Get married liao then further education?
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thats my whole point.Originally posted by casino_king:Either get married or don't... getting engaged does not serve any purpose I think. It might be worse, I imagine, to become engaged because the couple might take each other for granted; start to behave like they "belong" to each other and basically have the same attitute of married people but without the commitment and legal rights accorded married people.
The divorce rate of married people is high enough and I think the separation rate of engaged people will be off the roof.
if they can stand engaged life, then they can cope with married life.
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i can foresee myself stayin with my mother after marriage if nel is like his brother.Originally posted by rainee:hmm sumhow i dun wan to stay together before marriage...
got studies show that staying together before marriage will cause the couple to just not get married at all and just cohabit for the rest of their life (which is fine for some I understand, but is not what I want in long term) or their marriages tend to end in divorce. Dunno why tho
den when ppl ask hw come u 2 marry so long liao still no kids?
i'd reply.. hw to have kids when we're livin apart? -
hmm..dis one hor up to individuel hor
for ch0i hor if can study study lor
why waste yor talent
but for ch0i , ch0i dun wan study aready
wo de hair all turn white aready -
Getting technical liao....Originally posted by Devil1976:WAH... 
Cheers -
There is a report about this issue actually, proving that couples who do not cohabitate tend to stay married compared to those who cohabited before marriage. So I am just sharing what I read abt this issue:Originally posted by Devil1976:Are you trying to say that those who don't stay together before their marriage would have a lower tendency to go for divorce
"57% of cohabiting couples dissolve within ten years when compared with 30% of all first marriages (VanGoethem 2005:77).
The risk of divorce after living together is 40 to 85% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together. In other words, those who live together before marriage are almost twice as likely to divorce than those who did not live together (Bumpass & Sweet 1995; Hall & Zhao 1995; Bracher, Santow, Morgan & Russell 1993; DeMaris & Rao 1992 and Glen 1990)."
Taken from here
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but Nel is not like his brother right?Originally posted by shinta:i can foresee myself stayin with my mother after marriage if nel is like his brother.
den when ppl ask hw come u 2 marry so long liao still no kids?
i'd reply.. hw to have kids when we're livin apart? 
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-edited-Originally posted by rainee:but Nel is not like his brother right?
dun think i wanna share this part on public forum -
Just read what u mention. U know ur bf for 10 mths and u are 20 yrs old.
No one can tell u whether u shld or shld not marry him however, all our advices will be different.
Being attached and being married is 2 different things, there are alot of things u shld consider:
- Finance
- Time spent
- Future plans (sometimes accidents might happen. Change of job, shifts, stress, etc)
- Housing
Questions:
- After marriage, where are you staying?
- Financially, how stable are two of u?
- Intending to have a full-blown wedding and customary? (Will affect finance ALOT)
- How well do you know ur bf and family (in case u intend to stay with in-laws)?
- etc.
There are countless of questions.
But on the hind side, I have nieces and nephews that are got married at 21 and 23. But they know their spouse for long and were already working.
There is also not much issues on whether u are studying OR not, what is important is ur allocation on time. For myself, I married at 22 right after I graduated. I know my husband for abt 15 mths (physically together probably max 9 mths, was overseas studying at certain time frame).
JMHO: Get engage first if u are really keen on getting married but unsure. See how it work out for 1-2 yrs. If things work out fine and u have planned ur future, then probably u can go ahead with the marriage. (i.e. financially stable, housing secure, etc) Don't see things as simple as get married and not bothered. Alot of things CAN happen which is unpredicable. -
Okie... Have ya read the objectives of that site on it's homepage?Originally posted by rainee:There is a report about this issue actually, proving that couples who do not cohabitate tend to stay married compared to those who cohabited before marriage. So I am just sharing what I read abt this issue:
"57% of cohabiting couples dissolve within ten years when compared with 30% of all first marriages (VanGoethem 2005:77).
The risk of divorce after living together is 40 to 85% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together. In other words, those who live together before marriage are almost twice as likely to divorce than those who did not live together (Bumpass & Sweet 1995; Hall & Zhao 1995; Bracher, Santow, Morgan & Russell 1993; DeMaris & Rao 1992 and Glen 1990)."
Taken from here
As much as I'm being skeptical of the source of the 'statistics' and how they're being carried out... The 1st statement doesn't really show a very high difference between 30% and 57%?
Not to mention that often such 'numerical statistics' which is looking at and justifying relationship outcomes are often looking at quite limited vectors(?).
From a psychlogical point of view, those who cohabits should have a more 'open' form of mindset... Possibly more of younger age as compared to more elder ones which generally contains more 'setting' form of mindset....
It is hence not surprising at all that people who have a more 'open' / direct / younger mentality would be more ready to accept divorce as an option when things don't work out as compared to the latter.
To add, staying in a marriage when things don't work out also doesn't necessarily mean it'll be a better option all the time.