Would you hold on?
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Good day to you..
Just wondering if anyone can advise me on this little problem i am having.
I am a 27 Female and have this boyfriend for 3 years++. He is the same age as me. Allow me to summarise because its going to be quite a complicated one.
Some of you here might be against the idea of cohabitating. Well, I cohabitate with my boyfriend for all these years.
On our 1st year, he wrote 3 love letters via email to a girl (Let's call her Miss L) he used to like. Upon sawing them, I took it real bad and went devastated. I asked, he confessed. He said words are cheap, no actions are done at all. His intention? To get something off his chest once and for all. Since then, he gave me all his passwords for his bank accounts, emails, etc, just for the sake of assurance.
On our 1.5 years, he wanted to go for a 2 weeks trip to overseas badly. I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will go with him. He searched for a companion and Miss S agreed to go with him. Apparently, I know Miss S used to like my boyfriend alot but my boyfriend insists he sees her like a sister. He asked for my permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
1 day before she touched down (She is not a local), we quarrelled. I was the one who initiated the argument because I couldn't take the idea she is going with him alone. The argument was useless because she was already on the plane. I gave up my bed and sleep in the guest room so that Miss S can sleep in the same room as my boyfriend. Well, a girl normally won't do such a stupid thing but there are some reasons behind it. Miss S is a close friend to my boyfriend's family and my boyfriend did not want her to know we are cohabitating, in case she tells his parents. Therefore, I have to sleep in the guest room. Throughout that 2 weeks, I was so bored that I pestered my boyfriend day and night. Any girl will start thinking...same room and on the same bed, nothing will happen? My boyfriend said throughout the trip, nothing happened between them. They took twin-bed room. Since he assured me on that and he also said he regretted going for the trip without me, I took his words.
1 week after the trip, there was a day when he left his handphone in the toilet. (I didn't touch or purposely search for foreign SMSes. He read the SMS and went out of the toilet, I went in immediately after him). With a glance, I saw Miss S's SMS. To paraphrase what she said, "I miss you very much. I'm in a difficult time now and hope you are here with me." I confronted my boyfriend and again, he assured me nothing has happened between them.
On our 2nd year, his family went against me. Too complicated so wouldn't want to bore you. I told him, marriage is not just between both of us, it involves 2 families and I asked him to give me time alone. It was not an official breakup because we still spent time with each other. During those time, there was a certain guy, called Z, went after me. He didn't asked about my status and didn't know I am still attached. So, I two-timed for 6 months and in the end, I broke up with Z. No, my boyfriend is not even aware of Z's existence, nor is Z aware too.
On our 3rd year, I hinted to my boyfriend about marriage, he kept quiet. He didn't say a word at all. Just recently, I saw again that he is flirting with Miss S over MSN. I don't feel hurt nor am i devastated. I just pretended I didn't know anything and live life normally. I beat around the bush and asked him a few questions...e.g. "Do you consider yourself a flirt?" He said yes.
"Any plans to settle down?" He didn't say a word.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
He jokingly said if I can find a better guy, i can leave an asshole like him. I am just puzzled.
My personal thinking is that he is still young and just want to have more fun with more options out there. Like his mum told him, don't get married so young, go out and get to know more girls. I agreed with his mum and at the same time, I feel 3 years of relationship is dragging my life because it has no conclusion. I think its better to stop cohabitating with him because I feel my presence forbids him to go out with other girls. I might not be his best choice after all.
So guys, give me your opinions. Should I just hold on and wait patiently or just dump him and leave?
Thank you. -
my question is.... do u still love him?
i dun think u do.. since u can two time..
letting go would lessen the hurt... -
Hahaha, I have been thru it just like that. Take my advice. Dump him. And he will come running back to you.
If your heart is soft, you will accept him back. But if I were you, I just live on with my life. 3 years is together and nothing meaningful came out of it. Tell him to begone.
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since not married then declare an official break up. since 1 of u is a flirt and the other a 2 timer. no point being together leh. or myb u shld keep ur status as bf and gf but he go flirt his girls u go 2 time ur guys better still. see who get aids and die 1st.
if u ever wana 2 time somebody, reconsider about it 1st. what if all these while what he told u about ms s and ms L are true that nth haoppened between them but u just simply 2 timed him without even thinking. if u really just want to go ahead with another guy then break off with ur bf 1st la. i hate to use this word but u make me look at u as a hore.
u shld be so damn ashamed of urself for being a 2 timer. 27 yrs old liao still duno how to think act like a sec sch kid. flame me for all u want i cant be bothered by what a hore has to say to me. -
move on.. there're better chaps than him..
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Do what your heart tells you to do so...
If you love him and you feel that if you leave him and he will come after you then do it... but what if he doesn't...
No one can tell you which is the correct way to take... you have to consider it clearly and then execute it... prehaps both should take a break for a few months...
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from tat description, u cant be serious abt marriage r u? u too look more likely on road to doomsday... as for your guy, hes a hopeless flirt and high chance he cheat on you many times u never thought of... but well unless u got full proof evidence on bed... else they might be jz having mental cheat... well he cheat, u also cheat so all is square... the last thing u can think of is continue relationship with this guy cos he is jz too unstable to continue... jz give him his wish to be with Miss S... dun tink both of u will have future...
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Please take answers lightly...
Upon sawing them, I took it real bad and went devastated.
Ans : Since you've sawn them, I thought there are no more problems.
I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will go with him.
Ans : Sounds very sensual to me.
He asked for my permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
Ans : Is he happy or are you silly ?
Too complicated so wouldn't want to bore you.
Ans : ...and confused too.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
Ans : Seriously flirting with you la...
Should I just hold on and wait patiently or just dump him and leave?
Ans : Dump his and her body since you've sawn them already...hehe. Seriously, dump him with immediate effect. -
Has his heart for you changed for someone else?
Looks like it has.
Leave....ur...run!
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ok..your summary is abit too long.
however, i must advise you on guys, who claims that they have nothing to do with a gal, yet write letters, sms them on frequent basis, on the tel, go holiday with them.....
from what you describe him, i think he is not a gentleman at all..so what if the gal is his family friend? He should have let you sleep with the gal, and he sleep in the guest room instead..
a couple staying together, and not getting married is good, so as to know each other habits, but at the same time, also cause boredom in your love life since there is no commitment(marriage cert). When he/she gets tired, they will try and move on to find more excitment. Of cse, there are exception where couples try and spice up their love life again, and finally get married.
when a guy avoids marriage talk, either he is not prepared for it, or he is simply not interested in you anymore..you MUST sit down with him and talk about you n him first, find out whats the problem before talking about marriage....no point getting married just for the sake, and in the end, suffers the tragic of divorce.
however, in your case, even if your love life fail, i think you are as much fault as he is..you also two-timed him....when will a person decides to two-time? when a new partner is more attractive; when your personel love life is at low point; when you dont even like your current partner anymore...
ask yourself what you really want first, before talking to him..
family issues can be quite a thing...my last ex's family was really abit of a blockage to us. Her mum doesnt really like me, but very late on, she tries to accept me...we used to quarrel over it, and although r/s is between 2, when it comes to family, they play some part in it too...you must make them accept you before you become part of their family.. -
Originally posted by Ravelin:
seriously, this cracked me up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Please take answers lightly...
[b]Upon sawing them, I took it real bad and went devastated.
Ans : Since you've sawn them, I thought there are no more problems.
I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will go with him.
Ans : Sounds very sensual to me.
He asked for my permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
Ans : Is he happy or are you silly ?
Too complicated so wouldn't want to bore you.
Ans : ...and confused too.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
Ans : Seriously flirting with you la...
Should I just hold on and wait patiently or just dump him and leave?
Ans : Dump his and her body since you've sawn them already...hehe. Seriously, dump him with immediate effect.
[/b]
sawn them..hahahahahahahahhaa -
v strange lor..
y cannot let the girl sleep with u?
i wun ever let my bf sleep with another girl wan lor.
sleep on my bed somemore!
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wait it out
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tats wat i tink too.. *scratch head*Originally posted by browniebaobao:v strange lor..
y cannot let the girl sleep with u?
i wun ever let my bf sleep with another girl wan lor.
sleep on my bed somemore! 
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i dont tink my gf will allow me to go on trip with a ger loh. let alone slping in da same room.
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from a guys point of view... if i have nothing to do with a girl, i probably won't write letters lolx.. not bothered man!
maybe emails or out to coffee once in a while.. but thats it...
wahh sleeping with another girl? lolx yummy though -
u can go with me
if u want -
ok.. im in a similiar situation as u r... wad i advise u is dat u think properly wad u really want wif this guy. do communicate wif him no matter how... talk to him more.... by ways n means to let him noe wad u r gg thru now... if this test he cant past, say bye bye to him.. there's losta better guys den him... and also, men go out flirt abit here n there is ok... so long dey noe their limit... and u have to let him realise he's limits...Originally posted by tingaling:Good day to you..
Just wondering if anyone can advise me on this little problem i am having.
I am a 27 Female and have this boyfriend for 3 years++. He is the same age as me. Allow me to summarise because its going to be quite a complicated one.
Some of you here might be against the idea of cohabitating. Well, I cohabitate with my boyfriend for all these years.
On our 1st year, he wrote 3 love letters via email to a girl (Let's call her Miss L) he used to like. Upon sawing them, I took it real bad and went devastated. I asked, he confessed. He said words are cheap, no actions are done at all. His intention? To get something off his chest once and for all. Since then, he gave me all his passwords for his bank accounts, emails, etc, just for the sake of assurance.
On our 1.5 years, he wanted to go for a 2 weeks trip to overseas badly. I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will go with him. He searched for a companion and Miss S agreed to go with him. Apparently, I know Miss S used to like my boyfriend alot but my boyfriend insists he sees her like a sister. He asked for my permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
1 day before she touched down (She is not a local), we quarrelled. I was the one who initiated the argument because I couldn't take the idea she is going with him alone. The argument was useless because she was already on the plane. I gave up my bed and sleep in the guest room so that Miss S can sleep in the same room as my boyfriend. Well, a girl normally won't do such a stupid thing but there are some reasons behind it. Miss S is a close friend to my boyfriend's family and my boyfriend did not want her to know we are cohabitating, in case she tells his parents. Therefore, I have to sleep in the guest room. Throughout that 2 weeks, I was so bored that I pestered my boyfriend day and night. Any girl will start thinking...same room and on the same bed, nothing will happen? My boyfriend said throughout the trip, nothing happened between them. They took twin-bed room. Since he assured me on that and he also said he regretted going for the trip without me, I took his words.
1 week after the trip, there was a day when he left his handphone in the toilet. (I didn't touch or purposely search for foreign SMSes. He read the SMS and went out of the toilet, I went in immediately after him). With a glance, I saw Miss S's SMS. To paraphrase what she said, "I miss you very much. I'm in a difficult time now and hope you are here with me." I confronted my boyfriend and again, he assured me nothing has happened between them.
On our 2nd year, his family went against me. Too complicated so wouldn't want to bore you. I told him, marriage is not just between both of us, it involves 2 families and I asked him to give me time alone. It was not an official breakup because we still spent time with each other. During those time, there was a certain guy, called Z, went after me. He didn't asked about my status and didn't know I am still attached. So, I two-timed for 6 months and in the end, I broke up with Z. No, my boyfriend is not even aware of Z's existence, nor is Z aware too.
On our 3rd year, I hinted to my boyfriend about marriage, he kept quiet. He didn't say a word at all. Just recently, I saw again that he is flirting with Miss S over MSN. I don't feel hurt nor am i devastated. I just pretended I didn't know anything and live life normally. I beat around the bush and asked him a few questions...e.g. "Do you consider yourself a flirt?" He said yes.
"Any plans to settle down?" He didn't say a word.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
He jokingly said if I can find a better guy, i can leave an asshole like him. I am just puzzled.
My personal thinking is that he is still young and just want to have more fun with more options out there. Like his mum told him, don't get married so young, go out and get to know more girls. I agreed with his mum and at the same time, I feel 3 years of relationship is dragging my life because it has no conclusion. I think its better to stop cohabitating with him because I feel my presence forbids him to go out with other girls. I might not be his best choice after all.
So guys, give me your opinions. Should I just hold on and wait patiently or just dump him and leave?
Thank you. -
my guy oready let his lover sleep on our bed liaoz... he think i dunno.. but i noe everything... haiz...Originally posted by browniebaobao:v strange lor..
y cannot let the girl sleep with u?
i wun ever let my bf sleep with another girl wan lor.
sleep on my bed somemore! 
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dump the sadist and toy with he when he comes crawling back
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haiz...Originally posted by aHGer^83:my guy oready let his lover sleep on our bed liaoz... he think i dunno.. but i noe everything... haiz...
wei shen me yao zhe yang wei qi zi ji? -
bu zhi dao... ying wei wo ai ta....Originally posted by browniebaobao:haiz...
wei shen me yao zhe yang wei qi zi ji?
but still, he's not the only guy in this world.. walk one step see one step lor... -
bu yao cuo tuo sui yue.Originally posted by aHGer^83:bu zhi dao... ying wei wo ai ta....
but still, he's not the only guy in this world.. walk one step see one step lor...
bu yao hui huo qing chun.
if he's not the one, then dun hesitate to move on.
ai ta you zhen yang?
ta ai ni ma?
ru guo ta ai ni, ta zhen me hui gen bie de nv ren shui?
think about it. -
By two timing i think you are wrong! If u find that he is treating u so unfairly! LET him go and u can go into another relationships. Never ever have the idea of revenge or wadever. In a relationships i think no matter wad u have to be responsible to the other half, although this guyz sounds to me like a jerk, but u done wrong too. Pls try your best to leave him if u can, i know its very very hard, but think carefully are u getting used to him with you. or you really love him? Even u two can be together i think wont be happy already, coz both of u ruin the most important thing which is MUTUAL TRUST. Respect is to gain yourself not ask for. Trust too. Hope u can find a better guy in the future.Originally posted by tingaling:Good day to you..
Just wondering if anyone can advise me on this little problem i am having.
I am a 27 Female and have this boyfriend for 3 years++. He is the same age as me. Allow me to summarise because its going to be quite a complicated one.
Some of you here might be against the idea of cohabitating. Well, I cohabitate with my boyfriend for all these years.
On our 1st year, he wrote 3 love letters via email to a girl (Let's call her Miss L) he used to like. Upon sawing them, I took it real bad and went devastated. I asked, he confessed. He said words are cheap, no actions are done at all. His intention? To get something off his chest once and for all. Since then, he gave me all his passwords for his bank accounts, emails, etc, just for the sake of assurance.
On our 1.5 years, he wanted to go for a 2 weeks trip to overseas badly. I told him that I am tight and asked him if any friends will go with him. He searched for a companion and Miss S agreed to go with him. Apparently, I know Miss S used to like my boyfriend alot but my boyfriend insists he sees her like a sister. He asked for my permission to have Miss S as companion. I agreed.
1 day before she touched down (She is not a local), we quarrelled. I was the one who initiated the argument because I couldn't take the idea she is going with him alone. The argument was useless because she was already on the plane. I gave up my bed and sleep in the guest room so that Miss S can sleep in the same room as my boyfriend. Well, a girl normally won't do such a stupid thing but there are some reasons behind it. Miss S is a close friend to my boyfriend's family and my boyfriend did not want her to know we are cohabitating, in case she tells his parents. Therefore, I have to sleep in the guest room. Throughout that 2 weeks, I was so bored that I pestered my boyfriend day and night. Any girl will start thinking...same room and on the same bed, nothing will happen? My boyfriend said throughout the trip, nothing happened between them. They took twin-bed room. Since he assured me on that and he also said he regretted going for the trip without me, I took his words.
1 week after the trip, there was a day when he left his handphone in the toilet. (I didn't touch or purposely search for foreign SMSes. He read the SMS and went out of the toilet, I went in immediately after him). With a glance, I saw Miss S's SMS. To paraphrase what she said, "I miss you very much. I'm in a difficult time now and hope you are here with me." I confronted my boyfriend and again, he assured me nothing has happened between them.
On our 2nd year, his family went against me. Too complicated so wouldn't want to bore you. I told him, marriage is not just between both of us, it involves 2 families and I asked him to give me time alone. It was not an official breakup because we still spent time with each other. During those time, there was a certain guy, called Z, went after me. He didn't asked about my status and didn't know I am still attached. So, I two-timed for 6 months and in the end, I broke up with Z. No, my boyfriend is not even aware of Z's existence, nor is Z aware too.
On our 3rd year, I hinted to my boyfriend about marriage, he kept quiet. He didn't say a word at all. Just recently, I saw again that he is flirting with Miss S over MSN. I don't feel hurt nor am i devastated. I just pretended I didn't know anything and live life normally. I beat around the bush and asked him a few questions...e.g. "Do you consider yourself a flirt?" He said yes.
"Any plans to settle down?" He didn't say a word.
"Are you serious with me?" He said yes.
He jokingly said if I can find a better guy, i can leave an asshole like him. I am just puzzled.
My personal thinking is that he is still young and just want to have more fun with more options out there. Like his mum told him, don't get married so young, go out and get to know more girls. I agreed with his mum and at the same time, I feel 3 years of relationship is dragging my life because it has no conclusion. I think its better to stop cohabitating with him because I feel my presence forbids him to go out with other girls. I might not be his best choice after all.
So guys, give me your opinions. Should I just hold on and wait patiently or just dump him and leave?
Thank you. -
I cant belive there still girl think that man go out flirt abit is ok? I think this is not call LOVE but Obession already. wake up dont have this idea. Gals deserve better treatment.Originally posted by aHGer^83:ok.. im in a similiar situation as u r... wad i advise u is dat u think properly wad u really want wif this guy. do communicate wif him no matter how... talk to him more.... by ways n means to let him noe wad u r gg thru now... if this test he cant past, say bye bye to him.. there's losta better guys den him... and also, men go out flirt abit here n there is ok... so long dey noe their limit... and u have to let him realise he's limits...