how to let him know nicely..

• smallcloud

  6 Mar 06, 22:10

  Originally posted by choco B:

  (1) If you two dunno where to go then you have to shoulder part of the responsibility too. Even though he is a guy it is not his job to come up with ideas to entertain you all the time. If the essential thing is to spend time together as a couple, then learn to enjoy doing the mundane stuff or doing nothing together, like just hang out at each other's house and watch tv. That is still better than spending time apart. After some time it's not possible for every date to be an exciting one.
  

  i don't mind not doing anything.. i don't mind juz rotting together at home, either of our homes. but usually its the guy who gets bored.
  
  

  Originally posted by choco B:

  (2) It is obvious that YOUR definition of "missing-you" actions is different from HIS definition of "missing-you" actions. Having different definitions is expected when you have two different people - you can't read each other's minds, you're not clones.
  
  With everything you should try to reach a compromise. Let him know YOUR definitions and ask that he does some. But it is also important for you to recognise HIS definitions and appreciate them when he does it his way.
  

  this i agree. prolly its about mismatched expectations.. will work on that. thanks.
  
  
• 1bigmess

  10 Mar 06, 01:06

  Originally posted by smallcloud:

  how do u let your other half know nicely *without causing any unhappiness* that u'r upset and disappointed?
  
  eg.
  
  he tells u the night b4 to wake him up so that he'll be coming over to meet u and so eager to see u etc. but the next day, u 2 duno where to go(no programs), end up he stay home, u stay home.
  he claims he misses u, but juz never seems to comply to your definition of "missing-you" actions.
  
  how...

  tell him what u wish that he'll do, "bb, xiang ni.. hug hug.."
  
  
• shrekho

  10 Mar 06, 01:35

  Originally posted by smallcloud:

  point 1
  
  we both live pretty near each other. cab fare less than $5. and i've not insisted that he muz send me home each time. i drive sometimes, so it'll b me sending him home instead.
  
  point 2
  
  i've tried to learn every thing that he's interested in. from things like fishing, to playing dota, so juz that i can company him in his activities.
  
  point 3
  
  its prolly the lack of communication we're talking about here. sometimes i'm so stressed out about my school work and stuff, i juz wanted to see him. its like, juz being with him takes my stress away kind of thing. i know it sounds silly coz its only temporary. but even so, it helps me regain focus.
  prolly its becoz i can't juz tell him directly that "hey boyfriend, u are my pillar of moral support. i need to pass my burden to u to carry for awhile. can?"
  and when i can't get to see him, all the disappointment builds up.
  
  maybe its juz a difference between females and males.
  
  when the male is stressed out, the last person he'll turn to is his gf. whereas when the female is stressed out, the first person she'll turn to, is her bf.
  
  juz my lil point of view.

  My GF does the same thing as you! When she is stressed up or anything, she would love to have me around her, let her hug tight tight like teddy bear... New nick name: Big Bad Bear.. But I can't, cos travelling from kallang to Yishun at 1am is damn bombastic to my wallet.... Emptying every coin that might be needed
  
  Sadly.. it's really yr bf that is having MAJOR problems. I feel it might be that he is starting to take you for granted. If this goes on, he will really take you for granted, or cease to exist. Might be a good time to start talking about the topics of neglect. I only knew that my gf felt neglected after a lecture from her and my buddies.
  
  Or, alternately, possible to pass the message to him from a friend? A buddy even? Or the games he play online. Do not drop hints. But start off with a little question and get rolling from there.
  
  1.5 cents