i can't help but feeling sad
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im very curious. Is there something wrong with ur keyboard?Originally posted by killstyle:OH YEA!!! IT TELLS ALOT. AS TO WHY YOU ARE STRONG AND SILENT
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im a ger..Originally posted by icYwATeR:HAven serve ns right?
cause after ns all will be diff
btw where can i find drama therapy or play therapy in singapore??? maybe can cure my condition. -
You have to have faith in people, you can start right here, in the forums.Originally posted by skyliner_:i cried when i typed my 1st postin this thread. Now i feel better after crying. I cry easily esp when i am angry or super-sad.
but u are right, i am very afraid of the word hurt literally.
yeah 5 min btw posts are a blardy loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng wait. Not friendly-usage woh.
Just think, if you are in love, you have to give ALL. It is a beautiful thing. But I think that scares the shet out of you rite?
Dun worry abt it. Just take your time.. -
R we talking about blind faith here? I usually have faith in the basic goodness of people but i don't faith in loving anyone else anymore or myself i think. So fearful of it, i already lose sight on how to do so.
yap take my time
Anyway thx. =) -
about personality disorders..Originally posted by skyliner_:im very curious. Is there something wrong with ur keyboard?
there is one. -
at least you can cry...Originally posted by skyliner_:i cried when i typed my 1st postin this thread. Now i feel better after crying. I cry easily esp when i am angry or super-sad.
but u are right, i am very afraid of the word hurt literally.
yeah 5 min btw posts are a blardy loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng wait. Not friendly-usage woh.
and im glad crying helps you... -
Hmm... Kinda like me in the past....?Originally posted by skyliner_:I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache... perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost 10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being serious all the time.
EXCEPT that now I'm really not that 'weak' from INSIDE...
And I can CHOOSE to ENJOY and SHARE joy and happiness IF I WANT TO....?
The 'theory' is rather simple... You got to think of ways to reach out for others... To communicate with others... Never mind how poorly you might 'score' at 1st... Never mind if you fail time and over again.... It's kinda like learning to ride a bicycle... You fall a few times and slowly you'll get the hang of it.... If you don't carry out concrete moves to REACH OUT.. You'll never learn how to 'ride your bicycle'... You'll only be thinking about 'how is it like to be riding a bicycle'.... -
You start by SMILING... And you CONTINUE by NOT necessarily being WHO people THINKS you ARE.... As you've said.. YOU are YOU... Just that you're not showing YOURSELF UP yet.....Originally posted by skyliner_:I have forgotten how to be happy,being spontantous and cheerily.. this is the problem. i don't know how to begin with. furthermore i am stuck with the labelling of silent type with my recent friends further reinforce my beliefs.
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I've oso forgotten how to be happy bcuz of some bad expeiencesOriginally posted by skyliner_:I have forgotten how to be happy,being spontantous and cheerily.. this is the problem. i don't know how to begin with. furthermore i am stuck with the labelling of silent type with my recent friends further reinforce my beliefs.
my approach is to burrow myself in work..u can tan get involve in other stuff and by not focusing on ur unhappiness,ur goign life about as usual and perhaps opening new doors to possiblities
anyway,i too haven cry for lyk...3 years until chinese new years[this year]
cheers
last piece might help...hang out with male friends..it helps bring about warm brotehrly warmth -
last piece might lead to more frustration and misery.Originally posted by olala:I've oso forgotten how to be happy bcuz of some bad expeiences
my approach is to burrow myself in work..u can tan get involve in other stuff and by not focusing on ur unhappiness,ur goign life about as usual and perhaps opening new doors to possiblities
anyway,i too haven cry for lyk...3 years until chinese new years[this year]
cheers
last piece might help...hang out with male friends..it helps bring about warm brotehrly warmth -
I'm a bit like you too, silent and detached. I'm still waiting for the right girl to come along and open me up.
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Hello, may i ask a question? Is this what you exactly desire?
You want to become a person who could cherish the other party and at the same time they return back by cherishing you?
*I do hope i use the word cherish correctly
Looks like I am in the same boat as you
You know, sometimes, the best way to cure emotions is yourself, even if you seek psychiatrict help, but if your heart is not there it wont be cured.
I know how it feels...like for example, I cant remain eye contact with others because, i fear that they may laugh or feel disgusted because of my ugly face.
Sometimes, you hide yourself in the nutshell, you keep everything to yourself, you feel very lonely, you wanted someone there to light you up.
So the best way is to open your heart, leave all your past mistakes, instead of depressing yourself, learn from them, build up your character.
Heres a song for you( Do hope it relates to you somehow...)
Cherish by ai otsuka
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC3vkYjLdHQ&search=cherish
the lyrics - translated
itsukaraka suteki Na koto wa
hitsuzen youshite dokoka O ushinatta
kokoro No tsunagari nor obiete
karada of umeyou to shita
fuan O gomakashita sounded mainichi No naka
anata wa soft atashi No kokoro No naka nor ita
I do not remember any more since how long
those which are formidable, by need
I lost some parts of them
I was so much afraid to have the psychological relation
that I tried to fill it by the body
I cheated, concern, during these days
you were already in my heart
moshimo futari fukaku omoetemo
itsuka koko of toki O oetemo
zutto atashi anata O aishite
you O nobashiteru to omoetano
if all two us aimont deeply
even if a day, here, one separates
I believed that I will lengthen the arm
by loving you for always
aijou wa nante mono kowai
nigetari motomeru will dakara
otona datoka kodomo datoka soft kankei naiyo
the love is so cruel
thus one flees and continues
there is nothing to see whether one is adult or child
marude hatsukoi mitai
unmei dato omoeru will kurai
daki aeba kanjiru
korehodo nor nai yumegoro
as if it were the first love
so much so that I believe that it is the destiny
I feel that when one tightens oneself
which happiness that this dream
moshimo futari deaenakereba
konna fuu nor waraenakatta
kotoshi ichiban shiawase nano wa
anata No soba nor ireta koto
if both we do not meet
I could not smile like that
this year, which is happiest
it is canto have been able to remain with you
moshimo futari fukaku omoete
itsuka koko of toki O oetemo
zutto atashi anata O aishite
you O nobashiteru to omoetano
if both like deeply
even if a day, here, one separates
I believed that I will lengthen the arm
by loving you for always -
Originally posted by skyliner_:I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache... perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost 10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being serious all the time.
Very vehement Saturn-influence in your life.
You are taking everything too personal, which probably fuel your seriousness to the maximum scale. Learn to release yourself from this tight incarcerated emotional jail and relax your soul. You can only allow spring to breeze through your life ONLY if you allow the bitter winter to conclude. It is a trade off - with your constant refusal to grow, move on and to brood on the unnecessary setbacks in life, what sort of 'you' can you envision yourself to be?
Cranky old woman that imprisoned herself to her past?
This is the root of problem - your inability to understand the circumstances of the past that enables you to pursue a better future. Instead, you use circumstances of the past to degenerate your future.
So what if you have hurt someone in the past? Have it occurs to you that it must have happen so that the person you hurt will grow from his injury and you grow from your action? If you do not see life as perpetual learning, you will grow to fear learning. To fear learning is fear to attempt and when you fear to attempt, your mind creates 'reasons' to avoid attempting.
In this way, you have failed to extract the exact lesson/s your karmic relationship wants you to comprehend and stagnation follows shortly.
It is OK to explore your soul and view all those unwanted past memories etched into our subconscious. You got to nurse whatever wounds you had previously and not packed them, like boxes, into the back of your mind and pretended that they never exist, for this idealism will shatter when realism slipped into your mind.
Open this 'skeleton in the cupboard' and face your nightmare directly. Challenge them psychologically and reflect upon the things you feared. Your mind may scream a warning as you attempt to retrieve those memories, but seriously, it isn't as bad as you think it would be. Be honest with yourself, with your past and be accepting on what that has happen.
You will come and understand that Love wants to teach you something; tap on higher wisdom to know what is it. Embrace the cosmic lesson and you could liberate yourself from being aloof when you discover new courage to steer you away from negativity and reborn into a better being.
Restore yourself; like Narnia, this winter is too lengthy. Seek to end your torment today.
Cheers -
u have to open yr heart and just have fun talking to yr friends, start with common interest, sports related or hardware stuff,
gain back yr confidence b'coz it is needed in the working world after all -
y so?Originally posted by Ito_^:last piece might lead to more frustration and misery.
when i got exhuasted and tired and angry after being rejected by a gal for so long,hanging otu with male friends help alot -
The fact that you posted here shows you aren't as cold/detached as you think you are.
You care about what you are feeling and you want to get out of it, it shows you want to change.
So that's a good start
You don't seem to be a bad communicator, and you aren't that far from what you want.
I'm like you in many ways, I'm a girl and also cannot connect with people easily, what I am and what people see me as are very different. So you're not alone. Well the only advice I can give is, find something that gives you a sense of self-confidence, like maybe taking long walks, or just doing something that you love the most, like some activity. Spend time with yourself and learn to love yourself, because it's pretty hard to come by people who will understand this kind of situation.
Eventually though you will find some people who will understand you properly.
So just hang on. You're not alone. -
scarly a guy might misunderstand and lead to relationship problems, den come here post about his hopeless crush on some gal who juz wanted to be friend.Originally posted by olala:y so?
when i got exhuasted and tired and angry after being rejected by a gal for so long,hanging otu with male friends help alot -
Haiyou... You care too much about what people think of you liao lar... SOTONG! It's good to care, but too much hor, really too.. cheem. First post very poetic leh..
*switches back to english* The first thing, is not to think so much. Be happy! I'm sure you are still a young teenage girl and have a great deal of life ahead of you. Maybe you could go volunteering at some elderly services somewhere? Or SPCA? Or children's society. Children are just so adorable, they give out smiles so easily.. and they are carefree and naive. They give out smiles so freely... In this society, we have become rather kiasu leh... Elderly are nice too, but some of the males... =_= Cheekopek. Pets too. Lovely...
This could serve to be rather therapic (How to spell?)... Theraphy? Therapy? Theraupic? Therapic? -
My percetion of love changed ever sinceOriginally posted by Magnus:You have to have faith in people, you can start right here, in the forums.
Just think, if you are in love, you have to give ALL. It is a beautiful thing. But I think that scares the shet out of you rite?
Dun worry abt it. Just take your time..
its for the weak minded -
Originally posted by olala:My percetion of love changed ever since
its for the weak minded
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it might be a blessing to be weak.Originally posted by olala:My percetion of love changed ever since
its for the weak minded -
Well, your preception will change again.Originally posted by olala:My percetion of love changed ever since
its for the weak minded
Unless you stop moving on where you are.
I'm not saying you are wrong.
There's no ultimate definition just experiences.
Weak or strong minded, all needs love.
Good or bad, right, wrong it's still love. -
sometimes i feel sad too...but don't think about it
i usually forget all sadness (if not too serious) after a night's sleep -
I like what u say the bicycle anology. Tried, fail, hurt, rise up and try again..Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... Kinda like me in the past....?
EXCEPT that now I'm really not that 'weak' from INSIDE...
And I can CHOOSE to ENJOY and SHARE joy and happiness IF I WANT TO....?
The 'theory' is rather simple... You got to think of ways to reach out for others... To communicate with others... Never mind how poorly you might 'score' at 1st... Never mind if you fail time and over again.... It's kinda like learning to ride a bicycle... You fall a few times and slowly you'll get the hang of it.... If you don't carry out concrete moves to REACH OUT.. You'll never learn how to 'ride your bicycle'... You'll only be thinking about 'how is it like to be riding a bicycle'....
if only in matters of the heart it is there easy... Dealings thing alone are one of the hardest.
People like us, are hard to understand properly and are often misunderstand easily cos we seldom speak our honest feelings straight out. cos we are fearful and have difficulty accepting with ourselves.
I tried to be a volunteer and joining the activites but to no vail. I can't connect with people easily. It all come with the heart.. within myself to make there change. It's hard cos my heart, once hurt take long long time to heal.
Im glad to find some of the forumers aso feel there way too. at least i know im not alone and im grateful for the advices given by the forumers... at least i know some cares... -
I used to be 'people like us'....Originally posted by skyliner_:I like what u say the bicycle anology. Tried, fail, hurt, rise up and try again..
if only in matters of the heart it is there easy... Dealings thing alone are one of the hardest.
People like us, are hard to understand properly and are often misunderstand easily cos we seldom speak our honest feelings straight out. cos we are fearful and have difficulty accepting with ourselves.
I tried to be a volunteer and joining the activites but to no vail. I can't connect with people easily. It all come with the heart.. within myself to make there change. It's hard cos my heart, once hurt take long long time to heal.
Im glad to find some of the forumers aso feel there way too. at least i know im not alone and im grateful for the advices given by the forumers... at least i know some cares... Sometimes you should understand that the impression you're giving to people is just not who you are... And you can't really blame them as you're just to showing it... Nor need you blame yourself as that probably won't help much too...?
I know this would be said easier than done... But you just need to open yourself up... Start from one person to another person... From one way to another.... Once ya get the hang of it, things would be different... Like the bicycle's analogy, you'll just have to start somewhere somehow.... Or you can just wake up tomorrow... The day after tomorrow.... And etc... And still find yourself not knowing how to ride a bicycle...
"Greatest fears should not be when you make mistakes and bump walls.. Greatest fears should be when you've deprived yourself of a chance to walk beyond those walls..."