When love becomes hate..
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Yesterday, somebody touched my wound unintentionally, and it really hurts.
Once again, I experienced the flood of emotions in the middle of the night. My heart pain so much that I could not control my tears. It's scary that things are still so fresh in my mind. Why do I still cry for someone who started fooling around not long after our break up? Love and gave someone so much but he did not reciprocate. He never appreciated me.
When I think about all the hurt, the promises broken, and all the hurtful words.. I juz hate him. I hate him to the extend that I wish he's dead. And it's a sad thing that he's someone I really loved. Because of him, I can't love again. I tried to forgive him, and I din want to hate him. But somehow, it seems impossible now. I dun want to go back to the days where I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying. It still hurts so much.. what can I do? -
I hope someone is there by yourside to ease ur pain.
Its easier to take it with someone else beside u.
Just as the wounds is there,
Its a reminder.
If you want to be release from it,
Just give urself the will to release yourself from the disappointment in it.
U devoted urself too much to someone,
So its hard to believe that through everything you gave,
He still leaves you blind and hurt.
Many people suffer from it too,
So take consolation from the people around.
That you are not alone,
Nor the worst.
You have friends that love you and care,
You will carry this pain till the day someone comes to clean the wound for you. -
BaoBao,
You mentioned that your ex fooled around after your breakup. Look at it this way, he didn't cheat on you. He only started fooling around after your commitment to each other had ended. In order for you to heal, you hafta release your pain & your anger.
Sometimes, I think it's easier to hate an ex, because it seems easier to let go that way.
What's heartening to read is that you don't wish to wake up crying & go to sleep crying, & you want your life to be better. However, Nobody can help you except yourself, cliche as it may sound. Friends may be around to support you, people may chip in to advise you, but if you don't wanna pull yourself outta this rut, then Nothing anyone does will be able to change a thing.
I'm only gonna say this once, because I hate repeating myself over & over. You're a big girl, BaoBao. Trust me, if you're stronger, at the end of the day, you'll feel proud of yourself that you've lived in spite of him, & you're doing well in spite of him. The best revenge is doing so well, it makes him stew.
If you can call it revenge by then, because you're too busy enjoying life to give a damn what he thinks.
Depend on your friends, cry & talk about it, but give yourself a dateline to release that anger & pain & rebuild your life. Why stop loving other people because of a jerk/rat/moron? Celebrate every small milestone you've made, colour your hair, buy a pretty shirt, etc.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:Yesterday, somebody touched my wound unintentionally, and it really hurts.
Once again, I experienced the flood of emotions in the middle of the night. My heart pain so much that I could not control my tears. It's scary that things are still so fresh in my mind. Why do I still cry for someone who started fooling around not long after our break up? Love and gave someone so much but he did not reciprocate. He never appreciated me.
When I think about all the hurt, the promises broken, and all the hurtful words.. I juz hate him. I hate him to the extend that I wish he's dead. And it's a sad thing that he's someone I really loved. Because of him, I can't love again. I tried to forgive him, and I din want to hate him. But somehow, it seems impossible now. I dun want to go back to the days where I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying. It still hurts so much.. what can I do? -
this is very true. one of my close girlfrens gave me this advice when I was hurting from my break up with my ex, and I decided to follow it. And I think I have managed to show my ex that I could still live and enjoy life after breaking up with him, and I think it did make him stewOriginally posted by FeowFeow:The best revenge is doing so well, it makes him stew.
If you can call it revenge by then, because you're too busy enjoying life to give a damn what he thinks.
Depend on your friends, cry & talk about it, but give yourself a dateline to release that anger & pain & rebuild your life. Why stop loving other people because of a jerk/rat/moron? Celebrate every small milestone you've made, colour your hair, buy a pretty shirt, etc.
FeowFeow
And it was said that love and hate are two extreme sides of emotions. You will not hate someone that much if you have not loved him just as much before. If you are just neutral towards someone, he will not have that much effect on you.
Sometimes we think that our wounds have healed, but it just takes one action, maybe even one word to pick on them, and start the bleeding again. -
FeowFeow, I did ask him about him and her, but he lied. He said they were impossible. But I found out that he later brought her home to sleep. Was he cheating on me when we were together? I duno. This girl might have already came into the picture before our break up. But I give him the benefit of the doubt.Originally posted by FeowFeow:BaoBao,
You mentioned that your ex fooled around after your breakup. Look at it this way, he didn't cheat on you. He only started fooling around after your commitment to each other had ended. In order for you to heal, you hafta release your pain & your anger.
Sometimes, I think it's easier to hate an ex, because it seems easier to let go that way.
What's heartening to read is that you don't wish to wake up crying & go to sleep crying, & you want your life to be better. However, Nobody can help you except yourself, cliche as it may sound. Friends may be around to support you, people may chip in to advise you, but if you don't wanna pull yourself outta this rut, then Nothing anyone does will be able to change a thing.
I'm only gonna say this once, because I hate repeating myself over & over. You're a big girl, BaoBao. Trust me, if you're stronger, at the end of the day, you'll feel proud of yourself that you've lived in spite of him, & you're doing well in spite of him. The best revenge is doing so well, it makes him stew.
If you can call it revenge by then, because you're too busy enjoying life to give a damn what he thinks.
Depend on your friends, cry & talk about it, but give yourself a dateline to release that anger & pain & rebuild your life. Why stop loving other people because of a jerk/rat/moron? Celebrate every small milestone you've made, colour your hair, buy a pretty shirt, etc.
FeowFeow
I try to pamper myself whenever I can. I love myself for what I am. But that doesn't help to erase the hurt.
How to release the pain and anger? -
It's unbelievable, but he did.Originally posted by Sekundes:So its hard to believe that through everything you gave,
He still leaves you blind and hurt.
he's heartless enough to do that. -
Hi bbb,
I m very sory to hear this.
I hope you gather all your strength to overcome it and live life to the fullest. Like feow feow said, the best way of 'revenge' is to live well and happy...
then again, do not bother to wish him dead or thinking of revenge, it will only make you sadder, cos i think it only makes you not able to keep this person out of your mind.....
i have hated ppl before but of course its not the painful kind like yours....with time, with philosophy i learnt, i have learnt to live with internal peace and hate ultimately leaves me....
you will have to add Ah Q ness into your thoughs...look at it this way....at least you have him out of your life before even more harms done....etc etc....give yourself every good reason that you should actually be glad that it has ended....
found the following website...hope its of some use....healing of heart is not a easy thing...but you needed strong mind....sometimes we don't realise, its our own heart and mind that refuse to let go the pain, we are the ones who has choose to remember and holding on to it....you need time and patient to heal and mend your heart...do have some friends who you can share your sorrow with and at times when u really need, tok it out...
you will get over it, given time....all the best....
http://members.shaw.ca/sscorn/ -
I dun tink there is anyway to erase these kind of memories, it will stay with us ...... it'll be stored in that small dark corner of our brains and it will pop once in awhile to hunt us ...... its jus maybe as time passes, the hurt will get lesser until it becomes a reminder to us that all.....
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Thanks splashy.Originally posted by a_splash:Hi bbb,
I m very sory to hear this.
I hope you gather all your strength to overcome it and live life to the fullest. Like feow feow said, the best way of 'revenge' is to live well and happy...
then again, do not bother to wish him dead or thinking of revenge, it will only make you sadder, cos i think it only makes you not able to keep this person out of your mind.....
i have hated ppl before but of course its not the painful kind like yours....with time, with philosophy i learnt, i have learnt to live with internal peace and hate ultimately leaves me....
you will have to add Ah Q ness into your thoughs...look at it this way....at least you have him out of your life before even more harms done....etc etc....give yourself every good reason that you should actually be glad that it has ended....
found the following website...hope its of some use....healing of heart is not a easy thing...but you needed strong mind....sometimes we don't realise, its our own heart and mind that refuse to let go the pain, we are the ones who has choose to remember and holding on to it....you need time and patient to heal and mend your heart...do have some friends who you can share your sorrow with and at times when u really need, tok it out...
you will get over it, given time....all the best....
http://members.shaw.ca/sscorn/
I do know that the best revenge is to live better than him. I'm trying.. despite been thru so many things.. I nv give up trying.
It's never my intention to hate him, coz I nv wanted to hate someone I loved. He's the first and the only one. The damage was done when we were ending and after we ended. So it does no any good that we ended ya? If only I nv met him, I would be much happier.
I have forgiven him before.. i think it doesn't matter to him how i feel, doesn't matter whether I hate him or not. After i found out that he slept with her, I can never convince myself to forgive him again. -
everyone who has been dissapointed in love will haev experienced loss, misery, pain and hate among other forms of self punishment.
fret not. when the right person comes along. he through patience and understanding will be able to coax back the warmth into your heart dispelling the darkness and the cold.
right now jus concentrate on living your life to the fullest. in work and in play. always remember that your frens and family are there for you.
and if you do have lotsa anger to vent. do like me. go attack a clone or irritating idiot in forums...
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i got a hobby and vented everything there
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Hi bbb, here's something for you.
The Art of Letting Go
by Consrael
It's over. He's gone.
Why do we have to part while
the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry when
somebody bids goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet
only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread,
poems left undone, songs left unsung,
love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship,
one of the hardest things to do
is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is as hard as breaking a crystal
because you'll never know when you
will be able to pick up the pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting:
it is they who stay behind that suffer,
because they are left
with memories of a love
that was meant to be,
a love that was.
At the beginning and at the end
of a relationship,
we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.
Unfair as it may seem,
but that's the way love goes.
That's the drama, the bittersweet
and the risk of falling in love.
After all, nothing is constant but change.
Everything will eventually come to its end
without us knowing when,
without us knowing how,
without us even knowing why.
And we must forget not because we have to
but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come
not as a single spy but in batallion.
It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do,
every song you hear,
every turn of your head,
every move of your body,
every beat of your heart,
every blink of your eye and every breath
you take always reminds you of him.
It's like a stab of a knife,
a torture in the night.
Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine,
there are billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely
and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art,
but letting go entails
special skills sparkled
with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes
a little push on our part.
Acceptance plays a part.
Not all love stories end with
"...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would
mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to
temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end
like every dawn has its dusk.
It's something we can't control,
something we had to live up.
It's over.
He's gone. But life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time
where questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude and
promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday. -
ehhh.. i always do leh.Originally posted by skeujin:and if you do have lotsa anger to vent. do like me. go attack a clone or irritating idiot in forums... -
beautiful poem maox2
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I suppose my personal reaction differs : ) There was 1 ex who made me really hate him to pieces. Although I was sad for about 2 weeks, I told myself that he was Not worth my tears, & why should I make my eyes swollen & ugly because of him.
When he finally saw me very happy without him, he started getting all mad & married a girl within 1 or 2 months of meeting her, & when his sister (who's a great friend of mine) asked him why he was rushing things, he replied that it was I who caused him to do that. Talk about pushing the blame
But by then, I was having such a great time, I didn't care whatever he said. It felt like a personal triumph.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by rainee:this is very true. one of my close girlfrens gave me this advice when I was hurting from my break up with my ex, and I decided to follow it. And I think I have managed to show my ex that I could still live and enjoy life after breaking up with him, and I think it did make him stew
And it was said that love and hate are two extreme sides of emotions. You will not hate someone that much if you have not loved him just as much before. If you are just neutral towards someone, he will not have that much effect on you.
Sometimes we think that our wounds have healed, but it just takes one action, maybe even one word to pick on them, and start the bleeding again. -
Dear Mao Mao,
I read that before, even put it in my blog.
Thanks anyway.
bbb -
lai lai i got the next few hours free... lets aim sum1 n tag team him...Originally posted by browniebaobao:ehhh.. i always do leh. -
aim u can or not?Originally posted by skeujin:lai lai i got the next few hours free... lets aim sum1 n tag team him... -
I think the best revenge is when you can change yr mindset, focus your attention on someone else. Once you can do this, your emotions will go away naturally.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Thanks splashy.
I do know that the best revenge is to live better than him. I'm trying.. despite been thru so many things.. I nv give up trying.
It's never my intention to hate him, coz I nv wanted to hate someone I loved. He's the first and the only one. The damage was done when we were ending and after we ended. So it does no any good that we ended ya? If only I nv met him, I would be much happier.
I have forgiven him before.. i think it doesn't matter to him how i feel, doesn't matter whether I hate him or not. After i found out that he slept with her, I can never convince myself to forgive him again.
You know you have succeed if you can meet him face-to-face one day and you have no more hatred towards him. He has become just another acquaintance and you are neutral towards him.
Things happen in this world, which may or may not be to your liking. But you have a CHOICE. You may not be able to control others' actions and thinking but You can CHOOSE how you want to response to situations. It's all in your mind.
Whether you turn out happy in the end boils down to your thinking and response to situations. You will be surprised if you can just divert your thoughts elsewhere or on someone else. You'll recover from all emotional baggage much faster. -
I would agree with Homebody..Originally posted by Homebody:I think the best revenge is when you can change yr mindset, focus your attention on someone else. Once you can do this, your emotions will go away naturally.
You know you have succeed if you can meet him face-to-face one day and you have no more hatred towards him. He has become just another acquaintance and you are neutral towards him.
Things happen in this world, which may or may not be to your liking. But you have a CHOICE. You may not be able to control others' actions and thinking but You can CHOOSE how you want to response to situations. It's all in your mind.
Whether you turn out happy in the end boils down to your thinking and response to situations. You will be surprised if you can just divert your thoughts elsewhere or on someone else. You'll recover from all emotional baggage much faster.
Cheers -
be our guest, fire at willOriginally posted by browniebaobao:aim u can or not? -
Ok, this sounds worse than I thought. If he slept with her DURING your relationship, then it suggests his level of commitment to the relationship, & his respect for you.
Yes, it is painful to find out that you have been so horribly betrayed by somebody whom you've cared so deeply about, & I understand it has left scars.
But you hafta ask yourself, is he worth giving up your chance at happiness? Because there's some guy walking down the street who's 100 times better than this jerk who broke your heart.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:FeowFeow, I did ask him about him and her, but he lied. He said they were impossible. But I found out that he later brought her home to sleep. Was he cheating on me when we were together? I duno. This girl might have already came into the picture before our break up. But I give him the benefit of the doubt.
I try to pamper myself whenever I can. I love myself for what I am. But that doesn't help to erase the hurt.
How to release the pain and anger? -
Gonna cheer up, bbb.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Dear Mao Mao,
I read that before, even put it in my blog.
Thanks anyway.
bbb
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Don't let this jerk bring you down so easily.
Gonna be strong, ok? -
there's a cure. and people used to tell me this.
time heals. -
for me, i still find it weird to hate someone u love
does that meant that either u never really love him enough or just becos the love isn't mutual?