Molested.
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I know. But from what I see and observe, I think she is a quite brave girl.
To, you know, type all this and let it be known to all of us. Nevertheless, if she think about what will happen if she report this and let the molester be identified and caught, she will be quite happy for she saved HERSELF and the SOCIETY. In how? She saved us from getting molested.
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it's up to her whether she wana make a police report or not ba..Originally posted by ^spidee^:What if the molestor strikes again? -
so its betta to discuss her woes here and read by hundreds of ppl?? tsk tsk... isnt it betta to report....duhhOriginally posted by browniebaobao:if she go to the police, she will have to face the embarrassment again.. and those nasty questions that they will ask.. worse if go to court. -
yea, must be really tough for her..Originally posted by browniebaobao:it's up to her whether she wana make a police report or not ba.. -
She IS going through a rough patch. Hope she will get over this soon! BEST OF LUCK!
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Threaten him back. Bah, if you keep all these inside, the molestor will stand to benefit! Kick him, punch him! Retaliate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( And all you perverts, get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean it that way. )
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pls start by doing all the above and more to this evil devil FIRSTOriginally posted by Devil1976:You should SCREAM at the TOP of YOUR VOICE NEXT TIME....
LEAVE the THINKINGS, WORRYINGS and EXPLANATIONS to the GUY... -
it's of cos much easier to disclose secrets when i m just an online entity..so wat if hundreds of ppl see it?even if they disapprove of me or watever nobody knows me.there's no embarassment as opposed to face to face disclosure.n ppl whom i interact with on a daily basis n stuff..if they hav any judgement or some attitude it will affect me more ya?Originally posted by mhcampboy:so its betta to discuss her woes here and read by hundreds of ppl?? tsk tsk... isnt it betta to report....duhh -
isnt it just amazing that you have gone through a trauma...and u still got the desire to go online??.... i mean.... strange rite... its betta to talk to the authorities on this...Originally posted by sqully:it's of cos much easier to disclose secrets when i m just an online entity..so wat if hundreds of ppl see it?even if they disapprove of me or watever nobody knows me.there's no embarassment as opposed to face to face disclosure.n ppl whom i interact with on a daily basis n stuff..if they hav any judgement or some attitude it will affect me more ya? -
Originally posted by Boo777:
Remember his face and report to police. Get a lawyer and sue him until he bankrupt and serve his term in jail.
Besides, the inmates in changi prison doesn't like molesters/rapists much
hw u noe?? -
Originally posted by sqully:i can still remember one of my first traumatic experience. it happened when i was in sec 3. there was this guy i recognised as one of the regular faces i see on the bus everyday. i started to notice after some time that he always sits ard me and soon after he started to sit beside me. i tot it was no big deal probably just coindeince then one day even when the seat beside me was occupied,he'd sit somewhere near and wait for the person beside me to alight n he would move to me.
at first he didnt do anything so ok. i started to feel like smt warm being pressed against my tights or my stomach but i tot mayb it's a little squeezy or smt it's not uncommon that in buses sometimes u hav the other person's body pressed against u. and i always fell asleep on the damn long journey so when i feel smt and opened my eyes,i always see his hands with his briefcase so i thought i must be thinking too much. it took some time for me to realise that instead of alighting at yio chu kang he now alights at paya lebar. i was puzzled.
and he started to wave goodbye to me after he alighted from the bus i didnt understand why. so there was this time i think was he soon alighting or smt that i finally caught him. i saw his hand pressing aginst my knee and sliding under my sch skirt. i was shocked. upon realising that i hav discovered his act, he pretended to hav his hands in front of his briefcase and alighted quickly. the next day he still got the cheek to sit beside me. but i moved away this time. i'd rather stand for more than an hour. and i never saw him again. looking back at it, i must hav been molested for like at least a month or so. i was real dumb. i was so frustrated with myself and was gorggy when i went to sch for a few days after i dawned upon the fact. till today, he's the pervert that haunts my head most frequently,i can never get rid of him.
It was one hellva experience, however through this experience, it also subconsciously revealed your wrecked self-perception and inferiority complex.
Who says you have to be pretty before anyone would attempt to molest you? In fact, most molestation strikes at ladies whom seemed docile enough not to retaliate. When your womanly instinct tells you that something is wrong... you must not shake it off, thinking that it is only an illusion.
It's your intruder alarm screaming warning into your head.
Do NOT allow this deep rooted infestation to proliferate into your soul and cause permanent scars that would render you disability in all aspects of your life.
I hope you can consider the following three points:
I) You do NOT have to resort to simplify/uglify your physical outlook to prevent molestation from taking place. You only need to deter people from taking advantage of you as you display signs of aggressiveness whenever perverts tries to be funny. When your self esteem is failing (in your case, it is likely to be), usually it will affect your outlook, the way you present to the world and physical appearance.
You are beautiful and lovable in your own ways. Let no one tell you otherwise, especially yourself. Do not lose this natural self.
II) Do NOT develop a twisted attitude towards Love and Relationship. Your shadowy past might inflict illusionary mindset of how you perceive man and relationship.
Not all man are perverts. Learn to be objective.
III) Restore yourself. Release the past that held you bondage and understand that things are happening because you are young & is passive to respond. Release yourself also means having to exculpate yourself.
Free from blame... free to move.
I don't know how much damage it has cause you psychologically and emotionally, however, it would be good if you could relate this to people you can trust as it could help you to accelerate healing and resolve your unseen shadow.
Cheers -
I would like to add on further to what Yunnie has said...
I believe perverts choose their victims. They don't have to be very pretty, or have a very good figure. No.
They go for those that they think who will not report them. The docile people. And they may do it in stages... from being close to you from the start, then to accidentally touching you, and then the rest.
I seriously detest molesters, rapists.. etc, because they are the ones who make the female side dislike, detest guys, or maybe even go the lesbian way.
But, lets face it. They are everywhere. From Singapore, to Australia, to India... they're everywhere. And you can't do anything about it.
But what you CAN do, is to sound out. Cry out or scream when someone touches you with obvious malicious intent. If you think its an accident, tell the guy to be careful.
I can see that your self esteem has been seriously damaged by this and you need your life back! Resolve to do something about it the next time this happens... and if you can recall his face or see him again.. Just shout out.
The courage is within you. The world is unfair, but you can make it a slightly better place..
Be well.. -
hey... sometimes friend's comments can hurt the most... I can tell u have quite a low self-esteem and this is actually what the pervs look for in their victima, they do not select victims base on looks per say. they are counting on the fact that because of their victim's low esteem, they'll keep quiet and not make a scene...Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here.
keep in mind that most of the times these perverts hate to have the attention drawn to them...
If this ever happens to u again (touch wood la!!), just turn around and shout "hey BACK OFF!!!" remember to look fierce... cos these men prey on ppl who are too timid to voice out.. so just shout at him.
what's the worse case scenerio, ppl may think you are over sensitive? but they will also be sure to have the doubt in their mind and that perv. would think twice before trying the same number again.
be brave!
Remember, NOBODY EXCEPT YOURSELF can make you the VICTIM... -
Next time something similar happens just SCREAM!!
If the guy is guilty, he would most probably run away.
If he's not, then just apologise then walk away. -
i think its pple like you that would want to call police say pple molest you when not confirmed and get the guy into trouble because of the stupid lawOriginally posted by mamamamama:Next time something similar happens just SCREAM!!
If the guy is guilty, he would most probably run away.
If he's not, then just apologise then walk away.
can you imagine what the pple around would think of the guy if that happened?? even if he is innocent. -
Tembak HIM!!
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hisoka..speakin frm experience issit?Originally posted by hisoka:i think its pple like you that would want to call police say pple molest you when not confirmed and get the guy into trouble because of the stupid law
can you imagine what the pple around would think of the guy if that happened?? even if he is innocent.
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bbb,linling,spidee n folks...thanks for ya concern..really appreciate it.
but i m not really considering reporting to the police now cos 1)it has been quite sometime alr n i wont b able to tell details like the bus license plate no. and other stuff 2)i m in no condition to withstand rounds of interrogations by the police then my family n frds,think it will only worsen my current state of mind
after some thoughts i think wat i need now is to work on my inferiority complex. i need to gain my confidence as a person again before i can pick myself up from where i fell and start recovering. -
oi who the hell molest my fan? i got bust him!Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here. -
if it happens again call me. Molest my fans ar... want to die ar?!Originally posted by smudgey:hey... sometimes friend's comments can hurt the most... I can tell u have quite a low self-esteem and this is actually what the pervs look for in their victima, they do not select victims base on looks per say. they are counting on the fact that because of their victim's low esteem, they'll keep quiet and not make a scene...
keep in mind that most of the times these perverts hate to have the attention drawn to them...
If this ever happens to u again (touch wood la!!), just turn around and shout "hey BACK OFF!!!" remember to look fierce... cos these men prey on ppl who are too timid to voice out.. so just shout at him.
what's the worse case scenerio, ppl may think you are over sensitive? but they will also be sure to have the doubt in their mind and that perv. would think twice before trying the same number again.
be brave!
Remember, NOBODY EXCEPT YOURSELF can make you the VICTIM... -
if some one screams near me i will be the first to ask her what happened. most forestall any questions about it being meOriginally posted by alexkusu:hisoka..speakin frm experience issit? 
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/pat patOriginally posted by sqully:bbb,linling,spidee n folks...thanks for ya concern..really appreciate it.
but i m not really considering reporting to the police now cos 1)it has been quite sometime alr n i wont b able to tell details like the bus license plate no. and other stuff 2)i m in no condition to withstand rounds of interrogations by the police then my family n frds,think it will only worsen my current state of mind
after some thoughts i think wat i need now is to work on my inferiority complex. i need to gain my confidence as a person again before i can pick myself up from where i fell and start recovering.
*offers two slices of cheesecake* -
Nonsense!Originally posted by browniebaobao:if she go to the police, she will have to face the embarrassment again.. and those nasty questions that they will ask.. worse if go to court.
Give our Police Force some credit OK.
They'll handle the case professionally.
But....
Report, and that guy will be treated as if he's guilty, until proven innocent.
So make sure the correct guy is pointed out. -
yeah must take pity on us poor guys who are mistreated. even if can some how get out as not guilty also the public and media will look at you weird one.Originally posted by mancha:Nonsense!
Give our Police Force some credit OK.
They'll handle the case professionally.
But....
Report, and that guy will be treated as if he's guilty, until proven innocent.
So make sure the correct guy is pointed out.
anyway i don't see how traeting the guy as guilty straight away is professional
stupid law and stupid sheep
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I think if it is over for some time.. it is difficult for you to seek police help
but... this step that you have taken, speaking out
is at least one step towards recovery
Do speak with a trained counseler... they don't make any decisions for you
but at least can listen to you without being judgemental
and perhaps that can be the start of your own acceptance of what had happened and who you are.
More importantly, it is a step for you to gain the confidence to handle it if it happens again.