Relationship flop
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i think i'm a flop when it comes to handling relationships. when i'm single, im happy, always smiling, carefree and easily contented.
but when im involved with someone, i become bitter, always sad, and always having a sinking feeling inside me. no im not saying that i do not enjoy being in relationships, but its just that i cannot help it but feel over-sensitive over little little things that she did, or even things that she did not do.
for example, if she sends me sms during her lunch time everyday for 3 days but failed to do so in the 4th day, then i'll get over-sensitive and think up all sorts of reasons
i know, this is a very trivial matter, and most of you will be able to dismiss it as nothing, but i just cannot control it. just like you cannot control your mind to stop missing somebody. if it were so easy, then the world would be at peace liao..
also, whenever i read abt guys complaining that their gfs are controlling them too tightly and that they have no freedom, somehow or rather, i envy them quietly. i think im strange. i like my gf to sms/call me a lot, to tell me to not to go out with other girls etc.
what a flop. anybody behaves the same way as me? if yes, how u handle it? -
U are insecure neh.
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im behave da same way , same
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control urself. prevent urself from doing this kind of dumb things.
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I think ur the type who thinks the world of your gf. Find a gf who is that type
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Me too, I always have the same feeling as you. Can't do much though I would say. If she doesn't sms you, then you sms her!
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My case is similar to yours. Just that i've never been in a relationship before. In my case, i feel that you can't actually handle it. I too, feels extremely sensitive when she doesent message me continuously for the 4th day. I would get extremely uncomfortable when i look at her and she did'nt look back. I guessed, if you can. Try to find something else to do on your own, get her out of your mind for awhile. My friend gave me a video to watch when i consulted her. Which turns out to be quite effective.
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I think deep down, you really are insecure. But that's normal. Its hard for Singaporean guys like us to find security these days. Singapore is just too messed up for us guys.Originally posted by jeramy:i think i'm a flop when it comes to handling relationships. when i'm single, im happy, always smiling, carefree and easily contented.
but when im involved with someone, i become bitter, always sad, and always having a sinking feeling inside me. no im not saying that i do not enjoy being in relationships, but its just that i cannot help it but feel over-sensitive over little little things that she did, or even things that she did not do.
for example, if she sends me sms during her lunch time everyday for 3 days but failed to do so in the 4th day, then i'll get over-sensitive and think up all sorts of reasons
i know, this is a very trivial matter, and most of you will be able to dismiss it as nothing, but i just cannot control it. just like you cannot control your mind to stop missing somebody. if it were so easy, then the world would be at peace liao..
also, whenever i read abt guys complaining that their gfs are controlling them too tightly and that they have no freedom, somehow or rather, i envy them quietly. i think im strange. i like my gf to sms/call me a lot, to tell me to not to go out with other girls etc.
what a flop. anybody behaves the same way as me? if yes, how u handle it?
Maybe you could let yr gf know that you want her to update you all the time... or you could do it to her first.. just a thought.~ -
Originally posted by _Aaron_:I think deep down, you really are insecure. But that's normal. Its hard for Singaporean guys like us to find security these days. Singapore is just too messed up for us guys.
Maybe you could let yr gf know that you want her to update you all the time... or you could do it to her first.. just a thought.~Past
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i seem to b in the same boat as jeramy
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Normally that type of girls will not look for guys of his type.Originally posted by alexkusu:I think ur the type who thinks the world of your gf. Find a gf who is that type
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learn.. i was once like that... i guess thats a pisces triat. convince urself that u are thinking too much and get over with it.
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Try not think so much ..probably she could busy on that day ..
One more thing is that gal like to test out the guy so probably she wans u to feel anxious abt her for a day. -
are we talking abt insecurity and lack of confidence in a r/s?
people..i think when you get into a r/s, its time to wake yourself up abit..
if you feel insecure in your r/s, its good to reflect and ask yourself why?
lacking of confidence in a r/s brings about diastraous effect in the r/s.. You start to imagine the most ridiculous things that your partners is thinking or doing, and picking up a fight over trival things are a norm....
if you all want to secure your r/s, get some help..read some books in improving the r/s..talk more to your partner, and understand what they are doing, and how they are feelings....
when you know your partner, you feel better towards the r/s...and hopefully, you stop imaging the worse....
good luck to those who just started out in a new r/s...feeling insecure is a norm, but building the trust and maintaining a good r/s is a must thing to do..
communication and communication...
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sometimes feel e same way as e threadstarter..duno y..
ya..kinda agree wif wad technoboy said..bt thn if she nvr sms u..n u keep sms-in her..wun she feel tat ur such a bothersome??(fan2 in chinese)Originally posted by technoboy:Me too, I always have the same feeling as you. Can't do much though I would say. If she doesn't sms you, then you sms her! -
you just feel insecure and have no trust in your gf.
when she sms you for 3 days straight, did you reply her?
if yes, are the contents the same or are the contents you sent her different
if its the same, then whats the point of her sending the same thing to you and vice versa. its kind of stupid right to sent the same things
add a bit of romantic stuff into the sms la..
i did that to a female close friend of mine whom usually ask me out late in the night, midnight when she's bored. the next week, she sent a gd nite msg, followed by a few days later, she ask me out in the evening, but i decline and offer to meet her late in the night (usually she's late) but that evening she's super kan chiong to meet me..
romantic stuff helps alot...
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try to be fresh and special and every replies u give to her, esp at work when both of you cant converse. for example lunch she sms u. u can reply her. chibao ler mah? eh ur workplace there oppesite the barchor mee quite nice u can try them tml. you could also sms her. hows your morning hai hao mah? dun too tired wor, tonite muz hab energy 2 go out with me hor. u could also try. dear. chi bao ler hor? lailai i give u a quiz ornot u will feel sleepy de. xiao ming drink milk grow up. da ming drink wad grow up? give her some lame things. if she dun sms u. u could always. hi dear, i now at plaza singapura, i buy a mug for you okies? so u can have 2 mugs, 1 for hot drinks 1 for cold drinks. or u could also. Dear. now raining at my here leh, issit raining at your there? You got bring your jacket anot? if not i can always bring there for you.
other then that. you have insecurity. You must respect understand and TRUST her. u have 2 first ask yourself. what gives you this insecurity? Do you reallly understand your gf? are u able to trust her 100% if not WHY? reflect on yourself. and may ur relationship bonding be stronger. -
You need someone who can be totally INTO you, and for which you can do as much the same for her... Probably lost in the world comprising only of both of you... Which... Also means chances are... It might not be such a 'healthy' relationship... Not that it can't be though...? When done properly, you might just end up in a very blissful one...Originally posted by jeramy:i think i'm a flop when it comes to handling relationships. when i'm single, im happy, always smiling, carefree and easily contented.
but when im involved with someone, i become bitter, always sad, and always having a sinking feeling inside me. no im not saying that i do not enjoy being in relationships, but its just that i cannot help it but feel over-sensitive over little little things that she did, or even things that she did not do.
for example, if she sends me sms during her lunch time everyday for 3 days but failed to do so in the 4th day, then i'll get over-sensitive and think up all sorts of reasons
i know, this is a very trivial matter, and most of you will be able to dismiss it as nothing, but i just cannot control it. just like you cannot control your mind to stop missing somebody. if it were so easy, then the world would be at peace liao..
also, whenever i read abt guys complaining that their gfs are controlling them too tightly and that they have no freedom, somehow or rather, i envy them quietly. i think im strange. i like my gf to sms/call me a lot, to tell me to not to go out with other girls etc.
what a flop. anybody behaves the same way as me? if yes, how u handle it? -
wow. thanks for all the replies and glad to know that i'm not alone in having all these kinds of feelings.
i know i feel insecure, and i know i really should not feel this way, but can you really control what you feel? its not as if i tell myself to feel this way, but when the feeling comes, it just comes isnt it? -
a video?? care to shareOriginally posted by rikki:My case is similar to yours. Just that i've never been in a relationship before. In my case, i feel that you can't actually handle it. I too, feels extremely sensitive when she doesent message me continuously for the 4th day. I would get extremely uncomfortable when i look at her and she did'nt look back. I guessed, if you can. Try to find something else to do on your own, get her out of your mind for awhile. My friend gave me a video to watch when i consulted her. Which turns out to be quite effective. -
so what did u do?Originally posted by cristy:i seem to b in the same boat as jeramy -
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actually if she nvr sms u perhaps u can sms her mah? u muz understand too sometime she busy working? or studying? if u stays this way then u will make relationship kind of stressful to each other..Originally posted by jeramy:i think i'm a flop when it comes to handling relationships. when i'm single, im happy, always smiling, carefree and easily contented.
but when im involved with someone, i become bitter, always sad, and always having a sinking feeling inside me. no im not saying that i do not enjoy being in relationships, but its just that i cannot help it but feel over-sensitive over little little things that she did, or even things that she did not do.
for example, if she sends me sms during her lunch time everyday for 3 days but failed to do so in the 4th day, then i'll get over-sensitive and think up all sorts of reasons
i know, this is a very trivial matter, and most of you will be able to dismiss it as nothing, but i just cannot control it. just like you cannot control your mind to stop missing somebody. if it were so easy, then the world would be at peace liao..
also, whenever i read abt guys complaining that their gfs are controlling them too tightly and that they have no freedom, somehow or rather, i envy them quietly. i think im strange. i like my gf to sms/call me a lot, to tell me to not to go out with other girls etc.
what a flop. anybody behaves the same way as me? if yes, how u handle it? -
bro. the only way for you to feel secure. is to trust your gf fully. understand her needs and her character. ONLY then, you will understand why sometimes she do this and that.
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Perhaps.. Just perhaps..Your girlfriend might be thinking the same way as you do. Why is she being the one messaging u for 3 days straight. You should do so too.