Relationship flop

• cristy

  12 Jun 06, 21:19

  Originally posted by jeramy:

  so what did u do?

  i did nothing and carried on my life ... dats y i'm still so miserable ....
• lin3

  12 Jun 06, 23:47

  i think u are really feeling insecure, and e best solution is to talk about it with ur gal. communicating can actually help alot, compared to keeping it all inside or ignoring n doing nth about it.
  
  
• jeramy

  13 Jun 06, 02:31

  Originally posted by lin3:

  i think u are really feeling insecure, and e best solution is to talk about it with ur gal. communicating can actually help alot, compared to keeping it all inside or ignoring n doing nth about it.
  
  

  hmmm communicate? means tell her to sms me everyday? dun think so la. i think she's great. its just me i suppose.. its hard to get rid of that insecure feeling..
• jeramy

  13 Jun 06, 02:36

  Originally posted by cristy:

  i did nothing and carried on my life ... dats y i'm still so miserable ....

  is it something like this
  
  whenever she does something to make you feel happy yes indeed you feel happy but then it lasts strangely for a short while before all those 'bad feelings' come back again
• Devil1976

  13 Jun 06, 12:26

  Originally posted by jeramy:

  wow. thanks for all the replies and glad to know that i'm not alone in having all these kinds of feelings.
  
  i know i feel insecure, and i know i really should not feel this way, but can you really control what you feel? its not as if i tell myself to feel this way, but when the feeling comes, it just comes isnt it?

  To an extent, you can learn to... Even if you can't control your feelings, you CERTAINLY CAN control your BEHAVIORS....
• jeramy

  14 Jun 06, 22:35

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  To an extent, you can learn to... Even if you can't control your feelings, you CERTAINLY CAN control your BEHAVIORS....

  yup. certianly i am controlling my behaviour by not making a fuss. (she doesnt know all these things that i feel)
  
  but then always the stupid feelings come and always i must contain it, just hope to find out how other people cope with such things. can you really eliminate away all these feelings?
• lonestar86

  15 Jun 06, 00:05

  so u like ur gf to be “sticky”??
  and always bother u??
  then uÂ’ll feel secure??
  
  omg.. thatÂ’s strange..
  cus I believe most guys dun like this kinda gf..
  I personally also dun like this kinda gal..
  
  yes, u might like it in the beginning (so-called honeymoon period)..
  but as time goes by, u might think that sheÂ’s really a bother who keeps bugging u day and night..
  
  anyway, thatÂ’s only my opinion..
• Devil1976

  15 Jun 06, 11:52

  Originally posted by jeramy:

  yup. certianly i am controlling my behaviour by not making a fuss. (she doesnt know all these things that i feel)
  
  but then always the stupid feelings come and always i must contain it, just hope to find out how other people cope with such things. can you really eliminate away all these feelings?

  That would really be about your mentality and focus....
  
  Understand that a relationship is not just about yourself.... If you tends to think in terms of yourself most of the time... It's almost like you've already given up on half of the relationship...
• AnimalArmy

  18 Jun 06, 22:23

  I have the same feelings too. I also expects the same kind of smses from my girl every day. I will feel upset and sad if I dun get the same kind. Its all due to insecurity.
• nanren4ever

  19 Jun 06, 10:20

  I was quite heck-care with my 1st girlfriend back then(meaning, i don't really bother 2 call her daily, chat with her daily etc) and in the end, i lost her 2 my best friend. After that, i became paranoid, and when the second relationship came, i was more uptight about her, and almost everyday, i will meet her. I became unreasonable whenever she never reply my call, or meet me. We quarrel about that, but didn't break for that reason.
  
  Sometimes, its all about finding balance. Know when to let go, and when to pull in the rein. If u know ur gf is the happy carefree spirit type, then its better 2 give her some degree of freedom.
• jeramy

  20 Jun 06, 12:26

  Originally posted by AnimalArmy:

  I have the same feelings too. I also expects the same kind of smses from my girl every day. I will feel upset and sad if I dun get the same kind. Its all due to insecurity.

  so how do u handle it?
• Muggle

  20 Jun 06, 16:38

  i too experience this. i feel the way u feeling. i know it is not right. tried hard to control my behaviour. but often failed. should i tell how i feel or just keep quiet? i often keep quiet and end up quarrel due to my behaviour which alway shows otherwise.
• jeramy

  20 Jun 06, 20:22

  Originally posted by Muggle:

  i too experience this. i feel the way u feeling. i know it is not right. tried hard to control my behaviour. but often failed. should i tell how i feel or just keep quiet? i often keep quiet and end up quarrel due to my behaviour which alway shows otherwise.

  hmm what happens if u keep quiet leh?
  
  for me i keep quiet and feel bad inside but whenever i see her or talk to her i try my best to act normal and most of the time she doesnt detect any thing...ya so thats the way i maintain.
  
  what about you? do u become extremely moody? what i think is even if u tell her what can be achieved? do you want to force her to send u sms everytime? i think its hard. thats why its hard to find a solution. haiz
• Devil1976

  21 Jun 06, 12:28

  Originally posted by jeramy:

  hmm what happens if u keep quiet leh?
  
  for me i keep quiet and feel bad inside but whenever i see her or talk to her i try my best to act normal and most of the time she doesnt detect any thing...ya so thats the way i maintain.
  
  what about you? do u become extremely moody? what i think is even if u tell her what can be achieved? do you want to force her to send u sms everytime? i think its hard. thats why its hard to find a solution. haiz

  I think you can still talk and communicate to her your thoughts and feelings in an appropriate way rather than to just bottle everything up.... By doing so, you certainly need not be making demands, especially unreasonable ones...
• Quinsy

  21 Jun 06, 13:56

  Originally posted by dibilo:

  learn.. i was once like that... i guess thats a pisces triat. convince urself that u are thinking too much and get over with it.

  Yeah agreeed. Me pisces and I get insecure too. Me girl.
• pete_parker

  24 Jun 06, 02:56

  Pisces too... it's said that Pisces are extremely sensitive & prone to moodiness kinda of ppl...
  
  Anyway it's also characteristical of me to brood over the little actions of my GF (ex) but yet keep quiet about it when i see her.
  
• weijian

  24 Jun 06, 03:15

  Originally posted by dibilo:

  learn.. i was once like that... i guess thats a pisces triat. convince urself that u are thinking too much and get over with it.

  +1
  
  same here, i am also a pisces hehe
  
  i just encountered exactly the same problem with you 4 days ago.
  
  the following words which i will be typing, hope it helps.
  
  when you feel insercure bout your gf and also feel jealous(in my case), wanting her to stick more to you, actually you are not feeling insercure bout her, but its more of lack of confidence in yourself, and you're scared that she run away with other guys.
  
  it was only after i told my female fren who i felt from the bottom of my heart on why i felt so low in confidence, pour all the reasons out.., then she remained as a special fren with me. (bgr minus the status only, so i classify it as special fren) don't ask me to elaborate as it's for special reason and it's btwn her and me ONLY so i will not elaborate more on this.
• anhydrouscoppersulphate

  24 Jun 06, 03:34

  you havent met your true love yet. time will come