GF = Wife?
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Is a girlfriend the same as a wife-to-be? What if the person you are with is gf material, but not someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? Is this girl still worth the time and effort?
I admit that i have quite a high expectation for my wife, and that my current gf does not meet all of them. There are certain traits that i do not really accept in her, such as her stubborn-ness (such a word?), lack of respect (in some ways), and her past, which still irks me (have accepted, but will never forget it).
Why i say that she is gf material is that we are quite close already, being together for more than a year, and i admit that she is nice to me and we get along quite well. The first few months were fantastic, the so-called honeymoon period and it was like in heaven.
Lately, since last june.. i start to find that we were not that compatible afterall. she will never give-in in an arguement and i have to say sorry most of the time. and we became less romantic. Now, she feels more like a close friend rather than someone I can spend my life with. I can tell that she's not likely to stand by me through all difficulties and stuff i may face in the future. u know.. the through thick and thin kind..
To her, for now, everything is alright. but to me, something is lacking in this relationship. I don't feel what i used to feel anymore. i lie about my feelings sometimes to make her happy and think that nothing is wrong.. to the extent that i cannot say my deepest feelings.. maybe they have bottled up to the top, which gives this sucky confused feeling..
I admit that my mind has strayed. I've been browsing through friendster and it reminded me that there are plenty of better fishes out there. problem is, my social circle is very limited and i only know 3 girls other than her.
I really don't know, so confused. arghh, can't even phrase out my thoughts properly.. it's all jumbled up. if only i could pull this messy bunch of chains into one straight line, it would be so much easier to solve... -
time will tell everything
GF doesnt means has to b wife mahz...
wife is someone else who u can live w for e rest of ur life know..
now tat its only 1yr into e r.s n u are saying this, things arent looking good.
dont let small things accumulate..it will only make things worse in e long run...better solve all ur problems now...
its really up to ur decision.
for the better of the two (dun waste each other's time, there cld b someone else better)? or still wanna keep her by ur side cos u wan a gf? -
are you a player? if not, where do you think you're going with her? where do you see your relationship ending up?
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Your still young, no need to think about marriage now. There is still alot of time to find a wife to spent your dying years with. For now, just enjoy and appreciate her company.
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Are you perfect? 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by thingy:Is a girlfriend the same as a wife-to-be? What if the person you are with is gf material, but not someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? Is this girl still worth the time and effort?
I admit that i have quite a high expectation for my wife, and that my current gf does not meet all of them. There are certain traits that i do not really accept in her, such as her stubborn-ness (such a word?), lack of respect (in some ways), and her past, which still irks me (have accepted, but will never forget it).
Why i say that she is gf material is that we are quite close already, being together for more than a year, and i admit that she is nice to me and we get along quite well. The first few months were fantastic, the so-called honeymoon period and it was like in heaven.
Lately, since last june.. i start to find that we were not that compatible afterall. she will never give-in in an arguement and i have to say sorry most of the time. and we became less romantic. Now, she feels more like a close friend rather than someone I can spend my life with. I can tell that she's not likely to stand by me through all difficulties and stuff i may face in the future. u know.. the through thick and thin kind..
To her, for now, everything is alright. but to me, something is lacking in this relationship. I don't feel what i used to feel anymore. i lie about my feelings sometimes to make her happy and think that nothing is wrong.. to the extent that i cannot say my deepest feelings.. maybe they have bottled up to the top, which gives this sucky confused feeling..
I admit that my mind has strayed. I've been browsing through friendster and it reminded me that there are plenty of better fishes out there. problem is, my social circle is very limited and i only know 3 girls other than her.
I really don't know, so confused. arghh, can't even phrase out my thoughts properly.. it's all jumbled up. if only i could pull this messy bunch of chains into one straight line, it would be so much easier to solve... -
thing is, it's really different last time compared to now.. can say that there is lesser respect between us?Originally posted by alfagal:time will tell everything
GF doesnt means has to b wife mahz...
wife is someone else who u can live w for e rest of ur life know..
now tat its only 1yr into e r.s n u are saying this, things arent looking good.
dont let small things accumulate..it will only make things worse in e long run...better solve all ur problems now...
its really up to ur decision.
for the better of the two (dun waste each other's time, there cld b someone else better)? or still wanna keep her by ur side cos u wan a gf?
yah, for now.. must admit that i jus want someone i can feel comfortable with and accompany me.. sighs -
nope, not a player. this is the first gf i have..Originally posted by Michaeled:are you a player? if not, where do you think you're going with her? where do you see your relationship ending up?
where am i going? i don't know...
where will the r/s end up?.. definately not marriage. at this rate, maybe 2+yrs max? i don't know... -
Maybe one day you'll realise that afterall, she's the one for you...(After she left you).
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lolx... of course not.Originally posted by FeowFeow: Are you perfect?
FeowFeow
not universally perfect, no one is.
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maybe... it's hard to find someone to be comfortable withOriginally posted by dcx:Maybe one day you'll realise that afterall, she's the one for you...(After she left you). -
Ok, just wanted you to think about that before setting your standards
FeowFeowOriginally posted by thingy:lolx... of course not.
not universally perfect, no one is. -
thingy,
When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the dullest and boring form... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. -
diff ppl have diff std ba..Originally posted by FeowFeow:Ok, just wanted you to think about that before setting your standards
FeowFeow
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3 words - Let her know.Originally posted by thingy:nope, not a player. this is the first gf i have..
where am i going? i don't know...
where will the r/s end up?.. definately not marriage. at this rate, maybe 2+yrs max? i don't know...
i know i sound like an idealist, but since you already anticipate your breakup in 2 years at the most, and you feel that your both incompatible to be husband and wife, and since you're not a player, why waste the 2 years building up a relationship that goes nowhere?
don't worry, it's really simple if you see it this way: a relationship, no matter what sort, requires two people to agree, two hands. now, your hands seems very shaky and confused on whether she is the right one for you. and if you keep this up, it is inevitable that the relationship fails. So why wait until it does?
although she still feels it'll work out, in a long run, both of you will suffer even more. from your post you've mentioned you've been lying about how you feel towards her, not being the sincere one. ask yourself, where do you draw the line in such a relationship? do you keep telling her what she want's to hear, the way she likes it heard, pretending until you blow up in hurtful words of confessions? i wonder how she'd feel. if you don't see yourself proposing to her anytime soon, why bother making both of you wait for nothing?
in other words - break off.
it's a win-win situation right? unless you think in these 2 years you'd really benefit from the experience, it's a really great advice.
all the best man. -
Don't get me wrong. It's just that I saw the poster say he has high standards? (Correct me if I'm wrong please). Just my view that if a person has high standards, he should also look at himself to see whether he has the high standards to satisfy another person too : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by contact:diff ppl have diff std ba.. -
U already know that she is not the one you will want to spend the rest of ur life with.
You have admitted that you are going astray, and you dun feel that comfortable with her anymore, to the extent that you have to give in to her in any argument.
What does this tell you? Love is fading. You see her weakness more than her strength. You can't open up to her anymore.
Maybe you will like to ask yourself now, is she a friend or a gf? -
yes, i'm as close to perfection as it gets.Originally posted by FeowFeow: Are you perfect?
FeowFeow -
dbl post
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Perhaps some time like perhaps 2 wk never contact for you to think might help?? You don't want to be caught up in a situation where you turn back to her after your breakup.
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guys r all bastards.im more convienced now.i hate all of you.
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Yeah man! I agree with you! Don't go near them!!! Leave them to the mushy girls!!!
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Pommes frites:guys r all bastards.im more convienced now.i hate all of you. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:Yeah man! I agree with you! Don't go near them!!! Leave them to the mushy girls!!!
FeowFeow
Ah FeowFeow, u also want meh?
U have ur hamster liao wor. -
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Must lure them to our Cafe mahhh!
Now you go & tell everybody, then we can't lure customers into our Pinky BACON cafe 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
Ah FeowFeow, u also want meh?
U have ur hamster liao wor. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Must lure them to our Cafe mahhh! Now you go & tell everybody, then we can't lure customers into our Pinky BACON cafe
FeowFeow -
obviously different thing right? it's morally wrong to screw other women when ur married but screwing other women when ur attached is typical of guys so society judges it OK.
for a gf, get someone u like, for a wife, get someone who loves u more than u love her.