My b/f has asked me to take some pictures
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well, i think, personally, such things are between couple..
if you are comfy with it, then do it..
if you are not, you shld discuss the issue with him..
you n him are not married..so at the same time, you have to take into consideration the worse scenario that you cannot withstand the long distant r/s.... -
I got a perfect solution.
Go to some porn site, find "one" that looks like urs and send it to him. Both side also happy. -
for the blind...Originally posted by skeujin:people. i dont want to be a wet blanket but this is AUNT AGONY not BAR.
please treat all posts for help here as real n practise giving the benifit of doubt.
thank you. -
threadstarter 'zhao lou' liao..
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After 3 years this is how much he respects you ??????????????????Originally posted by kettie:My b/f has asked me to take some pictures to send him becasue he is working overseas. But the problem is he wants to see me sexy, showing my breast like those online. He said he wants to feel good with me and by doing that, he stays loyal with me?? I dont like this idea because I think it is quite cheap for a gilr to do so. I feel ashamed to do it. I said , when we have holidyas together, we can make love as how much as we like, but not taking this kind of pcitures. We ended in argument and now a cold war.
I know he is a nice guy, well-educated, quite caring; But it becomes distant r/s, not sure how our future will be. I just have some thoughts in mind , but not share with him.
What should I do? I am right. We have been together for 3 yrs.
Ask him to post his sister's or mom's pics first.
What a sleazebag ! -
I concur with fudgester. Apparently, your boyfriend has succumbed to the devil's whisper of lust, possibly due to the foreign's soil he is residing, adopting the wrong culture. Remember, we are Asian who have our own values and belief.Originally posted by fudgester:Absolutely not.
Ever read the newspapers? There have been cases of guys who make their girlfriends take naked photos of themselves. And when the relationship is over, the guys blackmail the girls using the pics.
And even if the two of you don't break up, ever thought about what may happen if your bf loses the pics and they fall into the wrong hands? (Hint: Tammy.)
In the first place, if your boyfriend was such a nice guy, he wouldn't have asked you to take naked pics of yourself. He is asking you to do this out of lust, not love. He sees you as nothing more than a sex toy for his own pleasure.
I say dump this jerk and find another guy who knows how to respect women.
In a serious romantic relationship, heavy petting is considered acceptable but not love making. That comes after you have signed the dotted line at ROM. For more conservative type, perhaps after customary wedding ceremony. Well, there are those who jumped into husband-wife phase of relationship by doing the reverse.
Unless your boyfriend has a strong spirituality, fudgester and others' input are more or less the truth, nothing but the truth. Of course, it is still your decision as we do not have a full picture of your relationship. We are onlookers with limited perspective but we know better because of our experience and knowledge of social norm.
You are calling the shot at this point of time. -
u better give me all ur money or i go rob few bank.
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his loyalty is only worth a few piece of sexy photo? wow!
so when another girl become touchy towards him, he can die for her liao?
decide for yourself. -
I say...
do what you are comfortable with. Dun send if your instinct tells you not to. Your gut is trying to tell you something is wrong with this guy's intention, so heed it.
If he keeps insisting, then just break up with him. There are better guys out there who will know how to respect your wish -
if he cant respect your decisions? there is no room for compromising of your security? then you're better off if he leaves you for a cow.
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If you are unable to agree to his request immediately (which is reflected by the fact that you post at Sgforums to consult the opinions of others), then you might as well turn him down. No point forcing yourself to do something you don't want. He loves you and won't hold it against you. At least he's honest with what he wants. So you be honest what you want - don't produce the indecent photos.
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wat if u send him the pix.. and u break up one day? He could blackmail u.. The pix could end up wif his frenz.. could be posted online.. If he was educated he would know that and would'nt request for such a thing. If u have enuf respect for urself u'll tell him NO.Originally posted by kettie:My b/f has asked me to take some pictures to send him becasue he is working overseas. But the problem is he wants to see me sexy, showing my breast like those online. He said he wants to feel good with me and by doing that, he stays loyal with me?? I dont like this idea because I think it is quite cheap for a gilr to do so. I feel ashamed to do it. I said , when we have holidyas together, we can make love as how much as we like, but not taking this kind of pcitures. We ended in argument and now a cold war.
I know he is a nice guy, well-educated, quite caring; But it becomes distant r/s, not sure how our future will be. I just have some thoughts in mind , but not share with him.
What should I do? I am right. We have been together for 3 yrs.
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Originally posted by coffeeortea:if he cant respect your decisions? there is no room for compromising of your security? then you're better off if he leaves you for a cow.
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Simply said don't do it.
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Compatibility in sexuality is important for a long term relationship. I don't think there is anything wrong with what he is asking - but I do think to threaten his loyalty in exchange for it is underhanded. Faithfulness should never be used as a weapon to obtain sexual favours in a commited relationship.
This is a good way of understanding your partner more, and knowing if he is the type of person you would like to settle down with - afterall you have already been together 3 years. If it isn't, better to cut the line. -
Thank you for your considering. Yes, I am sincerely looking for advice and also to see if there are other guys also asking their g/r to do the same and how they react to this. Therefore, If you want to have a "fun" conversation which is insensitive to others, please give me some respect and go to the Bar.Originally posted by skeujin:people. i dont want to be a wet blanket but this is AUNT AGONY not BAR.
please treat all posts for help here as real n practise giving the benifit of doubt.
thank you. -
Hee.. don't make ur decision based on peer pressure wor. Other people may be completely fine with it doesn't mean you have to.Originally posted by kettie:to see if there are other guys also asking their g/r to do the same and how they react to this. -
Well, there are indeed other guys asking their girlfriends to do the same thing.Originally posted by kettie:Thank you for your considering. Yes, I am sincerely looking for advice and also to see if there are other guys also asking their g/r to do the same and how they react to this. Therefore, If you want to have a "fun" conversation which is insensitive to others, please give me some respect and go to the Bar.
We have a term for such guys: 'jerks'.
So my advice is to dump this jerk for someone else who respects women. -
+1
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He mentioned that he doesnt like to search online because it is not me and he doesn't feel connected to me by looking at these pictures. By doing this, he feels very close to me. In three yr r/s, we had sex only once and that was b/c I didnt want and he respected. When he went overseas for work and came back home, we spent holidays together, and both could not control. This was the first time we had sex after three yrs together. Then he left for overseas again. Long distant r/s is risk taking. I just have a gut feeling that it will end no where and finally remains in me a loss although we both do not have anyone at the moment (I trust him). But it is just an intuition telling me and I always trust my intuition.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Compatibility in sexuality is important for a long term relationship. I don't think there is anything wrong with what he is asking - but I do think to threaten his loyalty in exchange for it is underhanded. Faithfulness should never be used as a weapon to obtain sexual favours in a commited relationship.
This is a good way of understanding your partner more, and knowing if he is the type of person you would like to settle down with - afterall you have already been together 3 years. If it isn't, better to cut the line.
It comes to my conclusion now by not doing that for whatever reason. -
Well listen to your intuition then. Sometimes long distance relationships work in strange ways.Originally posted by kettie:He mentioned that he doesnt like to search online because it is not me and he doesn't feel connected to me by looking at these pictures. By doing this, he feels very close to me. In three yr r/s, we had sex only once and that was b/c I didnt want and he respected. When he went overseas for work and came back home, we spent holidays together, and both could not control. This was the first time we had sex after three yrs together. Then he left for overseas again. Long distant r/s is risk taking. I just have a gut feeling that it will end no where and finally remains in me a loss although we both do not have anyone at the moment (I trust him). But it is just an intuition telling me and I always trust my intuition.
It comes to my conclusion now by not doing that for whatever reason.
However, sexuality is something you cannot ignore and pretend doesn't exist. When I say sexuality - i dont mean sex but desire. And there should be nothing wrong if both are consenting adults. If you are uncomfortable with sending him photographs, but still wish that there is something you can do - try thinking of a compromise -
well said!Originally posted by fudgester:Well, there are indeed other guys asking their girlfriends to do the same thing.
We have a term for such guys: 'jerks'.
So my advice is to dump this jerk for someone else who respects women. -
u make him take his first and send it to u.. .then u take urs and send it to him.. without the face of course
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Dump him. I think he is an idiot and you will be a bigger idiot if you give him those pictures. Think of what he can use against you if the relationship turns sour.Originally posted by kettie:My b/f has asked me to take some pictures to send him becasue he is working overseas. But the problem is he wants to see me sexy, showing my breast like those online. He said he wants to feel good with me and by doing that, he stays loyal with me?? I dont like this idea because I think it is quite cheap for a gilr to do so. I feel ashamed to do it. I said , when we have holidyas together, we can make love as how much as we like, but not taking this kind of pcitures. We ended in argument and now a cold war.
I know he is a nice guy, well-educated, quite caring; But it becomes distant r/s, not sure how our future will be. I just have some thoughts in mind , but not share with him.
What should I do? I am right. We have been together for 3 yrs.