Am I expecting too much???
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Hi I am new here,seeking some advise,hope you guys are able to shed some lights.My bf & I are together for close to 1yr & we are planning our marriage soon..or rather I am e one who is making all those arrangements while he is just following,not showing much concern.As e time is nearer,I find myself having doubts of really spending my entire life with him.Dun get me wrong,he is definitely a nice guy but somehow I can never be compared to his PC,his forums,his online games etc.Initially during wooing period,he can make e effort to meet me everyday & wait til e last bus to go hm & we'd call & chat with each other throughout e day til morning,seems like there are endless topics.But now he feels tat seeing me too much,I am too "Sticky" & he does not have enuf personal time.He gets irritated easily & always tells me not to call him too often.But when we meet up during e weekends he is as normal as any other gals' bf.All these are making me confused..makes me ponder in e long run,will things work?Will he neglect me(as he is doing now)even when we have a home of our own.Will he find facing me everyday very tiring etc.He is sometimes enthusiams as me when discussing abt marriage,sometimes giving a heck care attutide.Our "suppose" ROM is approaching in a few more mths & I really @ a loss of what to do..Am I expecting too much?Hope you guys are able to give me some advise.
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how old is he? u cant expect things to be the same everyday from day one... usual after some while relationship gets slack and he will tend to return back to his old pastimes... but since u feel that way jz talk to him about it first but expect to make compromise cos a change in the relationship might happen... even though both of u are couple u still need personal space for yourself n friends so jz take it as it is... really,i feel both of u need more time to understand each other b4 talking abt marriage again... and i tink u should refresh your mind on y u love him till want to ROM b4 n y u2 still together now... oso tink abt would u still want to be him if he continue like that...?Originally posted by Ariel_Ong:Hi I am new here,seeking some advise,hope you guys are able to shed some lights.My bf & I are together for close to 1yr & we are planning our marriage soon..or rather I am e one who is making all those arrangements while he is just following,not showing much concern.As e time is nearer,I find myself having doubts of really spending my entire life with him.Dun get me wrong,he is definitely a nice guy but somehow I can never be compared to his PC,his forums,his online games etc.Initially during wooing period,he can make e effort to meet me everyday & wait til e last bus to go hm & we'd call & chat with each other throughout e day til morning,seems like there are endless topics.But now he feels tat seeing me too much,I am too "Sticky" & he does not have enuf personal time.He gets irritated easily & always tells me not to call him too often.But when we meet up during e weekends he is as normal as any other gals' bf.All these are making me confused..makes me ponder in e long run,will things work?Will he neglect me(as he is doing now)even when we have a home of our own.Will he find facing me everyday very tiring etc.He is sometimes enthusiams as me when discussing abt marriage,sometimes giving a heck care attutide.Our "suppose" ROM is approaching in a few more mths & I really @ a loss of what to do..Am I expecting too much?Hope you guys are able to give me some advise. -
maybe it's already a habit that he's with u ba?
wat can be the reason when a man is not interested in his marriage?
maybe he dun really know whether marriage is what he wants. -
he is 29 & I am 25.I tried to tel him abt him neglecting me becos of his PC & he'd show some improvement..for a few weeks b4 he went back to his habits again..he says its his passion while I feel its an obession.Tats oso y I am starting to think if things will last.b4 this,I am full of confident of our marriage..this is e 1st time I plan a future with someone.Duno if you ever come across such a feeling,like you know he is "e one" for you,I ask myself if I can live with him spending so much time with his PC & I have yet to find an ans..are guys like this?PC is like his life,something that he'd miss if away for too long,unable to check his email,reply his forum,playing his fav soccer game etc...I admit I am a gal who enjoys attention,in a sense that I like my guy to accompany me but not any other guy,just oni e guy I am involve now & deeply in love with.This is e 1st time I am so sure of my feelings but not sure if I can live with his habits.Isn't love blind??thought pple are always saying when you love someone you tends to overlook his weakness/bad habits etc..Y do I mind so much?Anyone facing e same situation???
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what kind of hobby is a PC???
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What do you mean?Originally posted by kopiosatu:what kind of hobby is a PC??? -
how can a PC take up so much of his life... unless he's a sgForums modOriginally posted by Ariel_Ong:What do you mean?
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He joins Mmm...spug..something..oso a forum but there are topics on anything & everything abt computers..Originally posted by kopiosatu:how can a PC take up so much of his life... unless he's a sgForums mod -
hmmmm well common sense would say "talk to him about it"Originally posted by Ariel_Ong:He joins Mmm...spug..something..oso a forum but there are topics on anything & everything abt computers..
but we all know that most men can't "talk about problems" like women
the way i see it, it either you accept the pc or he has to accept you knowing that you're against the pc. -
http://www.singaporebrides.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/discus.cgi
maybe you want to surf this website because i remember i came across issue with hubby/bf sticking to their computer like ur bf. anyway since you are preparing ur wedding, it a good site for wedding info too.
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i think you should wait a little longer to really know and accept him before marrying.
seems like he is not ready for marriage and you are not so sure about him either.
what then is the hurry?
dont marry for the sake of marrying. -
to me, at this stage... i think getting married is a bad idea.
but if you two really love each other... hmmm no one has any say
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Think carefully if you wants to be with him forever. Don't regret it after you both ROM.
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put it tt way.. @ least his passion is pc and not gambling?Originally posted by Ariel_Ong:he is 29 & I am 25.I tried to tel him abt him neglecting me becos of his PC & he'd show some improvement..for a few weeks b4 he went back to his habits again..he says its his passion while I feel its an obession.Tats oso y I am starting to think if things will last.b4 this,I am full of confident of our marriage..this is e 1st time I plan a future with someone.Duno if you ever come across such a feeling,like you know he is "e one" for you,I ask myself if I can live with him spending so much time with his PC & I have yet to find an ans..are guys like this?PC is like his life,something that he'd miss if away for too long,unable to check his email,reply his forum,playing his fav soccer game etc...I admit I am a gal who enjoys attention,in a sense that I like my guy to accompany me but not any other guy,just oni e guy I am involve now & deeply in love with.This is e 1st time I am so sure of my feelings but not sure if I can live with his habits.Isn't love blind??thought pple are always saying when you love someone you tends to overlook his weakness/bad habits etc..Y do I mind so much?Anyone facing e same situation???
if u luv a person, accept all of him, dun try to change him or think tt marriage will change him, if there's going to be any change, it will only be for the worst..
its precisely due to his flaw tt he cannot find someone better then u..
so after all these, u hv to ask urself, can u live w/ tt? -
Well, i guess the "honeymoon" period has over? I think most guys did the same stuffs u have mentioned --> computers and games. As for ROM, perhaps he needs more time to re-adjust his life, getting married means he's sort of moving him into a "jail" or something. Check up with him, dun worry
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pls lor.. there's no such thing called 'honeymoon' period de lorOriginally posted by 101wish:Well, i guess the "honeymoon" period has over? I think most guys did the same stuffs u have mentioned --> computers and games. As for ROM, perhaps he needs more time to re-adjust his life, getting married means he's sort of moving him into a "jail" or something. Check up with him, dun worry
for a successful marriage, romance shld be injected into it everynow n then de lor..
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I agree; I think you guys should wait for a whle longer...
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you are not expecting too much.your regular interaction with him irriates him as mention in the post "he told u not to call him" this clearly show his furstration with you and u expect this guy to live with u the rest of your life ? and he even treat computers over you ? this is totally crap even though he might be a nice guyOriginally posted by Ariel_Ong:Hi I am new here,seeking some advise,hope you guys are able to shed some lights.My bf & I are together for close to 1yr & we are planning our marriage soon..or rather I am e one who is making all those arrangements while he is just following,not showing much concern.As e time is nearer,I find myself having doubts of really spending my entire life with him.Dun get me wrong,he is definitely a nice guy but somehow I can never be compared to his PC,his forums,his online games etc.Initially during wooing period,he can make e effort to meet me everyday & wait til e last bus to go hm & we'd call & chat with each other throughout e day til morning,seems like there are endless topics.But now he feels tat seeing me too much,I am too "Sticky" & he does not have enuf personal time.He gets irritated easily & always tells me not to call him too often.But when we meet up during e weekends he is as normal as any other gals' bf.All these are making me confused..makes me ponder in e long run,will things work?Will he neglect me(as he is doing now)even when we have a home of our own.Will he find facing me everyday very tiring etc.He is sometimes enthusiams as me when discussing abt marriage,sometimes giving a heck care attutide.Our "suppose" ROM is approaching in a few more mths & I really @ a loss of what to do..Am I expecting too much?Hope you guys are able to give me some advise. -
Yes...I fully agreed! Since I know my gf,I have not touch my favourite past-time of making military models for 1 yr liao! She become my passion and hobby liao,LOL!!Originally posted by hopy:pls lor.. there's no such thing called 'honeymoon' period de lor
for a successful marriage, romance shld be injected into it everynow n then de lor.. -
i think ur guy can find somebody else who appreciates him more. for heaven's sake, at least he is involve in some decent activities and not two-timing behind your back.. yet u are jealous of a non-animated objectOriginally posted by Ariel_Ong:he is 29 & I am 25.I tried to tel him abt him neglecting me becos of his PC & he'd show some improvement..for a few weeks b4 he went back to his habits again..he says its his passion while I feel its an obession.Tats oso y I am starting to think if things will last.b4 this,I am full of confident of our marriage..this is e 1st time I plan a future with someone.Duno if you ever come across such a feeling,like you know he is "e one" for you,I ask myself if I can live with him spending so much time with his PC & I have yet to find an ans..are guys like this?PC is like his life,something that he'd miss if away for too long,unable to check his email,reply his forum,playing his fav soccer game etc...I admit I am a gal who enjoys attention,in a sense that I like my guy to accompany me but not any other guy,just oni e guy I am involve now & deeply in love with.This is e 1st time I am so sure of my feelings but not sure if I can live with his habits.Isn't love blind??thought pple are always saying when you love someone you tends to overlook his weakness/bad habits etc..Y do I mind so much?Anyone facing e same situation??? -
Originally posted by Ariel_Ong:Hi I am new here,seeking some advise,hope you guys are able to shed some lights.My bf & I are together for close to 1yr & we are planning our marriage soon..or rather I am e one who is making all those arrangements while he is just following,not showing much concern.As e time is nearer,I find myself having doubts of really spending my entire life with him.Dun get me wrong,he is definitely a nice guy but somehow I can never be compared to his PC,his forums,his online games etc.Initially during wooing period,he can make e effort to meet me everyday & wait til e last bus to go hm & we'd call & chat with each other throughout e day til morning,seems like there are endless topics.But now he feels tat seeing me too much,I am too "Sticky" & he does not have enuf personal time.He gets irritated easily & always tells me not to call him too often.But when we meet up during e weekends he is as normal as any other gals' bf.All these are making me confused..makes me ponder in e long run,will things work?Will he neglect me(as he is doing now)even when we have a home of our own.Will he find facing me everyday very tiring etc.He is sometimes enthusiams as me when discussing abt marriage,sometimes giving a heck care attutide.Our "suppose" ROM is approaching in a few more mths & I really @ a loss of what to do..Am I expecting too much?Hope you guys are able to give me some advise.
When you are confused about marrying someone... DON'T STEP INTO THE MARRIAGE.
Nothing can coerce you into ROM unless you want it and if you are unsure, wait until you are sure.
You got all the time in the world to wait, but you only have one marriage to consider (unless you fancy double/more marriages in your life). There was never a need for haste
Cheers -
Very,very true....the best advise! ROM shall be blissful and doubt less!Originally posted by Yunhaier: When you are confused about marrying someone... DON'T STEP INTO THE MARRIAGE.
Nothing can coerce you into ROM unless you want it and if you are unsure, wait until you are sure.
You got all the time in the world to wait, but you only have one marriage to consider (unless you fancy double/more marriages in your life). There was never a need for haste
Cheers -
ya lor..ever heard of marriage is the tombstone of love and romance?Originally posted by Yunhaier: When you are confused about marrying someone... DON'T STEP INTO THE MARRIAGE.
Nothing can coerce you into ROM unless you want it and if you are unsure, wait until you are sure.
You got all the time in the world to wait, but you only have one marriage to consider (unless you fancy double/more marriages in your life). There was never a need for haste
Cheers
till ur absolutely sure he's the one who can give u the ultimate happiness,don't rush into marriage. -
erm.. i think all men will be obsessed or have a passion for some thing ba..Originally posted by Ariel_Ong:he is 29 & I am 25.I tried to tel him abt him neglecting me becos of his PC & he'd show some improvement..for a few weeks b4 he went back to his habits again..he says its his passion while I feel its an obession.Tats oso y I am starting to think if things will last.b4 this,I am full of confident of our marriage..this is e 1st time I plan a future with someone.Duno if you ever come across such a feeling,like you know he is "e one" for you,I ask myself if I can live with him spending so much time with his PC & I have yet to find an ans..are guys like this?PC is like his life,something that he'd miss if away for too long,unable to check his email,reply his forum,playing his fav soccer game etc...I admit I am a gal who enjoys attention,in a sense that I like my guy to accompany me but not any other guy,just oni e guy I am involve now & deeply in love with.This is e 1st time I am so sure of my feelings but not sure if I can live with his habits.Isn't love blind??thought pple are always saying when you love someone you tends to overlook his weakness/bad habits etc..Y do I mind so much?Anyone facing e same situation???
and it's a hobby/habit that can last for a long time.
be it computer games, xbox, ps2, soccer match, anime etc..
if u cannot accept it, then ask urself, have u accepted him completely?
he should have the freedom to do what he likes ba? like what hopy said, be glad that he is not a gambler.
personally, im also v addicted to forums and surfing online etc.. look at it at the positive side, he's juz connecting to people, keeping himself updated of the happenings that take place everyday..
i have not met the one yet.. maybe i dun believe that he exists ba. past r/s also nv last long.. disheartened.
i think we cannot let ourselves be totally blind in love ba.. it's not wrong that u actually see his flaws.. perhaps u are juz being a bit more rational than others, and it's a gd thing.. coz it will be easier for u if u have to let go.. -
How did you do that??..You must have love ur gal so much to do that right?Originally posted by CannyOng:Yes...I fully agreed! Since I know my gf,I have not touch my favourite past-time of making military models for 1 yr liao! She become my passion and hobby liao,LOL!!