GF = Wife?
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GF might not be wife, but the thing is... why are you bother with her past?
To have a wife doesn't mean she needs to be perfect and fit your criteria.
The most important can you get along well n solve problem.
If you are saying that she is stubborn, are you not too? Since you might not listen to her standing.
I felt that the problem is..... YOU.
You have lost the feeling and you are trying to find excuses and support here to make your next step. Plus I think you are quite MCP, maybe you need a maid or a robot more than a GF or even a wife. -
yes the scar will always be there...no dispute on that...what I am saying is....can U accept that there is a scar?Originally posted by thingy:actually i posted my story bout coping with the past before... but i used a different name last time and now i can't find it.
don't think it will ever be resolved. partly because it is the first big blow to me emotionally all my life, so it's like a permanent scar i guess? can only suppress it with makeup, or hide with cloths.. but the scar will always be there.
How to tell... it's just a gut feeling based on all the small stuff that happens. from her reaction, sometimes irritated, not bothered attitude.. i can tell.
How do you define a supportive gf btw?. to what extent must she go to in order to prove herself supportive? i'm sure it's not just a simple "go lah, i support you" kind of thing right?
err...let me use an analogy....suppose U have 1 really big ugly scar on ur hand....one fine day...U go out with a new friend...ur friend saw ur scar and remarked loudly "Oh U have such a big ugly scar!"....Are U going to be ashamed of it and try to hide it or are U going to take that in ur stride?
I am sure ur feelings counts for something....but are U sure what U are feeling is really the situation?sometimes what U feel is not what the situation is...Ur feelings are affected by what U are thinking and therefore its not really the best yardstick to go by....its only when things happen that people really get to know each other....1 year plus is not that long to know a person...no da4 feng1 da4 lang4(big wind big waves) to rock the relationship...what U are feeling now could be that U are settling into a more stable relationship with her....U cant really expect ur honeymoon period to last forever right?
to what extend....that's a tough question....for my case....to cut a long story short...I got into some unwanted trouble(kind of big trouble) and she stuck with me throughout...so from there I know our relationship is stronger than before...9 years.
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<Originally posted by FeowFeow:Yeah man! I agree with you! Don't go near them!!! Leave them to the mushy girls!!!
FeowFeow> -
LTNS! How have you been LADY..??Originally posted by stormax:GF might not be wife, but the thing is... why are you bother with her past?
To have a wife doesn't mean she needs to be perfect and fit your criteria.
The most important can you get along well n solve problem.
If you are saying that she is stubborn, are you not too? Since you might not listen to her standing.
I felt that the problem is..... YOU.
You have lost the feeling and you are trying to find excuses and support here to make your next step. Plus I think you are quite MCP, maybe you need a maid or a robot more than a GF or even a wife. -
My PERSONAL ADVICE is for you to LEAVE HER unless you're VERY SURE she's what you REALLY WANT...Originally posted by thingy:Is a girlfriend the same as a wife-to-be? What if the person you are with is gf material, but not someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? Is this girl still worth the time and effort?
I admit that i have quite a high expectation for my wife, and that my current gf does not meet all of them. There are certain traits that i do not really accept in her, such as her stubborn-ness (such a word?), lack of respect (in some ways), and her past, which still irks me (have accepted, but will never forget it).
Why i say that she is gf material is that we are quite close already, being together for more than a year, and i admit that she is nice to me and we get along quite well. The first few months were fantastic, the so-called honeymoon period and it was like in heaven.
Lately, since last june.. i start to find that we were not that compatible afterall. she will never give-in in an arguement and i have to say sorry most of the time. and we became less romantic. Now, she feels more like a close friend rather than someone I can spend my life with. I can tell that she's not likely to stand by me through all difficulties and stuff i may face in the future. u know.. the through thick and thin kind..
To her, for now, everything is alright. but to me, something is lacking in this relationship. I don't feel what i used to feel anymore. i lie about my feelings sometimes to make her happy and think that nothing is wrong.. to the extent that i cannot say my deepest feelings.. maybe they have bottled up to the top, which gives this sucky confused feeling..
I admit that my mind has strayed. I've been browsing through friendster and it reminded me that there are plenty of better fishes out there. problem is, my social circle is very limited and i only know 3 girls other than her.
I really don't know, so confused. arghh, can't even phrase out my thoughts properly.. it's all jumbled up. if only i could pull this messy bunch of chains into one straight line, it would be so much easier to solve...
You might be hurting her by leaving her now, but I reckon you would be HURTING her EVEN MORE in the future should anything goes amiss...
You're confused about the relationship, what you want from it, and ultimately what being a relationship really means...
It's weird that you could be talking about marriage and commitments on one hand, yet on the other hand... Your DOING, your BELIEF, your UNDERSTANDING shows you're NOTHING even NEAR for that... WAKE UP PLS.... -
I only read until here. One word - No.Originally posted by thingy:Is a girlfriend the same as a wife-to-be? What if the person you are with is gf material, but not someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? Is this girl still worth the time and effort? -
pple always think dat the man is the one cheating on the woman.dats wad i meant.Originally posted by FeowFeow:What the ????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since when did society view screwing around when you're attached is ok?!
FeowFeow