Is it only me?

• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:22

  Hi, came across this forum by chance and find that it is really a very neat and nice one. Wondered if you all can help me with this problem of mine
  
  I am in my mid twenties this year and actually I broke off with my boyfriend like 6 months back. All this while I still have feelings for him but he just keep avoiding me.
  
  Now the problem is as follows, I came to know another guy just a few months back and we have like gone out for the past few weeks, he seems to be a very nice guy and we seems to click off quite well, the same frequency and such
  
  BUT
  
  he mentioned that he is someone who is does not want a relationship that holds back the feelings, when I asked him what does he mean by that he meant that he is more of a physical kind of person
  
  I think I belong to the more conservative side of person so its like he thinks that I am moving too slow while I think that he is moving too fast, initially we said if that is the case, it would be better to remain as friends but then somehow now it becomes a case of 'go with the flow'
  
  So now what should I do? Because it seems to be like its not really a relationship as yet but he wants to have feelings and behaviour like what a couple should do like hugs and kisses etc, I must admit it is not really what I would normally do unless I am deeper into the relationship, and yes, I do have a mutual attraction to him as well.. so any adviceon this matter?
• killstyle

  2 Jul 06, 20:27

  yes. its only you.
  
  
• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:28

  Originally posted by killstyle:

  yes. its only you.
  
  

  So what does it mean? I am really too conservative?
• kopiosatu

  2 Jul 06, 20:28

  well if he really likes / loves you...
  there should be a compromise.
  
  not one side entertaining the other.
• olala

  2 Jul 06, 20:28

  I'm not saying his a bad person
  but his stand on r/s seem pretty different from u
  u mentioned that hes more of a physical type and ur probaly more conservative
  
  hence...there is a either i 'suit' u or u 'suit' me
  which means either u try to suit his physical 'desire' or he tries to be more patient
  
  however IMO,i dun recommend this
  
  but b4 all this,u might wanna sort out the issue between u and ur ex
  thinking of this new guy is not advisable in the sense that it tends to complicate the r/s and might hurt u and the new guy
• used

  2 Jul 06, 20:30

  he is just messing wif ur feelings. leave him
• olala

  2 Jul 06, 20:30

  Originally posted by killstyle:

  yes. its only you.
  
  

  fuk off la u pervert
  This is AAA
  i know ur jokes sux and has lower rating than mine but u dun have to come in AA and bark ^^
  cheers
• killstyle

  2 Jul 06, 20:30

  eh. your title says is it only me.
  
  do u prefer,
  
  yes its only you
  
  or
  
  no it wasnt you?
• mhcampboy

  2 Jul 06, 20:30

  I think the first step in realising what you are to release the longing feeling that you still have with your ex. Release it. And you will understand yourself further. Only you can make yourself happy.
• kopiosatu

  2 Jul 06, 20:31

  actually i think its just a rebound.
• R3SsH|n

  2 Jul 06, 20:31

  welcome to sgforums...new members please wait 5 minutes between each post for the first 20 post....
  
  well..if you are the conservative side kind of person..then stay that way...no need to accomadate him just because he is more "physical"...you will only feel more uncomfortable in the long run...and that might lead to even more problems in the future...
  
  unless you can set a compromise with him...meaning each of you know your stand..when to advance...when is it to stop...this way...you can get the best of both worlds..
  
  
• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:34

  Originally posted by R3SsH|n:

  welcome to sgforums...new members please wait 5 minutes between each post for the first 20 post....
  
  well..if you are the conservative side kind of person..then stay that way...no need to accomadate him just because he is more "physical"...you will only feel more uncomfortable in the long run...and that might lead to even more problems in the future...
  
  unless you can set a compromise with him...meaning each of you know your stand..when to advance...when is it to stop...this way...you can get the best of both worlds..
  
  

  so, by agreeing with 'go with the flow' is it a form of compromise on both parties?
  
  
• kopiosatu

  2 Jul 06, 20:36

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  so, by agreeing with 'go with the flow' is it a form of compromise on both parties?
  
  

  if you'r comfortable and he's comfortable... ok what.
  if u don't feel comfortable then work to a compromise.
• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:40

  Originally posted by kopiosatu:

  if you'r comfortable and he's comfortable... ok what.
  if u don't feel comfortable then work to a compromise.

  But both of us just said 'go with the flow' details not mentioned, how to set a line on such issues?
• R3SsH|n

  2 Jul 06, 20:41

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  so, by agreeing with 'go with the flow' is it a form of compromise on both parties?
  
  

  i guess in your case...'go with the flow' might mean you 2 are feeling each other out...just like threading water...feeling whether the water is cold or hot...after sometime...you might get comfy with it and start swimming...
  
  at the end of the day...if the feeling is right...i would say go for it...but never in any circumstances...believe you should give in to him TOTALLY...always have your reserves as a girl...
• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:46

  Originally posted by R3SsH|n:

  i guess in your case...'go with the flow' might mean you 2 are feeling each other out...just like threading water...feeling whether the water is cold or hot...after sometime...you might get comfy with it and start swimming...
  
  at the end of the day...if the feeling is right...i would say go for it...but never in any circumstances...believe you should give in to him TOTALLY...always have your reserves as a girl...

  But if he advance like hugging and kissing what should I do? Push him away?
  
  Caused like I say, I do not mind it if we are an item but now, it is just a case of 'connection'?
• StarPuppy

  2 Jul 06, 20:47

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  But both of us just said 'go with the flow' details not mentioned, how to set a line on such issues?

  very simply..put
  
  if you are not comfortable with such issues...refuse it and give valid reasons..you can't argue with reason..
  
  i think he should be mature enough
• kopiosatu

  2 Jul 06, 20:48

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  But if he advance like hugging and kissing what should I do? Push him away?
  
  Caused like I say, I do not mind it if we are an item but now, it is just a case of 'connection'?

  if you're uncomfortable about it then tell him.
• Raining Stars

  2 Jul 06, 20:59

  Originally posted by kopiosatu:

  if you're uncomfortable about it then tell him.

  so should I just end the affection there and then?
• kopiosatu

  2 Jul 06, 21:02

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  so should I just end the affection there and then?

  rather than giving him an e-brake.
  
  why don't u do it gradually. let him know you're not that kinda person. if he fails to respect that, then... he can come holiday with me in thailand
• R3SsH|n

  2 Jul 06, 21:24

  Originally posted by Raining Stars:

  But if he advance like hugging and kissing what should I do? Push him away?
  
  Caused like I say, I do not mind it if we are an item but now, it is just a case of 'connection'?

  if he comes hugging and kissing you...you feel uncomfortable..then definately you shld get him to stop...
  like someone said...gradually will do the trick...
  
  but if you are looking for someone who is more sensual emotionally...then i guess u shld stick to that category...its called "find the right one"
• Ristar

  2 Jul 06, 23:03

  its so obvious that he just wants sex la...
• darknessfall

  2 Jul 06, 23:11

  we are in 2006 now...
  
  there are really very few of you left in singapore, where no kisses or hugs are allowed in a r/s...i must say, to a guy, without such, there is no feeling to be in a r/s..
  
  some honey words/advices like, "if he really loves you, he should accept who you are"...but i must advice you, that is really a good fairy tale...
  true, that you have to accept a person for who he/she is, but certain things, are hard to compromise...
  
  in this case, not even a peck on the cheeks? Hmn..i think you and him have to sit down and talk about it, and probably, it is hard for a guy to accept it..
  to get you as a gf, they will say yes to anything..after going out with you, they will start to persuade you...
  
  conservatives gp like you are rare, and to find a guy who really appreciates and accept you, is endangered..good luck..have a good talk to him and tell him how both of you feel...
• monoslayer

  2 Jul 06, 23:17

  its not advisable to let him get too physical wif u.. initially, he may ask to hold ur hands, den kiss kiss, n gradually he will try to take things further.. if u r not comfortable, jus tell him straight.. anyway, i feel tat all he wan is jus sex..
• CannyOng

  2 Jul 06, 23:20

  I think his so call physical love is hinting you when both of u go in r/s. He wants to have sex with you! Are you still a virgin? If so remain that way! I admit physical contact(Kissing and hugging) can increase a couple bond but is not the critical ingredient for a true r/s to survive. If he really love u,he will not force you! Always remember that b y hard...