Opinions wanted: 2nd date
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I went out with this guy over the weekend, he shows interests in me. But he is so weird, 2nd date tellin me i got small eyes (first time in my eyes someone tell me tat. ok i dun have big eyes, but they are not small), i got dark circles and eyes bags.
I told him nicely he shouldnt say this on 2nd date, otherwise he can forget about the 3rd date. He says he is juz comfortable with me, treat me as a friend. But does he know doin that on 2nd date will make a gal uncomfortable? And therefore destroying any future chances?
Guys, what do u think he is trying to do? -
sori, should've been "(first time in my life someone tell me tat."
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Go easy on the guy, please. He's just trying to be nice.
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Some guys can be really tactless when it comes to dating, so don't look too much into those words yet, especially since it's the first few dates.
Just take him as a friend for now, and see how things go. =) -
he is a nice guy, at least thats what i think so far. but, so weird, aint it? i did try to be nice and tell him smilingly already.... but those remarks make me feel awkard...
Any idea why guys make such remarks? -
Just ONE possible reason is that he ran out of things to say, hence the 'small eyes' comment.
Then when he realized his mistake, he tried to salvage with the 'comfortable with you' comment. =) -
Did he say it in a joking way? If so aren't you being abit over-sensitive over a comment about your eyes? He just said they were small, he didn't say they were ugly?Originally posted by blu_sky:I went out with this guy over the weekend, he shows interests in me. But he is so weird, 2nd date tellin me i got small eyes (first time in my eyes someone tell me tat. ok i dun have big eyes, but they are not small), i got dark circles and eyes bags.
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honestly, it is not so nice to berate your date, esp the first few dates rite? would u want ur date to tell u u are balding? or got big tummy? or got a lot of pimples?
well that is juz like tellin me i got small eyes, dark circles and eye bags. U know all my friends say i got no dark circles or eye bags (ok, they could be really sweet to me). I'm thinking, it is juz not appropriate to say tat on first few dates, dont u think?
And no, he was not joking. It was a comment. -
trying to be comfortable with you lor. its nothing much.
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You're right. He shouldn't have insulted you. It means he's not interested. Best not to go out with him anymore. It ends at the second date.Originally posted by blu_sky:honestly, it is not so nice to berate your date, esp the first few dates rite? would u want ur date to tell u u are balding? or got big tummy? or got a lot of pimples?
well that is juz like tellin me i got small eyes, dark circles and eye bags. U know all my friends say i got no dark circles or eye bags (ok, they could be really sweet to me). I'm thinking, it is juz not appropriate to say tat on first few dates, dont u think?
And no, he was not joking. It was a comment. -
Oops. I did tell a date that she has eyebags too (that's only after I complained about my own eyebags haha), and asked her to sleep more so she'll be even prettier. =p
But hmm, that wasn't first few dates. -
Ok lah... if u know her a while already, may not be that bad. cos it will feel to be more a concern mahOriginally posted by JerzZzzZ:Oops. I did tell a date that she has eyebags too (that's only after I complained about my own eyebags haha), and asked her to sleep more so she'll be even prettier. =p
But hmm, that wasn't first few dates. -
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Not insult lah... but it kind of irks me, and it kind of make me feel repugnant. dun feel like talking to him.Originally posted by choco B:You're right. He shouldn't have insulted you. It means he's not interested. Best not to go out with him anymore. It ends at the second date.
I'm wondering, am i the sensitive one? or my thinking is reasonalbe that a guy/gal ought to be more careful about such negative remarks esp during the first few dates. -
he must be following Gwang's tip on teasing gals to get them excited
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You have certain expectations on how a guy should or should not behave during dates.
He, on the other hand, has different standards on acceptable behavior too. And both your opinions, while valid, are not entirely matching - no big surprise there , because we're all different . So I don't think you can blame him or yourself for that. (Unless he was downright rude or had insulted you, then that's a different story. )
If you don't like what he did , you could either tell him and hope he will respect your sensitivities and won't do it again. Or if he repeatedly makes this faux pas and you can't take it, then don't continue dating him. Not all men will make big changes for a girl they've only dated twice.Originally posted by blu_sky:Not insult lah... but it kind of irks me, and it kind of make me feel repugnant. dun feel like talking to him.
I'm wondering, am i the sensitive one? or my thinking is reasonalbe that a guy/gal ought to be more careful about such negative remarks esp during the first few dates. -
if he genuinely likes u, he will apologise and treat you dinner next time round.
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Good observation you've got!Originally posted by choco B:You have certain expectations on how a guy should or should not behave during dates.
He, on the other hand, has different standards on acceptable behavior too. And both your opinions, while valid, are not entirely matching - no big surprise there , because we're all different . So I don't think you can blame him or yourself for that. (Unless he was downright rude or had insulted you, then that's a different story. )
If you don't like what he did , you could either tell him and hope he will respect your sensitivities and won't do it again. Or if he repeatedly makes this faux pas and you can't take it, then don't continue dating him. Not all men will make big changes for a girl they've only dated twice.
Indeed, i have an expectation of how one (be it gal or guy) should behave during dates, that includes social etiquette and table manners. -
O my.... I am dead like this.... I also commented such things....
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Another question? Do you think it is not appropriate for a guy to drink until high (ok, not drunk) on the first and second date?
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Ya, when a guy is comfortable with a girl..he will tend to make sarcastic remarks..some my friend's guy friends are like that one. Always call them short, fat etc. say prefer chiobu all that but still date them
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why did the both of you go out to places where chap can get drunk anyways ? ....
in anycase, ... wrong frequency liao, why are both of you wasting time on each other ? ... -
Herroin, juz wondering, why did comment on that? hmm... did it cross ur mind tat the gal will be 'pai seh'?Originally posted by Herroin:O my.... I am dead like this.... I also commented such things....
Juz hoping you can provide me some insight on How men think. -
We juz went to a restaurant. After first bottle of wine, he insisted he wanna order the 2nd bottle cos he can handle it. At the end of the nite, i could tell tat he is high, though he insisted he is fine.Originally posted by Fatum:why did the both of you go out to places where chap can get drunk anyways ? ....
in anycase, ... wrong frequency liao, why are both of you wasting time on each other ? ...
why wrong frequency leh?
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Originally posted by blu_sky:We juz went to a restaurant. After first bottle of wine, he insisted he wanna order the 2nd bottle cos he can handle it. At the end of the nite, i could tell tat he is high, though he insisted he is fine.
why wrong frequency leh? 
! .... wine is not beer you know ...... I was part-timing as a waiter for some time, and I've never seen any couple on a date finish even ONE bottle of wine before ....... 
wrong freq cos both of you are reading different things from each other's behaviour, he thinks he's being nice and trying to get close to you, you think he's gotten too close too fast ... obviously does not gel there .... so why bother continuing ......
hope he didn't drink and drive ....