[b]3 types of guys from hell?[/b]
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There are 3 kinds of guys I encounter now which I m quite confused about.Need some advice on how I should deal with them.
Type 1-the ambigious frd:
sometimes friends. sometimes not. sometimes more than that.
He can be very sweet and do things like send me home or call me when he's overseas and stuff, sometimes the things he says and the way he acts makes it seem like we are somehow more than frds. but the thing is i can never really get hold of him. sometimes he can just disappear for weeks or a few months without any news and still thinks we are very close when he "resurfaces" again. what's really odd about this fellow is at times he makes me feel like i m his most treasured companion, at other times just regular not very close sort of friends and at other times still, not really friends at all.
On several occasions, he had told me that i m his best friend and how i wish it is true. the thing is, nvm whether we would end up dating or not,i really enjoy his companionship and is more than happy to be his best friend or good friend but the way he's so unpredictable torments me cos i dun know to react to him, i dun know wat to expect. i can't even expect what i can from a regular friend. what should i do the next time he appears again? i m getting sick of the numerous roller coaster rides he brought me through.
Type 2-the "buddy":
They are the sort I m girl buddy to, I either know or at least hear a lot abt their gfs and helps solve their girl woes.
It seemed perfectly fine to me.until i realise that most of the times they just use me to do things like fill the few hours waiting gap before they meet their gfs.one even asked me to accompany him to orchard and said that he's going to meet his gf after that. so i asked him "u just want me to accompany u there n then leave?" he smiled. wat is this? i m not his nanny, bodyguard or escort. it has happened more than a few times,the above example being the most explicit one. I dont think any frd deserve to be treated like that.
Though hanging out with them can b fun and i geninuely believed in the frdship we shared, these recurring instances are making me think twice abt it. do they really take me as a buddy? or just some 3rd class entertainment to pass time before they meet their princesses? one of them is quite touchy too, puts his arms around my shoulders, rests his head on my shoulder i thought buddy buddy it's ok but when he tried to hold my hand it's too much. didnt allow him to. what's he thinking? would he do smt like this if his gf is around?
Type 3- the dirty fellow?:
For the first month after we met he was nice,funny and would sms or call me almost everyday. though he made some dirty jokes at times i didnt really mind that. he made me so many promises and said he loved me but i didn't believe him. I m lucky i didn't.
The next 2 or 3 months,he reduced the frequency of contact by at least 75%. he now only smses me like once in a week and talk to me on msn occasionally. and it seems like sex is all that is in his mind now. yesterday after we exchanged a few smses he sent a msg that goes like this: i will grow harder and longer when u touch,want to try? i think he tried to imply smt the msg before this msg and when i didnt understand he seemed rather annoyed and said "do i look like i m kidding?"
And one thing odd abt him is that he said a few girls made him offers and wanted to have sex with him and he said he's not the kind of men who would accept offers. even if it doesn't involve money. I dun understand. If he wants sex so badly he should take those offers. why bother asking me for sexual requests when he knows i would say no? n it's not like he enjoys rejection cos everytime similar situations happen he'd b quite annoyed n cease contacting me for some time. he'd normally just be suggestive and not ask like this so i thought he was just kidding.
m i being too naive? is he just another dirty old man that i should steer clear of? it seems like majority of the guys i met just want to seek gratifications from me,sexual or otherwise. they just want excitement. they dun care abt me actually. having this kind of guys around just makes me feel more lonely as it has dimmed my hopes of finding friends who will ever want to understand me. m i plain unlucky? or there too much of them out there?
All Good mates out here,give me your take on the guys and my situation.Are these guys normal?What should i do? -
would appreciate if u use spacing after full-stop, and use paragraphs. Very straining to my eyes when I read.
How do u treat ur guy frens?
It could be how you project yourself that gave them the wrong idea or watever.
Dun you know how to say NO to them?
For the first guy who gave u mixed signals, maybe you should just have a good talk with him over it. Also, ask yourself, do you regard him as a friend or more than a fren?
For the second guy, I think he deserves a scolding. Even if he is so comfortable with you, he should jolly well know that he is attached and know what he should not do.
For the third guy, cut off all contacts with him. If he harass you again, tell him that you will report to police for sexual harassment. -
Oh..just realised it's very hard to read.Ok.I go edit now.Thanks.
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no. they not normal.
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I am glad to hear that.haha.guy type 3 always used the "u hav never been with a guy before that's why u dun know" kind of attitude to reply me whenever i got supicious.like when i got irritated with him mentioning this XXX thing,he said"now i m 200% sure u hav never had a relationship with a guy before."Originally posted by Ito_^:no. they not normal.
btw browniebaobao,i m not excatly the "sexy,naughty,bitchy" sort so i dun know wat could i hav done wrong.care to enlighten me? -
erm u dun have to be sexy, naughty, or bitchy to give ple the wrong idea ba?Originally posted by sqully:btw browniebaobao,i m not excatly the "sexy,naughty,bitchy" sort so i dun know wat could i hav done wrong.care to enlighten me?
u might be gullible. I duno, i duno u at all.
Leave it to the guys to advise u, they are men afterall.
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type 1 - still ok i tink
type 2 - pissed mi off
type 3 - WT* -
3rd guy can go die
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for the third guy, i will break all contact wif him. block him on msn & dun reply his sms. the more u reply to him, the more he will be interested in continuing such behaviour. i dun see y i shld i hav such a 'fren' whose behaviour makes u uncomfortable.
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answer is jz leave those guys behind and go mix around with company who will appreciate u better... 1st n 2nd one jz tell him u busy n dun reply his messages... the 3rd one is jz block his msn and delete him off ur contact list and ignore the perv's call or messages...Originally posted by sqully:There are 3 kinds of guys I encounter now which I m quite confused about.Need some advice on how I should deal with them.
Type 1-the ambigious frd:
sometimes friends. sometimes not. sometimes more than that.
He can be very sweet and do things like send me home or call me when he's overseas and stuff, sometimes the things he says and the way he acts makes it seem like we are somehow more than frds. but the thing is i can never really get hold of him. sometimes he can just disappear for weeks or a few months without any news and still thinks we are very close when he "resurfaces" again. what's really odd about this fellow is at times he makes me feel like i m his most treasured companion, at other times just regular not very close sort of friends and at other times still, not really friends at all.
On several occasions, he had told me that i m his best friend and how i wish it is true. the thing is, nvm whether we would end up dating or not,i really enjoy his companionship and is more than happy to be his best friend or good friend but the way he's so unpredictable torments me cos i dun know to react to him, i dun know wat to expect. i can't even expect what i can from a regular friend. what should i do the next time he appears again? i m getting sick of the numerous roller coaster rides he brought me through.
Type 2-the "buddy":
They are the sort I m girl buddy to, I either know or at least hear a lot abt their gfs and helps solve their girl woes.
It seemed perfectly fine to me.until i realise that most of the times they just use me to do things like fill the few hours waiting gap before they meet their gfs.one even asked me to accompany him to orchard and said that he's going to meet his gf after that. so i asked him "u just want me to accompany u there n then leave?" he smiled. wat is this? i m not his nanny, bodyguard or escort. it has happened more than a few times,the above example being the most explicit one. I dont think any frd deserve to be treated like that.
Though hanging out with them can b fun and i geninuely believed in the frdship we shared, these recurring instances are making me think twice abt it. do they really take me as a buddy? or just some 3rd class entertainment to pass time before they meet their princesses? one of them is quite touchy too, puts his arms around my shoulders, rests his head on my shoulder i thought buddy buddy it's ok but when he tried to hold my hand it's too much. didnt allow him to. what's he thinking? would he do smt like this if his gf is around?
Type 3- the dirty fellow?:
For the first month after we met he was nice,funny and would sms or call me almost everyday. though he made some dirty jokes at times i didnt really mind that. he made me so many promises and said he loved me but i didn't believe him. I m lucky i didn't.
The next 2 or 3 months,he reduced the frequency of contact by at least 75%. he now only smses me like once in a week and talk to me on msn occasionally. and it seems like sex is all that is in his mind now. yesterday after we exchanged a few smses he sent a msg that goes like this: i will grow harder and longer when u touch,want to try? i think he tried to imply smt the msg before this msg and when i didnt understand he seemed rather annoyed and said "do i look like i m kidding?"
And one thing odd abt him is that he said a few girls made him offers and wanted to have sex with him and he said he's not the kind of men who would accept offers. even if it doesn't involve money. I dun understand. If he wants sex so badly he should take those offers. why bother asking me for sexual requests when he knows i would say no? n it's not like he enjoys rejection cos everytime similar situations happen he'd b quite annoyed n cease contacting me for some time. he'd normally just be suggestive and not ask like this so i thought he was just kidding.
m i being too naive? is he just another dirty old man that i should steer clear of? it seems like majority of the guys i met just want to seek gratifications from me,sexual or otherwise. they just want excitement. they dun care abt me actually. having this kind of guys around just makes me feel more lonely as it has dimmed my hopes of finding friends who will ever want to understand me. m i plain unlucky? or there too much of them out there?
All Good mates out here,give me your take on the guys and my situation.Are these guys normal?What should i do? -
Prob is wat do u want to achieve from this 3 friends?? If wana to remain just as friends then i think it should not be a prob. Just stay away form them if u dun like them... Its ur choice and ur freedom.
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so type 1 no hope of even becoming good frds?2nd time this is happening.sian.
type 2 quite a few there now lo..party getting more crowded.just some not as bad.*shakes head*
type 3 at first i thought i had met a great guy.i thought i m in luck n hav met a frd i could bare my soul to.we got really close for the first month, he was so unbelievably nice n understanding and i started to grow attached towards him. damn fortunate i could hold out and not b so smitten that i fell into his trap. gave me a heartbreak when i realised who he truely is.disgusting fellow.
there's a thing abt guys i met(esp some of type 2 n even more esp so type 3),they seem to hav a common excuse for watever they do that i can't comprehend,the "i m just being a guy" thing.it seems to them that it shd over ride everythin esle n i m just ignorant so i dun understand. -
Btw there's smt i hope u guys can help me figure out as well,what could a girl hav done to give guys the wrong signals or ideas?
for if i had done smt wrong,i really shouldnt repeat the mistakes again.
Thanks fellows.
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Sometimes it's not just about you... Some guys when they started off from knowing you... They just have this 'sex objective' on driven SO DEEP in their head... Or if not, some of them just have it built up along time... But of course, not all guys work that way... It really depends much on your luck too..?Originally posted by sqully:Btw there's smt i hope u guys can help me figure out as well,what could a girl hav done to give guys the wrong signals or ideas?
for if i had done smt wrong,i really shouldnt repeat the mistakes again.
Thanks fellows. -
Have you ever told the 2nd guy that you dun like it when he puts his arms around you or rest his head on your shoulder ? or do you like it ??Originally posted by sqully:Btw there's smt i hope u guys can help me figure out as well,what could a girl hav done to give guys the wrong signals or ideas?
for if i had done smt wrong,i really shouldnt repeat the mistakes again.
Thanks fellows. Maybe its becos you've never said anything before ?? some girls are like that too ..... I know afew ......
As for the 3rd ........ stay away from him. Cut off all contacts from him .... might have escape from metal hospital .... -
I hav no prob with guys putting arms around my shoulders like the way they do with their guy frds.it's like part of reassurance and bonding so i m fine with it but i would draw the line there,so would most of the other guys in type 2.except this one.at first i tolerated him cos i thought mayb he's the kind that more affectionate towards frds.i was getting uncomfortable with it but the last straw came when he tried to hold my hand.if i had allowed him to do that it would cross the border of a platonic frdship. after that i thought abt the whole thing and realised that he likes to do such things and stay very close to me physically especially when we r out alone,and it seems like the more ppl look at us the happier he is.i hav just been used as a ego thing.this is crap.i hav stayed away from him since.Originally posted by MiX Metal:Have you ever told the 2nd guy that you dun like it when he puts his arms around you or rest his head on your shoulder ? or do you like it ?? Maybe its becos you've never said anything before ?? some girls are like that too ..... I know afew ......
As for the 3rd ........ stay away from him. Cut off all contacts from him .... might have escape from metal hospital ....
The touchy thing isnt an issue with other type2 guys as i hav mentioned.it's the way they'd expect me to be there for them when their gfs aint around.it gets on my nerves sometimes as i feel like i m some cheap or inferior substitute.bodyguard,nanny,escort,court jester or buddy.i can't figure out which one i m to them. mayb i m just being over sensitive but i've decided since recently not to make myself so available to them. afterall,i shd hav a life of my own.
"I want a life that is mine!!"*memoirs of a geisha thriller*
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Omg..The type1 fren sounds so me leh. Sqully by any chance do you know me ?
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One question.
Do the three guys know each other? -
i think i belong to the first one how?Originally posted by sqully:There are 3 kinds of guys I encounter now which I m quite confused about.Need some advice on how I should deal with them.
Type 1-the ambigious frd:
sometimes friends. sometimes not. sometimes more than that.
He can be very sweet and do things like send me home or call me when he's overseas and stuff, sometimes the things he says and the way he acts makes it seem like we are somehow more than frds. but the thing is i can never really get hold of him. sometimes he can just disappear for weeks or a few months without any news and still thinks we are very close when he "resurfaces" again. what's really odd about this fellow is at times he makes me feel like i m his most treasured companion, at other times just regular not very close sort of friends and at other times still, not really friends at all.
On several occasions, he had told me that i m his best friend and how i wish it is true. the thing is, nvm whether we would end up dating or not,i really enjoy his companionship and is more than happy to be his best friend or good friend but the way he's so unpredictable torments me cos i dun know to react to him, i dun know wat to expect. i can't even expect what i can from a regular friend. what should i do the next time he appears again? i m getting sick of the numerous roller coaster rides he brought me through.
Type 2-the "buddy":
They are the sort I m girl buddy to, I either know or at least hear a lot abt their gfs and helps solve their girl woes.
It seemed perfectly fine to me.until i realise that most of the times they just use me to do things like fill the few hours waiting gap before they meet their gfs.one even asked me to accompany him to orchard and said that he's going to meet his gf after that. so i asked him "u just want me to accompany u there n then leave?" he smiled. wat is this? i m not his nanny, bodyguard or escort. it has happened more than a few times,the above example being the most explicit one. I dont think any frd deserve to be treated like that.
Though hanging out with them can b fun and i geninuely believed in the frdship we shared, these recurring instances are making me think twice abt it. do they really take me as a buddy? or just some 3rd class entertainment to pass time before they meet their princesses? one of them is quite touchy too, puts his arms around my shoulders, rests his head on my shoulder i thought buddy buddy it's ok but when he tried to hold my hand it's too much. didnt allow him to. what's he thinking? would he do smt like this if his gf is around?
Type 3- the dirty fellow?:
For the first month after we met he was nice,funny and would sms or call me almost everyday. though he made some dirty jokes at times i didnt really mind that. he made me so many promises and said he loved me but i didn't believe him. I m lucky i didn't.
The next 2 or 3 months,he reduced the frequency of contact by at least 75%. he now only smses me like once in a week and talk to me on msn occasionally. and it seems like sex is all that is in his mind now. yesterday after we exchanged a few smses he sent a msg that goes like this: i will grow harder and longer when u touch,want to try? i think he tried to imply smt the msg before this msg and when i didnt understand he seemed rather annoyed and said "do i look like i m kidding?"
And one thing odd abt him is that he said a few girls made him offers and wanted to have sex with him and he said he's not the kind of men who would accept offers. even if it doesn't involve money. I dun understand. If he wants sex so badly he should take those offers. why bother asking me for sexual requests when he knows i would say no? n it's not like he enjoys rejection cos everytime similar situations happen he'd b quite annoyed n cease contacting me for some time. he'd normally just be suggestive and not ask like this so i thought he was just kidding.
m i being too naive? is he just another dirty old man that i should steer clear of? it seems like majority of the guys i met just want to seek gratifications from me,sexual or otherwise. they just want excitement. they dun care abt me actually. having this kind of guys around just makes me feel more lonely as it has dimmed my hopes of finding friends who will ever want to understand me. m i plain unlucky? or there too much of them out there?
All Good mates out here,give me your take on the guys and my situation.Are these guys normal?What should i do? -
Nope.i bet if i tell each kind abt the other 2 kinds they would say these other guys suck.haha.Originally posted by Magnus:One question.
Do the three guys know each other? -
Well, if you want my opinion, all the three guys suckOriginally posted by sqully:Nope.i bet if i tell each kind abt the other 2 kinds they would say these other guys suck.haha. -
4th TYPE:
Talks like he knows everything, and pretends everything revolves around him (how girls are interested in him and such). In reality, he knows squat and is a total born loser with a huge ego to feed. -
Originally posted by schoolworkphobia:Omg..The type1 fren sounds so me leh. Sqully by any chance do you know me ?
phobia,who are you in the first place?Originally posted by FBI:i think i belong to the first one how?
can't judge whether i know u by ur nick.
but u shdn't b the one i m talking abt cos i doubt any of the guys are self aware that they r the kind of guys they r,even if they r aware they most likely will deny it.i m really impressed that u two admitted to being one of the types.*a small round of applause*
that's for being candid,doesnt mean i encourage u to continue being type 1.
it can really nervewrecking for the girl.besides if u like her then it's quite dangerous cos she cant keep on waiting like that.btw,u guys r type 1 to ur gal frds generally or to girls u like? -
Well schoolworkphobia is my main nickname. If it sounds alien to you then most prob we dont know each other ba. Anyway back to the topic, I feel that I'm like that to most gal frds. This sort of situation is most applicable to my female ex classmates and sch mates. This could be the reason why I have less than a handful of close female frens. After reading your descriptions of type1 frens, I got this very shou feeling. After abit of thinking, only then I realise that I'm like that. Yeah, I'm as shock as you are too.Originally posted by sqully:phobia,who are you in the first place?
can't judge whether i know u by ur nick.
but u shdn't b the one i m talking abt cos i doubt any of the guys are self aware that they r the kind of guys they r,even if they r aware they most likely will deny it.i m really impressed that u two admitted to being one of the types.*a small round of applause*
that's for being candid,doesnt mean i encourage u to continue being type 1.
it can really nervewrecking for the girl.besides if u like her then it's quite dangerous cos she cant keep on waiting like that.btw,u guys r type 1 to ur gal frds generally or to girls u like? -
we are like best friends and we knew each other for 4 years and v well. I help her b4 in relationship probs and so does she. I admit i did like her abit some times but i jus don dare to face it for dunno why. I dunno if she hve feelings for me but i can sense there is.Originally posted by sqully:phobia,who are you in the first place?
can't judge whether i know u by ur nick.
but u shdn't b the one i m talking abt cos i doubt any of the guys are self aware that they r the kind of guys they r,even if they r aware they most likely will deny it.i m really impressed that u two admitted to being one of the types.*a small round of applause*
that's for being candid,doesnt mean i encourage u to continue being type 1.
it can really nervewrecking for the girl.besides if u like her then it's quite dangerous cos she cant keep on waiting like that.btw,u guys r type 1 to ur gal frds generally or to girls u like?
Yes i does sweet things such as send her home for the past few years like almost every outings?!
I often kid with her with silly and jacky wu's style jokes. She seems to enjoyed wat i said as oftenly she had a good laugh.
i dunno why i jus don dare to tell her my feelings.
yes i'm described exactly like wat u said.
we are considered v good friends. Soul mates rather.
I dunno if i do make her wait or wat..