Does your gf impose curfew ?
-
Hello.
My gf of 4 months is kind of sticky to some extent but she's slowly letting go. She told me she has this ex-schoolmate gathering, ex-classmates from her poly next week. And so i told her it will be good time for me to have a gathering with my own guy buddies.
The problem is that she wants me home by 10.30pm .. i ask why. She said 'Dunno. I just dun like my bf to stay out late. Usually I will reach home at 10.30pm so i wan my bf to do same.'
I tried explaining nicely to her that respect in a r/ship comes from giving each other space. I hardly had a all-guys gathering since like more than a year already. She tell me 'Why have all guys gathering ? I dun even have all-girls gathering'
I meet her almost 5 days a week. On days I dun meet her, we stick on phone chat a lot.
I asked her what if I need to work late or study my degree part-time ? got curfew ? Then she said 'no of course not la.. cos work and study need time.'
The i reminded her that she did tell me one thing b4 .. that she wants me to be happy and enjoy life. I told her you keep saying that but u just cannot let me have a decent gathering with my buddies. I dun like to be treated like a small kid. How to be happy when i have to keep looking at my watch ?
I tried 'bargaining' for 11pm but she refuse.
There was once she did come home late when she went pubbing with her gal fren. I reminded her about that incident and asked for explaination since she wants me to be home at 10.30pm. She was stumped.
But she refuse to give in. She refuse to see my point of view.
She doesnt keep in contact with her frens mostly due to her work schedule. But now that she is changing job with a regular office hr she will soon be able to meet up her frens. And I hope she will meet her frens more often so she will not 'tie me up' and also not be such a 'frog in the well' .. cos she keeps thinking she is right. She basically imposes her set of principles on me and expect me to follow.
Any suggestions on how to resolve this ?
Thanks -
i am suddenly into this kind of stuff...what are your horoscopes?
-
i dont have a girlfriend.
-
Guy : geminiOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:i am suddenly into this kind of stuff...what are your horoscopes?
Gal : libra -
Don'tOriginally posted by dragg:i dont have a girlfriend. -
hmm...technically...you two are a good match...
you as a gemini hate to be tied down by constrictions and rules..therefore you obviously don't like having a curfew set on you...
as a libra...your girlfren should be diplomatic and modern...therefore by right she shouldn't restrict you on staying out late...however...a libra might be easily influenced by people around her and thus might be the cause of the sudden lack of trust...pherhaps being a diploma is the same reason as why she feel if she can go home at 10.30pm...you should do the same too...
good news is...a gemini is well versed in talking their way out of difficult situations and a libra is inclined to compromising sometimes for the sake of the relationship...
conclusion - talk to her nicely about it...i am sure you will get a decision somewhere... -
jus bear with it... no gf, life sucks OK
-
That's why I no gf
-
totally agree...Originally posted by Alleycat:Don't -
another case of giving in too much.Originally posted by Alleycat:Hello.
My gf of 4 months is kind of sticky to some extent but she's slowly letting go. She told me she has this ex-schoolmate gathering, ex-classmates from her poly next week. And so i told her it will be good time for me to have a gathering with my own guy buddies.
The problem is that she wants me home by 10.30pm .. i ask why. She said 'Dunno. I just dun like my bf to stay out late. Usually I will reach home at 10.30pm so i wan my bf to do same.'
I tried explaining nicely to her that respect in a r/ship comes from giving each other space. I hardly had a all-guys gathering since like more than a year already. She tell me 'Why have all guys gathering ? I dun even have all-girls gathering'
I meet her almost 5 days a week. On days I dun meet her, we stick on phone chat a lot.
I asked her what if I need to work late or study my degree part-time ? got curfew ? Then she said 'no of course not la.. cos work and study need time.'
The i reminded her that she did tell me one thing b4 .. that she wants me to be happy and enjoy life. I told her you keep saying that but u just cannot let me have a decent gathering with my buddies. I dun like to be treated like a small kid. How to be happy when i have to keep looking at my watch ?
I tried 'bargaining' for 11pm but she refuse.
There was once she did come home late when she went pubbing with her gal fren. I reminded her about that incident and asked for explaination since she wants me to be home at 10.30pm. She was stumped.
But she refuse to give in. She refuse to see my point of view.
She doesnt keep in contact with her frens mostly due to her work schedule. But now that she is changing job with a regular office hr she will soon be able to meet up her frens. And I hope she will meet her frens more often so she will not 'tie me up' and also not be such a 'frog in the well' .. cos she keeps thinking she is right. She basically imposes her set of principles on me and expect me to follow.
Any suggestions on how to resolve this ?
Thanks
soon she will climb over your head...
either you put your feet down or else she will be imposing more rules to her advantage... -
I dunno issit PMS that she refuse to let go of the curfew thing. haha.. But if she really insist on this curfew thing.. i am going to be stubborn as well. Cant be bothered to be bogged down by her unreasonable request.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:hmm...technically...you two are a good match...
you as a gemini hate to be tied down by constrictions and rules..therefore you obviously don't like having a curfew set on you...
as a libra...your girlfren should be diplomatic and modern...therefore by right she shouldn't restrict you on staying out late...however...a libra might be easily influenced by people around her and thus might be the cause of the sudden lack of trust...pherhaps being a diploma is the same reason as why she feel if she can go home at 10.30pm...you should do the same too...
good news is...a gemini is well versed in talking their way out of difficult situations and a libra is inclined to compromising sometimes for the sake of the relationship...
conclusion - talk to her nicely about it...i am sure you will get a decision somewhere...
Been talking nicely already. A lot nicer last night.. but if she wanna control me.. sorry man.. no can do. -
You're 27 and how old is she...? I think you need to have some good talking with her... Like some 'negoitiation' thing... Some talks so that the relationship can go smoother and longer...Originally posted by Alleycat:I dunno issit PMS that she refuse to let go of the curfew thing. haha.. But if she really insist on this curfew thing.. i am going to be stubborn as well. Cant be bothered to be bogged down by her unreasonable request.
Been talking nicely already. A lot nicer last night.. but if she wanna control me.. sorry man.. no can do. -
looks like something scary is about to happen...
-
will go mortal kombat anot
-
go join each other's outings/gatherings lah ........
no curfews needed when two are together
-
she's 24 this year. i find it surprising that with her long string of experience in r/ship with her ex-bf.. she still dunno what guys want..Originally posted by Devil1976:You're 27 and how old is she...? I think you need to have some good talking with her... Like some 'negoitiation' thing... Some talks so that the relationship can go smoother and longer...
Then again, thats why her bfs left her i guess.
Trying to talk.. but she really has thick skull -
You already moved to the point on why her ex-bf left her liao... not healthy you knowOriginally posted by Alleycat:she's 24 this year. i find it surprising that with her long string of experience in r/ship with her ex-bf.. she still dunno what guys want..
Then again, thats why her bfs left her i guess.
Trying to talk.. but she really has thick skull -
Sorry, just feeling lousy.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:You already moved to the point on why her ex-bf left her liao... not healthy you know -
i hardly see my guy once a week due to his work... always haf to depend on his timetable... tried to go home as late as 12+ am b'cuz its so hard to date wif him. i wouldnt even dare to gif him curfew.Originally posted by Alleycat:I dunno issit PMS that she refuse to let go of the curfew thing. haha.. But if she really insist on this curfew thing.. i am going to be stubborn as well. Cant be bothered to be bogged down by her unreasonable request.
Been talking nicely already. A lot nicer last night.. but if she wanna control me.. sorry man.. no can do.
some people are jus too "xin fu" to see their love 5 days a week. -
one other thing.. she is influenced by the shows she watch. Guess I have to be the Board of Censor now.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:hmm...technically...you two are a good match...
you as a gemini hate to be tied down by constrictions and rules..therefore you obviously don't like having a curfew set on you...
as a libra...your girlfren should be diplomatic and modern...therefore by right she shouldn't restrict you on staying out late...however...a libra might be easily influenced by people around her and thus might be the cause of the sudden lack of trust...pherhaps being a diploma is the same reason as why she feel if she can go home at 10.30pm...you should do the same too...
good news is...a gemini is well versed in talking their way out of difficult situations and a libra is inclined to compromising sometimes for the sake of the relationship...
conclusion - talk to her nicely about it...i am sure you will get a decision somewhere... -
Thats why i tell her to count her blessings. I dun even have time to do my own house chores at times. My sis never helps as well.Originally posted by elektra:i hardly see my guy once a week due to his work... always haf to depend on his timetable... tried to go home as late as 12+ am b'cuz its so hard to date wif him. i wouldnt even dare to gif him curfew.
some people are jus too "xin fu" to see their love 5 days a week.
At times i wonder if she is really the gal. The last time i tried breaking up with her, she stood on the window ledge of her 7th floor flat unit threatening to jump if i leave her.
So tell me what to do ? Suffer continuously in silence or (if there is really no choice) break up ? -
did so already. this is just one of the really rare 'no bf no gf' outings and she impose curfew..Originally posted by InnoHippo:go join each other's outings/gatherings lah ........
no curfews needed when two are together
She often tell me when she go home got no one at home she feel sian. She only always think of herself. I tried telling her, then she threaten to break up out of spite.
Then if i really break up, she'd continue to hound me night n day.. even threaten to kill herself (see previous post above).. basically i am stuck.
I wan to work things out but she is too stubborn.. often use emotional blackmail.. -
ah... Yunhaier can offer some insights n suggestions.Originally posted by Alleycat:Thats why i tell her to count her blessings. I dun even have time to do my own house chores at times. My sis never helps as well.
At times i wonder if she is really the gal. The last time i tried breaking up with her, she stood on the window ledge of her 7th floor flat unit threatening to jump if i leave her.
So tell me what to do ? Suffer continuously in silence or (if there is really no choice) break up ?
sorry i duno wat to do also... -
Give you a curfew? Does she think she is your mum?
I doubt your mother even gives you a curfew. Maybe you can ask her that question
I guess you can tell her that you will try to be back by 10.30pm but no promises or anything
Seriously I have no idea why some girls like to impose dumb rules on their guy. Something which I cannot explain. Maybe she had some kind of bad past experience where her ex cheated on her while staying out late or something. -
Hi Elindra, i did whatever u mentioned already last night. To best of my knowledge, its sheer insecurity. But she is insecure + Stubborn. Thats what makes it worse.Originally posted by elindra:Give you a curfew? Does she think she is your mum?
I doubt your mother even gives you a curfew. Maybe you can ask her that question
I guess you can tell her that you will try to be back by 10.30pm but no promises or anything
Seriously I have no idea why some girls like to impose dumb rules on their guy. Something which I cannot explain. Maybe she had some kind of bad past experience where her ex cheated on her while staying out late or something.