When a girl says...
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Originally posted by dcx:Married liao le....how?
the girl you are chasing is already married? -
me guy.Originally posted by rainee:
the girl you are chasing is already married?
me married.
so your tactic can work for me or not?
Btw...can work on married women or not? -
if she is married and is happy, then i wud suggest leave her aloneOriginally posted by dcx:me guy.
me married.
so your tactic can work for me or not?
Btw...can work on married women or not? -
by asking her, it might make u feel gd cause u wanna find out but have u spare a thot for her? dnt make her feel uneasy. now the best thing u can do is to jus treat her as a normal fren & prob wait for the bestOriginally posted by kuckuc:I don't wanna give up... it's her words, being like so cold to me..
Should I ask directly & ask why I no chance? -
if not happy how leh?Originally posted by rainee:if she is married and is happy, then i wud suggest leave her alone -
its a direct reject. there's no such thing as the person being too gd, its all jus a tactful excuse onlyOriginally posted by photo_seeker:I've went through this before. It can be she's indirectly rejecting you or thinks you're too good for her due to low confidence. Can be either way round. -
dude, i respect u, thts wat makes a real manOriginally posted by dork3d:After that arh...
Whenever we go out shopping or gai gai, me always the one holding her bag and all her shopping bags.. When at home, me do all the housechores and cooking lor... But me don't mind... Cos she helped me to tahan 10 months for our baby and all these can't compared to the pain and uncomfortable status she went through...
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u hav nvr met a girl with low self-esteem before.some who believe it's just a facade when things r too good to b true.Originally posted by redname:its a direct reject. there's no such thing as the person being too gd, its all jus a tactful excuse only -
recently i have tis tinking. y do we always say its unfair & get so hurt tinking he/she is so nasty to reject aft wat we've done. i come to the conclusion tht its because human beings r selfish. we get pissed off cause we tink tht all she's tinking is her happiness & doesn't care for u but come to tink of it, aren't we doing the same thing by seeking our own happiness & not even care how the person will feel if he/she is with us? in actual fact, i do believe the person does care but he/she cant show it cause she/he is afraid it might send wrg signals again. so the best is still to lie low & become normal frens with him/her & let the person fall in love with u now
jus my 2 cents worth -
maybe u r right, most the gals i go aft do have some respect for themselves. which is gd as long as u put a limit to itOriginally posted by sqully:u hav nvr met a girl with low self-esteem before.some who believe it's just a facade when things r too good to b true. -
If you want to win her heart. Only one way. Pick up soccer now!!! Train hard and smart, get into an S-League team, play well, get Singapore into World Cup, then win a contract with PSV. Play for a season or 2 scoring alot of goals and assists. Then hopefully Manchester United or Chelsea spot your talents and commercial potential. Buy you for few million pounds... and then you become an asian superstar... then she will say... Now I'm worth it!
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You are right man! If a girl tells you she's not worth it, she's probably rejecting you. No way a girl is interested in you would say such a thing. Unless... she's Elecktra, has to fight crime at night, and dont want her enemies to hurt you. But do you think that is possible? So no, she's rejecting you. Just be a gentleman, back off first. Sometimes ppl will only realise what they like when they lost it. Let her feel that lost. That is if she feels that way. But if she's actually relieved you stop bothering her, then you are definitely better off putting your attention on someone else. If she's really into you, then she will try all ways to contact you again... then this time the ball is in your court. If you want to win her heart, it's how u play that stroke.Originally posted by redname:recently i have tis tinking. y do we always say its unfair & get so hurt tinking he/she is so nasty to reject aft wat we've done. i come to the conclusion tht its because human beings r selfish. we get pissed off cause we tink tht all she's tinking is her happiness & doesn't care for u but come to tink of it, aren't we doing the same thing by seeking our own happiness & not even care how the person will feel if he/she is with us? in actual fact, i do believe the person does care but he/she cant show it cause she/he is afraid it might send wrg signals again. so the best is still to lie low & become normal frens with him/her & let the person fall in love with u now
jus my 2 cents worth
But the best way is be a soccer star, drive a Ferrari F430 to fetch her out for dinner. Proven to work everytime. -
'MARRIAGE' is just a term which supposingly comes with commitment(s) vowed in a legal sense.Originally posted by dcx:Married liao le....how?
The LEVEL of 'COMMITMENT' and the way to HANDLE a MARRIAGE is still VAST. Just like the way to handle a Love Relationship... Just that in most cases, the picture would probably be narrowed in a MARRIAGE as compared to a LOVE RELATIONSHIP alone... -
Think rob bank easier n shorter....also only one way....do it big n become damn rich or go in squat....Originally posted by leddy:If you want to win her heart. Only one way. Pick up soccer now!!! Train hard and smart, get into an S-League team, play well, get Singapore into World Cup, then win a contract with PSV. Play for a season or 2 scoring alot of goals and assists. Then hopefully Manchester United or Chelsea spot your talents and commercial potential. Buy you for few million pounds... and then you become an asian superstar... then she will say... Now I'm worth it! -
I'm good at "handlings"....it's my area of field.....of course, i do have some expertise too...Originally posted by Devil1976:'MARRIAGE' is just a term which supposingly comes with commitment(s) vowed in a legal sense.
The LEVEL of 'COMMITMENT' and the way to HANDLE a MARRIAGE is still VAST. Just like the way to handle a Love Relationship... Just that in most cases, the picture would probably be narrowed in a MARRIAGE as compared to a LOVE RELATIONSHIP alone... -
same experiences as u...left me tramustisedOriginally posted by Zelphon:Well....This is my 1st post in SgForum...
Never posted anything in there but have been reading SgForum for the past 6 mths...
Today I shall make an exception cos this thread is something close to my heart..
When a gal says "Dun be so good to me, I'm not worth it..." I strongly suggest u back off immediately...
I have the same exact encounter ....
A gal...whom i liked and pursued for 3 yrs....
she told me the exact same words 3 times... but i continue to pursue her relentlessly for 3 years...
during these 3 years...I did lotsa stuff for her ... Tried my best to be not only a good friend and a loving companion...etc.. hoping that she will change and give me a chance...
But in the end... nothing happens....instead my heart was shattered...due to the multiple wounds that i have received in these 3 yrs...
All my friends told me to not be so stubborn and be so nice to her.... friends who are close to me and know exactly the whole story... advises me to give up on her...still i ignore them...thinking that one day...i will melt her heart....
well...it never happens....all these while, the gal gave me mixed signals....and only come to me when she required help in any areas....to the extent of exploiting my feelings for her.....
No one will say No to helping the person they like.... so in the end, i became some sort of a handyman to a gal...whom i adored for 3 yrs and who keep on saying " Dun be so good to me.... I am not worth it"..
That's my experience so far...wonder how u make out of it..
I suggest that u go for it if u feel strongly for the gal....but do not be stubborn and think that u can melt a gals' heart with time....cos sometimes...it just doesn't work that way...... At the very least, u tried to pursue her...But if it doesn't work out....Take the fall graciously and heal...there are tons of gals out there and definitely there will be a suitable for u... -
"handlings"....?Originally posted by dcx:I'm good at "handlings"....it's my area of field.....of course, i do have some expertise too... -
How come so many people try for 3 years and then give up and move on? hmmz...Originally posted by rainee:When you do something in hope of touching a girl's heart, do it with sincerity. Not with this thought at the back of your mind: I am doing all this for her, so one day she must return my feelings, only then it will be fair.
Because once you have this thought, you will feel like it is unfair when she rejected you for someone else. You will feel that it is unfair why is it that you have done so much more for her yet she has never given you a place in her heart, and yet someone can just suddenly walk into her life and become her boyfriend the next day.
Love is something that cannot be forced. It is either there or not. Same goes for chemistry between two persons...if you choose to pursue a girl, do it sincerely and remember, it is your own willingness to wait for her. She didn't ask you to do that. So you cannot blame her when she does not choose you in the end.
So once rejected, stop thinking it is unfair and move on graciously while wishing her happiness...It is a big world out there after all, so you will meet someone who is for you one day
My personal experience is pursuing this gal I really liked for 3 years (20 yo - 23 yo)
Same issue as you guys. Gal gives mixed reactions ("I like you too, but...")
Gena bashed emotionally left right centre for those 3 years, like rollercoaster
All this time, I also had this problem of thinking, I do so much, why I don't get reciprocated.
After giving up, I expanded my friendship circle, had loads of fun, went casual dating a few times, totally gave up on love until I met my wife.
That time, I din expect anything (coz I gave up on love u see), so I treated her as a friend, do what I can for her as a friend
one day, she said she does not want to get married, rather be a nun. Without thinking it thru, I told her I will build a hut beside her and become a monk. Then she said I am so funny. Like that then we might as well get married.
A few weeks later, without knowing what happened, we were holding hands.
A few months later, she became my fiancee
A year later, she and I ROM-ed.
End of the day, I really think there is no right or wrong in a relationship. A gal can accept things from you and still have the right to tell u to get lost (after all you were willing to give, she willing to receive, who to blame?). The pain comes when we guys start to think is it worth it doing all these. My opinion is, the moment you start having these thoughts, then the friendship is coming to an end.
So how to cope with the pain after breaking away?
I guess the best way to cope with the pain is to have more friends. Have more friends, socialize more, Go nuts with friends etc. Go on a backpacking trip with friends. Go somewhere alone to have fun on your own. etc. Life is short, no point wasting 3 years feeling painful. Enjoy life to the fullest!
At the same time, just continue to be nice. You might never know what will happen, just as how me and my wife got together. -
sometimes no point persisting..i know the optis might say that ur persistence might pay off and win over her but chances are slim i feel..and maybe u should start looking elsewhere..
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i guess persistence might work but its still on how u persist lor. jus let the person b comfortable with u 1st, let her feel u wanna be frens now & not as BF lorOriginally posted by stellazio:sometimes no point persisting..i know the optis might say that ur persistence might pay off and win over her but chances are slim i feel..and maybe u should start looking elsewhere.. -
What kind of girl is she anyway? And... How are you like? Financial situation etc.
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This is indeed a great thread from great people with great replies No doubt it helped lotsa ppl eh?
Well, I decided to move on, let it be natural lo... although it's hard to make a change, but will try bit by bit. You know, I hardly eat when I'm with her together, feel like vomiting... heh, too nervous.
She's caring, always think about her parents first, house... typical Cancer type. Very responsible in her work. As for me... ofcourse a normal guy la, with a normal job and decent pay. -
yea.Originally posted by FireIce:u better dun bother her or she will find u irritating and she will outright tell u u are not good enough for her
you are just not good enough for her.
she trying to make you feel better, but you want to jump down the shit hole yourself. later dun come crying in here. -
Will even heed our advice even tho u posted tis thread?
or u wannna get wat u wanna hear to make u feel better?I know it
indirectly shes asking u to get off her back brudder
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I am a girl, but I waited for someone for 4 years and then decided it is time for the leaf to finally make its time from the tree and leave with the windOriginally posted by soul_rage:How come so many people try for 3 years and then give up and move on? hmmz...
My personal experience is pursuing this gal I really liked for 3 years (20 yo - 23 yo)
Same issue as you guys. Gal gives mixed reactions ("I like you too, but...")
Gena bashed emotionally left right centre for those 3 years, like rollercoaster
All this time, I also had this problem of thinking, I do so much, why I don't get reciprocated.
After giving up, I expanded my friendship circle, had loads of fun, went casual dating a few times, totally gave up on love until I met my wife.
That time, I din expect anything (coz I gave up on love u see), so I treated her as a friend, do what I can for her as a friend
one day, she said she does not want to get married, rather be a nun. Without thinking it thru, I told her I will build a hut beside her and become a monk. Then she said I am so funny. Like that then we might as well get married.
A few weeks later, without knowing what happened, we were holding hands.
A few months later, she became my fiancee
A year later, she and I ROM-ed.
End of the day, I really think there is no right or wrong in a relationship. A gal can accept things from you and still have the right to tell u to get lost (after all you were willing to give, she willing to receive, who to blame?). The pain comes when we guys start to think is it worth it doing all these. My opinion is, the moment you start having these thoughts, then the friendship is coming to an end.
So how to cope with the pain after breaking away?
I guess the best way to cope with the pain is to have more friends. Have more friends, socialize more, Go nuts with friends etc. Go on a backpacking trip with friends. Go somewhere alone to have fun on your own. etc. Life is short, no point wasting 3 years feeling painful. Enjoy life to the fullest!
At the same time, just continue to be nice. You might never know what will happen, just as how me and my wife got together.