Relationship vs Religion
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Past
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Religion is the root of all evil and the opium of mankind ! ...
maybe the mom got brain-washed by some little-minded priests ! .....
that's why blind faith leads you too ......
a few steps down the road, and we'll find suicide bombers and head cutters ! ....
F the mom, just follow your heart with the girl ... -
I'm not against any particular religion, but ALL organized religion, any whose dogma and clergy closes your mind and narrows your heart, and makes you exclude instead of embracing other people ....
never mind the mom, hold onto your own beliefs, but if your girlfriend feels the same way, and doesn't even think you'll move into the same heaven with her, then things are pointless already, move on ...... you wouldn't want a brain-washed, narrow minded person for a wifey too would you .... -
IÂ’m new to this forum but I wanted to comment on your dilemma since I experienced somewhat a similar situation many years ago. To make a long story short, the way I see it, your dilemma is complicated by 2 factors: her religion and her relationship with her family. Evidently she holds steadfast to both her religion and her familyÂ’s opinion though goodness knows why she bothered becoming your GF if she knew that was part of her evaluation form for potential life-long mates.
It is difficult to argue what is wrong and what is right in the name of religion regarding way of life, heaven or hell, morality. History knows so many people have died in the name of religion. While some similarities exist among different religions human application / practice of it differs immensely ie. Hindu cremate their dead, Muslims donÂ’t but in the end, only you can ascertain what of which or which of what you believe or a comfortable living with and so must your GF for herself. ItÂ’s one thing however to come to an understanding with your GF and another to come to an understanding with third parties like her mother.
For me religion is what you do after the mass / preaching is over not matter what you claim you areÂ…and in line with that, I donÂ’t see whatÂ’s stopping her from helping you at least understand more about her religion rather than brand you for whatever limited exposure might have had to itÂ….wellÂ…those are just some quick thoughts anywayÂ…. -
Here, you will have to make a choice.... You wanna stick with your beliefs, or you wanna stick with your GF? Either way, the choice will only be yours alone. Don't let others make the judgement for you.Originally posted by technoboy:I had a talk with my GF yesterday. Her mum just found out about about us together and objects to it since I am not a christian. She, too, told me that although she have feelings for me, this relationship will not last, main reason is also because I'm not a christian. She also said one of her BF criteria is that he must be a christian.
So I'm really feeling very depressed now. What should I do? I really don't know what to do as I am a strong believer of "seeing is believing". I also tried going to the church but I don't think it is suitable for me. Just feels wierd going there, especially when many strangers come and talk to me.
Really hope people here would be able to advise me on what to do! Should I even try going to the church again and make myself believe in it? (Although I know that at first the main reason for going will be because of her and not because of the religion itself). Or should I just continue to believe in my own things but have the risk of losing her?
*Edit: I hope this thread wouldn't offend anyone of any religion. Just hope posting here would solve my problem. So please be peaceful!
Also, don't enter religion just because of a girl, your heart must be in it to be one... -
Originally posted by Mickie:IÂ’m new to this forum but I wanted to comment on your dilemma since I experienced somewhat a similar situation many years ago. To make a long story short, the way I see it, your dilemma is complicated by 2 factors: her religion and her relationship with her family. Evidently she holds steadfast to both her religion and her familyÂ’s opinion though goodness knows why she bothered becoming your GF if she knew that was part of her evaluation form for potential life-long mates.
It is difficult to argue what is wrong and what is right in the name of religion regarding way of life, heaven or hell, morality. History knows so many people have died in the name of religion. While some similarities exist among different religions human application / practice of it differs immensely ie. Hindu cremate their dead, Muslims donÂ’t but in the end, only you can ascertain what of which or which of what you believe or a comfortable living with and so must your GF for herself. ItÂ’s one thing however to come to an understanding with your GF and another to come to an understanding with third parties like her mother.
For me religion is what you do after the mass / preaching is over not matter what you claim you areÂ…and in line with that, I donÂ’t see whatÂ’s stopping her from helping you at least understand more about her religion rather than brand you for whatever limited exposure might have had to itÂ….wellÂ…those are just some quick thoughts anywayÂ…. -
tough .. her single criteria runs her life and she rather let go a good guy
The question is if you would change yourself just to suit her?
Would she like you after the change?
Would you be able to live with yourself after the change?
She's now only your gf. Its a different story when she's your wife.
Think carefully.
My personal opinion: I hate to be forced to change and I hate threats. These 2 things I will not live by and I would not want my life to bend upside down just because my bf feels my belief systems do not fit his (ie I do not have the freedom to live my life as I wish) and hence I have to give up everything just to be with him or else he will walk (ie. Threaten that I will not have a r/s with him). I would rather tell him to take a hike since he cannot see what a good gf and wife I can be. I can also always find a new BF who can accept me as I am and hence love me as I love him.
If you really think about it, Love is Unconditional as preached by the bible. Why did she make it conditional? -
17 only - Time is on your sideOriginally posted by technoboy:Actually, we're only 17 this year. I also asked her why she accepted me in the first place even though she knew that I wasn't a christian. She told me that she just wanted to give both of us a chance.
Give a chance - yes. Its good. But it also means she expect you to change for her after she tested you out and think you are good enough.
Now, why don't she think that she should change for you instead? ie Adopt a less restrictive religion? Why is it always one way traffic?
There are lots of boys in churches and she does not need to latch onto you and make such unreasonable (to me its is unreasonable) demands. -
How come her mother like that woh, it's like forcing people to do something that they dun want. Don't they understand that if they force others to do something, the person may still do it, but under unwillingly circumstances, and knowing christianity is a religion of faith, how can you force faith upon an unwilling person?
If her mother truly believes in christianity, she may have the faith that someday God will touch upon your life one way or another, and then you will go into the religion willingly, and happily, and accept God truthfully.
If you ask me, maybe you should start a new relationship with someone else, but then again ultimately it's your choice, you are the main character of your movie. -
Past
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Sounds like, sure go ahead and eat the bowl of quality bird nest, as long as you don't use your mouth to consume it.Originally posted by technoboy:Nope, she doesn't force me to believe in christianity. But she OBJECTS her daughter to date someone who isn't a christian... I don't know if that makes sense but yeah... -
I should think that they are looking for a kind and sincere person whether it does or does not come in a package of a god-fearing and church-going person.
I must say though, 17 is pretty young. At the risk of sounding old, youÂ’ll look back at this in the future and wonder what the fuss was about because as complicated as it is and as painful as it in at this moment, I think you just need to answer this between the both of you: how much are you willing to adjust vs. how much is she willing to adjust and after all the adjusting, are you content with who you both are when youÂ’re together?
Just as an afterthought, given your ages, parents have a big influence if they are still supporting you in any form. ItÂ’s a whole new light when youÂ’ve achieved certain priorities and are independent enough to set new ones. -
How long have the both of ya been together?Originally posted by technoboy:Actually, we're only 17 this year. I also asked her why she accepted me in the first place even though she knew that I wasn't a christian. She told me that she just wanted to give both of us a chance. -
Me sympathised with u. Was in the same situation but I have already become a Christian (a lot of things happened). Why not keep an open mind and continue to go with her to church? U dun have to become a Christian now.
And 17 is too young to talk abt marriage.
It is true that a lot of Christian gals will only marry Christians (becoz scriptures say so). But at 17 I dun think marriage is any near and time is indeed on ur side. Dun need to feel sad abt the matter. Just take things one at a time and see what happen. -
her mum knows the best for her as she is thinking in the long term. if ur gf wants to continue, be prepared for a lot of problems. But good luck!Originally posted by technoboy:Nope, she doesn't force me to believe in christianity. But she OBJECTS her daughter to date someone who isn't a christian... I don't know if that makes sense but yeah... -
her mum will get used to it. its not like u are dating her mum
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hmmm... i think right... religion is not a veery good reason... as what other ppl say if she knows you are a non christian, why in the first place accept you? she says maybe giving a chance but isnt that gg deeper into the prob?
just my comments... dont flame me!! 
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Religion should never dictate who you marry.
Why should you go to church just because of one girl?
You are young, and even if you were Xtian, it probably wouldn't last anyway.
And just to add, Xtians are against pre-marital sex.
Girls are all over sg.
There is no reason to convert only because her mother objects. -
I'm not a christian either but my bf is and it doesnt seem to bother him. what difference does it really make? if you're a good person she shouldnt reject you just bcos you're not religious. find someone who can appreciate everything you have to offer.
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Originally posted by technoboy:I had a talk with my GF yesterday. Her mum just found out about about us together and objects to it since I am not a christian. She, too, told me that although she have feelings for me, this relationship will not last, main reason is also because I'm not a christian. She also said one of her BF criteria is that he must be a christian.
So I'm really feeling very depressed now. What should I do? I really don't know what to do as I am a strong believer of "seeing is believing". I also tried going to the church but I don't think it is suitable for me. Just feels wierd going there, especially when many strangers come and talk to me.
Really hope people here would be able to advise me on what to do! Should I even try going to the church again and make myself believe in it? (Although I know that at first the main reason for going will be because of her and not because of the religion itself). Or should I just continue to believe in my own things but have the risk of losing her?
*Edit: I hope this thread wouldn't offend anyone of any religion. Just hope posting here would solve my problem. So please be peaceful! 
Another... Jupiter-based BGR problems.
It's so tricky to handle that you will probably see yourself giving up altogether because it takes MUCH endurance to face up to this daunting challenge and its duration would stretch for YEARS.
Is your Love strong enough to surmount this crisis? I don't know... considering that you are still so young.
Yunhaier's take is that if Religion matters more than Love and you are unable to conform, then allow her to pursue what she wills. This is not about communication nor expectation - it's more about parallel mindset that would never meet. It is true that some couples managed to overcome this hurdle, but that's because their mutual focus is on Love and not religion on the whole.
They fight to preserve their Love and not bow to 'human agents' acting on the pretext of 'God's Word'.
If it's truly God's will and God wants you to leave her - your Love will surely crumble with time to come and fade into memories.
But what if God didn't want it that way?
What if God didn't want to intervene at all and leave it to freewill to decide?
Zealous 'human agents' are trying to justify with all sort of reasoning - when in fact, the main reason is because you are different and people dislike unfamiliarity. They would prefer something more 'familiar' or similar. It is the same with race, with status and all other aspects that place people on measuring scale that categorise us.
The truth is that Love and Religion are two separate entities. Zealous humans lump them together.
If your woman can't see that - then, you may consider heeding for the exit or prepare for a lengthy, drudgery fight in name of Love.
Cheers -
CheersOriginally posted by Yunhaier:The truth is that Love and Religion are two separate entities. Zealous humans lump them together.
Cheers -
face it
it is not easy when pple of different faiths come together
consider carefully when u want to start a relationship, to avoid any pains in the future. -
The great French king Henri IV reputedly said that Paris was worth a Mass when he converted from Protestantism to Catholicism in order to gain the crown. So if you think your girlfriend is worth it, why not convert? However, if you really feel that Christianity is not for you and your girlfriend has made it abundantly clear that there's no future for the two of you if you do not convert, then I guess it's best to break the relationship.
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Actually , in the bible , there are verses which object to such relationships..but then different people interpret in different ways. Some people think its preferable for a Christian to be with a Christian but its not a must while for others , it is considered a sin if a Christian ends up being with a non-believer.Originally posted by kikq:I'm not a christian either but my bf is and it doesnt seem to bother him. what difference does it really make? if you're a good person she shouldnt reject you just bcos you're not religious. find someone who can appreciate everything you have to offer.
Not sure about your bf's reaction to this, maybe he doesnt mind u being a non Christian or he has allowed his feelings to be prioritised over this. -
Just imagine she is a muslim! Once u marry her liao,you die,die must convert. Got circumcise ma? Can afford not to eat yr tasty pork ma? Can understand Arabic? And a lot to follow....
