My problem? Is it really my problem?
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Got to agree with what someone has posted earlier in this thread - (I presume you aren't out of your teens yet, given your take on things) although your outgoing friends may seem to be having the better deal with girls now, their perceived strengths(ie.them being extroverted, etc) alone will not help sustain any viable relationship. Basically, the sort of guys girls look for(from my experience, at least) are different dependent on whether they're looking for friends, buddies, boyfriends or husbands...
There's certainly no point for you to change yourself to tune into their frequency - you'd be better off having people accept you for who you're IMO.
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ONE MUST CONSTANTLY CHANGE TO BE BETTER.
DON'T ALWAYS THINK THAT YOU ARE BORN LIKE THAT AND YOU MUST BE LIKE THAT.
CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.
NOT FOR THE WORSE THOUGH. -
you could be half a pisces or capricon tooOriginally posted by lonestar86:ic, i'm an Aquarius..
but we have similar characteristic.. -
just be yourself.
Some day, u will find someone who truly appreciates you for being YOU. -
start from small.. laugh along with ur frens when they talking to girls and give a suan comment suddenly.. then they might think u thinks funny too.
but dun too over else they will noe u faking it.. be natural and let ur inner self speak out. and if ur frens are really good they will help u de.. =D
good luck
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when u grow older...hehe females will want a stable one then those play play ones LOL... ok erm...just be urself =)
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Come on, dun need to be desperate for girls now. I guess it's better to be yourself but sometimes it's good to tease girls too, learning to tease girls is easy, you just need to see something wierd or wrong with them then capitialise on that and tease them on that. Till now I can only tease girls but not guys. I find that guys are more difficult to tease.
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in my opinion, doing nothing about it by accepting your fate, wait until u r old and get a gf who wants mature guys is totally nonsensical and not logical. at all.
why accept your lot when u r still alive and able to do something about it?
why wait until u r old and get a ger who is screwed millions of times by God knows how many guys, when she was younger?
knn, like that very unfair for you. your life is how long only? why use used tissues when changing a bit of yourself can assure u the chance to be the first to use it? very cold. but thats the way of life. cold, cruel. practical.
u will have to change your state of mind to a talkative one (read some NLP books, concentrate on anchoring and changing states), and then come up with witty one liners to shoot those gers (and guys) back. they will love u when u become funny and sarcastic. changing your looks to a more fashionable one would be great too!
u will have to try to understand their point of view, pace them, paraphrase them, then lead them into a topic that u like gradually. learning about their astrology signs, a few magic tricks would do wonders too.
the thing is, if u like a ger, u cannot act like u like her. once u use of all the above techniques to reach the 'hook point' (ie to say she doesnt want u to leave), the more u treat her like dirt, the more she wants u. u wont even need to ask for her number. but always watch it so u wont pass the limit and piss her off.
treat gers like your training ground, they like to flirt. so that when u have found 'the ONE', u will be almost guaranteed to get her. and when that happens, keeping your eye on her every single second is going to freak her out so much she'd avoid u like a plaque. but if u do all of the above mentioned things, that would be the absolute last thing on earth u will do. so its ok.
lastly, its not enough to lead a girl. leading guys by being the alpha male is the key. gers like to be led, why not be the strongest of leaders?
now then, wat is your definition of an alpha male? -
Originally posted by Ristar:
changing yourself into something you do not like is alpha male meh?
in my opinion, doing nothing about it by accepting your fate, wait until u r old and get a gf who wants mature guys is [b]totally nonsensical and not logical. at all.
why accept your lot when u r still alive and able to do something about it?
why wait until u r old and get a ger who is screwed millions of times by God knows how many guys, when she was younger?
knn, like that very unfair for you. your life is how long only? why use used tissues when changing a bit of yourself can assure u the chance to be the first to use it? very cold. but thats the way of life. cold, cruel. practical.
u will have to change your state of mind to a talkative one (read some NLP books, concentrate on anchoring and changing states), and then come up with witty one liners to shoot those gers (and guys) back. they will love u when u become funny and sarcastic. changing your looks to a more fashionable one would be great too!
u will have to try to understand their point of view, pace them, paraphrase them, then lead them into a topic that u like gradually. learning about their astrology signs, a few magic tricks would do wonders too.
the thing is, if u like a ger, u cannot act like u like her. once u use of all the above techniques to reach the 'hook point' (ie to say she doesnt want u to leave), the more u treat her like dirt, the more she wants u. u wont even need to ask for her number. but always watch it so u wont pass the limit and piss her off.
treat gers like your training ground, they like to flirt. so that when u have found 'the ONE', u will be almost guaranteed to get her. and when that happens, keeping your eye on her every single second is going to freak her out so much she'd avoid u like a plaque. but if u do all of the above mentioned things, that would be the absolute last thing on earth u will do. so its ok.
lastly, its not enough to lead a girl. leading guys by being the alpha male is the key. gers like to be led, why not be the strongest of leaders?
now then, wat is your definition of an alpha male?[/b] -
a neccessary thing to do, unless he wants gers who have been used and dumped so many times they want homey homey guys.
gers wanna be intrigued, be with a guy who is interesting rather than interested.
like i said, life on earth is how long only? why go against wat works? if that is really wat he wants, then he wont complain about being a lone ranger and not getting gers. i believe that deep inside, he is not socially calibrated enough to do all that sort of things to people he does not know well yet.
hence, he wont get into a talkative state of mind when out with people he doesnt really know.
btw, Ito, being alpha doesnt really mean that. think about wat being an alpha male really means carefully. -
I think deep-down, you are afraid of what people thinks of you. Explains why you're quiet. Don't be afraid to talk. Once you get past that barrier, you just wished you can stop talking...
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x2Originally posted by DrTech:I think deep-down, you are afraid of what people thinks of you. Explains why you're quiet. Don't be afraid to talk. Once you get past that barrier, you just wished you can stop talking... -
i heard the nu alpha males is the quiet, confident type
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Originally posted by alexkusu:
i heard the nu alpha males is the quiet, confident type -
You are so like me. ALL my guy friends are the outspoken kind. And yea because i'm so shy i often find myself becoming the loner. Nowadays i try to speak up more often but i wont speak up TOO MUCH yea haha.
I think 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai' is quite true for young people. But when everyone grows old the ladies start looking for good reliable guys who can really take care of them? I dunno haha. -
Thanks everyone for the advices. Guess i will do what ristar suggested and if i still get nothing out of it, fate will decide.
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Originally posted by Ristar:
i kind of agree with you. gals like to be hurt and screw even when they themselves know it.sigh.. and the nice guys become the doormat and only get the gers after they are being screwed .. wat a fucktard world
in my opinion, doing nothing about it by accepting your fate, wait until u r old and get a gf who wants mature guys is [b]totally nonsensical and not logical. at all.
why accept your lot when u r still alive and able to do something about it?
why wait until u r old and get a ger who is screwed millions of times by God knows how many guys, when she was younger?
knn, like that very unfair for you. your life is how long only? why use used tissues when changing a bit of yourself can assure u the chance to be the first to use it? very cold. but thats the way of life. cold, cruel. practical.
u will have to change your state of mind to a talkative one (read some NLP books, concentrate on anchoring and changing states), and then come up with witty one liners to shoot those gers (and guys) back. they will love u when u become funny and sarcastic. changing your looks to a more fashionable one would be great too!
u will have to try to understand their point of view, pace them, paraphrase them, then lead them into a topic that u like gradually. learning about their astrology signs, a few magic tricks would do wonders too.
the thing is, if u like a ger, u cannot act like u like her. once u use of all the above techniques to reach the 'hook point' (ie to say she doesnt want u to leave), the more u treat her like dirt, the more she wants u. u wont even need to ask for her number. but always watch it so u wont pass the limit and piss her off.
treat gers like your training ground, they like to flirt. so that when u have found 'the ONE', u will be almost guaranteed to get her. and when that happens, keeping your eye on her every single second is going to freak her out so much she'd avoid u like a plaque. but if u do all of the above mentioned things, that would be the absolute last thing on earth u will do. so its ok.
lastly, its not enough to lead a girl. leading guys by being the alpha male is the key. gers like to be led, why not be the strongest of leaders?
now then, wat is your definition of an alpha male?[/b] -
are all girls like this?
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Yeah this world is F***ed up man. I agree with you. So let's freaking hurt them.Originally posted by nerfz:i kind of agree with you. gals like to be hurt and screw even when they themselves know it.sigh.. and the nice guys become the doormat and only get the gers after they are being screwed .. wat a fucktard world -
Ristar, have you been dumped or something? The way you phrased it, it almost made me think you view girls as s-l-u-t-s - a possible result of either being dumped, or watching too much porn.
Learn to speak out more. Stop worrying about how people think about you, and start worrying about how people WON'T think about you if you don't start speaking out. Once you've learnt to speak out more, the other will follow.
By speaking out, you would increase your self-confidence. A high self-confidence (Note: self-confidence. Not arrogant. Set the line.) would allow you to better engage in conversation with others, girls if you like.
Then again, if all fails, find a shell, and be a hermit crab. They still get noticed, anyway. -
come on its not that bad.
i also have ZERO close female friends. why the need for close female friends? hmm come to think of it i think even those hi-bye types also little until cannot.
in my phone book only about 5% are female phone numbers which i dun contact at all. i think its no big deal man.
study hard, work hard, make damn loads of money. live a luxurious life and let the girls come after you ba... -
neither dumped, nor watched too much porn. its sad, but im sure u dun go around asking your gal frens whether they screw their bfs right? neither do i think that gers are sluts.Originally posted by binarynwitz:Ristar, have you been dumped or something? The way you phrased it, it almost made me think you view girls as s-l-u-t-s - a possible result of either being dumped, or watching too much porn.
the truth is everyone's got their needs. be it sluts, innocent young school girls, or watever.
gers are just better at concealing it than guys, thats all.
like i said before, gers like guys to be interesting, rather than interested. interesting guys may or may not be interested in the girl, but guys being guys, are interested in the body... no matter how much he luvs her, or not. unless her face really cannot make it. -
You probably just have not met the appropriate girls or manage to get close enough to them for communication...Originally posted by forfun_cash:ya. If only my mindset and my actions dont contridict that much.
I'm a quiet guy in person but am real vain and wild inside. You understand how i feel anot? sian.
I agree with what you've said about just being yourself than trying to be something you're not.. But that certainly doesn't mean that you can't try harder to getting closer to know someone by other means...?
And to this 'quote' of yours which I'm replying to... I think you really just have problem expressing yourself...? -
Alpha male
Definition: a domineering man
Etymology: from first letter of the Greek alphabet, often used as an adjective to describe males and females of species who rank first in a group