not there for me anymore..
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i broke up with a cheating ex about 3 mths ago.. but after breaking up, he said he really miss me alot.. he regretted all that he had done to me.. he asked for a patch.. hesistating for a week later, i agreed... (i know its stupid.. but i really do miss him alot too)
he told me he will change.. and thou pple say Flirts Will Never Change.. this once-a-flirt changed. he treated me like just.. so wonderfully great.. but now the problem lies with me, i don trust him anymore.. everytime he reply or calls me slow, i keep doubting his answers, i keep suspecting him.. i dont know whats he doin behind me all the time.. to the extent that every msg i just keep reprimanding him, sometimes i think im soooo going nuts.
i asked for a breakup almost everyday.. i just find out that i really cannot trust him anymore.. theres no faith.. but he's reluctant to break, he said he really changed, and its unfair to him..
just last night.. we had a really big fight.. again, i asked for a break up, he doesnt want it.. but i keep insisting it.. saying things like "go away.. just leave me alone, u'll find some other girls very soon.. lets jus break k" i think eventually he gave up also.......
actually when we patched, i was just bored.. i just wan a bf there for me.. i thought my heart already died for him, but since he said he's gonna change, fine, we can try... but i treated him like shyt and its true that when girls don feel anymore for the guy they're in the r/s with, they'll just threaten to break when they're being "triggered" or when they "lose" in an arguement..
i cried and cried last night.. thinking what the hell did i just do.. i pushed a bf whos always been there, treating me like his precious finally, and most importantly.. loving me.... maybe i made the wrong choice.. i smsed him, saying its a hard night to slp today.. im sorry if i hurt u.. night..
i woke up with 6 msgs in my phone.... NONE was from him.... i was surprised how 'cruel' he is..... he didnt even care..... am i asking too much, or is he just doing what is needed to forget me.. today.. i woke up with swollen eyes... and my heart... feels so empty......
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Please la... you hurt him so bad and you still expect him to treat it like nothing and reply?
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you're becoming puo fu.
pls don't be puo fu. -
Originally posted by kopiosatu:you're becoming puo fu.
pls don't be puo fu.
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Zhi Cuo Neng Gai Shan Mo Da Yan.. he turned over a new leaf le how can u doubt him to be a leopard tt nvr changes its spots?.. (pardon the da dao li
)
u wan giv him another chance also so unwilling so unfair de.. -
sad stuff, but this "he hurt u, u hurt him" is difficult to handle... u give him a big punch in the face when he "could" be really sincere abt his feelings... so that might done a big damage to him so u cant really expect a quick reply... let him regroup and if he comes back to u, have a good restart to the relationship and hopefully things will eb truthful for both of u... good luck...Originally posted by blueberryjam:i broke up with a cheating ex about 3 mths ago.. but after breaking up, he said he really miss me alot.. he regretted all that he had done to me.. he asked for a patch.. hesistating for a week later, i agreed... (i know its stupid.. but i really do miss him alot too)
he told me he will change.. and thou pple say Flirts Will Never Change.. this once-a-flirt changed. he treated me like just.. so wonderfully great.. but now the problem lies with me, i don trust him anymore.. everytime he reply or calls me slow, i keep doubting his answers, i keep suspecting him.. i dont know whats he doin behind me all the time.. to the extent that every msg i just keep reprimanding him, sometimes i think im soooo going nuts.
i asked for a breakup almost everyday.. i just find out that i really cannot trust him anymore.. theres no faith.. but he's reluctant to break, he said he really changed, and its unfair to him..
just last night.. we had a really big fight.. again, i asked for a break up, he doesnt want it.. but i keep insisting it.. saying things like "go away.. just leave me alone, u'll find some other girls very soon.. lets jus break k" i think eventually he gave up also.......
actually when we patched, i was just bored.. i just wan a bf there for me.. i thought my heart already died for him, but since he said he's gonna change, fine, we can try... but i treated him like shyt and its true that when girls don feel anymore for the guy they're in the r/s with, they'll just threaten to break when they're being "triggered" or when they "lose" in an arguement..
i cried and cried last night.. thinking what the hell did i just do.. i pushed a bf whos always been there, treating me like his precious finally, and most importantly.. loving me.... maybe i made the wrong choice.. i smsed him, saying its a hard night to slp today.. im sorry if i hurt u.. night..
i woke up with 6 msgs in my phone.... NONE was from him.... i was surprised how 'cruel' he is..... he didnt even care..... am i asking too much, or is he just doing what is needed to forget me.. today.. i woke up with swollen eyes... and my heart... feels so empty...... -
but i find it really hard to trust him.. before we patched, i did tell him that its hard for us to be the same anymore.. it'll be hard for me to gain back that trust that i once had for him anymore.. he said its okay, he just wants me back, he can withstand any nonsense i give him... but i still cant find that trust.....
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frankly i dont believe flirts can turn over a new leaf.
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From wat she said it "seems" tt he had turn over a new leaf le.. anw both of u were wrong la.. i doubt u can expect much from his leOriginally posted by dragg:frankly i dont believe flirts can turn over a new leaf. -
When you posted this thread here what were you expecting? Comforting words? Someone to say you did no wrong? Fact is, you're no better than the cheating ex. He changed, and i'll give him the benefit of the doubt even thoug i don't know him remotely. You treated a man such a way where he no longer has the dignity to even look at your face. I'm sorry my dear, but no words can console you. Face it, you blew it.Originally posted by blueberryjam:i broke up with a cheating ex about 3 mths ago.. but after breaking up, he said he really miss me alot.. he regretted all that he had done to me.. he asked for a patch.. hesistating for a week later, i agreed... (i know its stupid.. but i really do miss him alot too)
he told me he will change.. and thou pple say Flirts Will Never Change.. this once-a-flirt changed. he treated me like just.. so wonderfully great.. but now the problem lies with me, i don trust him anymore.. everytime he reply or calls me slow, i keep doubting his answers, i keep suspecting him.. i dont know whats he doin behind me all the time.. to the extent that every msg i just keep reprimanding him, sometimes i think im soooo going nuts.
i asked for a breakup almost everyday.. i just find out that i really cannot trust him anymore.. theres no faith.. but he's reluctant to break, he said he really changed, and its unfair to him..
just last night.. we had a really big fight.. again, i asked for a break up, he doesnt want it.. but i keep insisting it.. saying things like "go away.. just leave me alone, u'll find some other girls very soon.. lets jus break k" i think eventually he gave up also.......
actually when we patched, i was just bored.. i just wan a bf there for me.. i thought my heart already died for him, but since he said he's gonna change, fine, we can try... but i treated him like shyt and its true that when girls don feel anymore for the guy they're in the r/s with, they'll just threaten to break when they're being "triggered" or when they "lose" in an arguement..
i cried and cried last night.. thinking what the hell did i just do.. i pushed a bf whos always been there, treating me like his precious finally, and most importantly.. loving me.... maybe i made the wrong choice.. i smsed him, saying its a hard night to slp today.. im sorry if i hurt u.. night..
i woke up with 6 msgs in my phone.... NONE was from him.... i was surprised how 'cruel' he is..... he didnt even care..... am i asking too much, or is he just doing what is needed to forget me.. today.. i woke up with swollen eyes... and my heart... feels so empty...... -
We're all humans, & humans make mistakes. The important thing is the willingness & capacity to change. I'm sure we all ask for forgiveness from time to time for some errors we have committed. Even flirts do.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by dragg:frankly i dont believe flirts can turn over a new leaf. -
but right now ask urself if u can accept him totally... if u cant, its better that u leave now...Originally posted by blueberryjam:but i find it really hard to trust him.. before we patched, i did tell him that its hard for us to be the same anymore.. it'll be hard for me to gain back that trust that i once had for him anymore.. he said its okay, he just wants me back, he can withstand any nonsense i give him... but i still cant find that trust..... -
x 2.
Blueberry Jam. Whilst I can understand that it is difficult to trust him, expecting him to grovel at your feet & beg you everytime you ask for a breakup is kinda unreasonable. No matter how a person has committed a mistake, there's No justification for your subjecting him to such humiliation as grovelling.
If you wanted to work out those issues of trust with him, then sit down, & tell him that under No circumstances will you tolerate his cheating on you ever again, & that, you're still hurting, & you have a problem with trust. Tell him you NEED reassurance, & a basis to trust him again. Then let HIM do the work.
BUT, you only patched things up with him because you were BORED. Then you subjected him to emotional torture by repeatedly asking to break up, & having him grovelling at your feet to reconsider. Does this give your ego gratification?
Granted, he was wrong to have flirted. But you're No angel for the humiliation you've subjected him to. And you still wanna point your fingers at him for Not replying to your SMS? What? Do you expect him to wag his tail at your "Sorry for hurting you" SMS & jump for joy?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by nullifi3d:When you posted this thread here what were you expecting? Comforting words? Someone to say you did no wrong? Fact is, you're no better than the cheating ex. He changed, and i'll give him the benefit of the doubt even thoug i don't know him remotely. You treated a man such a way where he no longer has the dignity to even look at your face. I'm sorry my dear, but no words can console you. Face it, you blew it. -
You want to play with his feelings then why cry?Originally posted by blueberryjam:i broke up with a cheating ex about 3 mths ago.. but after breaking up, he said he really miss me alot.. he regretted all that he had done to me.. he asked for a patch.. hesistating for a week later, i agreed... (i know its stupid.. but i really do miss him alot too)
he told me he will change.. and thou pple say Flirts Will Never Change.. this once-a-flirt changed. he treated me like just.. so wonderfully great.. but now the problem lies with me, i don trust him anymore.. everytime he reply or calls me slow, i keep doubting his answers, i keep suspecting him.. i dont know whats he doin behind me all the time.. to the extent that every msg i just keep reprimanding him, sometimes i think im soooo going nuts.
i asked for a breakup almost everyday.. i just find out that i really cannot trust him anymore.. theres no faith.. but he's reluctant to break, he said he really changed, and its unfair to him..
just last night.. we had a really big fight.. again, i asked for a break up, he doesnt want it.. but i keep insisting it.. saying things like "go away.. just leave me alone, u'll find some other girls very soon.. lets jus break k" i think eventually he gave up also.......
actually when we patched, i was just bored.. i just wan a bf there for me.. i thought my heart already died for him, but since he said he's gonna change, fine, we can try... but i treated him like shyt and its true that when girls don feel anymore for the guy they're in the r/s with, they'll just threaten to break when they're being "triggered" or when they "lose" in an arguement..
i cried and cried last night.. thinking what the hell did i just do.. i pushed a bf whos always been there, treating me like his precious finally, and most importantly.. loving me.... maybe i made the wrong choice.. i smsed him, saying its a hard night to slp today.. im sorry if i hurt u.. night..
i woke up with 6 msgs in my phone.... NONE was from him.... i was surprised how 'cruel' he is..... he didnt even care..... am i asking too much, or is he just doing what is needed to forget me.. today.. i woke up with swollen eyes... and my heart... feels so empty......
Stop this cry baby story lar.
you just want to hurt him and make him feel what is like to be dumped.
So how do you feel? Is it nice?
Haiz this world is already crazy enough lar.
You seriously do not know the meaning of the word love. -
It's not your fault that you can't trust him again. The last breakup was a good decision. In case you didn't know , break up means don't contact each other, no sms's or anything. Get yourself busy with other things.
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choco b, i dun quite agree with ur saying of breaking up. IMHO, break up can be one extreme like u have said but won't it be better if they just remain as frens even though they can no longer be as intimate as b4 like in a BGR?Originally posted by choco B:It's not your fault that you can't trust him again. The last breakup was a good decision. In case you didn't know , break up means don't contact each other, no sms's or anything. Get yourself busy with other things.
bbjam, i think u need to know what u want out of him. to be with some1 after he made a terrible mistake and not to trust him, no matter how small that trust is, is not going to work out.
the process of re-learning or gaining back the trust should be difficult with what u have said. but it is not entirely impossible.
anyway, since u have last said gdbye to him in such a crude manner, what do u expect of him anymore? -
1)since u hav no faith for this relationship u shld not agree 2 patchOriginally posted by blueberryjam:but i find it really hard to trust him.. before we patched, i did tell him that its hard for us to be the same anymore.. it'll be hard for me to gain back that trust that i once had for him anymore.. he said its okay, he just wants me back, he can withstand any nonsense i give him... but i still cant find that trust.....
"short pain is better than long pain"
2) how u expect a relationship 2 last when u always threath 2 break wif him
3)dun any how go 2 relationship wif ppl juz because u r lonely -
i agree that all human make mistakes but some mistakes are bigger than others. unless you are talking about God or Buddha (which is beyond me) not all mistakes can be forgiven. of course it is up to the individual.Originally posted by FeowFeow:We're all humans, & humans make mistakes. The important thing is the willingness & capacity to change. I'm sure we all ask for forgiveness from time to time for some errors we have committed. Even flirts do.
FeowFeow
there is a risk one has to take for giving a flirt a chance, and thats another betrayal. -
bbjam is having a heartache because her bf literally took her word to breakup and give up when in fact the more bbjam insists on breaking up, the more he shouldn't give up on her and their r/s.
If he did the latter, goes to show he's serious about saving the r/s and that's a big sign of him turning 180 deg from flirting.
When he gives up and completely bochap overnight, goes to show how insignificant she and the r/s are to him
and that imo is hurting bbjam terribly.
Poor bbjam. -
If they could end the relationship amicably, she would not be posting here.
Not everyone can remain friends with ex's. It complicates things; big hazard when she's in a confused state herself. Distance between them would make it easier for both of them to get over the breakup and move on. Friendship can always be re-established after they've recovered.
Some relationships are salvagable but based on her posts, I don't think this one is .Originally posted by tiggersgd:choco b, i dun quite agree with ur saying of breaking up. IMHO, break up can be one extreme like u have said but won't it be better if they just remain as frens even though they can no longer be as intimate as b4 like in a BGR?
bbjam, i think u need to know what u want out of him. to be with some1 after he made a terrible mistake and not to trust him, no matter how small that trust is, is not going to work out.
the process of re-learning or gaining back the trust should be difficult with what u have said. but it is not entirely impossible.
anyway, since u have last said gdbye to him in such a crude manner, what do u expect of him anymore? -
Dear BlueBerryJam,
Firstly I want to say....YUMMM...I love blueberry jam. ermmm right. back to topic. u mention...leopards never change its spots. well you are right. i was once exactly in your shoes. well.. the opposite of cos. im a guy. and the gal was a two timing whore as well. the first time she did it, i forgave her. she cried. i cried. end up both cried. promise not to do it again. so we patch things up. but after all that, like u i became to grow suspicious of what she has been doing behind my back. countless times ive said i wanna break up during quarrels. but she never wanted it. all her denial a year later seems futile. i found out she has another lover. i grew furious demanding an answer. she cried. i cried. end up both cried. Yet after all that i forgave her.
So after that, i remain who am i. remain suspicious over this whore leopard whom i loved so much. what can i do right. its the same process. we had fun times. we had bad times. we quarrelled. i ask for break up countless times again. she denied. and AGAIN one year later she found another secret which i found out unintentionally. For that i decided to be strong and move on. tell her goodbye. change hp number. and lead new life. imagine 3 times she betrayed me. all these in my relatinship with her for 3 years. tats like one year once. So anyway my jam, what i wanna say is...forget abt him. let my dealings with a person like tat before advise u a lil bit more of wat u shld do aite.
of cos.... whatever u do...follow ur head ok. not ur heart. u will be hurt more.
cheers....
little mhcampboy
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try it on urself first with the above scenario? every man (generic speaking) has their limits and no one is perfect.Originally posted by macjoe:bbjam is having a heartache because her bf literally took her word to breakup and give up when in fact the more bbjam insists on breaking up, the more he shouldn't give up on her and their r/s.
If he did the latter, goes to show he's serious about saving the r/s and that's a big sign of him turning 180 deg from flirting.
When he gives up, goes to show how insignificant she and the r/s are to him
and that imo is hurting bbjam terribly.
Poor bbjam.
if he gives up, it only goes to show he respects bbjam's decision and to give her the space that she wanted. no point pestering or keep holding on to some1 that constantly giving u the ultimatum.
in the first place he has already done his part in turning over a new leaf. if she treasures him, she should also have helped him in that process of becoming a better person. it takes 2 hands to clap.
no trust and constant doubting, saying the break up thingy is instant killer to a r/s. -
actually think abt this gd people...who has not flirted b4?
flirting is harmless until the point of no return. ie accepting the bait/fruit of the flirtation.
i'm not inducing any1 in a r/s to go into flirting. just want to voice out this point. -
bbjam, beware of behaving like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. -
complicates things? big hazard?Originally posted by choco B:If they could end the relationship amicably, she would not be posting here.
Not everyone can remain friends with ex's. It complicates things; big hazard when she's in a confused state herself. Distance between them would make it easier for both of them to get over the breakup and move on. Friendship can always be re-established after they've recovered.
Some relationships are salvagable but based on her posts, I don't think this one is .
dun say as if its the end of the world mah...
what i know is that friendship whether can be salvaged after sometime requires more effort (not saying they dun have) but often than not, it won't happen.
they should have talked things through...and yes, if there's enough communication, the relationship could end amicably or otherwise.