misunderstood and confused
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hmm..informing the wife seems like a good idea...
taking hostages..
but then, what if the wife is the weak minded, easily influenced and only listens to him type? Maybe thats how she became his wife in the 1st place.. -
After reading your very long post, this is what I think imho.
To be direct, none of us here knows the exact details of what actually happened when you went over to your gf's house and how you handled the situation. I say this because if there really is a defamation suit (which looks very unlikely) chances are everything you said or did will be used against you. As for witnesses or accounts, it seems bleak since even her dad appears to be against you.
But then again if there really is a defamation suit, the one on the losing end would be the boss. I mean even if you are rich and all, a lawsuit is so freaking expensive. Assuming if the boss wins, he still has to pay a hefty amount like lawyer fees. For you, given your current financial situation as compared with him he has a lot more to lose than you. And starting an expensive lawsuit against you over such a minor conflict sounds really really dumb. More likely hes trying to scare you. If he so easily can sue people for defamation just because of badmouthing of him behind his back then the court everyday will be jammed packed liao. -
really dunno how to help u,your situation somehow too drama.But 1 thing is ,if your relationship is strong enough,no matter how whether your gf is smart or not also can withstand.It like me durning nsf times also just enlisted not long ago break liao,so i think the problem is your relationship not strong i guess.
Anyway just wish u all the best -
Yr gf might be raped by her boss during the trip to US. She felt humilitated and purposely say those hurtful word to make u leave her. Her boss might also got her nude photo and force her to leave u. 6 yrs of r/s,cannot say gone and be gone so easily. She might have her painful reason
Try to contact her and tell her no matter what happen ,u still love her and will never leave her! -
hmm what u say seems to make sense also eh. Poor galOriginally posted by CannyOng:Yr gf might be raped by her boss during the trip to US. She felt humilitated and purposely say those hurtful word to make u leave her. Her boss might also got her nude photo and force her to leave u. 6 yrs of r/s,cannot say gone and be gone so easily. She might have her painful reason
Try to contact her and tell her no matter what happen ,u still love her and will never leave her! -
Let's refrain from all the speculation.
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Hey guys our friend here got problem we all should help him right? the stupid boss know her awhile only and wanted to eat her straight ok i tell u wad if u really nid anything we will be down for u i understand ur feelings now
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killstyle: 6 yrs is not easy to let go bro, not easy at all
maurince: i dun think they had an intimate time together, i know my gf well, although she is weak in her thinking, she has certain strong principles in herself, such as not cheating or not taking bribes n also getting involved in a married man, in the long run without me, i m not sure, but not now, not during the 7 days
zel: i m not comtemplating in a lawsuit, i have calculated my odds n although it may seems to be a endless story, i m not wanting to get myself into all these mess, this kinda thing is gonna be a long fight n also if u come to think of it, he has nothing to lose financially while i have everything to lose as i come only from avg family, its like me betting 10k wif him, to him 10k is only matter of a wk work or so while for me it maybe half a yr of work
alex: wad i only analyse from the story is that, things jus happen at the wrong time n the wrong place, her emotions and thinking is already weak
its even weaker when we quarrel plus the stress shes having at the HQ, she admitted to me shes having alot of stress there, n our issues hit her at a all time low, n that gives pple a chance to brainwash her
stopping me from seeing her is wad all my friends think too, he gave me 2 options, to either apologise to my gf n him n family or i apologise in papers, or we go for the suit
in either way, hes obviously putting me down, right now i told him i will jus apologise because of wad i said or i didnt said, seriously i dun remember wad i said that nite
however if he were to named his terms as not to see my gf anymore, i wont accept it, he dosent have this right
brownie: i dun think shes been threatened anything or wad, cos if she did first thing she will do is to call n tell me everything, its been like this for the past 6 yrs, any problems wif her work, sch, parents, friends, computer, mp3 or songs or anything i can think of, first person is meeeee
yes i do love her, shes all i ever had, i did alot of sacrifice for her, but i did no point saying all these now, i have checked out the coy background n even friends in the field, its a large firm in the US even though the sg branch is small, prior to her trip i also called the hotel over there to make sure everythign is in line,
i m not a control freak, but i jus double checking because given her nature she will jus take it as genuine even when its maybe a stranger
the last thing i want is her to get into trouble there
regarding her career i guess pple will normally be tempted by the money n the prospects given to them, same as u or me
all along she has wanted to be successful, infact she performed very well in all her previous job but somehow her performance was blocked by her lack of PR or her superiors plus shes giving herself alot of stress because her older siblings are bery succesful pple, she keeps thinking her older bro is putting her down
being someone 's older bro as well, i know wad her bro does is jus merely teasing her or u can put it a non harmful way of "suan siao", tat nite i did manage to ask her, so given ur new job, i guess its above ur priority now ? she says she wants to concentrate on her new job but i m not making it easier for her, she ask me not to force her to make a choice between career n me
i said wad if i force u now to make a choice, she says its a rare oppurtunity n its her priority now
her parents, wad i can say abt her dad shares the same temper as her, equally emotional n sturbborn, emotional for him does not mean crying but he has a very very bad temper, u can call him an grumpy old man
the odds against now is that her boss got to talk to her dad first, so now the fact that i m a bad guy is drilled into his mind, given his grumpy nature i neber really like talkin to him, its the same as her bro-in-law n sis-in-law
her mother is alot easier to talk to, i have tot of talking to her mom, but i m jus afriad my gf n boss will take it negatively,as if i m the bad guy now tryin to get into pple's gd books
driftguy: as i mention earlier, the exact scenario at her place was, i jus want to talk, i didnt show any temper, i was not shouting, this is due to the fact that given the 6 yrs wif her, getting emotional infront of her is only making things worse, much of the time, my own emotions are bein controlled by me
because i know if i show my emotions, it will worsen her emotions and everythingg will become worse, plus the tense situation wif her dad, all i did was to jus explain everything i could
abt the suit, i will jus say it will get nowhere, contrary to wad u say, hes a rich man, he got nothing to lose, but i got everything to lose, if the damages shoot to 5 digits or wad, chances are that it may be nothing to him but it maybe alot for an avg man like me plus its gonna be a long mentally taxing battle,n its not going to reflect well of me to my gf
i also find it to be darn lame n bo liao, if i posted in a webby or blog abt him, its defamation because its being broadcasted to masses
but conversation between a couple abt their boss will result in defamation ? i find it damn weird
ken: all i can hope for now is for her to settle her emotions n think clearly without anybody's influence, u wan to say our relationship is not weak also ebcuase she has pull thru the time wif my ns time, but her emotions are n its jus happen someone manage to come in when she is at a all time low
canny: i dun think this is wad happen, if it does first person she will call is me
komon: i dun think he has done anything to her yet, she maybe naive sometimes but she still has some sense as to not sleep around for fame or for money -
i m not angry wif anybody now, i dun hate anybody now, i m jus very very gek sim
if we were to split because of differences, i dun mind, but if we were to split jus because of a squabble n some other pple, i find it really a pity
6 yrs is not a short time, we have pulled thru gd times and hard times together, shes like already a part of me
sure i can understand pple need to climb up the coporate ladder, but if u were to climb n sacrifice everything else
u maybe a multi millionaire when u r old but u still will be old n empty -
You mentioned that your gf has a history of depression...? How long ago was that and for how long a period? Is she currently still on any medication? If stopped, when did she stopped her medication?Originally posted by confused_misunderstood:this is wad she told me, this is the reason why she hates her parents also
but then i use to also think her parents are also too tight on her, but in the long run, she does really have problems taking care of herself
one thing is abt her emotions, even she cannot control her emotions, n when shes emotional, she makes rash decisions and rash actions
why i dun trust her, i already mention, shes not streetwise, she still have not seen the cruel side of the world, even at the airport, her boss went to buy drinks for us, she went to sit down, machiam like the boss is serving her, i told her the least u can do is at least stand beside him unless he ask u to go sit, not jus tell him u wan to drink wad n jus sit down, no matter wad hes still ur boss
2ndly, now shes in a foriegn land wif a stranger, as a bf, n ur gf is like this, would u not get worried ? i ony warn her the usual thigns, is to watch herself wif her superiors and be tactical wif wad she says, sometimes she talks too fast n say things which dont reflect well on her, n also dont go back alleys and watch her drink, tats all
space to breath ? y not ? i didnt stopped her from going out wif her friends or colleagues, but i jus tell her to at least lemme know where shes going n who shes going wif, sometimes she goes ktv or clubbing till 4am, i still wake up n go fetch her, i dun see how suffocating this can be
What are both your horoscopes?
Surface analysis suggest somehow a 'psycho relationship' going on between your gf and her boss...
Thing of utmost importance for you to try now is to gain back the TRUST she has in you... It would be most appropriately done by showing that you can trust her... This is an important move you'll have to make on the board... The rest would very much depends on your OUTCOME.... -
Words of caution... And reminder...
Do NOT overdo it and stress her... -
she has a depression history u can say dated as far back as sec sch, she committed sucide in the toilet but was saved in timeOriginally posted by Devil1976:You mentioned that your gf has a history of depression...? How long ago was that and for how long a period? Is she currently still on any medication? If stopped, when did she stopped her medication?
What are both your horoscopes?
Surface analysis suggest somehow a 'psycho relationship' going on between your gf and her boss...
Thing of utmost importance for you to try now is to gain back the TRUST she has in you... It would be most appropriately done by showing that you can trust her... This is an important move you'll have to make on the board... The rest would very much depends on your OUTCOME....
she is currently seein specialist, guys i hope u all understand seeing a doctor does mean u r psycho or crazy, its jus abt her emotional control
she herself admitted her condition but i m the one who encouraged her to go for it
i dun have problem coping wif her temper, i am by nature a mild tempered and positive person, i ask her to go because i cant bear to see her suffer, there are sometimes she tell me she herself is suffering from her own emotions, its nearly but not entirely split personality, it pains me even though the one suffering is not me.
Medication yes, the prescription is on a daily basis because the doctor says if a person gets angry or stresses up bery often its not bery good on the mental health also
however she does not take a daily basis because it makes her tired n lethargic, sorta like no strength to get angry or emotional n also due to the fact her previous suicide is by swallowing 40 panadol pills
she has sorta phobia for pills now, i also didnt force her, but when she is getting unstable i will tell her to go take or she will go take herself
her trust in me now is being dis illusioned by that someone now, my move now i also duno, i jus gotta wait n see how it goes -
I think what she needs is TIME.
Time will tell her whether he's a good guy.
Time will tell whether u were right.
Time will tell whether she has made a right decision.
Dun give up on her yet. But dun stress her. -
Hey...
Dun worry too much abt the lawsuit...
Singapore judiciary system is a sensible one and the judges will not even consider this kind of absurd accusation and lawsuit...
As for the Asshole taking advantage of ur Galfrd overseas...it is a highly possibility...cos he can always spike her drinks and have his way wif her and take indiscriminating photographs of her to blackmail her...
Given ur Grdfrd WEAK mentality...and her inability to withstand stress..she is likely to give in to his demands to prevent exposure of something that will cause here even more undue stress and public pressure....
Of course i am assuming too much... But then, the best thing now is to have a gd long talk wif her if possible, and to find out more from her mother ... Try to have a chat wif her old man...Stubborn as he is... I'm sure if u can expalin to him ur pedicament and the possiblity that her daughter has been exploited...he will return to his senses and be wary abt the ASSHOLE..
Take care man..
I emphathise wif u.. -
We will be there if u nid any help
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aft reading this thread..
i feel so sad for the thread starter, confused_misunderstood..
yes, relationship can be very fragile..
6 yrs being together doesn't mean that the relationship will be strong..
personally, I think that the longer the relationship, the more fragile it becomes..
any minor issue might just cause a break-up..
sad ending..
sorry, i can't help but to feel sad for u..
all the best to u.. -
I think what i would do at such a situation is to give a few days of break to the girl.. Perhaps after 3-4 days later, send a msg saying that you miss her or miss doing stuff with her or feel very lonely. Keep trying until she respond. If negative respond, can say bye bye liao. jiao some friend to go pub and drown your sorrows.
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Originally posted by M©+square:Let's refrain from all the speculation.
X2
I will reserve posting until things are clearer.
Cheers -
you're kinda acting like her mother, kept calling her for days. anyway, i suspect that something is wrong with her during her work and her boss.
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your incessant calling and sms to her boss was unnecessary.....whatever state it is in right now, it's very much a gone case for you....best thing is for you to leave her...clinical depression is hereditary so if you want kids with her, not advisable. i believe if you leave her, then all your problems are solved....the libel suit has no bearing so don't bother with it until he actually brings it up legally.
6 years may be a long time to call it quits but look ahead, do you want to deal with all this crap for the next 60 years? i can assure you that you'll be better off starting anew.... -
Hai~~~......Sad case for u....Let her go...Let her be the one who regret that she do not treasue you.......Most of the guys they just want to have the body of the gal never think so much...when they are sick liao then they will change.....Ur gf don t know how to treasure u let her go....U deserve to be with a better gal......Dont let urself live in misery........U already did ur job....let fate decided what is they future of the both of them.....
Take it easy man.......I know its hard but try,,,,, -
Swallowing 40 panadols as a suicide attempt ???
Dun tell me i know her...
HEY..PM ME if ur grdfrd's name is Constance S***.. -
as i mention we are a bery close couple, when she is in sg, we talk to each other few times a day, we call each other, not only me keep calling herOriginally posted by ChairmanJay:you're kinda acting like her mother, kept calling her for days. anyway, i suspect that something is wrong with her during her work and her boss.
during her trip, i call her only on alternate days, n also less than 3 mins , i dun think its too much -
if u realise, i only call her boss twice which he neber ans, and also a few smsOriginally posted by countdracula:your incessant calling and sms to her boss was unnecessary.....whatever state it is in right now, it's very much a gone case for you....best thing is for you to leave her...clinical depression is hereditary so if you want kids with her, not advisable. i believe if you leave her, then all your problems are solved....the libel suit has no bearing so don't bother with it until he actually brings it up legally.
6 years may be a long time to call it quits but look ahead, do you want to deal with all this crap for the next 60 years? i can assure you that you'll be better off starting anew....
its has to stretch to a few sms because he did not ans my qustions
i m worried sick for my gf because she is wif a stranger n i duno where is she for the 6hrs
in short, given her this kind of emotional weakness
i dun think i m over reacting
many pple pick n choose their partners, she may have this shortcoming of a bad temper, but when we are happy, we really are
the few yrs in the beginning, i was having a hard time coping the relationship i also have the same thoughts as u, i might be happier n better without her
but then soon i realise shes like this, shes also suffering n a victim herself
if i were to dump her jus like this, i dun think i really love her,
her one is not extreme case, i seen even worse case in army, my men has ever breakdown during parades, jus becuase he was told to march properly, he cannot take it n start crying like a baby in the parade square, chao keng or not is a different issue all together but if he does, i think he can qualify for oscar or grammy
regarding kids, i wont dare to think so far, if i were to have, i think since young i will pay attention to their thoughts because i would have been wif their mother for at least 10-15 yrs already
love might not be fair between 2 parties, there is always one sacrifical party, but as long as the sacrificial is happy, n not really a big issue, i dun see how big the problem can be -
so you only called her that few times, then there's something going on between them for reacting as you described.
as for love conqures all, that's stuff made in movies. i know you are young and your view of relationships are parochial but take it from folks who had seen a lot more, you are indeed better off anew. you will immensely regret if you remain in this state. first off, even if you do reconcile, the bad blood between you and her father and the boss will remain a huge blot.
next, all this talk about being able to see through this and that is simply naive without regard of realities and possible consequences. sounds harsh, been there, done that buddy....well not exactly but when the numbers add up, there's only one answer.....wishing you the best...