Am I just thinking too much?
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Long story short, she introduced me to this guy long ago, in which the following day she confessed to me she slept with him that very night.
Today we are really close and all. And that whole incident still riles me up easily. Like seriously easily, mere mention of his name or anything to do with that night.
For my part, I've approached the problem at different angles like:
1. We weren't together, so all was fair. She led her own life.
2. She merely indulged in a night of carnal pleasure, didn't mean a thing.
3. It's the past, what matters now is how I create a future together with her.
But I find that it's no use, it still bothers me. We've talked about it several times. She said she regretted the whole thing. She said it sorta made her realize she had feelings for me. She even said if it made me feel better she would stop talking to him. But it still bothers me. Honestly, if that guy was her ex, it wouldn't be an issue to me at all.
I post this to ask for your opinions and well, advice. I know what I have with her is precious and I don't want this to be a problem. Thanks. -
What's the status between the both of you?
And how honest is your feelings towards her?
Cheers -
Hmmm more or less together gonna get together kind? I guess this is a factor and by saying "more or less" it adds complications, but ya, just trust me on this, we are pretty damn close.
and my feelings for her are real and honest. -
I'll do a quick review of what i understand. Correct me if i'm wrong.Originally posted by N|ck:Hmmm more or less together gonna get together kind? I guess this is a factor and by saying "more or less" it adds complications, but ya, just trust me on this, we are pretty damn close.
and my feelings for her are real and honest.
Honestly, you're affected by the incident.
This relationship have gotten onto between - relationship and companion - level.
You have yet to know her thoughts about getting into a relationship / discuss about the future.
You're unable to move on from 'that' point because it haunts you.
_
Is this is major obstacle you foresee which prevents the both of you from commiting?
Will it be a constant issue within yourself? Have you come to any conclusion of why have you not been able to let 'it' go? -
I do know her thoughts about getting into a r/s. And I am the one willing to commit for now, not her. Still, we're taking things slowly step by step, which I am comfortable with.Originally posted by M©+square:I'll do a quick review of what i understand. Correct me if i'm wrong.
Honestly, you're affected by the incident.
This relationship have gotten onto between - relationship and companion - level.
You have yet to know her thoughts about getting into a relationship / discuss about the future.
You're unable to move on from 'that' point because it haunts you.
_
Is this is major obstacle you foresee which prevents the both of you from commiting?
Will it be a constant issue within yourself? Have you come to any conclusion of why have you not been able to let 'it' go?
The incident does haunt me, but I do not think it will make us stagnant as in a "major obstacle". I reckon the possibility that in time I will just forget about it.
I do not know whether it will be constant issue. And nope, I've not come to any conclusion to why I can't let it go though I thought about it(refer to my 3 points above). I guess I do feel somewhat cheated cause that night really meant something to me. -
You mentioned that night meant something to you.Originally posted by N|ck:I do know her thoughts about getting into a r/s. And I am the one willing to commit for now, not her. Still, we're taking things slowly step by step, which I am comfortable with.
The incident does haunt me, but I do not think it will make us stagnant as in a "major obstacle". I reckon the possibility that in time I will just forget about it.
I do not know whether it will be constant issue. And nope, I've not come to any conclusion to why I can't let it go though I thought about it(refer to my 3 points above). I guess I do feel somewhat cheated cause that night really meant something to me.
Could you eleborate? -
It's and will not be a problem unless you think that it's a problem...Originally posted by N|ck:Long story short, she introduced me to this guy long ago, in which the following day she confessed to me she slept with him that very night.
Today we are really close and all. And that whole incident still riles me up easily. Like seriously easily, mere mention of his name or anything to do with that night.
For my part, I've approached the problem at different angles like:
1. We weren't together, so all was fair. She led her own life.
2. She merely indulged in a night of carnal pleasure, didn't mean a thing.
3. It's the past, what matters now is how I create a future together with her.
But I find that it's no use, it still bothers me. We've talked about it several times. She said she regretted the whole thing. She said it sorta made her realize she had feelings for me. She even said if it made me feel better she would stop talking to him. But it still bothers me. Honestly, if that guy was her ex, it wouldn't be an issue to me at all.
I post this to ask for your opinions and well, advice. I know what I have with her is precious and I don't want this to be a problem. Thanks.
TNT is what you and her need...Time N Trust... -
Hmm. You mentioned she's unwilling to commitOriginally posted by N|ck:I do know her thoughts about getting into a r/s. And I am the one willing to commit for now, not her. Still, we're taking things slowly step by step, which I am comfortable with.
The incident does haunt me, but I do not think it will make us stagnant as in a "major obstacle". I reckon the possibility that in time I will just forget about it.
I do not know whether it will be constant issue. And nope, I've not come to any conclusion to why I can't let it go though I thought about it(refer to my 3 points above). I guess I do feel somewhat cheated cause that night really meant something to me.
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Can you describe her character for usOriginally posted by N|ck:Long story short, she introduced me to this guy long ago, in which the following day she confessed to me she slept with him that very night.
Today we are really close and all. And that whole incident still riles me up easily. Like seriously easily, mere mention of his name or anything to do with that night.
For my part, I've approached the problem at different angles like:
1. We weren't together, so all was fair. She led her own life.
2. She merely indulged in a night of carnal pleasure, didn't mean a thing.
3. It's the past, what matters now is how I create a future together with her.
But I find that it's no use, it still bothers me. We've talked about it several times. She said she regretted the whole thing. She said it sorta made her realize she had feelings for me. She even said if it made me feel better she would stop talking to him. But it still bothers me. Honestly, if that guy was her ex, it wouldn't be an issue to me at all.
I post this to ask for your opinions and well, advice. I know what I have with her is precious and I don't want this to be a problem. Thanks. -
Hmm does it matter? Just know that I think she's worth it and I like her enough to look past this.Originally posted by Devil1976:Can you describe her character for us -
then her past act will not matter much to you since u like her enough "to look past this?"Originally posted by N|ck:Hmm does it matter? Just know that I think she's worth it and I like her enough to look past this. -
Originally posted by tiggersgd:then her past act will not matter much to you since u like her enough "to look past this?"
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Of course if I bother to ask... It would matter....Originally posted by N|ck:Hmm does it matter? Just know that I think she's worth it and I like her enough to look past this.
How old are the both of you btw...? -
How long have you both known each other....?
How did ya get to know each other....?
Sorry if my question is a bit too 'sharp'....? Pls bear with me for now....? -
+1Originally posted by dcx:It's and will not be a problem unless you think that it's a problem...
TNT is what you and her need...Time N Trust...
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relax dude...its like this...
even married couples dont discuss their past sex lifes with their partners..
there is a sense of uneasiness.
you have to let yourself go of the thoughts, and move on your life with your current partner..thats how life goes..
if you keep harbouring on what she had done before, it will do you no good..
dont tell me, you going to ask ard who is virgin before going out with the person???...hmn... -
If u cant bring ur self to accept her or have trouble doing so..
juz move on brudder -
Yeah I am trying to let go now. Telling myself it doesn't matter and why waste my time and give that guy credit
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Flings and impulsive moments kick harder than past relationships. Question what you want. If you want to be with her, then you have to make the effort to somehow forget it for the sake of both of your happiness. If you think you can't do it, no biggie. Leave. Simple as that.
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Hmm so that's only way? Just forget about it?
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Ah Nick, long time no see u here neh!
Ok la, 3 questions.
Was it just an One Night Stand?
Do u feel betrayed?
Do you fear that she will repeat something like that even when you are together? -
Hey.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Ah Nick, long time no see u here neh!
Ok la, 3 questions.
Was it just an One Night Stand?
Do u feel betrayed?
Do you fear that she will repeat something like that even when you are together?
Ya it was a one night stand
feel somewhat betrayed.
no i dun fear that.
anything pm me i go watch soccer now ha -
at least she confess to u, if she doesn't then i think she isn't true to uOriginally posted by N|ck:Long story short, she introduced me to this guy long ago, in which the following day she confessed to me she slept with him that very night.
Today we are really close and all. And that whole incident still riles me up easily. Like seriously easily, mere mention of his name or anything to do with that night.
For my part, I've approached the problem at different angles like:
1. We weren't together, so all was fair. She led her own life.
2. She merely indulged in a night of carnal pleasure, didn't mean a thing.
3. It's the past, what matters now is how I create a future together with her.
But I find that it's no use, it still bothers me. We've talked about it several times. She said she regretted the whole thing. She said it sorta made her realize she had feelings for me. She even said if it made me feel better she would stop talking to him. But it still bothers me. Honestly, if that guy was her ex, it wouldn't be an issue to me at all.
I post this to ask for your opinions and well, advice. I know what I have with her is precious and I don't want this to be a problem. Thanks. -
What do u think?Originally posted by N|ck:Hmm so that's only way? Just forget about it?
It's either u forget the incident or u leave her (An excuse to forget her)...What's the point of remembering or holding it onto u?
I've worse scenario than yours....not by any forms of betrayal..
So, be glad that she actually confessed to u as she still hold u in a very important place of her heart...
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Hmm....Originally posted by N|ck:Hmm so that's only way? Just forget about it?