs has ended so soon. for me.. i guess i have to really get over it. i guess all guys go thru this stage. what hurts most is that the sincerity/love is never reciprocated. your first love is gone. thats the case for me.. worst.. it has gone on since the start of last year.. i really really hate the position i m in now. maybe this is a rant, but it is a good place to rant. maybe just a warning to others too.. my story is really exactly like yours. crush, rush, but then with more rushing, confessing, braking, stupid apologies, attention giving. like u guys said, it seriously killed the seduction.
we probably started out the same. crush blah blah. already 5 months into the year. we did not spend much time with each other cos we have our own cliques after all, nor gone on dates, yet we still shared a lot of fun moments playing sports.. studying together outside of school hours. msn chats into the night. rumors aflying. but i guess i was exactly like you blade.. way too rushed. declared my feelings after that 5 months. at first it was really rejected.. she wanted friendship. but then she changed her mind, sent me such a mind-numbing email that she actually lied. i was in ecstacy really.. my best days yet. in just one week things took for the worst. sighhh.. she just started ignoring me cos maybe i was too possesive.. i wanted to show all my care and concern for her. just give her my all to show her. yet the stupid BOY in us overtakes us. i felt dumb. stupid. FELT SO SORRY to her although i did not know what i did wrong. then sent her yet another email that i would stop all these.. and i was sorry.. sorry.. blah blah blah. of course she remained cold and even read it only like a few days later. guess that was the stupid jam brake i took. really dumb.. wish i did not let go of her. yet this feeling of regret is killing me. it has tortured me since that day. but wait.. the story is not even over.
overall, she just gave me mixed signals. BAD. mostly on her blog. i was.. such a dumb arse thinking too much. i couldn't get over her at all. 5 months is not that a short period right? maybe 2 more months after that, i really wanted to set things straight. i asked.. and asked... only got half-hearted answers. i guess im a dumb$@#. the subtle rejections went on for maybe 5 more times. all these times i was really dedicated to her. but i might have seemed desperate. sigh. and yet her rejection to me was followed by more intense blogging directed to me about all kinds of stuff... stuff that would make me not give her up.. cos she had feelings for me. everytime she gave me that kind of signal, i just felt 10x more dedicated to chase her.
i can't elaborate more. lets just say i told myself in my mind that i would never ever give her up maybe 10 times.. i was given mixed signals all the while.. been deluded whatever. all because of that mistake of not taking things slowly.. of chasing her. i believed i only needed sincerity. at that time of the year, people were already being steady. maybe that led to my belief. all i wanted was to be sincere, yet girls are like that.. they don't mean what they say. sigh. i oso did dumb things for her. far worse than stars sort of. besides Vdays.. bday presents.. i even did a stitch for her, wrote a 5 page long sincere letter to her. just describing everything that i felt. all that i felt thruout that one year. of course this happened this year. and then the crushing blow which i just REFUSE TO BELIEVE. she wrote that she was like never interested in me? that she never referred to me in her blog? im quite crushed now.. can't believe 1 year of futility just like that. to this day i just adore her. everything about her is beautiful, yet i have to see her everyday. it is really torturing my to put on a false front. on one hand i want to love her and not pester her like i surely would have by being aggressive. yet on the other hand i want to shout and scream at her for leading me on, or just go on my knees and ask for forgiveness (which maybe iis too rushed and dumb) for another chance. i really don't know.. its killing me... the past one year she SURELY must have known my feelings, yet now her heart is as hard as stone, as cold as ice. talks to me like a normal friend. but always giving my that secret peep off her eyes now and then. i don't know what to do. i don't believe that she has no interest at all.. i don't want to just stop things because i know things willl not happen naturally now. yet i don't want to hurt her. things are going fine for her. shes studying much harder now.. things are goign alright for her. she doesn't seem to need me. yet now i need her the most.. the most....
thru all these u all might think that i only think of myself. that is simply not the case at all. lets just say those periods of rejection was when she was at her lowest. i could really tell. i told myself over and over again that it was not about me but about us. i was over the idea of a glam relationship, for lust or whatever. i just wanted to give my love, share my life with someone. i wanted to really be with her and lift her up. yet things are the reverse now. i can't possible spill everything that has happened to me can i? why do girls seem fickle minded all the time.. why?!!
sorry.. this is aunt agony after all. may all guys in the world grow up learning from their experiences. glad for u blade.. hope u can get over her asap.. really lots of girls out there for you and me. but given my circumstances, now i only want one girl. i don't know when i can get that out of my head when it is being tested every single day. if i got a dollar for everytime i thought of her, i would like be a millionaire.
i guess its true.. nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai. bad guy not bad, women no love.
i WISH for a world in which only sincerity was all that mattered. i hate the superficiality of chasing girls.. putting on false fronts. i don't mind the effort put into girls, but really why can't things be simple? why do things have to be learnt the hard way? -
i so sad le...still tio hijacked!
tian ah! -
o well hope ur feeling better.
haha.. at least u learnt it the easier way than me. but i guess i can't compare it like that
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haiz.
this girl. changed me alot.
seriously alot alot.
not even my ex change me this much.
for this girl, anything also can.
but i guess, i gave too much.
i thought sincerity is what mattered.
i am very sincere. but you know.i dont feel like being with her anymore. i just want to return to the times before. just having fun on msn with her. chatting and stuff.
later i shall write everything down. then let her read this thread tomorrow. -
be careful tho.. dun rush into letting her see this haha! maybe if u love her u don't want her to worry about u too...
all i have to say is.. u will always have a chance lah
if u act "dao" to her.. u might just make her fall for u again. its hard to explain.. sigh. but it can work. after that will be tricky tho -
nope.
she wanted to see this thread a long time liao.
maybe not good to show her. maybe good. i dont know.
but i dont like to hide nor lie to her.
what she wants, i try my best to give. haiz...now that you mentioned it. i hesitate liao... -
Hmm, one way I find it useful is to try to like her in another way. Since is unable to like her as a gf why not like her as a good friend? I can still stay by her side, lend her my support when needed, stand by her when she is down, and still have fun chatting and going out with her. Though the level of closeness is not there, but it's still alot better than the cold barriers that she puts up to limit contacts with me when she knows that I'm still courting her.
Like what Dokono said to me a few pages back:
Let go, we have to let go. Even though how we hated to do it but we still have to face it sooner or later.