i can't help but feeling sad
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I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache... perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost 10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being serious all the time. -
I believe all things take time to change, it all depends on whether you have the mindset and perseverance to make that change. Change is never easy, so it would be best to take it slowly. Open up abit, posting in this forum and getting to know more people is a good start.
Hmm.. I guess all of us have some past that we would rather not bring up, so maybe looking forward is the way to go.
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I get very confused when a new person come along. I feel bad when i push the person away but i will feel worse what if i hurt the person. Cos i did hurt someone before.. it just scarey to hurt unintentionally especially someone u care. Mayb i care too much.. maybe i shouldnt care which end up me being aloof and pretending that everything is alright..
i try to step out of the comfort zone being a volunteer, joing these and there. However, i still can't open myself up. In the end, i just hide myself with a smile but inside me im just nervous, insecure and in pain. -
Do you mind elaborating on what you mean by hurting people?
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Think of it in this way, by pushing that person away, you are hurting the person more than befriending the person.
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i can't love u back cos i am incapableOriginally posted by ^spidee^:Do you mind elaborating on what you mean by hurting people? -
ARE YOU THE CHIO TYPE AS WELL???Originally posted by skyliner_:I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache... perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost 10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being serious all the time. -
where is dat "don't feed the troll" sign?Originally posted by killstyle:ARE YOU THE CHIO TYPE AS WELL???
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I can't open mysel as easy as a normal person. i can't help but feel the butterflies in my stomache in a relationships. m insecure about myself. i love to hide myself. this is how i push the person away by pretending being uncaring or affectionately with them. i am a failure with relationships. I don't want a relationships. I don't want to hurt people. Sometime i want to be left alone but i really don't want to be left alone. life is an ironic and a jokeOriginally posted by BeEtHoVeN:Think of it in this way, by pushing that person away, you are hurting the person more than befriending the person. -
okay. i need to know what happened to u in the past.. if u dun mind sharing.Originally posted by skyliner_:I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache... perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost 10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being serious all the time.
i'm suspecting that u might be suffering from depersonalization disorder, one of the many trauma disorders.
before i touch more on this psychological disorder, i need to know what happened.. -
Is it due to low self-esteem? In order to love somebody else, I guess you have to learn to first love yourself. Feel good about yourself, take pride in doing what you do. People enter your life for a reason, just as you enter their lives for a reason.
Hmm, what are you insecure about? -
why? in what way does it has any connection to my postingOriginally posted by killstyle:ARE YOU THE CHIO TYPE AS WELL??? -
i have a not-so-high self-esteem. I don't know how to love myself so how to love others? i don't even remember there lovely-dovey feelings.Originally posted by ^spidee^:Is it due to low self-esteem? In order to love somebody else, I guess you have to learn to first love yourself. Feel good about yourself, take pride in doing what you do. People enter your life for a reason, just as you enter their lives for a reason.
Hmm, what are you insecure about?
I take pride in doing what i do and what i love but i can't shake there fence-up feelings within. I have these negative self-talks and insecurity feelings where i don't know where it comes from.
I know i haven't had the gut to the plunge into the unknown..
im lucky to have people who take care of me but i find myself unable to connect to them. I am willing to help others, protective over my loved ones but i can't give myself emotionally.
the best and real relationships come from having there emotional and psyche bonding. I don't really have there kind of bonding with many of my friends. -
wads your horoscope?
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I suppose it is something related to some bad past experiences that makes you unable to connect with people? Maybe you could try to be more optimistic about people and things around you? That way, you'll see the world in a better way and you'll be happier.Originally posted by skyliner_:i don't deny that i have a not-so-high self-esteem. I don't know how to love myself how to love others. i don't even remember there feelings. I take pride in doing what i do, what i love but i can shake there fence-up feelings within. I haven't had the gut to the plunge to the unknown.
im lucky to have people who take care of me but i find myself unable to connect to them. I am willing to help others but i can't give myself emotionally. It unfufilling. -
Refering to this: http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/depersonalization_disorder.htmOriginally posted by Gwangetto:okay. i need to know what happened to u in the past.. if u dun mind sharing.
i'm suspecting that u might be suffering from depersonalization disorder, one of the many trauma disorders.
before i touch more on this psychological disorder, i need to know what happened..
A feeling of detachment from, or being an outside observer of, one's mental processes or body occurs such as the sensation of being in a dream.. yeah i do feel there way. yeah i am Detached.
A lasting or recurring feeling of being detached from the patient's own body. hurhur it does occur often.
Throughout the experience, the patient knows this is not really the case. Reality experience is intact.
I know my attitude is cold but i am not a cold person .. jus not affectionate. so?
i don't know to say my past out here.. It went back so far ago.. it is meshed up with many things.
so do i have there disorder? I think it is okay to have there disorder cos we are all human and vulnerable. -
You are afraid.
Afraid that your inner sanctum that you so closely guarded is opened.
And you will be vulnerable then.
Once you opened your heart, you are not in full control anymore. you gave out part of your heart and is at the mercy of other, you fear betrayal, you are afraid you of hurt.
When is the last time you cried. -
oh...forgotten to add...
welcome to sgforums....new member please wait 5 minutes between each post for the first 20 post....
enjoy your stay here... -
I have forgotten how to be happy,being spontantous and cheerily.. this is the problem. i don't know how to begin with. furthermore i am stuck with the labelling of silent type with my recent friends further reinforce my beliefs.Originally posted by ^spidee^:I suppose it is something related to some bad past experiences that makes you unable to connect with people? Maybe you could try to be more optimistic about people and things around you? That way, you'll see the world in a better way and you'll be happier. -
OH YEA!!! IT TELLS ALOT. AS TO WHY YOU ARE STRONG AND SILENTOriginally posted by skyliner_:why? in what way does it has any connection to my posting
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i do not believe u qualify as someone who is suffering from this disorder. its more like a personality and chain of habits you developed over the years. you're used to pushing aside people's friendliness due to habit, than having the real desire to push people away.Originally posted by skyliner_:Refering to this: http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/depersonalization_disorder.htm
A feeling of detachment from, or being an outside observer of, one's mental processes or body occurs such as the sensation of being in a dream.. yeah i do feel there way. yeah i am Detached.
A lasting or recurring feeling of being detached from the patient's own body. hurhur it does occur often.
Throughout the experience, the patient knows this is not really the case. Reality experience is intact.
I know my attitude is cold but i am not a cold person .. jus not affectionate. so?
i don't know to say my past out here.. It went back so far ago.. it is meshed up with many things.
so do i have there disorder? I think it is okay to have there disorder cos we are all human and vulnerable.
its your personality, not depersonality that is causing you distress, therefore, not a disorder.
the more (forcefully) you try to change yrself, you're going to get a rebound and ended up worse than before. repression is never a cure; and u're not even sick in the first place.
little by little you improve, and friends do help. relax, and take these things at your own pace. -
i cried when i typed my 1st postin this thread. Now i feel better after crying. I cry easily esp when i am angry or super-sad.Originally posted by Magnus:You are afraid.
Afraid that your inner sanctum that you so closely guarded is opened.
And you will be vulnerable then.
Once you opened your heart, you are not in full control anymore. you gave out part of your heart and is at the mercy of other, you fear betrayal, you are afraid you of hurt.
When is the last time you cried.
but u are right, i am very afraid of the word hurt literally.
yeah 5 min btw posts are a blardy loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng wait. Not friendly-usage woh. -
im just frustrated with myself. If i never step out of it, i never get out of it.Originally posted by Ito_^:i do not believe u qualify as someone who is suffering from this disorder. its more like a personality and chain of habits you developed over the years. you're used to pushing aside people's friendliness due to habit, than having the real desire to push people away.
its your personality, not depersonality that is causing you distress, therefore, not a disorder.
the more (forcefully) you try to change yrself, you're going to get a rebound and ended up worse than before. repression is never a cure; and u're not even sick in the first place.
little by little you improve, and friends do help. relax, and take these things at your own pace.
Thank you people for the advises. -
hmm, if it helps, just pour your sorrows and thoughts in this forum, there are many capable people who can listen to you and guide you.. hope you'll not be so sad cos it's unhealthy too. all the best.
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HAven serve ns right?
cause after ns all will be diff