sick and tired of giving in
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I was once like you. I treated her as a princess too. I understand how you feel. the feeling is like you love her so much but you cannot stand her behaviour. Is easy for others to say be a man let go but is hard for people like us to do it becos we took so much time and effort for the ones we love.Originally posted by ducktan:i treat her like a princess. give in to her when quarrel. but she, everytime when we quarrel, she never fails to break her promises. she promised not to keep quiet. promised not to be so attitude. but when i tell her that she broke her promises, she will reply a ' SO? ' then i also have got nothing to say. there are times when we quarrel till very jialat i will suddenly give in and apologize. then she will then admit her mistakes and promise not to repeat. but again and again she repeats them. i know she loves me. but she doesn't show she that she treasures me. i'm really tired of giving in to her. but if i don't do so, i'm afraid that i will lose her. very afraid. now we have just quarreled. and the same thing repeats itself. i told her recently that this is the last chance i give her to prove that she treasures me. but just now. she just don't want to reply. hang the phone. and i said i wanted a break. she just cry. complains that i don't love her. and i have to call her again and again. people please tell me what to do? i don't want to be the one always to give in. i don't want her attitude and she always breaking her promises. lastly, i don't want to lose her.
thanks for reading. sincere replies please
usually the ending will go 3 ways.
a) she will dump you, sadly if the girl finds another stronger, better, or richer guy usually she will go. think it in a positive way the faster she go the less suffering you need to suffer and will show what kind of girl she is.
b) you will dump her, usually this takes years to happen, The shouting, screaming and crying will soon take is toll on you, soon you ask yourself why are you doing so much for her. The feeling is like, suddenly you feel sick and tired of sending her around or giving in to her. Looking at her will only feel very sianz..The feeling in you will grow and soon you find yourself looking at other girls and chatting with them.
c) The happy ending. Thats what you will hope for. Less crying, shouting and screaming. but for this to happen something bad must happen to her for her to treasure you.
just want to say this, no matter what happens just do you best. If you feel that you have done enough then is time to let go. Do not be too hard on yourself. If your gf do not treasure you some other girls will, but you must be willing to give other girls a chance. -
sad case.. hahah but i think is better for you to break off la... i mean short term pain is better then long term one huh..
anyway/..
there are many fishes in the pond!!!!
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*looks and sees body parts n chunks of flesh strewn across the bloody field*Originally posted by mistyblue:Take no prisoners! Bullets are cheap!
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i dun think you should give in to her anymore. she thinks that you are weak and easily stepped over. she knows that you love her alot and so she is taking advantage of you. you are her bf and yet she treats you in this manner. i bet she doesn't treat her friends like that. so why is she treating her bf like that? maybe you could talk things out with her.
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why dont you just short term break up for the time being to think carefully whether to continue it or not . If you really feel sicked and tired over this relationship really suggest that you just give it out no matter how much you love her and see what she react because u dont even happy when you are in relationship with her . Dont make urself suffer huh? Just did ur best for her as a bf standpoint
If she look for another bf in no times after short term break up then ur decision is Correct . Conclusion is she doesn't even love or treasure you.Just move on ur life !
Even if she comes back looking back to you , i think the relationship is dead as the feeling for her is not as strong as before.(even if im wrong u will be hurt again)
As she doesn't even keep her promises and always use the 'break up' to make you lose out in the quarrel.
Thats really hurt everytime u heard ur loved one asking for break up after quarrel .
If you really break up with her , i think you will be more happily in the future although the healing days is really hard to pass but after you did it , you will be another Happy Man
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Put up or shut up.
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A relationship is supposed to work both ways. To make it work, both sides must learn to give and take at times.
If this girl thinks that 'give and take' means that she can take everything from you and expect you to always give in to her, then I say forget it. Dump the girl unceremoniously and move on with your life.
If she doesn't have the maturity to realise that she is not the greatest thing since sliced bread, then it's a mistake to be in a relationship with her. The only good thing is that you don't have to live with this mistake - so dump her!
And have no regrets about dumping her at all. As the cliche goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea, and there are many other girls who are far more mature in their thinking. -
first relationship?
well, all girls are like that de la. i used to be like your girlfriend too ar...
then i grew up.
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Dun over concern for her larh i know it is ur 1st time and u are kancheong right? Dun Worry lar nth will happen deh
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My ex used to be like that but slightly worse. I always give in to her and admit my mistakes but she has never apologised to me, not even one word of "sorry".
Anyway, since you have broken up with her already, take time off to rethink and reflect your relationship with her. If you still like her, you ought to try pursuing her again. But believe me, it will be a tough chase.
I agree with what most of the other people say: She will never change her character and don't expect her to change for you too if you get back with her again. That's just who she is. If you really love her for who she is in the first place, you ought to accept her attitude and character as it is.
Think about it. All the best. -
I am a saggi too similar as the threadstarter,i have encounter this type of problem before,i think there are lots of gers outside,a relationship require 2 hands to clap,yes it true that guys should give in to gers but if too often,it meaningless to carry on,u yourself will not be happy n a relationship is suppose to make everyone happy.
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The problem my friend is that you are too needy and fearful. And your gf seems to know this judging from the various events shown in your post. If you can grow a backbone and stand up to what you think is equal treatment instead of always giving in to her then there is a chance things will turn out for the better. On the flip side a break up might happen and you have to judge for yourself whether is that a lot worse than what you are experiencing now? -
Giving in is in itselfnot a bad thing if you can. Once you cannot then don't give in anymore. If it leads to a brakup then so be it.
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ur first sentence suggest that u r a slave for her and she treats u as one..
u canÂ’t always be the one who is giving in all the time..
thatÂ’s so unfair..
I think itÂ’s time for u to break up with her..
Even if u dun, sheÂ’ll dump u anyway..
u definitely deserve better gals.. -
you are a good man!!
man is like that...cos you love her...thats why u will bao rong her everything...sometimes we have to strike a balance lah... i mean bao rong still must bao rong lor...if u really love her...then you have accept it...not tolerate it lor...
i remembered listening to 93.3 and ling zhi said something like that.." ai is jie shou and not ren shou"
and 1 thing that i always think that humans always makes mistakes in...they presumably try to change someone that they love so that this someone that they love become what they want him/her to be...
Ëý¾�ÊÇËý...thats what i always feel...human change have to come deep from themselves...and not under the pressure of other people...its how you gonna make her realise that her actions hurt you and not trying to forcefuly change her lor... -
Maybe...Originally posted by pingsquare:you are a good man!!
man is like that...cos you love her...thats why u will bao rong her everything...sometimes we have to strike a balance lah... i mean bao rong still must bao rong lor...if u really love her...then you have accept it...not tolerate it lor...
i remembered listening to 93.3 and ling zhi said something like that.." ai is jie shou and not ren shou"
and 1 thing that i always think that humans always makes mistakes in...they presumably try to change someone that they love so that this someone that they love become what they want him/her to be...
Ëý¾�ÊÇËý...thats what i always feel...human change have to come deep from themselves...and not under the pressure of other people...its how you gonna make her realise that her actions hurt you and not trying to forcefuly change her lor...
Ling Zhi painted a lopsided picture of a relationship. Not wrong. It's...just not complete. -
Hmm...
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i think you should be a bit jack a** and be proud of yourself that you have stayed with her for a long time for now.
the next time she gives you attitude, you have to be a jack a**, remind her of something which she did wrong in the past, like having to make you wait in for an hour or so, in the sun or rain, which cause you to be sick and things like that.
the idea is to make ur gf feel guilty and feel bad that she did that to you in the past, then she will be the one saying sorry etc..
your situation is the same as my other fren, just that i heard his story, and this is what he told me, this method should work on her, next time just repeat old things to her..it will work i suppose..
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Decided to register after i read this. Really felt moved into writing my mind here.
I'm really once just like you no joke. Almost exactly the same. Pardon me for saying this but do you feel like you have no dignity and your world belongs and revolves around Her? You feel like without her you will die? If your answer to the above is yes, then read on...
I understand your pain and torture. Its really tough having such a gf. Initially i was like 'what the heck, if i love her i should put up with it'. But as days gone by, I realize she was starting to love me lesser and lesser. Not because of a third party, but because in Her eyes, I was such a loser who had no dignity. Always saying sorry and giving in when its not my fault. She even said i was useless. At that moment i woke up. But it was too late, she dumped me...
Let her go now, the pain will be much much lesser than if you wait till the day she dumps you. She will dump you, i'm 80% sure. Because i've gone through it before. Read on.
Sorry to say this, but please behave like a man. The other good alternative is to let her go, and let her find her happiness. It may sound like a drama line but this is the best way to make yourself feel better. Try to stay away from her for a few days and get used to days without her. At first it will be terrible. You will be wondering what she is doing etc...But give yourself some time. If one week can't do it, one month can. That's what i did, i used to think it was impossible to do without her, but I did it. See, even a weakling like me can do it. You can too. Everyone can - No-one can't live without anybody. Remember this and you will be a Happy Man.
Believe me, for i have gone through it before. :] -
my advice: dun take shit from a gal like this. can treat her like a princess but unless u are a wimp dun take any shit from such gals.Originally posted by ducktan:i treat her like a princess. give in to her when quarrel. but she, everytime when we quarrel, she never fails to break her promises. she promised not to keep quiet. promised not to be so attitude. but when i tell her that she broke her promises, she will reply a ' SO? ' then i also have got nothing to say. there are times when we quarrel till very jialat i will suddenly give in and apologize. then she will then admit her mistakes and promise not to repeat. but again and again she repeats them. i know she loves me. but she doesn't show she that she treasures me. i'm really tired of giving in to her. but if i don't do so, i'm afraid that i will lose her. very afraid. now we have just quarreled. and the same thing repeats itself. i told her recently that this is the last chance i give her to prove that she treasures me. but just now. she just don't want to reply. hang the phone. and i said i wanted a break. she just cry. complains that i don't love her. and i have to call her again and again. people please tell me what to do? i don't want to be the one always to give in. i don't want her attitude and she always breaking her promises. lastly, i don't want to lose her.
thanks for reading. sincere replies please -
If u already feel tire there is no use being together anymore since the relationship will not last.
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hi... we are both in the same boat... my gf is treating almost the same like u right now...Originally posted by ducktan:i treat her like a princess. give in to her when quarrel. but she, everytime when we quarrel, she never fails to break her promises. she promised not to keep quiet. promised not to be so attitude. but when i tell her that she broke her promises, she will reply a ' SO? ' then i also have got nothing to say. there are times when we quarrel till very jialat i will suddenly give in and apologize. then she will then admit her mistakes and promise not to repeat. but again and again she repeats them. i know she loves me. but she doesn't show she that she treasures me. i'm really tired of giving in to her. but if i don't do so, i'm afraid that i will lose her. very afraid. now we have just quarreled. and the same thing repeats itself. i told her recently that this is the last chance i give her to prove that she treasures me. but just now. she just don't want to reply. hang the phone. and i said i wanted a break. she just cry. complains that i don't love her. and i have to call her again and again. people please tell me what to do? i don't want to be the one always to give in. i don't want her attitude and she always breaking her promises. lastly, i don't want to lose her.
thanks for reading. sincere replies please -
Bear with it until it dawns upon you the great appeal and wisdom of having paid social companions of the opposite sex. Then will you realise that everything else in a relationship is overrated.
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Since things are already so serious for both of you. I would strongly recommend a very stern conversation for both of you. Either say it, or end it kind of thing.
Things u have to ask her and youself
-Who started the relationship?
- Why u start this relationship?
- Then u need to seriously talk to her about her problems. and remember ALWAYS remind her that you are really in love with her and you just want this relationship to be better, you want to change her flaws. so she could be a better 1 for you. It is not that you do not like her current self. but she got some aspects of her life she must improve on. Reliability, Trustworthiness and her attitude. Have a good talk with her
- DO not ever hesitate to reveal your unhappiness and your frustration. but express it in a professional way. For example. Dear, you remember that time, u promise me not to be late anymore?, then last week u late for 1 hour, i as your bf will certainly wait for you, but if u nt late, we could have done so much thing, we could have bought more things n played more things etc. Do not turn to a aggressive stance, always stay close n emotional
Things to bring for conversation
- Tissue. LOTS of them
All the best bro. Hope my Suggestion is useful to you
Corebooster
IRevolutionXI -
The problem is that you are treating her like a goddess. That's why you are never her equal and she's taking you for granted.
You have your rights. It's ok for you to walk away and scold her if she's wrong. Do not let her step all over you. Treat just like how you would treat a normal person, not some Goddess.
Step back and think. Life's better without a gf like that isn't it?
Remember, you have your rights. It's like a country's sovereignty. Bend over and you will not be treated as an equal anymore.