**Sry I need to let it out**
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give each other some time.
he could be facing stress for all u know..
y not try asking his family members whether anything happened to him recently? -
aye.. i cannot comment coz' like not enough details.
he may be experiencing stress from some problems which you and his family doesnt know. maybe he doesnt even want to tell you guys coz' he doesnt want to trouble you? -
hmm, is there some missing info about him we're supposed to know?
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K...I try to tellu abit more...his ex has been sending me emails and harassing me abt last time u know i got pregnant and had to abort because one of my twin boys had alittle abnormal head growth...she say things like "haha like mother like son rite" etc...that one never mind. I just tell him a little bit abt it and he can't do anything also rite?
But everytime when i want to talk abt it i try not to because he book out on weekends...u know just make it happy and forget abt things..but sometimes at night u know when hes asleep i get very frustrated when im alone and cant sleep...like i don't like to hate people and everything la maybe shes still young..but everything i store inside me also no good..i called samaritans to talk but they cant do much also..
then his best friend's gf also keep talking abt his ex..they were gd friends last time la so she just say like that...then i told him abt it and he just get angry with me...saying im a bi-tch all that saying stuff abt her.. i wanted to confront the girl but shes very sensitive last time i tried i almost made her cry...i put it across very nicely too..hai...i dont hate her u know...i just want her to watch her mouth abit more...but i know if i make her cry no matter how i put it to her...everybody will blame me...sian..
He has everything lo...parents, car, ok army life...he wants anything he gets...then if somethinggoes wrong he blames the crap out of me. Say everything is me me me...i talk nicely also cannot...don't even mention these issues man..like other things...hows his day etc...last time he has alot to say to me..now its like..we can keep silent on the phone for more than 5 minutes...ten minutes..half hour also can. I wonder is it really me or what? -
why do you want to be with a guy like this?
At first when I read your first post, I thought he might be suffering from depression. But when I read your second post, I think this guy has BIG issues. He seems very young too, still in NS? Are you sure you want to settle down with a person like this? -
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I dont think you are a burden to anyone simply cos you have problems. But i do think you got the answer there. What you don't need is MORE problems - and ur bf seems to be giving you more problems. Don't stay with a person simply cos you invested a lot of time/effort/sacrifices in a relationship already - no point right? Maybe you need some time apart for you and him to both sort out your own issues, and see clearly if he (and you) are the person you(he) want to be in a relationship with.Originally posted by AshedAnna:i shouldn't have a bf should sort out my life first...so i won't be a burden because i feel like a damn idiotic burden. but breaking up is not the pt...like he will blame me for everything...i don't want that...im equally tired putting up with his mcp attitude... -
AshedAnna, your case sounds familiar.
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??Originally posted by LazerLordz:AshedAnna, your case sounds familiar. -
Hmm... Just as I've suspected...?
Mmm...
Have you wonder why he has changed so much...? Even of how you've been... How YOU THINK yuo have changed much for the better... Why is he still like that...? Why are you still longing...? Looking out for...? Blaming him for....?
Based on 'surface analysis'... I SUSPECT you've contributed much to result in the change in him... But I really can't be too sure... I know too little about him to comment if it's his nature or anything... But from the outlook of things, you're certainly quite a slice of the pie...
And BASED on the CURRENT situation... It's... BAD...? The picture is probably something like this... You bringing in a change in him (at least patrial factor?), resulting in him (changed)... And this current 'him' who shows you NO LOVE and a BIG DIFFERENCE from the past is a BIG 'NO NO' for you... Causing you to further 'LOST YOUR HEAD'.... Asking yourself "What went wrong?" Somehow you've figured that something cannot happen for nothing... And you really do very much wish to have the old him back... 2 things to note here...
1. You might be doing it the wrong way... Do you often complain ALOT to him, comments and b|tch around things...?
2. If you ain't doing the above things (which I doubt so), then you really be TOO SOFT and MELLOW in this relationship... And he's probably EATING INTO YOU in this relationship....
But DO READ CAREFULLY on the 2 different scenerios I've posted above as they're VERY DIFFERENT PICTURES.. THINK through it CAREFULLY and let me in the FACTS... REMEMBER. No EGO, STUBBORNNESS or ANYTHING like that... Afterall it's YOUR RELATIONSHIP you're trying to SAVE...
If you're not honest with me and yourself... I'm afraid I can't help you...? -
Only you can help yourself.Originally posted by AshedAnna:I've tried to talk to him...but he either keeps quiet and stares at me like hes brain dead and i feel stupid to continue talking...or he just gets damn angry....its always my fault man...then if i take time off...wonder how he'll treat me...i mean will he put in at least a little bit of effort ? and respect me just a little bit? unless im so damn ugly to the pt where everything i do or say is irritating..hai...(www.theapplezapple.blogspot.com)maybe u can read my blog and tell me more...
no one can help you.
Is not they never try but will you listern?
Honestly lar do you really think he will change?
No he is bottling everything up rite now and will blow up soon mark my words.
You want him to change ?
First change yourself,
looking back at the past will not change anything.
Be nice to him. thats all.
cook something nice for him.
or just simply shut up
is just that simple ...
guys hate girls talking so much
let him have some peace for once.
I know deep in your heart you love him but your actions is driving him nuts. -
i dunno him. i dunno u.
just read thru ur blog a lil..
after all that... laptop and whatever services u can give... he asked... erm... i dunno.. u gave...
to the rest... it was CNY.. i guess it was especially impt for the family to be together on the eve for dinner as well as starting the yr together in 1 house..
u can try to disappear without a fone call or note next CNY eve.. and see if ur hp is gonna be bombarded with calls or not..
u can rant and rave all u want in here.. and ur questions will find answers in here too.. but u must understand that we do not know the full situation and thus will not be able to give u an accurate remedy(if u will) for ur situation... u would have to decide the next course of action for urself..
sometimes u need to be cruel to be kind.. so do what u need to do. -
sounds serious.... sounds like he's trying to run away from something...Originally posted by AshedAnna:Chinese New Year my fiance disappeared and never pick up the phone since 2pm to ten plus. Missed his reunion with his grandma then I keep calling and calling. I took taxi everywhere to find him..but can't. He was probably driving around S'pore. His parents called me to find him and his mother almost cried. I called all his friends to ask if he'swith them, but no. I even called the police and hospitals to make sure he's not hurt or in trouble.
Second day of New Year so sh-itted. Then finally he went hm at ten thirty I think...then i went over finally when he sent me the first message of the day after tons of messages from me..he say "What you all want".
I asked him where he go, he keep quiet. Just use internet. Then I asked him if he thinks what he did was wrong, he just shake head. Then when I tried to talk to him he curled into a ball and cover his head with the blanket.
In the end, he says its my fault. Everything is my fault. How am I ever going to get through to him...I mean for the guys, why would you act this way ?If ever comes a situation where you just heck care your gf, what situation would it be? I didn't cheat on him or lie or whatever.
give him time... he'll talk when he can bring himself to say it -
could he have patched up with his ex?
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*HUGS ANNA*
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Be nice to him? Do you have ANY idea how nice I've been trying to be despite all this? ANYONE who disappears wthout a trace and comes back not giving a shit about the people who worries about him, I would've given him a piece of my damn mind. It scared the living hell out of me. And I have BEEN shutting up. Jesus.Originally posted by drx:Only you can help yourself.
no one can help you.
Is not they never try but will you listern?
Honestly lar do you really think he will change?
No he is bottling everything up rite now and will blow up soon mark my words.
You want him to change ?
First change yourself,
looking back at the past will not change anything.
Be nice to him. thats all.
cook something nice for him.
or just simply shut up
is just that simple ...
guys hate girls talking so much
let him have some peace for once.
I know deep in your heart you love him but your actions is driving him nuts. -
Pardon me...you got pregnant in Melbourne? The baby is his?Originally posted by AshedAnna:I mean we were sec. sch.sweethearts la...u know...last time i broke his heart twice...last time i was damn unpretty (character) then after i went to melb i change...everybody can see...even him...i become mellow..i still chit chat alot...talktative...like to think deep...abt things like nature and animals all that stupid things la...then sometimes i share some stuff with him...like u know funny emails like "tzng my car" or some funny video that makes me happy...he will give me this sian 1/2 face and say "funny meh" or "i saw this one year ago" or whatever...
I don't expect him to be the sweet guy I knew years ago...everybody changes...i ask him at times...u really want to get married so fast? He just never answer and ask me why i ask him...damn stubborn one kind...
Dunno la...I really gone through alot of crap...for him also...alot alot...now im working two stupid jobs to support myself because i screw up my studies in aussie because of the pregnancy...never even ask him to accompany me for the abortion because i knew it would hurt him...maybe i shouldn't have a bf should sort out my life first...so i won't be a burden because i feel like a damn idiotic burden. but breaking up is not the pt...like he will blame me for everything...i don't want that...im equally tired putting up with his mcp attitude... -
(yes it is) I got p. in Singapore..during the hols the kids come back to their own countries...then I held on to the pregnancy all the way till I got back to Melb and for in total 5 months...Originally posted by laosu:Pardon me...you got pregnant in Melbourne? The baby is his? -
this is my view : end the relationship & get a life
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Wow...thanks...next time if I can't face a problem I just run away.Originally posted by taurian:this is my view : end the relationship & get a life -
Look, Im sorry if I seem rude and all that...its just that its really been so crappy and I mean its just all stored up inside. He means the world to me and it was really easy to let go until him and his friends start talking about how he tried to get his ex back in front of my face, and abt their wonderful trip altogether to Sydney, blah blahblah...I mean every single weekend if we meet them...that was when we first got together and u know I was cool with it...I saw pictures of them kissing etc all that rubbish I was alright with it too because I was confident he'd be there for me because he proved it. Now its like...bah.
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no worries. Just pour everything out here.Originally posted by AshedAnna:Look, Im sorry if I seem rude and all that...its just that its really been so crappy and I mean its just all stored up inside. He means the world to me and it was really easy to let go until him and his friends start talking about how he tried to get his ex back in front of my face, and abt their wonderful trip altogether to Sydney, blah blahblah...I mean every single weekend if we meet them...that was when we first got together and u know I was cool with it...I saw pictures of them kissing etc all that rubbish I was alright with it too because I was confident he'd be there for me because he proved it. Now its like...bah.
Cheers -
and this exgf of his, was with him before you got pregnant or between the time you got pregnant or?Originally posted by AshedAnna:(yes it is) I got p. in Singapore..during the hols the kids come back to their own countries...then I held on to the pregnancy all the way till I got back to Melb and for in total 5 months...
One possibility could be that he is guilty, upset with regard to his ex-gf. He doesn't know how to handle her, and possibly he feel that if not for you (your existence, not your actions), she would not become this problemetic. It doesn't mean he still misses her, but guilt can be talking.
On the other hand, perhaps he is remaining with you for the same reason that he feels guilty towards you. However, his resentment is growing because though he initiated a rship cos of guilt, maybe he just isn't ready. I'm speculating of course.
I think your rship carry too much unresolved emotional baggage for two young people to keep on with it. And with things like emotional baggage, you can't just open it like a can of worms and expect a peaceable, acceptable solution to 2 (or more) people.
In a situation like this, there isn't much of a point confronting and 'forcing' a solution because the time isn't right. There's nothing to prove who's right, who's wrong, except that right now, the journey is stormy with each other. Perhaps what you need to do, is a bit of 'travelling' on your own and hope that when you put some space and time between you and him, the emotional baggage will be lost in transit, and you can start out anew IF you want to start out anew.