My Girlfriend was raped.
-
Wednesday evening? Where can I get more information about this?
And about that CGC, again, where can I get more information? -
The Children's Guidance Clinic. If you are 18 and below you are eligible for it. Its located at Institute of mental Health.Originally posted by webbdavid:Wednesday evening? Where can I get more information about this?
And about that CGC, again, where can I get more information?
Check the link if you are interested.
http://www.imh.com.sg/our_services/child_guidance%20.htm -
# Anonymous HIV antibody testing and counselling centre (offered by Action for AIDS)Originally posted by webbdavid:Wednesday evening? Where can I get more information about this?
And about that CGC, again, where can I get more information?
# DSC Clinic (Anonymous testing)
Blk 31 Kelantan Lane #02-16
Tel: 6254 0212
Testing and counselling:
Tuesdays: 6.30 to 8.00 pm
Wednesdays: 6.30 to 8.00 pm
Saturdays: 1.30 to 3.30 pm
(except on public holidays) CLICK anywhere above for link. -
Yes, I've found that site via Google already.
Located at Institute of Mental Health? That's Hougang right? It's across the street from my house. -.- -
Great. yes its at hougang. its government. so it will be heavily subsidized.Originally posted by webbdavid:Yes, I've found that site via Google already.
Located at Institute of Mental Health? That's Hougang right? It's across the street from my house. -.- -
lol test for hiv for what? if u find out u got hiv you expect to die earlier only and got that on your mind until you die. pointless right.
-
I can understand what she's going through right now. Think you should not do anything to help her at this moment. What she doesn't need now is your help or your sympathy. She need more love and concern and alot of patience from you right now. Do assure her that you are not going to engage in any sexual activities with her against her will. Think this worries her more than anything else.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how...
Do treat her like normally and she certainly doesn't want you to make her feel special, cos she will feel even worse if she get special treatment from you. She must've trusted you alot to tell you this thing, so make sure you be more sensitive towards her feelings and assured her that you will love and treasure her more than ever since she's willing to let you know about her past.
Whatever happens in the future, MAKE SURE YOU LOVE HER.
Good luck.
-
Seems to me that most people here are more concerned about the disease than threadstarter's gf issue in her heart.
-
affairs of the heart, not much we can help because this is more of the psychological side. but we do the next best possible thing and that is the physical part of it.Originally posted by M©+square:Seems to me that most people here are more concerned about the disease than threadstarter's gf issue in her heart. -
SorryOriginally posted by webbdavid:Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how...
-
dun be so bastard leh.Originally posted by rathcycle:Sorry -
If you think it helps. Ok.Originally posted by stellazio:affairs of the heart, not much we can help because this is more of the psychological side. but we do the next best possible thing and that is the physical part of it. -
well i think it did, because the thread starter admitted that he totally forgotten about the STD part, and the other peeps gave him details on the various places to get it done.Originally posted by M©+square:If you think it helps. Ok. -
Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome or Acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS or Aids) is a collection of symptoms and infections in humans resulting from the specific damage to the immune system caused by infection with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).[1] The late stage of the condition leaves individuals prone to opportunistic infections and tumors. Although treatments for AIDS and HIV exist to slow the virus's progression, there is no known cure. HIV is transmitted through direct contact of a mucous membrane or the bloodstream with a bodily fluid containing HIV, such as blood, semen, vaginal fluid, preseminal fluid, and breast milk.[2][3] This transmission can come in the form of anal, vaginal or oral sex, blood transfusion, contaminated needles, exchange between mother and baby during pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding, or other exposure to one of the above bodily fluids.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how...
Most researchers believe that HIV originated in sub-Saharan Africa during the twentieth century;[4] it is now a pandemic, with an estimated 38.6 million people now living with the disease worldwide.[5] As of January 2006, the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) and the World Health Organization (WHO) estimate that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people since it was first recognized on December 1, 1981, making it one of the most destructive epidemics in recorded history. In 2005 alone, AIDS claimed an estimated 2.4 - 3.3 million lives, of which more than 570,000 were children.[5] A third of these deaths are occurring in sub-Saharan Africa, retarding economic growth and destroying human capital. Antiretroviral treatment reduces both the mortality and the morbidity of HIV infection, but routine access to antiretroviral medication is not available in all countries.[6] HIV/AIDS stigma is more severe than that associated with other life-threatening conditions and extends beyond the disease itself to providers and even volunteers involved with the care of people living with HIV. -
The symptoms of AIDS are primarily the result of conditions that do not normally develop in individuals with healthy immune systems. Most of these conditions are infections caused by bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites that are normally controlled by the elements of the immune system that HIV damages. Opportunistic infections are common in people with AIDS.[18] HIV affects nearly every organ system. People with AIDS also have an increased risk of developing various cancers such as Kaposi sarcoma, cervical cancer and cancers of the immune system known as lymphomas.
Additionally, people with AIDS often have systemic symptoms of infection like fevers, sweats (particularly at night), swollen glands, chills, weakness, and weight loss.[19][20] After the diagnosis of AIDS is made, the current average survival time with antiretroviral therapy is estimated to be now more than 5 years,[21] but because new treatments continue to be developed and because HIV continues to evolve resistance to treatments, estimates of survival time are likely to continue to change. Without antiretroviral therapy, death normally occurs within a year.[7] Most patients die from opportunistic infections or malignancies associated with the progressive failure of the immune system.[22]
The rate of clinical disease progression varies widely between individuals and has been shown to be affected by many factors such as host susceptibility and immune function[8][9][12] health care and co-infections,[7][22] as well as factors relating to the viral strain.[14][23][24] The specific opportunistic infections that AIDS patients develop depend in part on the prevalence of these infections in the geographic area in which the patient lives.
[edit]
Major pulmonary illnesses
Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia (originally known as Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, often-abbreviated PCP) is relatively rare in healthy, immunocompetent people but common among HIV-infected individuals. Before the advent of effective diagnosis, treatment and routine prophylaxis in Western countries, it was a common immediate cause of death. In developing countries, it is still one of the first indications of AIDS in untested individuals, although it does not generally occur unless the CD4 count is less than 200 per µL.[25]
Tuberculosis (TB) is unique among infections associated with HIV because it is transmissible to immunocompetent people via the respiratory route, is easily treatable once identified, may occur in early-stage HIV disease, and is preventable with drug therapy. However, multi-drug resistance is a potentially serious problem. Even though its incidence has declined because of the use of directly observed therapy and other improved practices in Western countries, this is not the case in developing countries where HIV is most prevalent. In early-stage HIV infection (CD4 count >300 cells per µL), TB typically presents as a pulmonary disease. In advanced HIV infection, TB often presents atypically with extrapulmonary disease a common feature. Symptoms are usually constitutional and are not localized to one particular site, often affecting bone marrow, bone, urinary and gastrointestinal tracts, liver, regional lymph nodes, and the central nervous system.[26] Alternatively, symptoms may relate more to the site of extrapulmonary involvement. -
Major gastro-intestinal illnesses
Esophagitis is an inflammation of the lining of the lower end of the esophagus (gullet or swallowing tube leading to the stomach). In HIV infected individuals, this is normally due to fungal (candidiasis) or viral (herpes simplex-1 or cytomegalovirus) infections. In rare cases, it could be due to mycobacteria.[27]
Unexplained chronic diarrhea in HIV infection is due to many possible causes, including common bacterial (Salmonella, Shigella, Listeria, Campylobacter, or Escherichia coli) and parasitic infections, and uncommon opportunistic infections such as cryptosporidiosis, microsporidiosis, Mycobacterium avium complex (MAC) and cytomegalovirus (CMV) colitis. In some cases, diarrhea may be a side effect of several drugs used to treat HIV, or it may simply accompany HIV infection, particularly during primary HIV infection. It may also be a side effect of antibiotics used to treat bacterial causes of diarrhea (common for Clostridium difficile). In the later stages of HIV infection, diarrhea is thought to be a reflection of changes in the way the intestinal tract absorbs nutrients, and may be an important component of HIV-related wasting.[28]
[edit]
Major neurological illnesses
Toxoplasmosis is a disease caused by the single-celled parasite called Toxoplasma gondii; it usually infects the brain causing toxoplasma encephalitis but it can infect and cause disease in the eyes and lungs.[29]
Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML) is a demyelinating disease, in which the gradual destruction of the myelin sheath covering the axons of nerve cells impairs the transmission of nerve impulses. It is caused by a virus called JC virus which occurs in 70% of the population in latent form, causing disease only when the immune system has been severely weakened, as is the case for AIDS patients. It progresses rapidly, usually causing death within months of diagnosis.[30]
AIDS dementia complex (ADC) is a metabolic encephalopathy induced by HIV infection and fuelled by immune activation of HIV infected brain macrophages and microglia which secrete neurotoxins of both host and viral origin.[31] Specific neurological impairments are manifested by cognitive, behavioral, and motor abnormalities that occur after years of HIV infection and is associated with low CD4+ T cell levels and high plasma viral loads. Prevalence is 10-20% in Western countries[32] but only 1-2% of HIV infections in India.[33][34] This difference is possibly due to the HIV subtype in India.
Cryptococcal meningitis is an infection of the meninx (the membrane covering the brain and spinal cord) by the fungus Cryptococcus neoformans. It can cause fevers, headache, fatigue, nausea, and vomiting. Patients may also develop seizures and confusion; left untreated, it can be lethal.
[edit]
Major HIV-associated malignancies
Patients with HIV infection have substantially increased incidence of several malignant cancers. This is primarily due to co-infection with an oncogenic DNA virus, especially Epstein-Barr virus (EBV), Kaposi's sarcoma-associated herpesvirus (KSHV), and human papillomavirus (HPV).[35][36] The following confer a diagnosis of AIDS when they occur in an HIV-infected person.
Kaposi's sarcoma (KS) is the most common tumor in HIV-infected patients. The appearance of this tumor in young homosexual men in 1981 was one of the first signals of the AIDS epidemic. Caused by a gammaherpes virus called Kaposi's sarcoma-associated herpes virus (KSHV), it often appears as purplish nodules on the skin, but can affect other organs, especially the mouth, gastrointestinal tract, and lungs.
High-grade B cell lymphomas such as Burkitt's lymphoma, Burkitt's-like lymphoma, diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL), and primary central nervous system lymphoma present more often in HIV-infected patients. These particular cancers often foreshadow a poor prognosis. In some cases these lymphomas are AIDS-defining. Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) or KSHV cause many of these lymphomas.
Cervical cancer in HIV-infected women is considered AIDS-defining. It is caused by human papillomavirus (HPV).
In addition to the AIDS-defining tumors listed above, HIV-infected patients are at increased risk of certain other tumors, such as Hodgkin's disease and anal and rectal carcinomas. However, the incidence of many common tumors, such as breast cancer or colon cancer, does not increase in HIV-infected patients. In areas where HAART is extensively used to treat AIDS, the incidence of many AIDS-related malignancies has decreased, but at the same time malignant cancers overall have become the most common cause of death of HIV-infected patients.[37] -
Economic impact
Changes in life expectancy in several African countries. Botswana
Zimbabwe
Kenya
South Africa
Uganda
HIV and AIDS retard economic growth by destroying human capital. UNAIDS has predicted outcomes for sub-Saharan Africa to the year 2025. These range from a plateau and eventual decline in deaths beginning around 2012 to a catastrophic continual growth in the death rate with potentially 90 million cases of infection.[5]
Without proper nutrition, health care and medicine that is available in developed countries, large numbers of people in these countries are falling victim to AIDS. They will not only be unable to work, but will also require significant medical care. The forecast is that this will likely cause a collapse of economies and societies in the region. In some heavily infected areas, the epidemic has left behind many orphans cared for by elderly grandparents.
The increased mortality in this region will result in a smaller skilled population and labor force.[85] This smaller labor force will be predominantly young people, with reduced knowledge and work experience leading to reduced productivity. An increase in workersÂ’ time off to look after sick family members or for sick leave will also lower productivity. Increased mortality will also weaken the mechanisms that generate human capital and investment in people, through loss of income and the death of parents.[85] By killing off mainly young adults, AIDS seriously weakens the taxable population, reducing the resources available for public expenditures such as education and health services not related to AIDS resulting in increasing pressure for the state's finances and slower growth of the economy. This then results in slower growth of the tax base, an effect that will be reinforced if there are growing expenditures on treating the sick, training (to replace sick workers) and sick pay and caring for AIDS orphans, especially if the sharp increase in adult mortality shifts the onus from the family to the government in caring for these orphans.
On the level of the household, AIDS results in both the loss of income and increased spending on healthcare by the household. The income effects of this lead to spending reduction as well as a substitution effect away from education and towards healthcare and funeral spending. A study in Côte d'Ivoire showed that households with an HIV/AIDS patient spent twice as much on medical expenses as other households.[86]
UNAIDS, WHO and the United Nations Development Programme have documented a correlation between the decreasing life expectancies and the lowering of gross national product in many African countries with prevalence rates of 10% or more. Indeed, since 1992 predictions that AIDS would slow economic growth in these countries have been published. The degree of impact depended on assumptions about the extent to which illness would be funded by savings and who would be infected.[87] Conclusions reached from models of the growth trajectories of 30 sub-Saharan economies over the period 1990–2025 were that the economic growth rates of these countries would be between 0.56 and 1.47% lower. The impact on gross domestic product (GDP) per capita was less conclusive. However, in 2000, the rate of growth of Africa's per capita GDP was in fact reduced by 0.7% per year from 1990–1997 with a further 0.3% per year lower in countries also affected by malaria.[88] The forecast now is that the growth of GDP for these countries will undergo a further reduction of between 0.5 and 2.6% per annum.[85] However, these estimates may be an underestimate, as they do not look at the effects on output per capita.[89]
Many governments in sub-Saharan Africa denied that there was a problem for years, and are only now starting to work towards solutions. Underfunding is a problem in all areas of HIV prevention when compared to even conservative estimates of the problems.
now u know the prob
move ur ass and do smth! -
Olala: I appreciate if you could provide us with the link.
Sigh.... -
i type it out manually
-
Good explanation, genuine clone u are. However, professional help is what your GF really needs not the forum.Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years, and she doesn't know the man, or recognise him.
She's not greatly affected, because it was four years ago after all, but she tend to shy away from guys.
And stellazio, I would tell you guys if I could, but my GF's best friend (who is not in the knowing) knows my main account here, and if she happens to come here, all chaos will break loose.
If she can move on, best be if not, seek the professionals. -
sOo hard working sia...Originally posted by olala:i type it out manually
aniway really feel sorry fer wat happen tu tt victim..sob..
reminds mie of sumthings tuU..
but its over..! -
good on u for coming forth to seek help.
I think the short-term main obstacle now would be to get ur gf to open up, see a counsellor, as recommended by many other forumers. Because ur gf was only 12 when she was sexually assaulted, and she's still only 16 now, there could be many more psychological / emotional effects than both of you can see now.
Healing without a counsellor's help can happen, but it takes more time and may not be complete. Her distrust of men now will likely deepen as she grows older and this may also affect her future choices with men.. the only way to prevent this is to have her sort it out.. don't let her keep it all inside.
It may seem like a small thorn in her side now, but it could turn out to be her kryponite.
all the best to you both. -
Perhaps we should ask why your gf decides to talk about it. She didn't want to report and let people know about it just to punish the culprit.
Perhaps she wants to be truthful to you and knows that you do not mind her past.
perhaps the incident had been constantly on her mind and she hopes that by sharing with someone she could trust, she might be able to forget about it.
Or it could be that she is confuse and unsure what to do.
Anyway, I thought its better to find the cause first before the solution. -
hi~
i feel sorry for ur gf.
As a girl myself, I know, that is definitely a deep impact to her.
Although it has been 4 yrs, but I believe she will never forget.
If not handled with care, she might get a phobia of sex and be wary of men also.
I duno why she suddenly told u about her being raped.. perhaps it was bcos u two have progressed to a more intimate stage.. If my guess is right, then pls do not push her to do something that she dun feel comfortable with. I dun care what is the legal age blah blah..
I believe she told u bcos she has faith in you, she trust you. Trust me, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone she loves about something like this.
what u can do is to be there for her, help her walk out of that terrible past.
I'm not very concerned whether she will be infected with STDs or AIDS, instead, I'm more concerned about her mental growth and whether she can get over that nightmare.
Seek professional help, let her talk to someone..
Helplines -
Wah... so gentleman ar?Originally posted by webbdavid:Four years ago, she was raped - by an unknown middle-age bastard.
She didn't report to the police, and told no one about the incident. After one year of relationship, she mustered her courage and told me. Although she seems okay, I can tell she's still troubled. And I can understand - I want to help her, but I don't know how...
Frankly speaking, if I know my gf get raped by some dirty old jerk before, I will find some chance to dump her...
Just my 1 cent... Cheers.