My Problem
-
i am now into my 29th month of unemployment.
many must be wondering why i am still without a job. choosy? of course not.
it all started many months ago during a job interview. i had a sudden urge to run out of the office. then things got worst. i start to palpitate and find it hard to breathe when queuing for food, travelling in trains and buses. it was then that i know it is for real.
i booked an appointment to see a shrink. i was told i have anxiety attack and mild agoraphobia.
knn. i never had such problems for the last 39 years. and why now?
i was given medication which i refused to take. it can be addictive. the doctor suggested gradual desenitization.
now i find it ok to travel in trains and buses. but i still feel nervous eating at public eateries.
sianzzzzz. can i ever fully recover?
-
What u work as?Originally posted by dragg:i am now into my 29th month of unemployment.
many must be wondering why i am still without a job. choosy? of course not.
it all started many months ago during a job interview. i had a sudden urge to run out of the office. then things got worst. i start to palpitate and find it hard to breathe when queuing for food, travelling in trains and buses. it was then that i know it is for real.
i booked an appointment to see a shrink. i was told i have anxiety attack and mild agoraphobia.
knn. i never had such problems for the last 39 years. and why now?
i was given medication which i refused to take. it can be addictive. the doctor suggested gradual desenitization.
now i find it ok to travel in trains and buses. but i still feel nervous eating at public eateries.
sianzzzzz. can i ever fully recover?
29 month! you married
-
single and live alone.
-
how are you finances man?
it pretty hard not being able to find a job and yet have to see a shrink and medicate -
i am still financially sound. but the problem is i cant wait forever.Originally posted by hisoka:how are you finances man?
it pretty hard not being able to find a job and yet have to see a shrink and medicate
i saw the shrink only once. what they advised is exactly what is written in the books. -
i understand that medication makes u reliable on it.
these conditions are hard to treat, and there is no fast or direct cure.
some pple recover faster, some dun.
well e best thing is to listen to ur shrink's advice for now.
but u will need patience and determination to get yourself out of this situation. -
its a catch 22 situation.
i need to find a job in order to recover but i also need to recover in order to find a job.
wth!!! -
I think you shall start off by trying to solve your problem first.
Solving it might give you further confidence to finding a job.
Do things that will "desensitize" the anxiety at eating places. Such as doing small steps like walking around the eating place, take a look at every stall, ta-pao a drink/meal, sitting at the table and have a drink or meal etc....
-
it is very very frustrating.Originally posted by alfagal:i understand that medication makes u reliable on it.
these conditions are hard to treat, and there is no fast or direct cure.
some pple recover faster, some dun.
well e best thing is to listen to ur shrink's advice for now.
but u will need patience and determination to get yourself out of this situation. -
it is very funny feeling nervous eating at public places.Originally posted by CoolMyth:I think you shall start off by trying to solve your problem first.
Solving it might give you further confidence to finding a job.
Do things that will "desensitize" the anxiety at eating places. Such as doing small steps like walking around the eating place, take a look at every stall, ta-pao a drink/meal, sitting at the table and have a drink or meal etc....
it is something that i have been doing normally for the last 39 years, and now this.
it is very embarassing. -
wondered ever y u feel nervous?
-
Nah, it's understandable.Originally posted by dragg:it is very funny feeling nervous eating at public places.
it is something that i have been doing normally for the last 39 years, and now this.
it is very embarassing. 
You just have to find the root of your problem and take steps to solve it. Everyone's reasons are different. Professional psychologists can only do so much. The important thing is that you yourself must be determined to solve the problem. -
frankly i dont know why.Originally posted by alfagal:wondered ever y u feel nervous? -
coolmyth made a v good post.
u need bring up your confidence.
e.g doing simpler stuff outside ur home, then slowly doing more stuff like dinning, shopping etc. -
Maybe you had some bad childhood experience, like kanna scolded by coffee kia when you were young?Originally posted by dragg:frankly i dont know why.
Or maybe you kanna rejected by girlfriend while you two were having a meal so somehow the trauma caused you to feel anxious at those places?
j/k. But it's reasons like this that makes one feel anxious. You just have to discover it for yourself. -
Thank you.Originally posted by alfagal:coolmyth made a v good post.
u need bring up your confidence.
e.g doing simpler stuff outside ur home, then slowly doing more stuff like dinning, shopping etc.
why ain't you posting at SH?
-
once i ordered a plate of rice and suddenly felt nervous. i asked the hawker to ta bao for me. an old couple who was sharing the table thought i was angry with them and pleaded with me not to go away. many people were staring at me. i took the rice and ate it at the beach. in a hurry to leave i even forgot to take a spoon.Originally posted by CoolMyth:Nah, it's understandable.
You just have to find the root of your problem and take steps to solve it. Everyone's reasons are different. Professional psychologists can only do so much. The important thing is that you yourself must be determined to solve the problem.
i had for steamboat buffet with my sister. we ended up leaving after only eating one round. i shocked my sister.
on another occasion i arranged to meet my friend for an outing. suddenly the anxiety struck and i left only after talking to him for a few minutes.
it was so embarassing.
though i know they are understanding, i cant help but feel like a neurotic. -
for the last 39 years of my life i never once had an anxiety attack anywhere.Originally posted by CoolMyth:Maybe you had some bad childhood experience, like kanna scolded by coffee kia when you were young?
Or maybe you kanna rejected by girlfriend while you two were having a meal so somehow the trauma caused you to feel anxious at those places?
j/k. But it's reasons like this that makes one feel anxious. You just have to discover it for yourself.
i believe it has something to do with my unemployment, living alone and having only one friend. -
Hmm.....well saying it out might be helpful as well.Originally posted by dragg:once i ordered a plate of rice and suddenly felt nervous. i asked the hawker to ta bao for me. an old couple who was sharing the table thought i was angry with them and pleaded with me not to go away. many people were staring at me. i took the rice and ate it at the beach. in a hurry to leave i even forgot to take a spoon.
i had for steamboat buffet with my sister. we ended up leaving after only eating one round. i shocked my sister.
on another occasion i arranged to meet my friend for an outing. suddenly the anxiety struck and i left only after talking to him for a few minutes.
it was so embarassing.
though i know they are understanding, i cant help but feel like a neurotic.
I suddenly feel that your problem may be actually because you are very susceptible to people staring at you, hence the anxiety at public transport/eating places cause that's what you said.
Maybe it's a sign of low-confidence cause you're saying you cannot find a job? Or maybe you think you dun look presentable enough outside? Well, these kind of things are always connected. -
This is like change management, being afriad to move on into the unknown because all along, maybe you have been doing the same things everyday. -
maybe its time that u open up ur social circle, networking, activities
to bring up your self esteem, confidence and lower ur overwhelming self consciousness.
u already stated that u know that pple ard u are understanding. its your thinking of reproaching urself that u are neurotic over n over again that makes things go in a vicious cycle. (if u know wat i mean)
u need to change your thinking into a more healthy one.
naturally, humans contantly seek to be in an environment to be in a happy disposition to make themselves feel better. you shld too.
-
i cant deny that i have lost my self-esteem and confidence since i lost my job.
-
That's a good first step. Now at least you have a semblance of what's wrong.Originally posted by dragg:i cant deny that i have lost my self-esteem and confidence since i lost my job.
Now, you just have to discover what works best for you in terms of managing the problem and then have faith in doing it. -
Learn something new. Do something different.
-
u know the reasons and I think it's rather brave of u to voice them out. You have done nothing wrong anyone or to yourself,so stop feeling embarrassed abt it. No doubt you are at low point of your life but i feel this is the right time for you to bounce back stronger than ever. Have more faith in youself. Rem, u are out to prove to no one,but yourself, that you can overcome urself and the obstacles facing u.
Adapting or readjusting to the increasingly chaotic pace and stressful lifestyle is already not a easy feat for most of ppl who have jobs now, let alone you.