Problem with Brother Addicted to Computer Games
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I have a brother and he's 12 this year.
Its his PSLE year, but i think he spends more time on MapleStory and Rakion than anything else.
I guess its partly my fault, i practically grew up playing games, and i guess some of it must have rubbed onto him.
Now that its his holidays, i think he spends at least 5 hours a day. At Least!
And everytime we nag at him to stop, he'll just say "yea, yea", and then continue playing, giving excuses like i only just started playing!, Etc. until he cannot take our nagging anymore. In which, he'll stomp his legs in anger and back off.
I guess my parents don't scold him or cane him that much. Actually ... hey! I don't remember my parents caning him at all. Probably just once or twice. Unlike poor me, who's 10 years his senior.
What should i do? I don't think my family is controlling him very well. I'm kinda worried about his PSLE, but i hear his grades aren't that bad. But still... i fear this gaming is getting out of hand.
Damn. Perhaps i should NOT have introduced him to Wc3 or anything.
Advice anyone? -
password lock the computer
set aside a limited time to play per day
i wouldnt suggest gradual change eg from 5 hours to 4 hours to three hours that sort of thing. it might lead to more protests. say you want the limit to be two hours per day give it to him straightaway
reward him with an extra hour if he does well, hope it motivates him to study
i think you should also talk to him tell him the reasons why you are doing this, the possible consequences if this continues. dont yell, dont give physical punishments.
encourage other activites eg playing basketball
hope it helps -
I don't know man.. my house has a teenage tenant also facing this problem.. going for his O levels and still play so many hours of DOTA per day... Thing he is.. most of the time he will play outside at cyber cafes..
So if your brother is resourceful enough and your parents give him pocket money then he might actually play at cyber cafes even if you password lock his computer or ban him outright... Also seeking a solution to this problem -
lay down the terms and conditions.......
all work and no play oso cannot mah
say.....3hrs of studying, then 1hr of play.....
work out something..... -
How to lay down terms?
This has been going on for like... 1-2 years? Though it only just recently worsened to such horrible conditions.
I blame MapleStory and Rakion. Grrr.
No, i don't think he'll spend his money on cybercafe's... he's not that type. In fact, he stays at home too long. I think there are only 2 things he does at home; Game and Homework... and sleep of course.
he doesn't go out much, cept when chased by us too much, he'll play some badminton downstairs...
Guess he's an introvert like me. -
sit him down and tell him
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hey if his grades are ok, leave him be.
its his way of studying. the main thing is to do well, not study alot.
for me i play alot and slack alot during the term and what not, but towards the exams then i start studying. and i do pretty ok. its mroe of method of studying i guess.
not saying he will start working hard when the exams are near though. jsut s possibility you should not close your mind to -
Download some software which can keep track of a person's computer usage and switch it off after a time limit. Be prepared to pay for it, though.
Here's one I managed to find:
http://www.download.com/Child-Control-2006/3000-2162_4-10534901.html?tag=lst-0-1
For a cheaper solution, set up a user ID for logging into your computer to which only you know the password. Then your brother would have to ask you to log in for you every time he wants to use the computer. This way, you can make sure that he at least finishes his work before playing the computer. -
That sounds cool, but i'm not willing to pay =_=...Originally posted by fudgester:Download some software which can keep track of a person's computer usage and switch it off after a time limit. Be prepared to pay for it, though.
Here's one I managed to find:
http://www.download.com/Child-Control-2006/3000-2162_4-10534901.html?tag=lst-0-1
For a cheaper solution, set up a user ID for logging into your computer to which only you know the password. Then your brother would have to ask you to log in for you every time he wants to use the computer. This way, you can make sure that he at least finishes his work before playing the computer.
He knows my ID!
I don't even know how to start talking to him..~ -
sit down with him and talk nicely to him. tell him you worried about his grades and ask him if he has thought about them or has any plans.Originally posted by _Aaron_:That sounds cool, but i'm not willing to pay =_=...
He knows my ID!
I don't even know how to start talking to him..~
btw pls talk nicely and not condescingly and not to take to long to get to the point
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The software I told you about has a 30-day free trial. I think it'll be sufficient for the rest of the holidays.Originally posted by _Aaron_:That sounds cool, but i'm not willing to pay =_=...
He knows my ID!
I don't even know how to start talking to him..~
Of course, that's just a stopgap solution for the holidays. I'm not sure how (I'm a computer idiot), but I'm sure there's a way to change the user ID and password. You need to find a way to do this, or you won't be able to control his computer usage. Try posting in the IT support forum.
Tell him straight in the face that it's his PSLE year, and that he can't very well be spending all his time playing and not doing his work. As the others have said, come up with some sort of compromise... make him show you the work that he did for the day before you let him play the computer.
And get your parents into the act. It sure would defeat the purpose of doing all this if your parents willingly give him money to visit LAN gaming shops every day. -
For maplestory, play with a hack and get his account banned, rakion? I don't know.Originally posted by _Aaron_:I have a brother and he's 12 this year.
Its his PSLE year, but i think he spends more time on MapleStory and Rakion than anything else.
I guess its partly my fault, i practically grew up playing games, and i guess some of it must have rubbed onto him.
Now that its his holidays, i think he spends at least 5 hours a day. At Least!
And everytime we nag at him to stop, he'll just say "yea, yea", and then continue playing, giving excuses like i only just started playing!, Etc. until he cannot take our nagging anymore. In which, he'll stomp his legs in anger and back off.
I guess my parents don't scold him or cane him that much. Actually ... hey! I don't remember my parents caning him at all. Probably just once or twice. Unlike poor me, who's 10 years his senior.
What should i do? I don't think my family is controlling him very well. I'm kinda worried about his PSLE, but i hear his grades aren't that bad. But still... i fear this gaming is getting out of hand.
Damn. Perhaps i should NOT have introduced him to Wc3 or anything.
Advice anyone?
If he really so unrepentable, maybe you should let him have a taste of failing first, let him repeat his P6 and it will knock some sense into him.
Since he is only 12, no point telling him about future, he won't understand one.
Maybe you can act colder towards him and make him realised he actually doing the wrong things. Ignore him more.
Say something sacrasitic like "play more lor, i don't care, not my result anyway" then walk off.
Maybe 1~2 weeks it will take effect
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My parents don't give him money to vist lan gaming shops because he doesn't. Okay, i can't say for sure, but there's no need for him to visit one. I don't think he really knows the importance of PSLE, i didn't when i was his age... i was just playing(not computer games), but playing nontheless.Originally posted by fudgester:The software I told you about has a 30-day free trial. I think it'll be sufficient for the rest of the holidays.
Of course, that's just a stopgap solution for the holidays. I'm not sure how (I'm a computer idiot), but I'm sure there's a way to change the user ID and password. You need to find a way to do this, or you won't be able to control his computer usage. Try posting in the IT support forum.
Tell him straight in the face that it's his PSLE year, and that he can't very well be spending all his time playing and not doing his work. As the others have said, come up with some sort of compromise... make him show you the work that he did for the day before you let him play the computer.
And get your parents into the act. It sure would defeat the purpose of doing all this if your parents willingly give him money to visit LAN gaming shops every day.
I guess, at 12, its too early to think about yr future... esp when you are the one thinking about it...
Wah liew. I think he'll hate me forever.Originally posted by MosPyramid:For maplestory, play with a hack and get his account banned, rakion? I don't know.
If he really so unrepentable, maybe you should let him have a taste of failing first, let him repeat his P6 and it will knock some sense into him.
Since he is only 12, no point telling him about future, he won't understand one.
Maybe you can act colder towards him and make him realised he actually doing the wrong things. Ignore him more.
Say something sacrasitic like "play more lor, i don't care, not my result anyway" then walk off.
Maybe 1~2 weeks it will take effect
I may use this method... i sure hope he'll buck up after he reaches sec 1, maybe he'll find a girlfriend or something.
I don't talk much to him actually. Sigh, i feel like i'm a failed brother. I'm really not a family person, and i spend much more time outside with other friends... or alone.. in my room reading. -
as a gamer myself, 1 hour of play is definately not enough. depending on what kind of game one is playing. normally 3 hours should be enough to get the satisfaction. especially those RPG where it takes time to train your character.Originally posted by FireIce:lay down the terms and conditions.......
all work and no play oso cannot mah
say.....3hrs of studying, then 1hr of play.....
work out something..... -
5 hours?!?!Originally posted by _Aaron_:I have a brother and he's 12 this year.
Its his PSLE year, but i think he spends more time on MapleStory and Rakion than anything else.
I guess its partly my fault, i practically grew up playing games, and i guess some of it must have rubbed onto him.
Now that its his holidays, i think he spends at least 5 hours a day. At Least!
- pffft - I used to knock out 16 hour days. -
PSLE coming u know!Originally posted by Gordonator:as a gamer myself, 1 hour of play is definately not enough. depending on what kind of game one is playing. normally 3 hours should be enough to get the satisfaction. especially those RPG where it takes time to train your character. -
uninstall the games. keep a soft copy of the setup files and hide it so he can access the games under yr supervision only.
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let him play ba.. he might become a talented games developer in the future.
no seriously, i don't see a big deal from this. -
ask him go out, or find something to spent his time without using the pc. keep him busy and he will just forget
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hmm.
1. Just format the computer and install Linux over WindowsXP. Linux = no games.
2. Sell your computer and get a Mac. Mac = A hell lot less game.
3. Create a login acc for the computer.
Personally, am using no. 2.
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in that case, it boils down to individual determination, personal willpower, self control and self discipline.Originally posted by FireIce:PSLE coming u know! -
Lets see...
1. Block the games using firewall, then lock the firewall with a password if possible.
2. Spend a few minutes uninstalling the game everytime he installs them back.
3. Delete some files from the games folders so that he can't even start the games.
4. Remove keyboard and mouse
5. Change user account password
6. Remove internet connection
7. Change the game's shortcut icons to other programs
8. Take a screenshot of the desktop, set it as wallpaper. Remove all desktop icons and hide the taskbar
I'll recommend the method of setting his playtime according to his study time, like what some ppl mentioned above, 3 hours of studying let him play for an hour. -
Heh. I don't think it'll be of much help if u lock the com wif passwords or sell away ur com as there're other means of entertainment. Who noes? He might change to playing PSP, XBOX or even swith to playing in the arcade!
He's in the period of his life where he doesn't take advice from his family members. Let him play and fall to learn his lesson.
Take the results of the coming tests/exams as an example of how and where he'll end up if he doesn't buck up.
Anyway, I think the developer of maple story made a huge mistake by creating the marriage function. Players of opposite gender can now get married in the game! It's not surprising if ur brother starts to think that he's married. Stop him from playing! Yea. Use the hack program to get him banned.
Cheers.
C.K -
This will need lots of time and commitment on your part to solve. It is not a simple probelm to handle. You need to find a multi pronged solution. Take some of the solutions offerred here and combine them.
My contribution to you is to ask you if you have the energy and will to do it?
I wish I had a brother like you. You are like his savior. You are a shinning example of what the Christians and the Buddhist are all preaching for people to be like. -
Hmm..