Do you really think she cared?Originally posted by iSpeak:I always thought of myself as being emotionally strong.
Being a guy and all. I was determined not to let a dumping bring me down. I confess it is an ego thing. The she-didn't-mean-much-to-me-anyway sour grapes syndrome. Hell, the fact that I am actually appealing for help on an online Aunt Agony forum is a hell of a bruise to my pride. Again, that macho-guy-I-can-handle-anything comes into play.
Yes ladies, males are assholes.
But I cannot lie to myself. I am still crazily in love with her. I catch myself doodling her name, almost subconsciously. I suddenly became self-aware of how gorgeous she actually is - beautiful face and hot body. Nice boobs and tight butt. It's funny how I have never appreciated how pretty she truly is.
After all, I did not fall for her looks when I first went out with her. Beauty is only skin-deep and that rings true for me. She just had this ability to make a broody guy like me smile alot. And that, dear friends, is what had truly melted my heart to pieces about her. She was such a happy soul, and happiness as they say is infectious.
But alas, I proved too much of an asshole for her. Feel like smacking myself for letting slip such a babe. There are many qualities about me she dislikes. I am a rather unruly and vulgar person, as well being rather unrestrained in my promiscuousness (I leave that open to your interpretation). My mistaken impression was that she was willing to accept my faults. I was wrong. And I do not blame her at all. For I am a first rate bast-rd at times.
Right now, I can safely say it is affecting me badly - her absence. I live out my days with no motivation going on. My work is in a mess. My mind is in a mess. I have alot of tasks to sort out right now, in a crucial part of the year. But I just cannot seem to focus. Jumping off tall heights sounds faintly attractive. My temper and behaviour has gotten even worse than before.
Help me people.
A part of me wants so badly to win her heart back. So badly. But I feel that she just would not accept me anymore.
Another part of me, the rationale and logical voice within me, tells me to move on and forget her. But the thought of forgetting her truly torments me.
Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy!Originally posted by Cenarious:Seems like suicide is your only option.
+1 and ban.Originally posted by the.owl:Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy!![]()
Originally posted by browniebaobao:sometimes it's not advisable to tell someone everything abt ur past..
that's my personal opinion..
coz i also need to move on from my past.. dun want anyone to remind me of things that I dun want to remember..
that's why i always keep things to myself..
Well.. this is fr one of a millionth gal out there point of view (doesn't mean that I m that far out or unique but just some opinions fr an unknown gal)Originally posted by iSpeak:Some of the replies in this thread have really struck home.
To threadstarter:
If you are a nut who cares more for your face and pride than the love for that gal, then do the necessary thing. Let her go. The decision is painful and hurting for you, but is necessary for her. By attempting to keep her for yourself when you know you love yourself more than you love her smacks full of selfishness, and you don't deserve her.
Thank you for your open criticalness, really appreciate it.
But no, I do not love myelf more than her.
Then again, you have really taught me something. Perhaps I am loving myself more than her? What gives? Why can't I just humble myself and admit that I am not exactly Mr. Perfect? Am I too great, too good for her that I just cannot bring myself to ask for a second chance? Too embarrassed that she dumped me? The key word would be bitterness.
I have never thought of myself as an overbearing self-absorbed idiot, but maybe I just need to look into the mirror a little more.
Thank you all for your comments. I have accepted everything with openness. Some of you here, in all your candidness and frankness, have really offered me pearls of wisdom. Perhaps I will never again make it with her. But I have grown a little wiser from this experience.
In summary, the lesson I learnt : Stop behaving like some ceeba- kia.
Why can't I just humble myself and admit that I am not exactly Mr. Perfect? Am I too great, too good for her that I just cannot bring myself to ask for a second chance? Too embarrassed that she dumped me?I do not know very much abt the character of your gal. But in my point of view (just been thru with a relationship as well), if she still have some feelings for you, if you'd just profess how regretful you had been and that you'd be willing to change for the better for her sake as well as for your sake (no empty promises pls), she might just give you a second chance...
The key word would be bitterness.So wat did bitterness do for you? You've said you cant get over her. So are you willing to risk your pride, your "ceeba- kia-ness" to try woo her all over again if you've said you can't get over her? If you can't, then to me it is not her that you can't get over, it is your disbelief how you cld hv lost a gal like her. You just can't get over how a smart alec like you cld hv done that...
But no, I do not love myelf more than her.If she's really the classy chick as much as you've painted the pic of her here, she MUST BE WORTH THE WHILE !
I think iSpeak is too smart for that...Originally posted by the.owl:Devil1976, quickly come ban this guy!![]()
congratz on your part then. Dun be a jerk and lose hr again.Originally posted by iSpeak:Hah. It's the 14th of October.
I reeled her back in.![]()
Good for you. Treasure her or I might be next in the queue?Originally posted by iSpeak:Hah. It's the 14th of October.
I reeled her back in.![]()