A sad thing in life is to meet someone who means a lot to u, only to find out in the end dat it was nv meant to be.
I am in a r/s for 5yrs, and we are planning to register for ROM this June.
Actually last yr, we nearly broke up. Because I found out that he had been cheating behind me for months.
Due to his pleas and promises, I decided to stay on, because I am too attached to him. We stay together and my life revolves all around him. How am I going to survive without him?
If he had not cheated on me, I will feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world, because I am getting married. But now I just felt that we are getting married for the sake of marrying; as everyone around is anticipating for this rightful day to arrive.
However, I met A, he was my ex-colleague. My contract just ended (temp job) and now everyday I am thinking of him... I tried to refrain myself from doing so, but the more I try, the more I think of him.
Maybe it's an infatuation.
At work, we rarely talk, even during lunch time. The weirdess thing is I dare not have direct eye contact with him. The moment I look into his eyes, I felt very awkward and uneasy. Is that a sign of in love?
I can't really recollect when and how this starts.
At work, he is really nice to me. even we seldom chat, most of the time our communications is abt work.
He is very attentive to needs. Like pulling a chair for me when mine is taken up, volunteered to run little errands that he shouldn't be doing... eg. scanning documents on my behalf as i am new to that environment. He's a great help at work, with him around, I will never get bulllied or pushed around by others.
When I was seriously down with a fever and flu + cough, he will msg m telling me to take care and must rest more, sleep early, drink more water....
I admitted I was touched... cuz my bf whom i m staying with, don't even bother at all.
A is also very observant. He notices my attires and asked if my wardrobe only consists of dark coloured clothings. I laughed.... There was once during lunch, he complimented me on the way i hold the chopsticks... I blushed... I was like huh??
He buys me lozenges everyday to soothen my coughs and is like shielding me from all dangers and difficulties. I can't help falling into it.
My last week at work, my bf was deployed for an overseas business trip for a week.
I meet up with A twice, for dinner and the other for supper.
Cuz i knew that we will never have the chance again.... when my bf is back.
He knew that I have a bf, and I told him abt my ROM, because I do not want to lead him on or to toyed with his feelings. He seemed shocked and distraughted.
In MSN, I confessed to him that I like him.. and it was terrible that instead of missing my bf whom at the point of time was abroad, my mind was preoccupied with A. I never thought that i will like another person other than my significant other, and moreover within such a such period of 2 months.
I knew I shouldn't fall in love with him, but I just can't help it.
A didn't make any confession until when i asked him through MSN, because, face to face, we avoided talking abt r/s....
Now, I or rather we are merely waiting for my ROM day to come.......
But from the scenarios as stated above, is A really interested in me? Or is it that I am over-sensitive... because my 5yrs r/s lacks of the care and concern since it's already 5yrs; most of the things my bf already take for granted. That's why I am so drawn towards A?
I am going abit crazy thinking of A and my present r/s. Should I get married for the sake of marrying or should I get free?
Maybe my feelings for A is an infatuation.........
But as what A advised me, if i were to make a decision, I am making it for myself and future. Not because of his existence... He even says that we may not be suitable. Is he backing off because he doesn't want to get involved in this mess?
But i can't stop thinking of him day and nite. The feeling is really undescribable.
only.