When a girl says...
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Need to know when to give up when it is time to...Dun just limit yourself to someone who doesn't care as much as you care for him/her
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Well....accept the fact that she just does not appreciate u...Pack up all ur feelings and try to move on... Cut off all contacts with her and avoid her so that u can start to heal... Eventually with enough time... U will heal and find a new gal who will appreciate u better...Originally posted by RaDian06:Hi everyone, this is my 1st post here as well..... my english kinda not up to the standard, so pls be patient with it, thx
Anyway, I am in the same situation as Zelphon, not totally 100% but almost, pursued for 3 yrs ++, did lots of stuff for her bla bla bla.... same old story, and rejected twice for the same words, few weeks ago......
I've been thinking a lot, thinking, why this why that, what should I do, bla bla bla... n bcoz of all the question marks on my head, Im unable to concentrate on my work, didnt get proper sleep and, well might sound lame n funny for most of u out there, tears dropped from my eyes every night....................
And up until today, Im still unable to find the best solution. So, Zelphon, if u dun mind, care to tell us how did u manage to get through this?
Even to date...I still think of her...but then deep down...I know that the 2 of us will never be together...
I am moving on.... -
This is the sign..
so take it easy if things going to happen.. -
im surprised it took u all this while to postOriginally posted by Zelphon:Well....This is my 1st post in SgForum...
Never posted anything in there but have been reading SgForum for the past 6 mths...
Today I shall make an exception cos this thread is something close to my heart..
When a gal says "Dun be so good to me, I'm not worth it..." I strongly suggest u back off immediately...
I have the same exact encounter ....
A gal...whom i liked and pursued for 3 yrs....
she told me the exact same words 3 times... but i continue to pursue her relentlessly for 3 years...
during these 3 years...I did lotsa stuff for her ... Tried my best to be not only a good friend and a loving companion...etc.. hoping that she will change and give me a chance...
But in the end... nothing happens....instead my heart was shattered...due to the multiple wounds that i have received in these 3 yrs...
All my friends told me to not be so stubborn and be so nice to her.... friends who are close to me and know exactly the whole story... advises me to give up on her...still i ignore them...thinking that one day...i will melt her heart....
well...it never happens....all these while, the gal gave me mixed signals....and only come to me when she required help in any areas....to the extent of exploiting my feelings for her.....
No one will say No to helping the person they like.... so in the end, i became some sort of a handyman to a gal...whom i adored for 3 yrs and who keep on saying " Dun be so good to me.... I am not worth it"..
That's my experience so far...wonder how u make out of it..
I suggest that u go for it if u feel strongly for the gal....but do not be stubborn and think that u can melt a gals' heart with time....cos sometimes...it just doesn't work that way...... At the very least, u tried to pursue her...But if it doesn't work out....Take the fall graciously and heal...there are tons of gals out there and definitely there will be a suitable for u... -
Sometimes im wondering, do guys like me or Zelphon deserve this kind of treatment? Do whatever the best for her for years, end up, what do we get, fren, sigh..............
Zelphon, im great to hear that you are moving on........ I really do.....
Im struggling, struggling to get myself up. This year birthday present is the biggest and the most surprise present I ever had in my whole life. Life sucks after all.................................... -
Well said..Originally posted by Zelphon:Well....This is my 1st post in SgForum...
Never posted anything in there but have been reading SgForum for the past 6 mths...
Today I shall make an exception cos this thread is something close to my heart..
When a gal says "Dun be so good to me, I'm not worth it..." I strongly suggest u back off immediately...
I have the same exact encounter ....
A gal...whom i liked and pursued for 3 yrs....
she told me the exact same words 3 times... but i continue to pursue her relentlessly for 3 years...
during these 3 years...I did lotsa stuff for her ... Tried my best to be not only a good friend and a loving companion...etc.. hoping that she will change and give me a chance...
But in the end... nothing happens....instead my heart was shattered...due to the multiple wounds that i have received in these 3 yrs...
All my friends told me to not be so stubborn and be so nice to her.... friends who are close to me and know exactly the whole story... advises me to give up on her...still i ignore them...thinking that one day...i will melt her heart....
well...it never happens....all these while, the gal gave me mixed signals....and only come to me when she required help in any areas....to the extent of exploiting my feelings for her.....
No one will say No to helping the person they like.... so in the end, i became some sort of a handyman to a gal...whom i adored for 3 yrs and who keep on saying " Dun be so good to me.... I am not worth it"..
That's my experience so far...wonder how u make out of it..
I suggest that u go for it if u feel strongly for the gal....but do not be stubborn and think that u can melt a gals' heart with time....cos sometimes...it just doesn't work that way...... At the very least, u tried to pursue her...But if it doesn't work out....Take the fall graciously and heal...there are tons of gals out there and definitely there will be a suitable for u... -
Well...take ur time to recover my friend.....Originally posted by RaDian06:Sometimes im wondering, do guys like me or Zelphon deserve this kind of treatment? Do whatever the best for her for years, end up, what do we get, fren, sigh..............
Zelphon, im great to hear that you are moving on........ I really do.....
Im struggling, struggling to get myself up. This year birthday present is the biggest and the most surprise present I ever had in my whole life. Life sucks after all....................................
Good luck.... -
it cld b bcos,
she did really have been thru a bad past?
then tell u that she's not worth it...cos she's afraid u wld find flaws in her?
well, tis type of things, u nv try u'd nv know...
try to see if she's willing to open up to u and explain her reasons for saying so...
but if she's uncomfy, then dun push... -
Good luck,chap.=)Originally posted by kuckuc:Did the guy continue to approach you after you said that? -
Sometimes being very determine and not give up will hurt you. Just know when to stop and you will not get hurt. Cause some people don't deserve your love cause they never appreciate it.Originally posted by RaDian06:Sometimes im wondering, do guys like me or Zelphon deserve this kind of treatment? Do whatever the best for her for years, end up, what do we get, fren, sigh..............
Zelphon, im great to hear that you are moving on........ I really do.....
Im struggling, struggling to get myself up. This year birthday present is the biggest and the most surprise present I ever had in my whole life. Life sucks after all.................................... -
I think that you should ask yourself first. Once you confirm your decision, show her that it worth it.Originally posted by kuckuc:When a girl says... "Don't treat me so good, i no worth it..."
Is already an indirectly reject liao right...
Although I didn't really confess to her...
Really want to give up... please advice.. -
Thanks all for replying... nice thread.
Actually she just broke up with her bf a month+ ago... they been together like 3, 4 years? I know it's hard for her, coz friend told me she cried over it.
Maybe just like you said, she felt vulnerable & insecure... don't really want to trust anyone so easily. I don't know how to make sure, I can't really ask her, can I... just guessing. Perhaps like what alfagal said, don't push too hard... let the water flow by itself..?
Been trying to approach her since last June... I bet the 2 bro also put lotsa effort in it, so did i... well. If give up, it's very tiring to start all over again. Need time to recharge.
This year will be her 21st birthday soon, don't know wanna be like you bro, give her a big big surprise celebrating..
eight8: what do you mean by show her? how? -
Very familiar leh...
My wife's used to say that when me's courting her, but my wife meant that me's pampering her too much and spoiling her liao...
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What happened after she said that?Originally posted by dork3d:Very familiar leh...
My wife's used to say that when me's courting her, but my wife meant that me's pampering her too much and spoiling her liao... 
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After that arh...Originally posted by kuckuc:What happened after she said that?
Whenever we go out shopping or gai gai, me always the one holding her bag and all her shopping bags.. When at home, me do all the housechores and cooking lor... But me don't mind... Cos she helped me to tahan 10 months for our baby and all these can't compared to the pain and uncomfortable status she went through... -
Well....from all my guy's frds experiences....
NEVER EVER treat a gal too nice..
Gotta be harsh once in a while...
Love is like flying a kite....U pull too hard....the string will break...
U dun pull at all.....the kite will fly away...
So...gotta give and take bah....
I have come across 2 poetry that is full of wisdom...
Read on carefully word by word...
The Art of Letting Go
by Consrael
It's over. He's gone.
Why do we have to part while
the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry when
somebody bids goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet
only to lose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread,
poems left undone, songs left unsung,
love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.
In a relationship,
one of the hardest things to do
is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is as hard as breaking a crystal
because you'll never know when you
will be able to pick up the pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting:
it is they who stay behind that suffer,
because they are left
with memories of a love
that was meant to be,
a love that was.
At the beginning and at the end
of a relationship,
we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.
Unfair as it may seem,
but that's the way love goes.
That's the drama, the bittersweet
and the risk of falling in love.
After all, nothing is constant but change.
Everything will eventually come to its end
without us knowing when,
without us knowing how,
without us even knowing why.
And we must forget not because we have to
but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come
not as a single spy but in batallion.
It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do,
every song you hear,
every turn of your head,
every move of your body,
every beat of your heart,
every blink of your eye and every breath
you take always reminds you of him.
It's like a stab of a knife,
a torture in the night.
Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine,
there are billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely
and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art,
but letting go entails
special skills sparkled
with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes
a little push on our part.
Acceptance plays a part.
Not all love stories end with
"...and they live happily ever after."
Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would
mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to
temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end
like every dawn has its dusk.
It's something we can't control,
something we had to live up.
It's over.
He's gone. But life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time
where questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude and
promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.
Hope for the Broken Heart.....
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all you're love is never an assurance that they will love you back!
Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear it from, but don't be so deaf as to not hear it from the one who says it from his heart.
Never say goodbye if you still want to try-
Never give up if you still feel like you can go on-
Never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.
- To those who still hope, although they have been disappointed
- To those who still believe although they have been betrayed
- To those who still need to love although they have been hurt before
- And to those who have courage and faith to build trust again.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile-- it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Hope you dream of that special person.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person.
A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the only one who is smiling, and everyone around you is crying. Know that someone out there always loves you and cares for you, even in the worst times. Don't ever give up, even when you think you have nothing left to keep going.
Keep falling in Love........... -
Maybe you no money, thats why. If got money she sure say "Don't Leave Me"Originally posted by kuckuc:When a girl says... "Don't treat me so good, i no worth it..."
Is already an indirectly reject liao right...
Although I didn't really confess to her...
Really want to give up... please advice.. -
When you do something in hope of touching a girl's heart, do it with sincerity. Not with this thought at the back of your mind: I am doing all this for her, so one day she must return my feelings, only then it will be fair.Originally posted by RaDian06:Sometimes im wondering, do guys like me or Zelphon deserve this kind of treatment? Do whatever the best for her for years, end up, what do we get, fren, sigh..............
Zelphon, im great to hear that you are moving on........ I really do.....
Im struggling, struggling to get myself up. This year birthday present is the biggest and the most surprise present I ever had in my whole life. Life sucks after all....................................
Because once you have this thought, you will feel like it is unfair when she rejected you for someone else. You will feel that it is unfair why is it that you have done so much more for her yet she has never given you a place in her heart, and yet someone can just suddenly walk into her life and become her boyfriend the next day.
Love is something that cannot be forced. It is either there or not. Same goes for chemistry between two persons...if you choose to pursue a girl, do it sincerely and remember, it is your own willingness to wait for her. She didn't ask you to do that. So you cannot blame her when she does not choose you in the end.
So once rejected, stop thinking it is unfair and move on graciously while wishing her happiness...It is a big world out there after all, so you will meet someone who is for you one day -
sometimes its all about luck...being in the right place..at the right time...doing the right thing..
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Well...... whether it is day or night, sunny or cloudy, happy or sad, life goes on.................. hope for a better life and love in the future..........
Steven Chow (the actor n director in kungfu hustle and shaolin soccer) used to say this in one of his movie, "If u ask, u got 50-50%, if u nvr ask, it will always be 0%".
So, kuckuc, while u still not failing for her too deep, and if u r daring enough, giv her a big surprise celebrating. Do it for the sake of making her happy and with sincerity, like what rainee said. In the end of the day, u will feel happy too. I wish u all the best, my fren.
Oh ya..... whether successful or not, u will know it in the future. But one thing for sure, at least u done this b4, and when u recall back, it can be very funny and hilarious, wondering why u r stupid enough to do such a thing,
Hei, Zelphon, nice poetry,
Long weekend coming soon, time to go for a mind relaxing. Penang, here I come,
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Yup.Originally posted by rainee:Need to know when to give up when it is time to...Dun just limit yourself to someone who doesn't care as much as you care for him/her -
Deserves. Sometimes nobody ask you to give so much but you just blindly commit yourself... Other times people try to hook you up... And you just blindly believes it...Originally posted by RaDian06:Sometimes im wondering, do guys like me or Zelphon deserve this kind of treatment? Do whatever the best for her for years, end up, what do we get, fren, sigh..............
Zelphon, im great to hear that you are moving on........ I really do.....
Im struggling, struggling to get myself up. This year birthday present is the biggest and the most surprise present I ever had in my whole life. Life sucks after all....................................
Painful as facts might seems.... Sometimes there's no better way than to learn it the HARD way.... -
NICELY WRITTEN.Originally posted by rainee:When you do something in hope of touching a girl's heart, do it with sincerity. Not with this thought at the back of your mind: I am doing all this for her, so one day she must return my feelings, only then it will be fair.
Because once you have this thought, you will feel like it is unfair when she rejected you for someone else. You will feel that it is unfair why is it that you have done so much more for her yet she has never given you a place in her heart, and yet someone can just suddenly walk into her life and become her boyfriend the next day.
Love is something that cannot be forced. It is either there or not. Same goes for chemistry between two persons...if you choose to pursue a girl, do it sincerely and remember, it is your own willingness to wait for her. She didn't ask you to do that. So you cannot blame her when she does not choose you in the end.
So once rejected, stop thinking it is unfair and move on graciously while wishing her happiness...It is a big world out there after all, so you will meet someone who is for you one day
And GUYS, this is from a female's point of VIEW... HEED it WISELY... -
Yup.....I totally agree...Originally posted by rainee:When you do something in hope of touching a girl's heart, do it with sincerity. Not with this thought at the back of your mind: I am doing all this for her, so one day she must return my feelings, only then it will be fair.
Because once you have this thought, you will feel like it is unfair when she rejected you for someone else. You will feel that it is unfair why is it that you have done so much more for her yet she has never given you a place in her heart, and yet someone can just suddenly walk into her life and become her boyfriend the next day.
Love is something that cannot be forced. It is either there or not. Same goes for chemistry between two persons...if you choose to pursue a girl, do it sincerely and remember, it is your own willingness to wait for her. She didn't ask you to do that. So you cannot blame her when she does not choose you in the end.
So once rejected, stop thinking it is unfair and move on graciously while wishing her happiness...It is a big world out there after all, so you will meet someone who is for you one day
Love is not just about feelings...Time, Place and the Circumstances plays a vital role....
Just make sure your feelings are not exploited like me....
Before you really do put your heart into loving someone, make sure you do have some protection emotionally cos if it fails...it really hurts.. -
Married liao le....how?Originally posted by Devil1976:NICELY WRITTEN.
And GUYS, this is from a female's point of VIEW... HEED it WISELY...