I can't get over a girl.
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So you cheated on her is it?
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Do you really think she cared?Originally posted by iSpeak:I always thought of myself as being emotionally strong.
Being a guy and all. I was determined not to let a dumping bring me down. I confess it is an ego thing. The she-didn't-mean-much-to-me-anyway sour grapes syndrome. Hell, the fact that I am actually appealing for help on an online Aunt Agony forum is a hell of a bruise to my pride. Again, that macho-guy-I-can-handle-anything comes into play.
Yes ladies, males are assholes.
But I cannot lie to myself. I am still crazily in love with her. I catch myself doodling her name, almost subconsciously. I suddenly became self-aware of how gorgeous she actually is - beautiful face and hot body. Nice boobs and tight butt. It's funny how I have never appreciated how pretty she truly is.
After all, I did not fall for her looks when I first went out with her. Beauty is only skin-deep and that rings true for me. She just had this ability to make a broody guy like me smile alot. And that, dear friends, is what had truly melted my heart to pieces about her. She was such a happy soul, and happiness as they say is infectious.
But alas, I proved too much of an asshole for her. Feel like smacking myself for letting slip such a babe. There are many qualities about me she dislikes. I am a rather unruly and vulgar person, as well being rather unrestrained in my promiscuousness (I leave that open to your interpretation). My mistaken impression was that she was willing to accept my faults. I was wrong. And I do not blame her at all. For I am a first rate bast-rd at times.
Right now, I can safely say it is affecting me badly - her absence. I live out my days with no motivation going on. My work is in a mess. My mind is in a mess. I have alot of tasks to sort out right now, in a crucial part of the year. But I just cannot seem to focus. Jumping off tall heights sounds faintly attractive. My temper and behaviour has gotten even worse than before.
Help me people.
A part of me wants so badly to win her heart back. So badly. But I feel that she just would not accept me anymore.
Another part of me, the rationale and logical voice within me, tells me to move on and forget her. But the thought of forgetting her truly torments me.
She may love you in the start but slowly she finds that you do not really care about her so she goes off..
Is another case of never treasure what you have, when you have it.
No worries you are just going through rejection phase.
Is your ego thats hurt only.
Soon is off to another girl
think i am wrong?
lets do a test.
Even she take you back will you change your ways for her?
There is no promise she will run again.
so are you willing to take the chance?
If not then go. -
Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy!Originally posted by Cenarious:Seems like suicide is your only option.
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+1 and ban.Originally posted by the.owl:Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy! -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:sometimes it's not advisable to tell someone everything abt ur past..
that's my personal opinion..
coz i also need to move on from my past.. dun want anyone to remind me of things that I dun want to remember..
that's why i always keep things to myself..
On the contrary, in a counselling session. The more the counsellee shares about himself or the situation and and holds nothing back.
The more efficient the release and hence a successful counsel.
Keyword::: Willingness
Counselling doesn't rely much on who the Counsellor IS(regardless of popularity), but the weight relies heavily on how much the counsellee wants to be helped.
Of course, a seasoned counsellor will have skills to draw counsellee to reveal important infomation. But it ultimately depends on C'lee.
Not wanting to be reminded of past experiences are one of the ways which humans try to supress their fears, worries and weaknesses.
They hardly got out of the past, they just hid it in the closet. Which will affect their development and thought process when they age.
There could be other methods of release - like Self therapy, Self awareness and Enlightenment etc.
The litmus test(of self help) always comes 10-15years later.
Conclusion,
If one needs help or advise. It is necessary to reveal vital infomation and most imporantly; he/she must be willing to talk.
Thru active participation of counselling.
Practical action/suggestions could be taken to guide c'lee to the right course, and finding freedom.
Cheers -
Well.. this is fr one of a millionth gal out there point of view (doesn't mean that I m that far out or unique but just some opinions fr an unknown gal)Originally posted by iSpeak:Some of the replies in this thread have really struck home.
To threadstarter:
If you are a nut who cares more for your face and pride than the love for that gal, then do the necessary thing. Let her go. The decision is painful and hurting for you, but is necessary for her. By attempting to keep her for yourself when you know you love yourself more than you love her smacks full of selfishness, and you don't deserve her.
Thank you for your open criticalness, really appreciate it.
But no, I do not love myelf more than her.
Then again, you have really taught me something. Perhaps I am loving myself more than her? What gives? Why can't I just humble myself and admit that I am not exactly Mr. Perfect? Am I too great, too good for her that I just cannot bring myself to ask for a second chance? Too embarrassed that she dumped me? The key word would be bitterness.
I have never thought of myself as an overbearing self-absorbed idiot, but maybe I just need to look into the mirror a little more.
Thank you all for your comments. I have accepted everything with openness. Some of you here, in all your candidness and frankness, have really offered me pearls of wisdom. Perhaps I will never again make it with her. But I have grown a little wiser from this experience.
In summary, the lesson I learnt : Stop behaving like some ceeba- kia.
This seems like a case of you dunno wat treasure you've lost until you've lost it and then missed it sorely.Why can't I just humble myself and admit that I am not exactly Mr. Perfect? Am I too great, too good for her that I just cannot bring myself to ask for a second chance? Too embarrassed that she dumped me?
I do not know very much abt the character of your gal. But in my point of view (just been thru with a relationship as well), if she still have some feelings for you, if you'd just profess how regretful you had been and that you'd be willing to change for the better for her sake as well as for your sake (no empty promises pls), she might just give you a second chance...The key word would be bitterness.
So wat did bitterness do for you? You've said you cant get over her. So are you willing to risk your pride, your "ceeba- kia-ness" to try woo her all over again if you've said you can't get over her? If you can't, then to me it is not her that you can't get over, it is your disbelief how you cld hv lost a gal like her. You just can't get over how a smart alec like you cld hv done that...
So if you really love her THAT MUCH, I believe it's more of persisting to show her relentlessly how much you really like her. To really give your all. To try that one last attempt that you've been really sincere in your love to her no matter whether it fails or succeeds. If you are that sure she wld be the one for you, do whatever it takes. At least you've tried. You wont be "bitter" at least when rocking your chair away in old age.
Grab every opportunity! Dun look back at wat's already been. Look forward if you want a future with her. If you really love, go on and show it to her! Know wat she like and doesn't. And please her if she is really worth your while.But no, I do not love myelf more than her.
If she's really the classy chick as much as you've painted the pic of her here, she MUST BE WORTH THE WHILE !
Best wishes to you. -
So now u learned your lesson
and its time to show some remorse and actions
Move it m.o.fo
face that wall and chant ur hopless
kkk move the arse! -
I am in the same situation as u now. There is nothing we can do, all i know is if u really love her let her go . Sooner or later , u will find another one that suits u. All it take is time , life still have to go on
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I think iSpeak is too smart for that...Originally posted by the.owl:Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy! -
Hah. It's the 14th of October.
I reeled her back in. -
congratz on your part then. Dun be a jerk and lose hr again.Originally posted by iSpeak:Hah. It's the 14th of October.
I reeled her back in. -
Good for you. Treasure her or I might be next in the queue?Originally posted by iSpeak:Hah. It's the 14th of October.
I reeled her back in. 