Is it right or wrong?
-
I have been seeing this patient of mine for over 6 months now. I dono if i am in love with him or not. about 7 months ago, he came to me to ask for my help regarding his life long relationship woes which has left him in an utter mood slump in which he feels he has no way to overcome. Thus he came to me. Im a psycologist and im running my own practice. He comes at our appointed time every tuesday and friday in the afternoon.
Two months ago while he was consulting me over his fears of his previous relationship with this lady called Jennifer, i suddely felt a rush of anxiety to know more yet a certain part of me wanted to withhold my hunger to know or pry deeper into the situation. I wanted to keep it as a mutual thing between a doctor and a patient but his story touched me so much i could not sit in my chair and overhear anymore. I did the most unprofessional thing and i patted him on the forehead. That was how this whole thing started. I got too close and crossed my lines. After the consultation he immediately called my secretary and told her that it is urgernt that he spoke to me. When i was available after awhile, i called him back out of concern for my patient's wellbeing. To my surprise, he asked me out for a coffee and for a chat. As friends he said. I know that it isnt ethical of me to do so but i did anyways. We both felt at that time that it would be platonic. We made out in the car after the drink. I felt to cheap but yet i felt that luke warm emotions brewing inside of me.
He kept visiting me as per normal from that day on. every friday, every tuesday. We never uttered a word of that moment in the car. It was strictly back to doctor and patient relationship.
Yesterday, it was valentines day. He presented himself to me with a bouquet of roses and a card that stated how he felt about me. It is probably going too far... should i stop? If i continue, will it just be a fling? Will my reputation as a psycologist, as a professional be soiled? what if he is just using me for pleasure? what if his fear and hatred for women has turned him towards me. A form of revenge? Im really worried... because if he really had feelings for me, he would have at least just mentioned about that night in the car wouldnt he? but he didnt...so what is it truely? im am feeling so frustrated! -
MOD - Insensitive remark edited
-
wont that be unprofessional? isnt that wrong? i mean i wont mind actually getting physical with him but he is just very unstable now...i cant be sure if he is really doing it for real or is there another part of him telling me he loves me. he is my patient after all you know.
-
MOD - Insensitive remark edited
(do this in chit chat ok?) -
This is so wrong...
With Thy Bible i Smite Thee.
(just the sex part)
just go along and see wat this can developed into. give it time. -
I want to be a part of this..
-
do u feel for him then?
u are a psychologist, and u cant tell his intentions?
why did u do that with him? both were hungry and so it happened? -
Psycologists are always in question my dear...he for one is pretty unstable due to the fact that he had rough past relationships. In a way, mentally abused. He is improving...mentally, but that also means that he is constantly changing at which degree i do not clearly know. He may be a maniac one moment and a sweet person during the other. My job is a hazard in a way. Psycologists do get attacked by their patientes if u have heard enough.. heh.. so if i let this relationship happen...if it topples, it may be dangerous from then on. Its risky but i think i do love him greatly. Thats why we made out in the car in the first place dont u think? Yes i have feelings for him. Yes i did it because i wanted to be close to him but up till now. i still dont know what his reason for making out with me for is. He is paying me per visit by the way. so i assume he is not treating me nice for discounts for consultation or anything.Originally posted by browniebaobao:do u feel for him then?
u are a psychologist, and u cant tell his intentions?
why did u do that with him? both were hungry and so it happened? -
Originally posted by confusedlover:Psycologists are always in question my dear...he for one is pretty unstable due to the fact that he had rough past relationships. In a way, mentally abused. He is improving...mentally, but that also means that he is constantly changing at which degree i do not clearly know. He may be a maniac one moment and a sweet person during the other. My job is a hazard in a way. Psycologists do get attacked by their patientes if u have heard enough.. heh.. so if i let this relationship happen...if it topples, it may be dangerous from then on. Its risky but i think i do love him greatly. Thats why we made out in the car in the first place dont u think? Yes i have feelings for him. Yes i did it because i wanted to be close to him but up till now. i still dont know what his reason for making out with me for is. He is paying me per visit by the way. so i assume he is not treating me nice for discounts for consultation or anything.
i think im still inexperienced to really understand what is fling, and whether there's love in fling etc.
if u feel that he is dangerous, then stay away from him lor.
are u an emotional person? if not, why would u be touched by his story? -
Personally, I think you're stepping over the line. Falling in love with your patient when he's vulnerable is...wrong? But then, the line's pretty muddled up when love is involved. Love makes people do silly things.
Maybe you should step back and think about what you really want out of this.
Anyway, these are just my personal opinions. -
em, its really sad but thats confidential information so i do not wish to go into details. Basically, he used to be very harmless and just sweet and loving and all. Now, he tends to get violent fits(according to him) and he is showing slight signs of violent tendencies from his consultations.
Flings are just for the rush of the moment...nothing to be serious about. If he just left things and ended it in the car that night. It would be fine. Now he sends me flowers and a card with feelings written in it. I feel like i need to be consulted as well...heh. -
Originally posted by confusedlover:em, its really sad but thats confidential information so i do not wish to go into details. Basically, he used to be very harmless and just sweet and loving and all. Now, he tends to get violent fits(according to him) and he is showing slight signs of violent tendencies from his consultations.
Flings are just for the rush of the moment...nothing to be serious about. If he just left things and ended it in the car that night. It would be fine. Now he sends me flowers and a card with feelings written in it. I feel like i need to be consulted as well...heh. You can rest assured that we have professional consults here. 
-
Be prepared to be hurt emotionally, financially and professionally if you want to get involved with an unstable client.
He could be a con man using love to drain you dry. There are professional con men out there.
I would refer him to another psycologist. -
haha, its just weird...he doesnt call or anything, just shows up during consultation days..if he asks me out...then i would, but he hasnt execpt for that time... should i call to thank him for the flowers see if he has anything to say about it? I hope to get more suggestions because if i make a personal call..it would be crossing my line and it may seem as if i want to get closer to him on a more personal level.
-
He's laid out the bait and waiting for the catch. -
Good advice. I think i should refer him out to another place after our coming consultation on friday.Originally posted by macjoe:Be prepared to be hurt emotionally, financially and professionally if you want to get involved with an unstable client.
He could be a con man using love to drain you dry. There are professional con men out there.
I would refer him to another psycologist. -
the flowers etc..maybe he was juz guilty?
if there's once, there's likely to be twice leh.
u said he's violent.. im imagining the worst now..
wat if he mess up ur life?
dun call him ba.. u also know that u are crossing the line liao.. dun take the risk. -
would he want to be referred to another psychologist?Originally posted by confusedlover:Good advice. I think i should refer him out to another place after our coming consultation on friday.
he will still be able to haunt u if he wants.
i think it will be better if u can totally disappear from his sight. -
Lovey dovey is memorable but more memorable are violent fits - no one walks away unscathed when a timebomb you step on explodes.
-
Haha, i wish i could disappear my dear...the thing is that i cant just move my office because of 1 client like him right? He isnt all the violent but i feel that he is capable of it. In a way im curious? but im afraid of the consequences of knowing too much...Originally posted by browniebaobao:would he want to be referred to another psychologist?
he will still be able to huant u if he wants.
i think it will be better if u can totally disappear from his sight. -
now this sound straight out of a movie or thriller storybook. He could be a serial killer of women manipulating psychology and fooling everyone!, be careful. the male version of sharon stone in Basic insticnt!!
-
You are freaking me out man. I cant be so fearful. I have to make that call. Make things clear. Keeping quiet and letting him have his way is not going to be fair to me in the long run right?Originally posted by Saint Valentine:now this sound straight out of a movie or thriller storybook. He could be a serial killer of women manipulating psychology and fooling everyone!, be careful. the male version of sharon stone in Basic insticnt!! -
ya.. thrash things out with him.
but be careful ya. -
yea, just hope i dont get thrashed in the car again..thats the 1st thing i should be weary about. haha
-
What if he cries? Will you melt?