Molested.
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u mean in singapore?? well,there was a time when i knew lots of people cos i was a bubbly extrovert but these people come and go. now that my life ceased to be exciting, i guess people hav disappeared from the scene too. and bonds with my close frds had diluted as they became too busy to hav time for me. they rarely contact me nowadays,much less meetup with me. n i hav few frds in uni cos i didnt join any cca as i promised my parents that i would concentrate on my studies this time round.Originally posted by sammiegal:hey you do have friends here..
all in all, i hav become rather withdrawn n isolated nowadays. i dun really hav anyone i would turn to in times of need. i desperately want to break out of this newly fotified shell i m confined to but i dun know why i simply cant hav enough energy to..i m trying darn hard to ignite the spark in me again but somehow the winds seem too strong.
sorry if wat i said dont make sense or doesnt ans the question..i was blabbering alr.. -
[quote]Originally posted by sqully:
[b]
Just stay with her and listen to what she has to say ba.if she wants to make a police report then accompany her ya..if she dun want then dun keep imposing on her that she must ba.if she doesnt want to talk abt it le then just accompany chill out or smt to get over it lo.if she knows that there's a frd who's willing to tide thru this rough time with her,she will b very comforted le.i wished i had a frd like u.anyway,just NEVER do this:
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well i see through her expression during a reunion in secondary school friend's house den her expression was totally different then decided to ask her and thanks for ur recommandation cuz she just say : nvm hope it wont happen again and i'll treat it just like a dream .... -
Well... You don't have to 'force' yourself back to the old bubbly you again overnight...? Just slowly get to know more friends and people and expand your social circle...?Originally posted by sqully:u mean in singapore?? well,there was a time when i knew lots of people cos i was a bubbly extrovert but these people come and go. now that my life ceased to be exciting, i guess people hav disappeared from the scene too. and bonds with my close frds had diluted as they became too busy to hav time for me. they rarely contact me nowadays,much less meetup with me. n i hav few frds in uni cos i didnt join any cca as i promised my parents that i would concentrate on my studies this time round.
all in all, i hav become rather withdrawn n isolated nowadays. i dun really hav anyone i would turn to in times of need. i desperately want to break out of this newly fotified shell i m confined to but i dun know why i simply cant hav enough energy to..i m trying darn hard to ignite the spark in me again but somehow the winds seem too strong.
sorry if wat i said dont make sense or doesnt ans the question..i was blabbering alr..
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my friend's case is worst than ur case , Sqully ,
her case is a rape but the case is very similar to ani rapist case but say first is that i just wanna know how to help her so just tell u all the story
she was on her way home after her sports day class and she was in PE attire 1 dem tied T-shirt and 1 ultra short PE shorts then she walking home to her HDB flat suddenly 2 indian guy just walk towards her lah then pretend to ask where the shopping centre was lah then before she could reply , someone just attack her from behind and she was just semi conscious
then she cant see a clear view of anione (very blur) but she know that there was something wrong after that unconcious then when she wake up that time her clothes were beside her and shes lying at 1 corner of HDB flat where no one is there lah according to her is something like dat then she kept crying but i still dunno wat i can say wat i cannot say ...
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wah..a rape case is much more severe,bud..i dun know hurt she is but definitely it wouldnt b something she'll ever forget.it wouldnt b good for u to probe details n determine if she's really raped but she may seriously need to seek help,plz do pay some attention to her.look at what annabel chong became after she got gang raped while studying overseas?Originally posted by Mrunknown:my friend's case is worst than ur case , Sqully ,
her case is a rape but the case is very similar to ani rapist case but say first is that i just wanna know how to help her so just tell u all the story
she was on her way home after her sports day class and she was in PE attire 1 dem tied T-shirt and 1 ultra short PE shorts then she walking home to her HDB flat suddenly 2 indian guy just walk towards her lah then pretend to ask where the shopping centre was lah then before she could reply , someone just attack her from behind and she was just semi conscious
then she cant see a clear view of anione (very blur) but she know that there was something wrong after that unconcious then when she wake up that time her clothes were beside her and shes lying at 1 corner of HDB flat where no one is there lah according to her is something like dat then she kept crying but i still dunno wat i can say wat i cannot say ... -
but still since she said this case i paid more attention to her lah... just that sometimes call her up meet her have lunch then just pray hard she will forget about the cb rape stuff.... pray hardOriginally posted by sqully:wah..a rape case is much more severe,bud..i dun know hurt she is but definitely it wouldnt b something she'll ever forget.it wouldnt b good for u to probe details n determine if she's really raped but she may seriously need to seek help,plz do pay some attention to her.look at what annabel chong became after she got gang raped while studying overseas?
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hmmm..at least she has been opening up quite a bit to u so that's good. dun delibrately test if she forget the stuff though,it will only serve to remind her more. besides u gotta understand that this kinda stuff can never be totally forgotten.mayb hurt and grievances can be reduced slowly over time but it's not probable that it can b really eradicated. and for me, it has given me lower self-esteem than i had cos if ppl know abt all my stuff and my unresolved grievances within myself,i will b seen as a girl with "issues" and a girl with "issues" is one people tend to shun away from. who wants to cope with the extra shit i hav? and that's the reason why i concealed myself. mate,it's really nice to u to b around n stuff but ultimately she has to make the decision how she wants to deal with it. the best u can do is to provide her with encouragements and positive stroking when she's taking steps out of the shadows.Originally posted by Mrunknown:but still since she said this case i paid more attention to her lah... just that sometimes call her up meet her have lunch then just pray hard she will forget about the cb rape stuff.... pray hard
well mate,if u still wanna talk abt it then just drop me a pm ya? -
honestly,a girl with issues can b quite hard to handle. i havent got faith that anyone in real life would volunteer to bond with me if from the start the person knew i hav all this shit inside me. who would want to buy a puppy who's sick or scarred? ppl in this world r intolerant of imperfections.
a frd of mine lamented that he might not hav gotten involved with his gf with he had knew she's a girl with issues in the first place. n i reckon secretly part of the reason why he's still holding onto her is cos she's such a babe n he knows she's a hot commodity if he lets go she will b gone. guys are superficial. well mayb not all but most. tho so far i havent met one who's not. -
as the old says , GAL'S THINGS IS SO COMPLICATED and never get urself into it or else its like you are lost in an endless pattern
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i will sugguest taking up a self-defense art like weapon fighting , muaythai or brazillian jiu-jutsu....
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Crime happens anytime,anywhere. We can't stop them,but we can prevent them. Fighting is not always the best resort or as effective as a loud scream. If its a night out and you're in skimpy attires, get a cab with a few friends and share the ride home. Don't zoom off immediately once someone alights, wait till she's safely in her home, or her bf's downstairs to pick her up.Originally posted by wats_up:i will sugguest taking up a self-defense art like weapon fighting , muaythai or brazillian jiu-jutsu....
But yeah, having some martial base is no harm. For that I'll recommend Wing Chun actually, since it was a style invented by a woman in the 1st place. -
If I have a gf like that, it'll make me want to protect her all the more. It is also good to reveal "things" we know our partners will mind when disclosed at a later stage of the relationship.Originally posted by sqully:honestly,a girl with issues can b quite hard to handle. i havent got faith that anyone in real life would volunteer to bond with me if from the start the person knew i hav all this shit inside me. who would want to buy a puppy who's sick or scarred? ppl in this world r intolerant of imperfections.
For example, during the first week of my relationship with my current gf, I told her how I used to 2-time some gals I knew of. I told her its not a stage of my life I'm particularly proud of, but its something I want her to know then, rather than later. She was rather insecure at the earlier stage of the relationship, and many a times, our boat was sinking. But eventually, it worked out perfect.
sqully, there're guys out there whose personality repels those you've stated. However if there are some that doesn't and fret out, don't be despair, gold needs to be refined of its impurities to be at its finest. So be it when choosing one that's comfortable and accepting towards you. Its not possible to forget, but it is possible to heave what has come to past behind us and move on.
*pat*pat* ; j -
It depends on what you want out of a 'friendship'.Originally posted by sqully:honestly,a girl with issues can b quite hard to handle. i havent got faith that anyone in real life would volunteer to bond with me if from the start the person knew i hav all this shit inside me. who would want to buy a puppy who's sick or scarred? ppl in this world r intolerant of imperfections.
a frd of mine lamented that he might not hav gotten involved with his gf with he had knew she's a girl with issues in the first place. n i reckon secretly part of the reason why he's still holding onto her is cos she's such a babe n he knows she's a hot commodity if he lets go she will b gone. guys are superficial. well mayb not all but most. tho so far i havent met one who's not.
I know someone who has 'issues' in her life and little friends, and the moment you 'bond' with her, she clutches to you like a sinking boat and have very high expectations from you as a friend. Every single time you are unable to go out with her or talk to her becomes a personal affront. Everytime you wish to talk to her about your own problems, it somehow ends up being about her issues.
She wonders why no one wants to be close to her, but sometimes it is very very tiring and difficult because it is very 'energy consuming' to be her friend. and it is not easy for her because she is very absorbed in her own 'issues' and is unable to see that other people have other issues, and sometimes friendship doesnt HAVE to be about 'issues', and just by enjoying someone's company and doing things together is enough.
So... I think to find friends, it is impt for you to BE a friend FIRST by putting your own issues aside. Take your time to build a friendship because it doesnt happen overnight. FIND something to do, something that you enjoy, learn something new - and I find the friends you make this way its easier to keep because you have something in common. -
Friends got 2 type see which type you want to have
type no1
the person who runs away everytime in trouble but will share the fortune with you and you think that the person is so good but acturally his a free rider and will take you as scape goat if ani trouble falls or occurred , this type of person is rather hard to identify cuz they usually post a fake look as in when trouble , he/she will act as if they were trying to help but in real they ain't helping at all
type no2
the person who willing to spend time and heart with you and most of the time have different ideas from you and will make you get annoyed very easily but this type of friends willing to give their ideas and their point of view to you instead of others which i can say its very good ^^ but through a period of time you are able to see their true character , usually type 2 will mix with type 1 cuz type 1 is just a posting of an act but type 2 is normal reaction
take it as reference point bah correct me if im wrong -
Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
As i said,in reality i tend to conceal my problems. so i m not the one u mentioned in the highlighted part. in fact,i m more of the opposite. a distress rescue beacon ppl run to when they r in trouble. but the prob is most likely only when they r in trouble.
It depends on what you want out of a 'friendship'.
I know someone who has 'issues' in her life and little friends, and the moment you 'bond' with her, [b]she clutches to you like a sinking boat and have very high expectations from you as a friend. Every single time you are unable to go out with her or talk to her becomes a personal affront. Everytime you wish to talk to her about your own problems, it somehow ends up being about her issues.
She wonders why no one wants to be close to her, but sometimes it is very very tiring and difficult because it is very 'energy consuming' to be her friend. and it is not easy for her because she is very absorbed in her own 'issues' and is unable to see that other people have other issues, and sometimes friendship doesnt HAVE to be about 'issues', and just by enjoying someone's company and doing things together is enough.
So... I think to find friends, it is impt for you to BE a friend FIRST by putting your own issues aside. Take your time to build a friendship because it doesnt happen overnight. FIND something to do, something that you enjoy, learn something new - and I find the friends you make this way its easier to keep because you have something in common.
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hmmm..type 1 really frd meh?but in reality,that's what almost everyone is doing isn't it?Originally posted by Mrunknown:Friends got 2 type see which type you want to have
type no1
the person who runs away everytime in trouble but will share the fortune with you and you think that the person is so good but acturally his a free rider and will take you as scape goat if ani trouble falls or occurred , this type of person is rather hard to identify cuz they usually post a fake look as in when trouble , he/she will act as if they were trying to help but in real they ain't helping at all
type no2
the person who willing to spend time and heart with you and most of the time have different ideas from you and will make you get annoyed very easily but this type of friends willing to give their ideas and their point of view to you instead of others which i can say its very good ^^ but through a period of time you are able to see their true character , usually type 2 will mix with type 1 cuz type 1 is just a posting of an act but type 2 is normal reaction
take it as reference point bah correct me if im wrong 
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he wanted to grind with u lah....Originally posted by smudgey:I had an experience in chinablack... on the dance floor.... i know i know, it's packed there so it's difficult for any guy to "keep his distance" however as I was dancing there with a gal friend, she and I noticed that there was this one guy that kept dancing behind me, facing me....
at first it was all cool... I mean, it's a small place if u dance directly behind me, facing me, so be it... but I draw the line with physical contact on purpose!
as I danced, i suddenly felt a hand on my HIP!!! i was so shocked! first instinct, I slapped his hand away, turn around, shouted "hey!" and stare at him with a look that could kill.
that was enough to scare him off... ever since that, whenever he saw us, he'll turn and find a place to blend in...
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not realli cuz u said almost everyone but can u spot who is real who is fake?? its through experience nia no other thingsOriginally posted by sqully:hmmm..type 1 really frd meh?but in reality,that's what almost everyone is doing isn't it? -
I think i saw this thread before.. DID u copy it?Originally posted by sqully:I came across an eerily familiar face on the way home yesterday. It is him. Him who did it a few weeks ago. I can still remember how I charged home, showered rigorously, crawled under my blanket, laid on my bed, buried my head into my pillow and cried till I was so exhausted I fell asleep that night. Each time I experience it again, it just gets worse. The burdens of the previous encounters accumulate to bear an increasingly heavier weight on me. Flashbacks of the traumatic experiences hit me again. Sometimes I could feel my head exploding with these images. There are times the hauntings get so bad that I cry my eyes dry at night n wake up with slighty sore eyes, spending the next day in a daze. Why is Singapore so molesters infested? I hate these freaks. They derive their brief pleasures at the expense of inflicting a long suffering wound on me. Each one came along to stab it deeper as if to prevent it from healing.
It hurts so bad cos as much as I m angry with them, I am also angry with myself. Why couldn’t I stand up for myself? Most of the times, I was so frightened I just froze and blanked out. Cornered to my seat, I didn’t even attempt to flee, much less to confront them. Each time I wanted to confront them, I couldn’t surmount enough courage to. I feared that they would yell “bhb!who wants to molest u?!” or something, yielding yet more humiliation for me. I told very few people about these encounters, and even if I did I wouldn’t reveal everything. I didn’t tell my parents anything at all cos I don’t want them to worry about me, it breaks my heart to give them heartaches. I didn’t really tell my friends cos I think they might not believe me and I don’t know what they would think if I did. And I recall that there was this time I was chilling out with a friend, we were reading some magazine and came across this article about molestation. There was this line “don’t worry people would love to save the damsel in distress, especially since you are pretty” or something and I lamented what if the damsel is not. So I casually mentioned one of my encounters to my friend and said that “I don’t understand why he picked me. It’s not like I m pretty. And I was always in baggy shirts and long jeans.” “Ya lor.” She replied.
Perhaps she didn’t mean anything and it was just a simple reply but it sealed my fate to that of a silent victim and it confirmed my fears that those perverts had picked me cos no one would believe me if I had accused them of doing it. It was all still bearable until I encountered this ‘Romeo turned pervert” guy a few months ago, and my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. I have been stuck in a state of perpetual misery since. The strong, sunshine girl who everyone used to know is finally tearing up from the inside. Their aunt agony is drowning in her own agony now. Bitterness filled the smiles and laughter I squeezed out of me. I desperately want to get back on my feet. That’s why I m releasing some of the bitterness I feel inside here.
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hmm this is her experience not copy deOriginally posted by cyrusv:I think i saw this thread before.. DID u copy it? can u copy a rapist case?? -
hmmm...mayb u prophesied the thread in ur dreams?Originally posted by cyrusv:I think i saw this thread before.. DID u copy it? -
MOD [Insensitive post edited.]
MOD May I remind you that personal flaming and assault is never encouraged in AA, especially when you're doing it out of fun. Pls be sensitive to the topic starter's backgrounds... The last thing she'll need is something like this from you. -
Sqully can share how you cope with ur stress experience wif me?? im so inexperience about it
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Eh?how to cope with stress?as in generally or wat?u r inexperienced in being stressed??or stressed from bad memories?if it's inexperienced with the latter isnt it good?why would u want to b experienced in it??Originally posted by Mrunknown:Sqully can share how you cope with ur stress experience wif me?? im so inexperience about it -
being stress by friends around me dem sian dem tiredOriginally posted by sqully:Eh?how to cope with stress?as in generally or wat?u r inexperienced in being stressed??or stressed from bad memories?if it's inexperienced with the latter isnt it good?why would u want to b experienced in it??