How?
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wah din know so many people actually suffer this road. Ans for (2) and (3) for beast only. as for qns 1, haiz. It's really a long relationship. It have nice memories in the first 2 yrs. Things got worst only recently.Originally posted by drx:John has experience what many of us has experience before.
He may have put lots of effort on Sher but what he got back from her is just her short temper and negative feelings.
Imagine putting effort on a person but realise that he or she might not be worth the effort. Thats wat John is feeling now.
Actually is John heart which is changing it might be Jes or someone else but the most impt thing is that he tired of doing so much for someone who is not worth it.
For John or who you are.
This is just a few answer to your questions.
1) Do a offical break with Sher. It will help you clear the air that you are serious with your actions and people will respect you for it. Being single will help you go for someone else without any worries and if Sher can get another chance to find someone who loves her.
2) drag and hide until Sher finds out. She scream and shout. Cries and call for a breakup. Both breakup then you are call a bad person cos you are the bad one who ran away.
3) Go with jes and once confirm with her dump Sher. The worst type who cares for only his own feelings and everyone calls him a playboy behind his back.
Actually is up to John lar
this is open end answer which only John knows the answer.
stay and suffer or go ahead and try a new route.
If only God comes knockin on John head then give him the best solution that wont harm either parties.
Really appreciated all ur advise for John man. at least he knows where to start things about the problem. At least ther is some 2 light ahead. Which to choose. Hate this when in a relation man. THats the toughest. -
God wants to give John the choice thats why God did not do anything.Originally posted by mitgalant:wah din know so many people actually suffer this road. Ans for (2) and (3) for beast only. as for qns 1, haiz. It's really a long relationship. It have nice memories in the first 2 yrs. Things got worst only recently.
If only God comes knockin on John head then give him the best solution that wont harm either parties.
Really appreciated all ur advise for John man. at least he knows where to start things about the problem. At least ther is some 2 light ahead. Which to choose. Hate this when in a relation man. THats the toughest.
If God wants to chose he can take away sher and make life easy for John. -
then john would rather god choose. at least he no need to headache. no need to think all these problems. but somehow this is wakin John up. he really needs to think thru. argh. MCP and should i say "FCP" ?
Male and Female CP.
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I am wondering how John has a crush on his ex-gf when they have been together before. It is a common thought for guys to think of their ex-gf when their current relationship is going through some strains. However the thoughts about their ex-gf are only temporary. If John is serious about his current gf, he should speak to her and work out some measures to stablizes the relationship.
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it's kinda like suddenly notice her again.Originally posted by latterrain:I am wondering how John has a crush on his ex-gf when they have been together before. It is a common thought for guys to think of their ex-gf when their current relationship is going through some strains. However the thoughts about their ex-gf are only temporary. If John is serious about his current gf, he should speak to her and work out some measures to stablizes the relationship.
Ok, let's say if john wanna salvage her relationship with Cher, What can he do ? ask in how to speak to her about her problems ?
Take into account that if he says anythin wrong Cher will get angry straight away. Let's take Cher as someone who will get angry easily. How to tell her about the problem? Dun forget they talk to one another b4.
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Hmm...Originally posted by choco B:John should be very clear that he should consider relationship between himself and Cher only, this has nothing to do with Jes. If anything she is just a distraction
If he is not happy with Cher it is best to end it -
i think John does not know what he wants.
He cannot understand the fundamental of true love -
Hmm...interesting.Originally posted by antoh:i think John does not know what he wants.
He cannot understand the fundamental of true love -
John's age, Cher's age and both's horoscopes..Originally posted by mitgalant:it's kinda like suddenly notice her again.
Ok, let's say if john wanna salvage her relationship with Cher, What can he do ? ask in how to speak to her about her problems ?
Take into account that if he says anythin wrong Cher will get angry straight away. Let's take Cher as someone who will get angry easily. How to tell her about the problem? Dun forget they talk to one another b4.
What are currently both's occupations...?
1st thing you've got to understand... As suggested by choco B, relationship between John and Cher should be another matter altogether with his feelings with Jes...
Note MCSquare's words... Are you John or are you just a friend of john? It's quite unlikely that you would be able to properly convey advices we have for John or to speak from his stand of view well enough for us to properly analyse the situation... Are you JOHN? If you're not John, how close you are to John or John's close ones to worry so much...
Notice advices already given by our kind forumites again... In a relationship, it's most likely that there would be a sweet (honeymoon?) period to it... It's never practical to just indulge in them... It's just like telling us that when you were born as a baby, your mum provided you with milk and heck... There're the least worries in life... Sad to tell you, a relationship as a product of time grows just like you do... Analogous to working in order to get yourself fed and the things you want in life... Fruits in a relationship often doesn't come without working for them especially after a considerable period of being together 'closely'....
What's between you and Cher can only be resolved when both parties' truly aware and willing to resolve it... And though it may seems very much a personality problem with Cher... You could very well be using the relationship youre both still 'in' at this point FOR it... Not AGAINST it... In other words... As a partner to Cher... HELP CHER OVERCOMES her shortcomings... Make her understand that it would not only be beneficial for the relationship but also for herself... Instead of telling she has got a problem and shooting her in her feet, ENCOURAGE HER and GUIDE her along to OVERCOME THINGS.... SHOW her how you REALLY wish to HELP HER... Don't make it JUST HER BUSINESS... Make it BOTH YOUR BUSINESS.... In doing so, not only would you have Cher handle her temper and personality problem (note that it's quite unlikely that a person would have totally no temper or clear all of them off just like that. Learn to be content for the genuine effort your partner puts in for you to achieve what you hope for) but it would could also bring both of you closer and to a next level in the relationship....
As for Jes, I would just like to remind you that she's still in a relationship at this point. Even if things are not working well for her, are you sure she would be able to clear her thoughts and get along with you... Live happily ever after...? Hmm...
Also, I would like to know what was it that you mentioned about Jes being able to provide for but Cher is not able to?
Thus, last few questions in this post... Why did you broke up with Jes before? Who initiated it? How did she feel about it? How long ago was that? How many relationships (BGRs )you've had since you're born till today? Jes being your number what relationship? How about Cher? How long were you with Jes? What age both of you broke off? Remained as friends after?
How is Cher feeling about your relationship problem with her now? -
MORNING ANTOH! Do you understand the fundamentals of true love by now then...?Originally posted by antoh:i think John does not know what he wants.
He cannot understand the fundamental of true love
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John answered this few qns.Originally posted by Devil1976:Also, I would like to know what was it that you mentioned about Jes being able to provide for but Cher is not able to?
Thus, last few questions in this post... Why did you broke up with Jes before? Who initiated it? How did she feel about it? How long ago was that? How many relationships (BGRs )you've had since you're born till today? Jes being your number what relationship? How about Cher? How long were you with Jes? What age both of you broke off? Remained as friends after?
How is Cher feeling about your relationship problem with her now?
(1) Jes is able to be there for him when he needed someone, Jes is always able to put a smile on John face. Jes mean what she says and not like say one thing do another thing.
(2) Ok as for that, Jes and John break off 5.5yrs ago. John initiated it. She hate John to the core. But after some years, both started talkin again. And everythin is well again like the past minus the "love" between them.
(3) John been thru 1 BGR only. and thats with Jes. After that it's Cher.
(4) Like John said, they are young at that time. so it's ard 16. Yup they remained as friends after losin contact for 3 years.
(5) John FEELS tat Cher is beginin to lose faith in the relationship although Cher assure John that have never happened b4. -
U really think John dont understand or should i put it in another word that Cher dun appreciated John ?Originally posted by antoh:i think John does not know what he wants.
He cannot understand the fundamental of true love -
OKay.....Originally posted by mitgalant:John answered this few qns.
(1) Jes is able to be there for him when he needed someone, Jes is always able to put a smile on John face. Jes mean what she says and not like say one thing do another thing.
(2) Ok as for that, Jes and John break off 5.5yrs ago. John initiated it. She hate John to the core. But after some years, both started talkin again. And everythin is well again like the past minus the "love" between them.
(3) John been thru 1 BGR only. and thats with Jes. After that it's Cher.
(4) Like John said, they are young at that time. so it's ard 16. Yup they remained as friends after losin contact for 3 years.
(5) John FEELS tat Cher is beginin to lose faith in the relationship although Cher assure John that have never happened b4.
Then so far, what possible solutions have John thought of already?
Until now you should have certain decisions in your mind, but your only obstacle is fear.
I see your heart shifting away and you're trying to justify why.
I suggest you sought it out your reasonings before voicing out here.
It's going in circles already.
But of if this thread is going to be a rant thread. Then by all means, please do rant.
You're the master of your decisions. -
How long was it after the break up with Jes that John started a relationship with Cher? How long he knew her before they started on a relationship?Originally posted by mitgalant:John answered this few qns.
(1) Jes is able to be there for him when he needed someone, Jes is always able to put a smile on John face. Jes mean what she says and not like say one thing do another thing.
(2) Ok as for that, Jes and John break off 5.5yrs ago. John initiated it. She hate John to the core. But after some years, both started talkin again. And everythin is well again like the past minus the "love" between them.
(3) John been thru 1 BGR only. and thats with Jes. After that it's Cher.
(4) Like John said, they are young at that time. so it's ard 16. Yup they remained as friends after losin contact for 3 years.
(5) John FEELS tat Cher is beginin to lose faith in the relationship although Cher assure John that have never happened b4.
So I suppose that makes John a 21-22 years old? No offence, but a guy around that age with currently a 2nd relationship experience can be still rather inexperience in relationships..? But of course, I'm not implying anything on he's maturity....
Ok.. So Jes always put a smile on his face... But why now? Why now when she's attached? Why dumped her before and only starts to appreciate her now? Just by saying that they were young back then solves almost everything? How would Jes feels about all this? A relationship is at least a 2-way thing... It's never ONLY about how John THINKS and FEELS...? GOT THAT?
So... Is it REALLY JOHN the one who is losing faith in the relationship or is it CHER? -
Hmm...Originally posted by mitgalant:U really think John dont understand or should i put it in another word that Cher dun appreciated John ? -
quick question: can you name 3 things thats special/unique/attractive about Sher and the same 3 things bout Jes?Originally posted by mitgalant:Hi guys, currently ther is this situation, John is havin a long (exp:2yrs) relationship with Sher. Things are very nice in the first 2 yrs. However things starts to get pretty serious durin the past few mths. John is unable to stand Sher short temper and "Gals Domination". Juz as when John is out with his friends, he begins to take note of his ex gf, Jes. Jes in the meantime is also havin some problems in her own relationship.
John develop a crush on his ex-gf Jes yet cant bear to break off with Sher. But he is in a dilemma, cos he cant stand Sher character.
What must John do nw?
Give real solutions only pls. Dun make a fool out of it. Thanks.
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Cher is special cos she knws when John is in which mood without him tellin her or showin her any expression. Although John not very handsome she still stick with him. ( John knw got ppl try to break them up but she assure John.) She is kinda very cute.Originally posted by alexkusu:quick question: can you name 3 things thats special/unique/attractive about Sher and the same 3 things bout Jes?
Jes is special cos she is mature and a very independent individual. Her determination makes her very strong. She knows how to cheer John up and is always there no matter wat. She is pretty yet cute ?
btw moderate, dun scream at John la. he tryin very hard to think liao.
we cannot admit we young dun do silly things mah. Plus he knws that he is inexperience in this relationship cos he only haf 2 gf. -
ooh..actually i just want to see if john=you.Originally posted by mitgalant:Cher is special cos she knws when John is in which mood without him tellin her or showin her any expression. Although John not very handsome she still stick with him. ( John knw got ppl try to break them up but she assure John.) She is kinda very cute.
Jes is special cos she is mature and a very independent individual. Her determination makes her very strong. She knows how to cheer John up and is always there no matter wat. She is pretty yet cute ?
btw moderate, dun scream at John la. he tryin very hard to think liao.
we cannot admit we young dun do silly things mah. Plus he knws that he is inexperience in this relationship cos he only haf 2 gf.
so basically cher is a very emotional/temperamental person while jes is much more stable yet a selfish girl. Does that sounds right? -
u are absolutely right abt Cher but as for Jes, y would u say she is selfish ?Originally posted by alexkusu:ooh..actually i just want to see if john=you.
so basically cher is a very emotional/temperamental person while jes is much more stable yet a selfish girl. Does that sounds right?
well, ur tricks is great i would say
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John should go and wank and stop thinking abt jes.Originally posted by mitgalant:Hi guys, currently ther is this situation, John is havin a long (exp:2yrs) relationship with Sher. Things are very nice in the first 2 yrs. However things starts to get pretty serious durin the past few mths. John is unable to stand Sher short temper and "Gals Domination". Juz as when John is out with his friends, he begins to take note of his ex gf, Jes. Jes in the meantime is also havin some problems in her own relationship.
John develop a crush on his ex-gf Jes yet cant bear to break off with Sher. But he is in a dilemma, cos he cant stand Sher character.
What must John do nw?
Give real solutions only pls. Dun make a fool out of it. Thanks.
He should start concentrating on Sher -
It has been some time since we've seen such a irresponsible reply.Originally posted by mitgalant:Plus he knws that he is inexperience in this relationship cos he only haf 2 gf. -
so are u implyin that John should go and seek some experience b4 lookin for a gf ? So how u recommend him to get experience ?Originally posted by M©+square:It has been some time since we've seen such a irresponsible reply.
Moderate i am sure u also have gf b4 and u are also inexperience b4.
I dun see it as irresponsible.
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i lost someone i love a lot to an accident once.Originally posted by mitgalant:then john would rather god choose. at least he no need to headache. no need to think all these problems. but somehow this is wakin John up. he really needs to think thru. argh. MCP and should i say "FCP" ?
Male and Female CP.
Up to this day i always treause the one who loves me alot cos i know the pain of losing someone. John has never lost someone so is ok for him.
Till the day he lose the one he loves and that is the day that god will choose and let John have no choice left.
Does John really and seriously want this rude shock in order to know who he loves the most? -
being inexperience doesn't mean you can be indecisive. Very poor excuse.Originally posted by mitgalant:so are u implyin that John should go and seek some experience b4 lookin for a gf ? So how u recommend him to get experience ?
Moderate i am sure u also have gf b4 and u are also inexperience b4.
I dun see it as irresponsible.
I recommend John to be a responsible youth and take charge of his own life and decisions.
If you haden come to AA and you've commited silly mistakes, no one blames you.
But now that you've read the advises from AA contributors which i think were sane and practical.
Having more experience doesn't make you a more responsible and mature person.
Like i've mentioned, by claiming your present actions because you're being inexperience is a poor excuse. -
orh..those wasnt tricks..jus innocent questionsOriginally posted by mitgalant:u are absolutely right abt Cher but as for Jes, y would u say she is selfish ?
well, ur tricks is great i would say
i cud be wrong..but 'maybe' Jes would discard you one day if u fail to catch up with her.. unlike Cher.. only that cher's shortcomin is her short fuse