My Girlfriend was raped.
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Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how... -
first tell us your true identity.
no point we being earnest in wanting to help you, but u not being truthful to us.
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Go see a counsellor or psychiatrist. nothing else can be done already.
oh yar check for any hiv transmitted disease. -
Can you please bring her to a professional counsellor?
- that is, if she's still affected greatly by the incident.
Unfortunately, a boyfriend could only help to a certain extend.
Another portion of help comes from herself. And possible option are external aid.
Ask your girlfriend to consider?
Cheers -
how about go to the nearest police station, and report this
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Ahem...the incident happened 4 years ago.Originally posted by mhcampboy:Go see a counsellor or psychiatrist. nothing else can be done already.
oh yar check for any hiv transmitted disease. -
HIV, starting not much signs de ma..Originally posted by M©+square:Ahem...the incident happened 4 years ago. -
excuse, hiv infected person sometimes do not know they are infected and can appear healthy and walk around us. one may never be too sure about this kind of things...Originally posted by M©+square:Ahem...the incident happened 4 years ago. -
Four years, and she doesn't know the man, or recognise him.
She's not greatly affected, because it was four years ago after all, but she tend to shy away from guys.
And stellazio, I would tell you guys if I could, but my GF's best friend (who is not in the knowing) knows my main account here, and if she happens to come here, all chaos will break loose. -
In cases such as these, the only thing I can really think of is to send her for professional counselling. Rape isn't something to be taken lightly, and no advice on a forum site can ever take the place of professional counselling.
At the same time, the best thing you can do for her is to be a strong pillar of support for her to lean on. Don't talk to her about the incident unless if she brings up the issue first. And once she talks about it, offer to send her for professional counselling.
I'm sure there are lots of services out there for these sort of things - AWARE might be a good place to start. You can read about the services they can offer to your girlfriend here:
http://www.aware.org.sg/content/blogcategory/35/156/
Good luck, and take care. -
Encourage her to talk about it until she is so sian to talk about it anymore... that should bring out all the hidden issues in her head out into the open so that she can deal with it... but don't force her. Just encourage her to talk more and more whenever she brings up the topic. You can do that by asking her questions and asking her to clarify and asking her about the details. Just don't tell her shut up about it already. Let her in her own time and she herself will get sick of talking about it.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how... -
Fair enough, threadstarter is concerned about his girlfriend.Originally posted by mhcampboy:excuse, hiv infected person sometimes do not know they are infected and can appear healthy and walk around us. one may never be too sure about this kind of things...
Shall we not get too scientific about disease or whatsoever?
Thanks.
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so?Originally posted by M©+square:Ahem...the incident happened 4 years ago.
I heard that rape trauma can last for life. -
ok. but like what MC said earlier, there's not much u can do except to love her whole heartedly and hopefully she'll trust again and soon enough back to normal.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years, and she doesn't know the man, or recognise him.
She's not greatly affected, because it was four years ago after all, but she tend to shy away from guys.
And stellazio, I would tell you guys if I could, but my GF's best friend (who is not in the knowing) knows my main account here, and if she happens to come here, all chaos will break loose. -
Get professional help rather than asking from Netizens , also consult GF 1st regarding counselling.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years, and she doesn't know the man, or recognise him.
She's not greatly affected, because it was four years ago after all, but she tend to shy away from guys.
And stellazio, I would tell you guys if I could, but my GF's best friend (who is not in the knowing) knows my main account here, and if she happens to come here, all chaos will break loose.
Its good to know that you are concerned too and be a pillar of support.
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as for HIV; you can get an anonymous test done for $20 dollars at Kelantan Lane on Wednesday evenings, I think. Near Thieves Market at Sungei road (Jalan Besar; one or two bus stops before Sin Lim)
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Fuck. STDs. I totally forgot about it.
I don't know, how can I actually bring that up to her? She wouldn't agree - even her parents didn't know about the incident. And we're only sixteen. If we see the doctor, her parents would know, and that's something she's willing to avoid at all cost. -
Pics of gf?
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YOU ARE ONLY 16!!??Originally posted by webbdavid:Fuck. STDs. I totally forgot about it.
I don't know, how can I actually bring that up to her? She wouldn't agree - even her parents didn't know about the incident. And we're only sixteen. If we see the doctor, her parents would know, and that's something she's willing to avoid at all cost.
Sigh... bring her to the Children's Guidance Clinic. its a clinical arm of Institute of Mental Health. Bring her there. Cost is not a factor cos it will be subsidized by government.
Have you had sex with her honestly? If yes then you check it yourself see if you are infected as well. -
omg. she was raped at 12???????
thats terrid man.
send her for counselling!
child rape very serious one! -
16 still under parents consent?i thought 16 legal age liao.not sure bout those checkup rules though, cuz i thought the patient has the right to remain anonymous.Originally posted by webbdavid:Fuck. STDs. I totally forgot about it.
I don't know, how can I actually bring that up to her? She wouldn't agree - even her parents didn't know about the incident. And we're only sixteen. If we see the doctor, her parents would know, and that's something she's willing to avoid at all cost. -
Two problems - her financial situation is not good. Parents earn less than 2k per month.
Second - She doesn't want her parents to know. -
Hmm, excuse me.. but can we at least respect the victim?Originally posted by Cenarious:Pics of gf? -
The CGC wont informed the parents. Kelantan lane Clinic also wont infrom parents i think.Originally posted by webbdavid:Two problems - her financial situation is not good. Parents earn less than 2k per month.
Second - She doesn't want her parents to know. -
It is anonymous, they will not take down your particulars... they give you a number when you go in and collect $20 from you. Then they take your blood and test it. Wait a while and they call your number and tell you the results.Originally posted by webbdavid:Fuck. STDs. I totally forgot about it.
I don't know, how can I actually bring that up to her? She wouldn't agree - even her parents didn't know about the incident. And we're only sixteen. If we see the doctor, her parents would know, and that's something she's willing to avoid at all cost.
Before they take your blood they will ask you some questions like whether you had unprotected sex and so on...
But they don't do STD, they only do HIV.
It is run by action for aids.