Molested.
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i also want!Originally posted by alexkusu:/pat pat
*offers two slices of cheesecake* -
girl, u can do it de, put the past behind u and look ahead.Originally posted by sqully:bbb,linling,spidee n folks...thanks for ya concern..really appreciate it.
but i m not really considering reporting to the police now cos 1)it has been quite sometime alr n i wont b able to tell details like the bus license plate no. and other stuff 2)i m in no condition to withstand rounds of interrogations by the police then my family n frds,think it will only worsen my current state of mind
after some thoughts i think wat i need now is to work on my inferiority complex. i need to gain my confidence as a person again before i can pick myself up from where i fell and start recovering. -
Originally posted by mancha:Nonsense!
Give our Police Force some credit OK.
They'll handle the case professionally.
But....
Report, and that guy will be treated as if he's guilty, until proven innocent.
So make sure the correct guy is pointed out.
give police force some credit?
oh.. have i ever told u that the police failed to inform us that my dad met with an accident? and they only came and knock on my door 3 hours after his death, 6 hours after the accident?
even my bro who is in doing national service in police now, feels that sg police are slacking.
dun mean to discuss this actually, but i cant help it. -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:
give police force some credit?
oh.. have i ever told u that the police failed to inform us that my dad met with an accident? and they only came and knock on my door 3 hours after his death, 6 hours after the accident?
even my bro who is in doing national service in police now, feels that sg police are slacking.
dun mean to discuss this actually, but i cant help it.
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kick him in the nut!
that sicko bastard!
dun be sad or ashamed. U should be angry, be very angry and be brave!
Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here. -
so many replies already....hmn...
so, sqully, have you stood up brave to face the facts now? Hope you pick yourself up. Being molested is not your fault. But unable to face it is your responsibility!
If it really haunts you so much, seek counsellor help. There are listening ears around. Dont worry about people not believing you! As long as you believe in yourself, it is good enough! Next time, stood up against such perverts! Hit them hard and shout on top of your voice k!! -
I believe in what u say. I believe too that u have to seek help in letting these scenario pass by and have the confidence to stand up to molester.
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Girl, I tell you one thing, just make a report. The police and law are on our side. Believe me, I am telling you first hand experience .
Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here. -
Report your case to police and get psychiatrist help. Your condition isn't too serious until you need medication, I think so. Get help soon, don't drag it. I am not sure if the psychiatrist will tell your parents or not. But if are uncomfortable with the doctors, perhaps try calling one of the helplines listed in this forum. They will be able to help. Since you can remember his face, just report him. Get a friend or two to go the police station with you. Preferably someone whom you trust.Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here.
People always have this misconception that ugly women won't be molested, as seen in your post. This is completely wrong, and that is why you are often targeted. Your low self-esteem makes you even an easier target, because he knows he can continue torturing you mentally.
After this, train on your courage. Know how to reject people. Don't just sit there and let them terrorize you. Know your rights. Remember, never to hit back. Just run away. Hitting back will result in a lawsuit for injuring people. When sitting in a bus, avoid sitting inside. Sit outside so you can flee easily.
Don't stay out for too late in the night. Come back as early as possible. If you are going to be late, ask someone to fetch you. Call your parents or if your parents allow, stay over at a friend's house. -
Please don't do it. In fact, you can be sued instead for hurting him. Even though you are protecting yourself, hurting others is wrong. There are some cases of molesters getting off without any legal lawsuit but women being sent to jail because they hurt them.Originally posted by 1bigmess:kick him in the nut! that sicko bastard!
dun be sad or ashamed. U should be angry, be very angry and be brave! -
SG laws are extremely protective of girls. My advice is to report it to the police. Dont make us pay taxes for nothing
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Kenot. Have some ice cream insteadOriginally posted by browniebaobao:i also want!
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Ya let the police do something..Originally posted by ubermagicseller:SG laws are extremely protective of girls. My advice is to report it to the police. Dont make us pay taxes for nothing
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Make a police report.. u seems very good at describing.. it would be a help =)
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Hi sqully, I am so sorry to hear about your plight.Originally posted by sqully:bbb,linling,spidee n folks...thanks for ya concern..really appreciate it.
but i m not really considering reporting to the police now cos 1)it has been quite sometime alr n i wont b able to tell details like the bus license plate no. and other stuff 2)i m in no condition to withstand rounds of interrogations by the police then my family n frds,think it will only worsen my current state of mind
after some thoughts i think wat i need now is to work on my inferiority complex. i need to gain my confidence as a person again before i can pick myself up from where i fell and start recovering.
My advice to you is not to be scared that interrogation/telling your friends will worsen your current state of mind. On the contary, by keeping it within yourself you will only suffer more. Only when you speak about it to someone mature and understanding then u can move on with life.
These multiple bad memories will only serve to drag you down as it continues to haunt you. If you read the newspapers, you are not alone in this. There have been rape victims, victims of family violence, people who can't take break-ups etc. It has been a recognized problem in society and sociologists have long studied it. There are many councillors, psychologists and social workers who are well-trained in handling these issues. Now that you are brave enough to post it online, take a step further and seek professional help. Give yourself a chance to recover.
We are only online computer geeks.
We can only give you some advice. It is up to you to stand up for yourself. Don't worry about friends not believing you, true friends will stick with you thick and thin. Learn to trust them more.
Good luck and take care! -
Refering to some posts abt "ugly women do get molested.there's no need to be ashamed of it." i understand that i hav to accept this fact...i mean no offence to those who suggested it as i know it's out of good intentions but..wouldnt it do more harm than good to my self-esteem to wake up everyday telling myself that "i m ugly"?
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This is like when a girl ask her bf... "why do u like me? I am ugly and fat".. and the guy says "I dont mind. you have a great personality and I love it"Originally posted by sqully:Refering to some posts abt "ugly women do get molested.there's no need to be ashamed of it." i understand that i hav to accept this fact...i mean no offence to those who suggested it as i know it's out of good intentions but..wouldnt it do more harm than good to my self-esteem to wake up everyday telling myself that "i m ugly"?
and the girl only hears "he thinks I am fat and ugly and the only thing he likes about me is my personality".
Basically being molested has nothing to do with how you LOOK. Doesnt mean being pretty means they deserve to be molested more. It works both ways. The posters totally doesnt mean to say you are ugly, just reassuring you that molestation can take place as long as you are human, regardless of race age sex looks. So if it makes you feel better, you can wake up everyday thinking.. "i am human, and because I am human I can be sometimes vulnerable and recognise that I need help." and having thought that, perhaps seek professional help until you feel better abt yourself.
The first step towards recovery is realising you need help and it is OKAY to seek help. -
we are not saying you are targeted because u look ugly, we are saying that pervs target women with lower self-esteem. be it if their pretty or ugly....Originally posted by sqully:Refering to some posts abt "ugly women do get molested.there's no need to be ashamed of it." i understand that i hav to accept this fact...i mean no offence to those who suggested it as i know it's out of good intentions but..wouldnt it do more harm than good to my self-esteem to wake up everyday telling myself that "i m ugly"?
ever seen the comercial where the tennis coach is telling this boy's dad how horrible his son is at tennis, but the dad censored out the negative and believed that the coach is actually complimenting his son?
this is the situation. except you are all bent on believing that you are "ugly" so no matter what others say, you'll only hear the negative. -
nope...as previously mentioned these people go for people who seem insecure and perhaps unlikely to make reports...could be seen from the way he tested the waters by attempting to get near you to see if you retaliated. since you didnt make much objection, it only encouraged him to go further...so maybe next time if similar incidents happen again ask a friend to accompany you home? or if he shifts beside you make sure you move away and give a grossed-out face? just let him know youre disgusted and show some resistance, more often than not theyll be scared...and a quote for you:Originally posted by sqully:Refering to some posts abt "ugly women do get molested.there's no need to be ashamed of it." i understand that i hav to accept this fact...i mean no offence to those who suggested it as i know it's out of good intentions but..wouldnt it do more harm than good to my self-esteem to wake up everyday telling myself that "i m ugly"?
we may be products of our past, but not necessarily prisoners of it.
break free of it and look ahead to the future...i know its hard but at least try, we're always here for you =) -
Mmm... A little sidetrack here... Somehow I feel that the police in Singapore is more like working for the gahment (full-stop) than doing the public a service... Like many professionals out there, they've learnt to become more 'practical' and 'realistic' in this environment created by our gahment... They're now more like private militants small wing army employed by the gahment for their own usage... Even the so called 'maintaining peace & order' is only so as to put the whole Singapore under a more managable control under our leaders...Originally posted by browniebaobao:
give police force some credit?
oh.. have i ever told u that the police failed to inform us that my dad met with an accident? and they only came and knock on my door 3 hours after his death, 6 hours after the accident?
even my bro who is in doing national service in police now, feels that sg police are slacking.
dun mean to discuss this actually, but i cant help it. -
Not waking up everyday and telling yourself that you are ugly. It won't help. Look it from another perspective.Originally posted by sqully:Refering to some posts abt "ugly women do get molested.there's no need to be ashamed of it." i understand that i hav to accept this fact...i mean no offence to those who suggested it as i know it's out of good intentions but..wouldnt it do more harm than good to my self-esteem to wake up everyday telling myself that "i m ugly"?
Does poverty strike you whether you are ugly or pretty? It doesn't right? This is a bad example, but is worth thinking about.
Practically everything in this world works both ways. Just as the World Wide Web is invented to help make things simpler, there are people who abuse it and cause trouble for us. -
Well, maybe your dad didn't bring out his identity card, which resulted in the delay. Your brother's experience... I'm not too sure.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
give police force some credit?
oh.. have i ever told u that the police failed to inform us that my dad met with an accident? and they only came and knock on my door 3 hours after his death, 6 hours after the accident?
even my bro who is in doing national service in police now, feels that sg police are slacking.
dun mean to discuss this actually, but i cant help it. -
besides tinking of urself, wad if u didnt get tat guy caught, and he prey for another victim?
kick his ass with the anger and sense of justice.
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u take his picture//..or video..
then distribute it ..
haha..
molester caught in the act!
what a nice oscar nominee -
well..i guess now the problem is more of how do i gain a healthy self-esteem?since it is evident that nothing could possibly improve if i don't fix this.