Originally posted by needloveNOW:
i'm 14 this year... and i fell for my friend's sister... who is only secondary1... and i'm okay at my studies and confident that my grades won't be like kanasai after i have myself a gf...so should i ask her out or should i not and if i should ask , then how should i ask? very paiseh as it is my friend's sis
You "fell" for you friend's sister. Is this the 1st time? You must know that the 1st experience of "feelings", some say "puppy love" is simply an infatuation and not those kind where you say, "Ah, she is the one for me for life".
How long do you know her? How well do you know her? Is she being sec 1 (a year younger than you) an issue to you, like age diff maybe got some difficulty getting along?
Are you sure you will be "okay" in your studies and confident your grades will not be affected? There are many people who think exactly the same too and their grades dropped after they are attached.
Do know that you are in your puberty time and its natural to have raging hormones and such. Its a trying period for all who reached this age. They will experience love, hate, rebellion, peer pressure, changes in general.
I will NOT tell you to forget about dating her and concentrate your studies, its your life and I have no rights to do so. All I can tell you is the consequences you may have to face if you decide to date her. I can also tell you that UNLESS you are very clear in what you are doing, the 2 of you will not be dating for long.
There is nothing wrong in asking her out. You can do so as friends and there is less pressure looking at her as one. If either of you feels uncomfortable going out 1 on 1, get your friend to join in. There is nothing paiseh about unless you REALLY care about what others think. If that is the case, you might as well don't even ask.
You can also ask your friends or classmates who are around the same age as you regarding this, but most likely they are in the same maturity level or higher by a little, thus cannot tell you the answers you are looking for. If you have friends who are way older than you, eg. 19, you can also ask them what they did when they were young.
Similarly you can ask your parents for advice IF you think they will not freak out hearing you wanna date the girl. It is the parents responsibilities to educate their kids on such issues and more during times of puberty. You can also consult any teachers whom you feel COMFORTABLE with, they can help you too. Do not be afraid to ask them because afterall, they were once 14 years olds.
